first things first riko needed to be brutally beaten to death, a shot was too quick
renee talked like a fortune cookie and it was pissing me off
i wish we got more of Wymack and Jean, it was very nice of him to get on the plane with Jean
jean immediately getting annoyed with basic life is really funny
jean is also really sassy and hilarious
also something weird happened in jeremeys house
my personally theory is that he had a sibling who died and his family thinks its his fault
like maybe an accident or maybe the sibling overheard something that they weren't supposed to and his sibling had to die as a result
whatever happened the butler knows about it and is trying to protect him
and whatever happened had to be bad because the act of dying his hair had his family ban him from the dinner table
neil believing his relationship with andrew as a strength his really good for his character, considering his mom was so keen on him not forming any connections
the fact that jean actually considered reaching out to his sister, only for him to learn that she was dead breaks me every time
and neil using her to force him into a belief that he doesn't deserve to belong to anyone but himself was a necessary cruelty.
i also like that Jeremey was the one who telling him about Rikos death was good
jean has no agency in the entire 1st act of the book, he is taken from the nest and basically held captive, then he is forced to go to the sunshine court, which he doesn't like but has to
the foxes all hide info from jean for his own good
and jeremey being the one to tell him is nice because jeremey is his first taste of freedom
jean talking about his abuse in such a casual manner is horrifying bc he thinks its so normal and its horrifying
" i didn't ask" broke me in so many ways because Jean doesn't particularly trust jeremey at the time, nor did it slip out while he was angry, he just said it so casually like it was normal
At first i felt bad for Lucas, but not so much anymore.
he was a sympathetic character who was trying to straddle a thin line of having faith in his captain and who he belives is a violent stranger and his brother who is not the same boy he know
but bringing Greyson to jean was soo fucking stupid it pisses me off
and the fact that jean wasn't even really fighting back, just trying to protect himself is upsetting
also the imagery of him punching the keypad over and over again just trying to get out is gutting
jean isn't a dog who bites, he's a dog who puts his foot to the fire because he believes that he is supposed to do
the water scene was sad as well because he was trying so hard to behave but physically could not
also Jeremey and really most people on the team meet his violence with unflinching kindness is really sweet
i also appreciate how jeremey doesn't force jean to talk about his trauma or even takes the notes from him, jean has had little to no control in his life since he was 15 and forcing him to talk about it when he wasn't ready would have made it worse
and jean asking jeremey to pretend was sweet and what was even sweeter when he did
jean learning to cook is nice as well because he needs life skills
theory for book 2: jeremey buys jean his freedom and jean becomes an exy coach ( more of a pipe dream i guess)
i also think Greyson will kill lucas
jeremeys saving grace being the thought of his sister deserving better is horrifying
i wish we got more of his relationship with Zane
neil is a real one because Jean compared Greyson to drake once, and Neil took care of it for him
jean being afraid of sleeping alone is so sad because he's basically been trained to sleep next to someone
and the fact that he has nighmares, but they are hardly mentioned, and jeremey is the one to bring it up is so sad
also kevin should have tried harder to reach out to jean
jean pushed away the foxes because he knew they would eventually leave him too
jean being steadfast in the idea that if he plays a good game he will have momentary peace is heartbreaking
jean holding onto his talent despite people thinking he slept his way to the top is also upsetting
i hope we get a zane and jean reunion bc i think they truly cared for each other
maybe kevin sends jean a postcard and a magnet and they can reconnect
also him realizing his very limited possesions have been destroyed made me almost cry
and the magnet scene with jeremey is very sad, but him realizing the magnets are broken make him realize that he is
kevin and jean still both being afraid of riko is telling bc riko is dead
let me know what yall thought... always willing to talk about all for the game.
so i just read a secret history, and Richard what the fuck?
*clinks my glass*
Can I have your attention please? Thank you. I would like to make a toast.
We imagine a lot stories. Some we write down, some we forget and some fade away with time. We keep on writing though, even if the previous ones stay work in progress. These ideas, stories and dreams are what made us and will make us till we breathe our last.
So here's to, unfinished work and unedited books and may they thrive just as you do.
"don't worry about it" i say while spending nights directing what I did to make you do that to me
I be like “yeah we cool” then never feel comfortable interacting with u again
BUT WHO COULD LOVE ME? I AM OUT OF MY MIND // IVAN & TILL
pinterest // VIVINOS Alien Stage, "ROUND 6" (via youtube) // Anne Sexton Complete Poems of Anne Sexton, "The Papa and Mama Dance" // Fall Out Boy Hum Hallelujah // VIVINOS Alien Stage, "ROUND 6" (via youtube) // Ernest Hemingway The Garden of Eden // Florence + the Machine Grace // Elliot Wake Black Iris // The National Daughters of the Soho Riots // VIVINOS Alien Stage, "ROUND 6" (via youtube) // Mitski I Guess // Adam Silvera They Both Die at the End // Lorde Writer in the Dark // VIVINOS Alien Stage, "ROUND 6" (via youtube) // Margaret Atwood Cat's Eye // Chris Abani Dog Woman // VIVINOS Alien Stage, "ROUND 6" (via youtube) // Warsan Shire Souvenir, "Our Men Do Not Belong to Us" // VIVINOS Alien Stage, "ROUND 6" (via youtube) // Louise Glück Faithful and Virtuous Night
thriftbooks better world books half-price books wonder book pangobooks libgen archive.org ubuweb kanopy (library card required; free) tubi pluto tv
storygraph
abebooks, book depository, and goodreads are all owned my amazon.
Listen. If you think writing fanfiction is cringe please know that I am currently pursuing my Masters degree in Creative Writing for fiction and I want you to know that most of the people in my graduate program either read fanfiction, write fanfiction, or do both. I promise you: cringe is dead. Write whatever you want. Do whatever makes you happy.
Sylvia Plath, aged 22, in a letter to Ann Davidow-Goodman (dated Tuesday, 23 November 1954)
sorry I went kind of awol... been having some trouble finding the time for this, dove headfirst into a knew writing project and exam season is kicking my ass. i also fucked up my neck pretty bad, litterly getting out of bed or some reason.
what i did today did laundry filmed speech wrote took notes studied
basially why i haven't been posting
if you can't get rid of it, you might as well romanticise it, right?
lying awake on hot summer nights and listening to a sad girl playlist
sitting by the ocean or lake while looking melancholic
collecting sea shells and other little trinkets to look at
reading ancient philosophy and russian literature in public
strolling around your neighbourhood and befriending stray cats
eating way too much fruit
thinking about the fig tree
watching the moon and staying up until sunrise
mourning your non-existent summer romance
wired headphones
getting really good at making iced coffees
watching sad summer movies
writing poetry on postcards that you will never send
taking lots of Polaroids of mundane things
crying
I myself have been dealing with what I like to call "the summer blues" so I felt like writing something like this, I hope it resonates with some of you!! As always, please feel free to share your own suggestions and tips in the comments! <3
love ya ・:*₊‧✩
186 posts