Crrryy - My Fancies

don’t measure a woman’s worth by her clothes - terre des femmes

TianShan official illustrations by Old先

Goblin Slayer face reveal

Khun Aguero Agnis

The Facade Master : because Khun is actually weak

So welcome to this very uncalled for essay about yours truly, Khun <3

⚠️ CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE WEBTOON ⚠️

1. Khun uses a strong cold front so people can't see how traumatised and weak he is

Yes! Khun is someone who hurts... A LOT

The best evidence Khun is GREAT at faking his well being is because you only notice the extent of his trauma later on on the webtoon.

Khun's interactions with Kiseia, his father (the old version of Eduan I mean) and the flashbacks of Maria are the rare moments we CAN SEE who Khun really is. I mean, there are several other moments Khun let's his guard JUST A BIT DOWN but most of those are related to Bam because you guys know... Khun is soft from Bam and stuff 😏🤣

BUT MOVING ON

1. Kiseia / the trauma of an empatic kind hidden soul - I think this one is the main topic, cuz just the fact that she is Khun's main antagonist, means he is VERY afraid of her. And why is that? Because deep down, Khun was traumatized by the fact that his biological sister killed herself when he decided to help Maria

Khun says his sister was very cold and he didn't interact with her much, but Khun is not the heartless dude he claims and shows to be (well, expect for his enemies and RACHEL)

Khun is actually an individual capable of strong empatic feelings. He analizes people and tries to judge their character based on their actions and non verbal language. When Khun formed a team to climb the tower and bitch Rachel stabed Edian's legs until he couldn't almost walk, Khun was in pure sock, and very very conserned for Edian's well being. He stayed up all night by his side to make sure he was all right.

When it comes to Bam, Khun is even more peculiar in his empaty... is almost a possessive kind of empaty. Khun doesn't want Bam to go somewhere he himself can't reach. That's why he hates when people (in the name hunt station) called him " God". But at the same time, Khun wants to shield Bam from those high expectations that might crush him. He doesn't want Bam to have that burn because... he knows the burden of high expectations

2. Maria / the deathly choise and first step to freedom- Maria is a very important person in Khun's life. By the little flashbacks we have, we can see that Maria has sort of an "outcast" in the Khun family because she was unusually kind. When Maria asked Khun if he would help her become a princess of Jahad, Khun had nothing to gain from it.

Khun usually manipulates people and does what he has to do to get that benefits him the most. But when it came to Maria... he choose the worst option. It wasn't a rational option, because Khun is VERY EMOTIONAL. He is bindled to his emotional self because he considers himself a very rational human being, which makes him unable to see how emotional heighted his choises are.

In truth, Khun was captivated by Maria. He was curious because she was different. He decided to help her because she showed him another option, another way... an escape route to a word Khun didn't even know it existed... the world of kidness, a world where life was valued, people didn't kill each other and he could be the child he was without having to be concern about power games inside his family.

And Khun chose Maria in the first place because he HATED those power games. Because he, in truth, kind and never wanted to take part on those dirty, manipulative games. Maria destroyed Khun's life. The price to pay was the heavy trauma and guilt of having his sister kill herself, but Khun got his FREEDOM

Maria presents Khun with the ideia of " struggling is beautiful" and Khun, for the first time, knows that life has value and his family ways are not all the world has to offer

3. Khun Eduan / all not to be and all he can be - Eduan represents Khun's incompetence in leaving the past behind. Even tho he was abandoned by his family, and wants to follow a different path from the Khun family's values and atitudes, Khun is unable to seperate himself from his origins.

But Khun HAS the need to make himself different from other Khuns, shown by how he felt the need to make a spear of his own, so his was not a copy of his father. He, by any means, doesn't want to be associated with Eduan, because Eduan represents all he hates in his family, in his previous life.

But Khun still uses his family name with "pride". More like... a guilt coat I would say. Sometimes he claims how despicable, sneaky, sly and mischievous he can be... but isn't that just a way to TRASH himself? To speak badly of himself?

Isn't that coat just a way to put the weight of others people's shoulders on his? In truth, Khun views himself as someone "dirty" he has blood on his hands despite everything. So he gives himself the dirty jobs he thinks he is worth of doing.

That's the only way he knows how to act. The only way he knows how to survive. If Khun dropped that facade of the sly man that trusts no one... what would be left of him? Someone vulnerable, someone afraid to be abandoned once again, by Bam, just as Maria did. Someone unable to free himself from his family because other than that, he doesn't know who he is, he can't see himself.

And he struggles to find who he is, because he was never able to be anything else than a KHUN . He is still searching for that sensible persona he truly is, but in the harsh reality of the Tower, Khun's sly facade is the best mask to have

4. Bam / protective projection and affection - " I keep my most precious jewel hidden so I never get to use it on me"

SO we had to finish with the best part, right?

Bam is alm Khun wasn't able to be. Innocent, care free, unbounded by anything in the tower. Khun feels the intense need to make sure Baam is not a victim of the same cruelty and raw violence and malice he was victim of. That's why Khun takes care of the dirty jobs himself... because he wants to keep Bam's hands clean, even if it means he was to stain his own hands.

The quote by the start of this topic resumes pretty much Khun's relation with Bam: Khun wants to protect Bam so badly, and shild him from all warm even if he knows that's 100% IMPOSSIBLE but he also wants to live openly with Bam by his side, without hidding. He wants to fully enjoy the pure hapiness of having a real friend by his side.

Khun is VERY VERY afraid of being abandoned. He "choose to be", but that did impact him for the rest of his life. When he judjes someone as someone who is a GOOD PERSON he tends to hold on to them even if his life depends on it. Because in truth, Khun is desperate for that human connection and bonds that Maria showed could exist if he reached for something different.

Bam is a good person in Khun's eyes. In Khun's eyes he must not suffer. But if Bam lives openly, he will SUFFER, because he will show the Tower his true power, the will become the " GOD" and Khun wouldn't be able to reach him any longer. " Isn't better being human? " shows how much Khun wants Bam to free himself from high expectations, just as much Khun needs to still free himself to the weight of his name.

In the end, Khun is fighting a battle he knows he can't win. He is acting on emotion alone when he follows Bam, when he makes sure his jewel is save on his pocket. He knows he was to let it go eventually, but Khun will do everything NOT TO LET GO. Because Khun sees in Bam everything he wishes for, everything he wants in the relationships with others.

Bam is the personification of Khun's resolve to chose the hard, yet better way to live life.

There is nothing sly and evil in his persona. He is just a boy who wasn't able to grow his own personality, self - worth and self - value because of the rudness of the world. Khun doesn't want to be like his family, but not being like them is not enough... because that's a emtpy pit of dispare.

Khun has to be his own person, find who he is.

But until he realizes and admits that those emotions live inside him, until he is able to face himself and his traumas and weakness... Khun will never be able to be more than just " someone different from his family"

Who knows who Khun might turn out to be when he is truly free from himself, when he shows his true colors. I am sure he is far from dirty and rude. He is beautiful, hurt and kind 💙

Ps: I find it interesting how Khun and Killua Zoldyck (from Hunter x Hunter) are so so similar in the way they think and their relationship to their significant other (Gon in Killua's case)

But Killua has able to free himself from his family and find himself at the end. But I think Khun's situation is more complicated than Killua's since there are more people and power games involved. And Khun is even more blind to his emotional side than Killua is...

Let's hope for the best we got your back Khun 😤💙

—— Giving help that’s not asked for… is what makes a true hero!

                                 Midoriya Izuku ✩ 緑谷出久

Man like the zoldyck family arc is A Lot but its also really funny to me in retrospect because they spend like 15 episodes establishing that killua is kind of a weird kid and then you meet his family and its like. Oh hes just the normal one huh.

BEPO USED CUTE ATTACK! AND IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE AGAINST LAW!