My User Should Be Read As Cowboy III

you hear someone screaming “and he was tall! he also didn’t give a fuck about his hair or appearance” as they drag a third roommate into your padded cell

"BUFF SIRIUS" i scream as they drag me into the white room "HE WAS BUFF AND LEAN AND HE HAD MUSCLES" i keep screaming while they strap me to a chair "HE'S NOT A TWINK" they silence me and put me in a strait jacket

its me and my adhd insomnia against the two am “the reason im not already successful and never will be is because i am simply not determined or strong enough to make my goals reality, so to rectify that i should immediately write and query a novel before dawn”

rotating john gaius in my head and how he is both a coloniser and a victim of colonisation and how, when presented with the opportunity to rebuild all of society from the ground-up, chose not to model it after his own oppressed culture, but instead after an aesthetic VERY CLOSELY ASSOCIATED WITH WHITE SUPREMACY (neoclassicism), and how his daughter is the only thing in his entire, expansive empire that he named in his language in ten thousand years, and how he perpetuates the cycle he himself was a victim of. tearing my hair out tazmuir WHEN I GET YOU

when jily exists, sirius is james’s best friend

when prongsfoot exists, lily is james’s best friend

when jilypad exists, they are besties tyvm

i still can't believe that this fandom thinks regulus black was less dramatic than his brother. like... regulus?? mr "to the dark lord 😈😈 i know i will be DEAD 💔💔😔😔🥀 long before you read this 🤫🧏‍♂️🐺🗣 but i want you to know it was i who discovered your secret 🙈🫵🫵 i have stolen the REAL horcrux ⛓️🐺 😌 and intend to DESTROY it as soon as i can💥🕑🔥 i face death 🤪🤪😎 in the hope that once you meet your MATCH 😈🗣😎 you will be mortal once more" ?? girl was a certified drama queen idk what you're ON about

if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

Tamsyn Muir: “Here's a series about how a man's vindictiveness dooms the universe, all because his trauma left him incapable of believing in forgiveness over vengeance. As contrast, the protag in the first book reflects something closer to divinity by extending her abuser grace so that she can repent and change, and the protag of the third book begs her brother to not flatten a planet in revenge after having experienced forgiveness.”

too many TLT fans: “yass can't wait for my girlies to kill God!!!”

The senate has the chance to do the funniest thing this Ides of March

I fucking hate the "James hates Sirius after the prank" trope. I'm sorry but there's NOTHING Sirius could do that would make James hate him. James would probably kiss Sirius and praise his great prank idea. These two will never abandon each other and that's it.

”can mutuals dm” my mutuals can suck the marrow from my bones