Bye To A Real One… Add Your Favourite Smash Mouth Tweet

Kate: Okay everyone, I am assigning all of us to our most difficult mission yet, possibly our whole careers

Price: We’re the core members of 141 Kate, we can handle any-

Kate: We all have to act heterosexual…

Price: KATHLEEN LASWELL! THATS IMPOSSIBLE!

Ghost: I DONT WANT TO GO BACK IN THE CLOSET MOTHER! PLEASE DONT MAKE ME!

Soap: MAMMA PLEASE NO! I DE NOT WANT TO GET A DIVORCE WITH MA HUSBAND AND BE HETEROSEXUAL!

Gaz: IT TOOK ME YEARS TO DISCOVER MY SEXUALITY MOTHER! I DONT WANT TO BE CONFUSED AGAIN!

Farah: I KNOW IM WITH A MAN BUT I DONT WANT TO BE STRAIGHT! PLEASE DONT MAKE ME! WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO DISAPPOINTED YOU AND GET OUR SEXUALITY PRIVATE TAKEN AWAY MOM!

Alex: AFTER THE YEARS OF PRACTICE IT TOOK ME TO PREFECT SAYING I DONT KNOW MY SEXUALITY AND NOW I HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO SAY IM STARTING ALL OVER AGAIN!

Price: YOU ARE PUTTING THE CHILDREN IN DESTRESS KATHLEEN ! YOU HAVE BROKEN THIS FAMILY APART!

Nik, on a zoom call because he wasn’t on base and only needed to know the entry and exit plan: GO PACK YOUR BAGS CHILDREN, I AM TAKING YOU OUT OF THAT ABUSE FILLED HOME!

[Justice League group chat]

Bruce: *gets added to the chat*

Hal: Daddy.

Barry: Daddy.

Clark: Daddy.

Arthur: Stop being loud, I'm napping.

Arthur: Oh, hi Daddy.

Bruce: *leaves the chat*

Jason, in full Red Hood gear: Hey mom, can I borrow one of those new Thanagarian guns you guys got?

Diana: Sure, sweetie.

The rest of the League:

Bruce: *sighs*

The rest of the League:

The rest of the League:

Hal: wtf

i watched an animation with this audio but monty was the one who speak spanish, i thought that it'll look better with El Chip instead of Monty cause he's mexican

What would Queering the Map look like in the DC Universe

For those of you that don't know, Queering the Map is basically this website where people can add pinpoints on a map with their different queer experiences. It's really cool, I suggest checking it out (unless you hate The Gays, in which case feel free to unfollow me).

Now, for the headcanons:

"Went to a baseball game for our third date. We ended up on the jumbotron. Some people booed us. I think it's 'cause I wore a Gotham jersey and she had a Metropolis hat. A modern-day Romeo and Juliet."

"Drag storytime here, every Thursday from 5:30 to 7"

"sometimes love is kidnapping a nepo baby with your two polyamorous boyfriends"

"Did it with another Arkham inmate, 5/10"

"According to my grandfather, who trained me to wield a sword from the moment I could walk, I'm 'too young' to know who I am."

"Themiscyra more like Lesbos 2 amirite"

"I have a crush on a boy in my class but every time I ask him to hang out he tells me he's busy. I know he doesn't do any after-school clubs and he doesn't need a part-time job because he's rich as hell. I have my conspiracy theories. Let's see how they pan out."

"@ Ollie Queen I screwed your son in your office"

"On this street corner, I got so nervous talking to the cute food truck worker that I puked in a trash can. I am 42 years old."

"Don't forget about us in Kahndaq!"

"Smallville boys sure love them cornfields"

"I put the bi in billionaire"

"me-wow ;)"

"It's Sunday morning. My wife and I slept in after a wild time last night. I woke up first so I surprised her with her favorite breakfast and used the food scraps to make compost cupcakes for her plants. Then she kissed me and showed me a funny video because she knows I love wild dogs, and it makes everything I've put up with worth it. Some folks will see this and still call us the villains. If that's the case, I don't wanna be a hero."

"I know where I'd put my Lantern ring ( ͡ ° ل͜ ͡°)"

"No GCPD at Pride"

"I no longer live in England but I had my fair share of adventures back in the day. We have always been here and we always will be."

"first kiss here, tasted like waffles"

"Hey Lex I can be your sugar baby i mean henchman"

"I can run from Keystone to Bludhaven in five seconds flat but it doesn't matter because he'll never see me the way I see him"

"I transed the fish. Signed, an Atlantean"

"Wanna match butts?"

Why am I the funniest at the buttfuck of dawn??

Dick: So yeah, it really pisses Jason off, which is my main motivation, -- but I did sign Bruce up for Tinder

The JL in literal seconds:

CoD incorrect quotes BUT Price is everyone’s dad bc why not lol

*throws confetti*

Price: we all have our own demons

Price, gesturing at the TF141: these are mine

*at zoo*

Soap: what are they in for?

Price: this isn’t a prison…

Gaz: so they can leave?

Price: no, but…

Ghost, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone

Soap, holding a python: guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him?

Price: YOU DID WHAT?!?

Gaz: William Snakespear

Gaz, gesturing at Price: Soap! Look what you did! You made dad upset

Soap: dad, please don’t cry. We’re sorry…

Price, drunk out of his mind and near tears: I DONT REMEMBER GIVING BIRTH TO ANY OF YOU!

Price: IM NOT A FATHER FIGURE

Ghost: what are you doing??

Price, holding a knife above a sandwich: Gaz doesn’t like the crust

Bonus!

He sticks their mission reports on the fridge and THAT’S, ladies and gentlemen and others, CANON!!!

Examples of Bruce’s “Dad Strength” as witnessed by various Robins throughout the years:

can and will bodily pick up any new Robin and bail as soon as gunfire starts on patrol

one time Bruce got out, physically ripped off a broken part of the Batmobile, and threw it in the backseat so he and Jason could keep chasing someone in the Narrows

ran home with Nightwing over his shoulder when he got shot

frequently lifts sewer grates/manhole covers like they weigh nothing

does push-ups with Robins on his back for a challenge

held onto the side of a building with just his fingers for ten minutes once when Steph’s grapple line broke and he had to help her back up

pulls hot dishes from the oven without mitts sometimes for Alfred (insists scar tissue on his hands means he can’t feel it, nobody fully believes him)

Damian swears he saw him kick a tree down once during training. A big tree.

Dick frequently catches him unscrewing screws in his prototypes with his bare fingers

Punches through walls????

can drink nothing but straight black coffee for several days before any signs of discomfort (this freaks out everyone but Tim)