Today I Learnt That Chinese National Figure Skaters Wang Shiyu And Liu Xinyu Onced Skated To Wuji And

As a guqin player, Lan Wangji has long nails, right? However (due to reasons and whatnot) they’ve been breaking a lot lately, which is inconvenient if you ask Lan Wangji, but downright a tragedy if you ask Wei Wuxian.

Cue to Wei Wuxian pretty much being gone the whole day for several days, falling asleep in the library, and also getting caught near the female disciples’ area twice, until he comes back one evening (past curfew) with the cultivation world’s first ever baby blue nail polish.

At first, he just wanted something to help strengthen Lan Wangji’s nails, it wasn’t even going to have color, but then the female disciples opened his eyes to this whole new world, and really, his Lan Zhan would look so good, wouldn’t he? 

And that’s why now Gusu Lan’s Hanguang-jun is often spotted with flawless baby blue nails, which causes many people to swoon at the sight of him, no matter how many times it happens, and yes, that includes Wei Wuxian. The end!

The Shen Yuan who took his little sister to and from belly dancing classes, and practiced with her just to supervise her (he, having fun with that? ... he will never admit it out loud) and who happens to hum some of those melodies, now transmigrated into the Shen Qingqiu who for some mission must take a temporary female form and introduce as a dancer at a event to catch the attention of a weird and bloodthirsty demon (with the obvious company and embarrassing supervision of his shidi Liu Qingge and some of his trustworthy disciples).

Yes, Shen Qingqiu is against that at first… But the other option was to use Ning Yingying! He will absolutely not put that little girl in potential danger! And of course Qi Qingqi would never wear one of those embarrassing outfits, and Qi Qingqi's choice of disciples was still to send young girls to potential risk.

Okay, at least Shen Qingqiu knows how to dance.

(And he dances very well, to the absolute internal chaos of the white lotus Luo Binghe, and the near qi deviation of Liu Qingge. Where the hell did Shen Qingqiu learn to dance like that!? That's what he did in brothels, dance classes!?)

It was about time I made a big ilustration of these two.

This was a challenge because idk how to draw kisses or underwater scenes

the world of pidw is malfunctioning. wives already wed are not triggering their wife plots, and the story is suffering!

to fix the issue, the system has grabbed the soul of shen yuan to act as wife plot enacter. he must now set in motion the wife plots for every wife who does not stumble onto it by herself, as well as keep the timeline on track.

luo binghe thinks there’s a weird meddling kidnapper with access to aphrodisiac plants who’s jealous of either him, or his harem. he genuinely can’t tell. the man, who he’s never seen but had been described as kind, beautiful and gentle, was either too kindhearted to hurt any of his wives or a malicious spirit. some of the wives even come back with gifts. as apology? enticement? luo binghe doesn’t know. some wives even want to go back, while others ask the emperor for leniency. he’s yet to manage to catch this mysterious man.

the system has applied a special tag to npc shen yuan’s character profile: “protagonist halo’s blindspot”, which allows him to evade every attempt at being discovered by the protagonist while active! it’s really quite helpful.

eventually luo binghe figures out some kind of pattern to the whole thing (airplane had a system) and, disguised as the wife in “danger”, he allows himself to be kindapped and taken to a modest but warm home where he’s shown to “his” room and told to wait by the most beautiful man he’s ever seen. he’s given books and food, and assured no one will bother him until the emperor shows up.

when luo binghe doesn’t show up to save the wife, shen yuan begins feeling bad for keeping her cooped up and starts keeping her company. they talk, play table games, she cooks for him when he proves hopeless in the kitchen. shen yuan feels horrible: where is binghe? this beauty is waiting to be saved, and he’s nowhere to be seen! and she’s so cool, too! very powerful cultivator! why would binghe not want to save her? he’s left the appropriate amount of clues! also, where’s the system?! the damn thing announced it was enacting “final wife plot protocol” and then fucked off!!! shen yuan was so close to freedom!!!!!!!!

and that’s the story of how luo binghe found his empress

Since MXTX said HuaLian live until the modern times, have some random headcanons:

Hua Cheng keeps being an interior decorating king so of course his and Xie Lian's home is tastefully decorated for every season and holiday. However, that doesn't stop Xie Lian from occasionally adding the fugliest item ever because he got emotionally attached to it in the store. "It was all by itself, San Lang, nobody wanted it... i know what that feels like better than anyone..." and now they're both sniffling holding an ugly styrofoam pumpkin in the middle of the fall decor isle of Ikea.

The stray animals food budget is off the charts but it's nobody's fault all strays are immediately drawn to Xie Lian and he has to feed them cause he "knows what it's like to be hungry". This does not just include cats and dogs but also rats, raccoons, several bird species and at least one coyote.

Speaking of budgets, the financial control authorities are lowkey on Hua Cheng's case because he is still stinking rich but nobody knows where the cash is coming from. They think Ghost City is the name of some shady mafia establishment and are trying to find dirt on Hua Cheng but there is literally nothing there and it eats the government alive.

Xie Lian occasionally dumpster dives in places where he knows they throw perfectly salvageable things. Hua Cheng cries every time it happens but he stands watch so the police doesn't arrest his husband for it.

In the same vein, Xie Lian insists on recycling literally everything. They have those different colored trash bins and everything, and every time Hua Cheng places an item in the wrong bin, Xie Lian gives him a disapproving look that has the ghost king crumble.

They have so many house plants. It's like a little jungle in their living room but the air is so crisp.

They keep several scrapbooks of paintings, pictures, letters etc from all the people they met to remember them even hundreds or thousands of years after those people have passed away. Even if they now have access to phones and other media for storage, they keep up the tradition of using scrapbooks and notebooks anyway.

Xie Lian is actually up to date with memes and internet slang but has embraced being a cringe Facebook grandpa and is now committed to the persona. Hua Cheng finds this hilarious (he runs a very well maintained beauty channel and a side channel on swords where Xie Lian features in every video and geeks out about their sword collection. They have a golden button and a very large following).

Hua Cheng has a 25 step skincare routine and only uses the fanciest brands of products for literally everything. Xie Lian still swears by 8 in 1 shampoo and somehow has clearer skin. Hua Cheng is both enamored and scandalized about it.

Hua Cheng is a very big fan of acryllics and lets Xie Lian pick the base color every time. Xie Lian takes this task very, very seriously and tries to coordinate it with any activities/events they have planned so Hua Cheng stays being stylish.

Hua Cheng has a portable Dyson Airwrap with him at all times because one time a kid said his hair looks like a wet dog.

Xie Lian is not allowed to get a job because every time he tried to along the decades he became a cautionary tale somehow.

this entire scene is so revealing. notice how all these rich young masters are lost? lan qiren is asking them about something as important (and basic) for cultivators as handling a dead human soul, and they have to flip through their books for an answer.

my opinion is that they're ignorant because these obligations are, at best, boring procedural matters to them. unnecessary red tape, even. as members of the cultivation world's gentry, they're largely shielded from the possibility of becoming resentful corpses due to the soul tranquilization rites. this isnt their problem, so why should they care?

their ignorance stands in stark contrast to lan wangji's textbook perfect answer. (an early example of him displaying an earnest dedication to his duty that sets him apart from the rest of the gentry.) he makes it clear that destroying souls is an extreme last resort.

notably lan wangji's answer implies that orthodox cultivators are taught to procedurally destroy souls. but at the same time, many of these cultivators — namely the rich young masters who at this age are already going on night hunts — don't care enough to know, or much less adhere to, the correct order that places this method as a last resort. i think there's a strong implication that it's not uncommon for impatient or glory-obsessed cultivators to carelessly skip the first two methods entirely and just destroy the soul, because it's more convenient.

but the character whose reaction i find most interesting is wei wuxian. rather than automatically giving the textbook, orthodox answer, he visibly hesitates and contemplates. this is obviously something he's putting a lot of thought into!

and interestingly, when he does provide an answer, he never mentions destroying souls. he places manipulation of resentful energy between deliverance and suppression — implicitly excluding extinction (translated by seven seas as obliteration) from the order entirely.

i think it's important that unlike his classmates, wei wuxian is intimately familiar with destitution and precarity. moreover, as the novel reveals much later on, wei wuxian is not sheltered from the reality of the underclass facing extinction of the soul after death. he is keenly aware of the possibility that he could become one of them.

so when wei wuxian answers, he's speaking from the heart. it's true that he's trying to provoke lan qiren here, but it's equally true that he's giving an honest answer.

while rewriting this analysis for tumblr, it struck me as deeply ironic that lan qiren is singling out wei wuxian to accuse him of not taking his cultivator duties seriously and letting the glory get to his head.

but on closer examination, nobody in this room — not lan qiren, not the sheltered young masters, not even lan wangji — put as much thought and care into this issue as wei wuxian.

Time travel AU where post canon Lan Qiren travels back in time to when Wei Wuxian is 4 and has just lost his parents. Lan Qiren may hate the man (now boy), but he still follows the rules strictly and will not kill. Instead, Lan Qiren finds a 4 year old Wei Wuxian cowering in an alley hiding from dogs. He protects the boy because the rules tell him that it is his duty to do so.

There is a spiteful part of him that wants to send this boy far away. However, he reconsiders when he thinks of how the Wei Wuxian in his previous life created Demonic Cultivation when left unattended. The best way to keep the boy in line, Lan Qiren figures, is to raise him himself as a ward. Keep your friends close but your enemies closer, they say.

So that is exactly what Lan Qiren does.

Wei Wuxian is brought back to the Cloud Recesses and raised as a ward alongside Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji. Lan Qiren would prefer otherwise, but he doesn't trust anyone else but himself to control Wei Wuxian.

As time goes by, Wei Wuxian proves to be the same and different to the one that Lan Qiren knew previously. He's energetic and mischievous, carefree, with a love for teasing others. Every bit as genius and inventive as Lan Qiren knew of the boy in his previous life. However, there was a strong sense of justice that he didn't notice the last time (or refused to see, but it would take years for him to admit to himself).

And Wei Wuxian thrives in a way that Lan Qiren didn't expect. He knew that Wei Wuxian was powerful and intelligent, yet he did not realize just how so. As much as the boy loved to tease and joke around, he could also be found in the Library Pavilion studying whatever random topic caught his interest. Talking everyone's ears off on what he learned or ways that certain things can be improved upon.

It infuriates Lan Qiren to no end because many times, Wei Wuxian is right. Many times, Wei Wuxian just needs guidance to find the right direction or a different perspective. Since Lan Qiren was raising him alongside his own nephews, the people that Wei Wuxian goes to the most are them: Lan Qiren, Lan Xichen, and Lan Wangji. The latter two always happy and excited to discuss the myriad topics, while the former confused as to the feelings he's having for the boy.

Lan Qiren's sister-in-law passes, and Wei Wuxian kneels next to Lan Wangji in the snow for hours silently in comfort. It's the first indication that the boy is secretly kind and compassionate (not so much if had he paid attention the last time and rid himself of clouded judgments). It's the event that causes the two boys to be inseparable. Of course Lan Qiren is worried but, he tells himself that he will not let them marry. He will not let Wei Wuxian turn into that evil man he ended up being.

Years keep going by, and Lan Qiren finds himself slowly warming up to Wei Wuxian. He's there for many important firsts (losing his teeth, golden core formation, getting his sword, etc). He will never admit that his heart squeezed when the boy accidentally calls him A-die without thinking because he's so excited about something he's learned.

Jiang Fengmian comes to the Cloud Recesses when he finds out that Weo Wuxian is there. Desperately, he tried to convince Lan Qiren to let the boy become a part of Yunmeng Jiang. But Lan Qiren is adamant in his refusal. The boy was raised there the last time and look at how he ended up! He doesn't know that this fundamentally changed Wei Wuxian's destiny. From a tragic hero given a second chance to a free boy allowed to be happy.

The Jiang sect leader mentions during this visit that Wei Wuxian owes Lan Qiren a life debt. It's something that hadn't crossed Lan Qiren's mind. Not really. He had been raising the boy selfishly to change a horrible future. Sure. However, it was against the rules and his own morals to demand a child pay reparations to be allowed to live. He has felt the same way when Lan Sizhui, his good perfect Lan Sizhui, had been adopted into the family. To Lan Qiren, it was unfathomable to demand payment from a child in such ways.

And anyway, Wei Wuxian's genius was already making itself known. If the boy invented even half of what he came up with in his previous life (Lan Qiren crossed his fingers for no Demonic Cultivation), then the Lan Sect would be paid in full from the proceeds.

Still, years continued to creep by, and Lan Qiren began to feel pride in Wei Wuxian. He followed the rules decently well, received his punishment with little protest, and had an insatiable thirst for knowledge. The boy could be seen at any given moment debating an array of topics with seniors, elders, and peers.

When Wei Wuxian started going on night hunts with Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji, the three became known as the Three Jades of Lan. Pride bloomed even more in Lan Qiren's heart. He had successfully turned Wei Wuxian into a good and polished man. What he didn't realize was that he gave structure to a boy who needed it and didn't make him feel guilty for existing.

The Wens came and tried to burn the Cloud Recesses down but didn't succeed. Between Lan Qiren, Wei Wuxian, Lan Xichen, and Lan Wangji, the wards were strengthened, and the books copied and protected. The Sunshot campaign took longer to fight because Wei Wuxian had learned long ago of the dangers to the mind and body that it caused. He had also learned that he shouldn't rip himself apart to help others. Lan Qiren had implored the boy to never try and had used the boy's love and adoration for Lan Xichen and especially Lan Wangji to convince him.

After the Sunshot campaign, Wei Wuxian comes to Lan Qiren about the innocent Wens cultivator and noncultivator alike. By this point, Lan Qiren can agree that innocent people should not die because of selfish greed and blind prejudice. There are years of trials completed by a multisect jury. The Wen sect survives but becomes a minor sect by the time the trials and reparations are completed. Under Wen Qionglin, they focus on medicine and archery.

Wen Qionglin swears brotherhood with Wei Wuxian. It doesn't surprise Lan Qiren in the least bit. Had it been a lifetime ago, it would've infuriated him yet with all these years and direct dealings with Wen Qionglin, he respects the boy. Admires the gentleness that hides a fierce strength and sense of justice. Especially admires Wen Qing, who Lan Xichen ends up falling for and marrying. Again, had it been a lifetime ago, he would've lost his mind. Now, Lan Qiren can see Wen Qing for her genius, her directness, strictness, and her advancements in medicine.

After Lan Xichen and Wen Qing marry, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian approach Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen to ask about marriage. There is no denying them at this point because he knows that the Wei Wuxian of his previous life is nothing like this current Wei Wuxian (he is but Lan Qiren has no one to admit it to). And anyway, he knows the two will simply elope if denied.

It's several years later, when Lan Qiren finally sits Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, and Lan Xichen down and tells them a story from a lifetime ago in a forgotten timeliness that may exist somewhere out there if you believe in multiple universes (not surprisingly Wei Wuxian does). They patiently listen as Lan Qiren details everything. There is silence for a long, unbearable moment when he's finished speaking.

Eventually, it's broken by a hug from Wei Wuxian, "Thank you, A-die, for giving me another chance in this life."

"I should be the one thanking you, A-Ying," Lan Qiren says softly, himself grateful for his second life.

Merry Merry … very untamed and sexy Holidays.

kiss of death

The One in which Wei Wuxian Died

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Got an idea for an au in the dead of the night which I might flesh out later. Idk. But for now, here’s what it amounts to.

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Wei Wuxian, post-canon, happily married to Lan Wangji, is not in fact getting along with his in-laws. And by in-laws, I mean Lan Qiren. Lan Qiren is convinced that Wei Wuxian is the devil incarnate that stole away and seduced his well behaved nephew, corrupting him. Nothing new from the man who held a grudge against a literal fifteen year old. He does not hide the fact that he believes things would be better off had Wei Wuxian not existed in the first place.

Wei Wuxian, who is in fact a talismanic genius, decides that if Lan Qiren wants a world where he doesn’t exist so badly, he’ll help the man out. He then spends the next few weeks developing a talisman (or array, if that works better) that will allow Lan Qiren to view an alternate timeline in which Wei Wuxian does not exist. He promptly presents it to Lan Qiren, explains the concept, and laughs as he tells Lan Qiren to use it whenever he wants to relax.

Most importantly, Lan Qiren is a spectator to this timeline. He is unable to influence it.

(While Wei Wuxian perhaps no longer blames himself for certain events, like the Wens attacking Lotus Pier, considering they likely would have done so no matter his perceived slight, he does not think through the effect his not being there would bring about during other such events. So while self blame is not as prevalent as it once would have been, he does not think the world would find detriment in his absence. He is wrong.)

Now, with the initial setup out of the way, let’s dive into this alternate timeline, starting with the first divergence; Wei Wuxian himself.

In this timeline, Wei Ying, nearing six years old, succumbs to a fever brought about by infected dog bites after his first encounter with them on the streets. (His little spirit is very happily enjoying spending time with his parents in the afterlife. he’s probably the only carefree individual in this timeline.)

Lotus Pier, despite Wei Wuxian having never stepped foot within it, is still wrought with tension. Jiang Cheng still develops an inferiority complex, and Jiang Yanli still takes it upon herself to parent her little brother in the absence of any real parenting from Madam Yu and Jiang Fengmian, who are too busy fighting with each other to pay much attention to their children aside from using them as ammunition for their ire. While the main family is dealing with this infighting, the Jiang Sect stagnates and weakens under the mismanagement of their appointed Head Disciple until Jiang Fengmian finally catches wind of this during one of Madam Yu’s night hunts when she’s not around to distract him. A new Head Disciple is chosen, but the damage will take time to repair.

Cloud Recesses is relatively calm, the year Wei Wuxian was meant to attend. With a few distinct differences. Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang are not friends without Wei Wuxian to act as a buffer between Jiang Cheng’s headstrong personality and Nie Huaisang’s far meeker disposition. Lan Wangji does not spend the year falling in love with a troublesome rule-breaker, and continues to seclude himself away behind an icy disposition. Su She drowns during the confrontation with the Waterborne Abyss. The students come, study, and leave. Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan’s engagement remains intact by the end of the year. Lan Wangji does not come out of his shell, and Lan Xichen continues to worry about his brother.

Wen Chao still performs poorly during the archery competition. The Lan sect is still burnt down. The indoctrination still occurs. Mianmian is branded on the face. The disciples manage to escape with few casualties, but the Xuanwu of Slaughter remains alive. Lan Wangji will never regain full mobility of his leg despite the strength of his golden core.

Lotus Pier still burns. Jiang Yanli, safe in Lanling at the time, becomes the sole survivor of the main family. Without Wei Wuxian there to temper his impulsivity, Jiang Cheng joins back in the fight after being sent away and dies alongside his parents. The Jiang sect dissolves with so little members left with no one suitable to lead them. Jiang Yanli officially marries into the Jin sect the year after.

The Sunshot Campaign is still formed, but lacking the support of both the Jiang and the Jin (whose contribution is so minimal it barely counts for anything), it was doomed from the beginning. The Wen storm Qinghe Nie whilst the Sunshot Campaign gathers its forces, and Wen Xu takes Nie Huaisang hostage to force Nie Mingjue to come fight them. The Sunshot Campaign is thusly defeated, and as it’s figurehead, Nie Mingjue is beheaded.

Following this, Jin Guangshan openly allies himself with Wen Rouhan, whilst both the Lan and Nie are absorbed into the Wen sect. Anyone who protests this is executed or used for more of Wen Rouhan’s experiments regarding resentful energy.

It is during this lull in activity that Jin Ling is born to Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli. Things are peaceful in Lanling for approximately two years until Wen Rouhan sets his sights on completely conquering the cultivation world and targets the Jin sect. Jin Guangshan dies after his core is crushed by Wen Zhuliu. Following a promise made to Jiang Yanli, Jin Zixuan flees with Jin Ling after Jiang Yanli is captured to buy them time to escape (the only reason it is not Jin Zixuan buying time for Jiang Yanli and Jin Ling is that he has a better chance at being able to protect their son, given Jiang Yanli’s weaker cultivation). She is brought to Nightless City after Wen Xu takes an interest in her.

After an entire year on the run from the Wen, Jin Zixuan is finally caught in Yiling. He puts up a significant fight to protect Jin Ling but is ultimately injured. This is where Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen show in the narrative. They help Jin Zixuan fight off the Wen soldiers, but Jin Zixuan is dying. He entrusts Jin Ling into the care of the two rogue cultivators, making them promise to keep the boy safe. The two agree. So they leave Jin Zixuan in Yiling and travel to the safest place Xiao Xingchen knows; a place he knows accepts orphaned children. He takes Jin Ling to the Celestial Mountain, upon which resides none other than Baoshan Sanren.

(Jin Zixuan, for his part, does not die. Wen Qing, who although has since been called back to Nightless City to resume her work as Wen Rouhan’s personal physician, occasionally travels to Yiling to check upon the supervisory office still under her management. Wen Qing, who has developed a tentative friendship with Jiang Yanli, chances upon Jin Zixuan and beyond all odds, recognizes him as Jiang Yanli’s husband from before her capture. She promptly smuggles him into the supervisory office to treat him. His core is irreparably damaged by a poison made from resentful energy that Wen Rouhan has Wen Qing helping to develop. If left unchecked, it would continue to ravage through the meridians until the pain immobilizes the affected cultivator, leading to eventual death. To prevent this, Wen Qing surgically removes Jin Zixuan’s golden core.)

That’s where my subsequent timeline ends, but there are still ideas for this that I have. Because without Wei Wuxian, the solution for this timeline’s happy ending is far more complicated.

These new circumstances, however, lead to some pretty interesting dynamics that can be explored. My main idea obviously centres around Nie Huaisang, who with the loss of his brother is most certainly plotting the downfall of Wen Rouhan. But the most interesting dynamic I can think of would have to be between Meng Yao and Mo Xuanyu. Meng Yao, who did not stab Wen Rouhan and therefore was never acknowledged by Jin Guangshan. Meng Yao, who with Jin Guangshan dead, has no way to obtain that approval, and so therefore does not align his entire being with being the perfect son. And Mo Xuanyu, who without Wei Wuxian to invent demonic cultivation, might just end up as the founder in this timeline (because he’s pretty and tragic and I adore him).

Either way, the main rebellion would likely consist of Nie Huaisang, Meng Yao, Mo Xuanyu, (perhaps) Lan Wangji, Wen Qing, Wen Ning, Xiao Xingchen, Song Zichen, Jiang Yanli, and Jin Zixuan. (And if this lasts long enough, Jin Ling as well.) I say perhaps for Lan Wangji due to his injured leg, though he could still contribute utilizing musical cultivation.

Oh, and the Xuanwu of Slaughter is still an issue in this universe. Unless they can weaponize it against the Wen, which would be pretty cool.

(Wen Chao does in fact become the Wen’s very own version of Jin Guangshan, leaving illegitimate heirs all over the place.)

Of course, none of this is set in stone. If anyone wants to play around with this au, you’re totally free to do so however you’d like. I’m sharing this mostly in case anyone else finds it interesting, and because I’ll probably never actually write a fic for it. This mostly just started out as a brain teaser trying to figure out what would happen if Wei Wuxian wasn’t part of the plot, considering that although he did contribute quite a lot to the canon events, a lot of things were set in motion long before he was even born (like Jin Guangshan’s corruption and Wen Rouhan’s plans to conquer the cultivation world).