Shigaraki Enters The Hideout, Walking Right Up To The Bar And Sitting On A Stool Across From Kurogiri.

Shigaraki enters the hideout, walking right up to the bar and sitting on a stool across from Kurogiri.

“Kurogiri, I want a gamer girlfriend.” Shigaraki says, “I need your help.”

Kurogiri calmly sits down the glass he was cleaning, “Have you tried talking to a woman?”

Shigaraki shakes his head, “Not your advice— your help. And no! I have a better idea.”

Shigaraki stands on the roof of a tall building, carefully holding binoculars between his fingers. He peers down at the GameStop across the street. Kurogiri stands beside him.

“I’m choosing the first girl that walks out of that GameStop.” Shigaraki explains.

A mom and her children walk out of the GameStop, the kids all screeching and running around.

“I’m choosing the second girl that walks out of that GameStop.” Shigaraki corrects.

Hours pass and Shigaraki hasn’t moved from his spot where he surveils the GameStop building. Kurogiri had dozed off at some point and is lightly snoring.

“Kurogiri.” Shigaraki says, suddenly and sharply. Kurogiri jolts awake. “This is taking longer than expected. I haven’t seen any girls. Just a bunch of virgin plebs and Spinner.”

Kurogiri pauses to address the irony in that statement, then continues, “Perhaps you should consider a different method- like online dating?” Kurogiri asks.

“I’m banned on all those apps.” Shigaraki says.

Kurogiri tilts his head, “Why—“

“Shh!” Shigaraki says. “I think I see someone.”

You walk out of the GameStop holding packs of pokemon cards and a Shadow the Hedgehog plushy. You start to walk away, nearly tripping over the air. You mumble a slew of curses as you adjust your cat ear headband and keep walking.

Shigaraki places a hand over his chest, “Wow, she’s so cringe… She’s perfect.”

Kurogiri nods, “Very well. Go talk to her—“

“Talk to her??” Shigaraki asks. “Uh, no? I’m going to kidnap her, convince her to join the League, act cold, aloof, and disinterested until she discovers that on the inside I’m just a troubled soul with a bleeding heart and she falls in love with me. Duh! God, it’s like you’ve never read fanfiction before.”

Kurogiri sighs, “The fact that All For One doesn’t pay me for this is the worst crime he’s committed.”