Well Damn

the way ivan aivazovsky looks at the sea…i think…i think that’s what love looks like.

Why did you open that door

I'm not in love with him

Why can't I stop thinking.

About him, about what could've been, about what we have

I'm not in love with him. We were at 14. But not now.

Until we admitted that we both sometimes winder about what could've been. Whay could've been had we met later in life. What could have been were he not in a relationship now.

Those thoughts were pushed far away, every time. Now they are here. The lingering moments. The split second we hold on closer when we hug.

I broke his heart at 15. We weren't in good places and needed to grow and heal. We couldn't do that together. It took him four and a half years to get over. To stop wishing it were different. And still, he was there for me when we started talking again.

He was the one I texted when I woke up in the hospital. He was the one cheering me on when I made the smallest steps in my recovery. He made me realise what I was missing, in both my last relationships.

Even when I had no intention of being with him.

And now...

I don't know if we would work out. If we would be happy. Yes, it would be easy to fall into. We've known eachother so long. But there are so many conversations we never had. We didn't cross that line. We still haven't.

And we won't.

Because he is in a relationship. And he says he is happy and building a future with her.

If he's truly happy, then I am happy for him

The last thing i want to do is hurt him

And I'm not walking into heartbreak eyes wide open.

Besides, the relationship we do have is so dear to me. I love him as a person.

But I'm not in love with him. And at that I shall lay it to rest

So, dear hypothetical parallel world, take good care of us. He may always be my "what if"

"If roses could talk, they would not boast of their beauty, because they know that they have always been beautiful."

-Michael Bassey Johnson, Song of a Nature Lover

I love everything about this. Hick up and Astrid are one of my favourite couples ever. But please, also historical viking essays! 🙏😊

my old How to Train your Dragon obsession suddenly re-emerging now, after I've spent years learning about Historical Viking Clothing and Crafts is great actually cause I get to apply the Fun History Knowledge to my favorite blorbos, and now I have some very specific scenarios.

in Viking culture, gift giving was a big complicated very significant thing. And one gift that was Especially Significant was that of a New Shirt. Women would propose to the guy they wanted to marry by making him a brand new linen shirt. I could go on for several pages about what that tells us about viking culture, gender roles, and also the extremely fun ways viking age stories used "gifting a shirt" as a symbol in romantic stories, but I'll restrain myself. This post is about How to Train your Dragon.

Astrid Hofferson can't sew. There's no way. Girl spent her whole life training to be a warrior, she has not had the time or patience to sit down and learn to sew (even though it involves a whole lot of stabbing things with a sharp object). I mean even her own clothes are made with minimal amounts of sewing (a needlebound tank top and some furs wrapped around her arms instead of sleeves).

Hiccup Haddock Horrendus III, on the other hand, knows how to sew. Sure he mostly works with metal and leather, but leatherwork requires sewing. I'm pretty sure I can find actual footage of him using a needle. Also his clothes are nicely sewn, and since he grew up without a mum, and his dad is a very busy man, he must have made at least parts of his outfit himself.

So my question is: how did they ever get engaged. How did that proposal go? Did Astrid suffer through learning a new skill so she could spend months of her life painstakingly stitching together the Worst Shirt Ever Made? I imagine her rage quitting after she has to undo that one seam for a fourth time, and in true Astrid fashion, just chucking it at Hiccup with full force when he walks into the room.

or! would Hiccup defy Viking Gender Norms because he gets that Astrid has no interest in sewing? and then he gets it into his head that it has to be the most elaborate shirt on the whole island cause it's for his girlfriend and he can't even remember ever seeing her in a nice shirt before? and that's a shame cause she deserves to have nice things! And he overthinks every choice along the way because what if she hates it???? But ofc it turns out really nice and she adores it.

If only I ever become rich

The Library of Thorvald Boeck (1902). Harriet Backer (Norwegian, 1845-1932). Oil on canvas. National Gallery, Oslo, Norway.

Olaf Thorvald Boeck (1835-1901) was a Norwegian lawyer, civil servant and book collector. His library was known for its time as the largest private library in Norway. Backer’s painting incorporates only one part of the library.

(via the author, at the Ex Bird place)

by Konstantin Grigoryev

“No matter how attractive a person’s potential may be, you have to date their reality.”

— Mandy Hale

To live life that softly. Ans to create that beautifully

Salvatore Postiglione (1861–1906), Dante and Beatrice (detail)