my dead uncle’s house gleams like a sore bone
a neighbor’s dog could have brought in, slicked with saliva and dedication.
the more-chip-than-paint walls stand skinned by the storm
that sawed through this county no more than two half-hours ago.
my dead uncle adjusts his death into the still-dying/ still-living cells
that hum on inside him without understanding. parts of him glimmer,
still bright, his hair growing like something shocking
that doesn’t know its shock— the silent video of those years-ago fireworks
pasted to the limp tongue of an elderly VHS tape, its fire
broken, vivid but mute, the cheers I know are there stuck in the air—
like the dark sticks to the night— I can’t see either. all those blank
shouts careening through the screen without their bodies or mine. my dead uncle’s hair
grows down to his knees, no one whispers the secret of his new reality to his follicles
so they all just go on spinning straw-colored beer-calories
into gold. I am outside the house and its long sore silence
which bends the water off its arthritic boards like an old victory I never fought for.
he was not a good uncle. it is july or it was about an hour ago. here is my uncle’s house
I am outside of it, trying to think up something new to call the place that doesn’t belong
to anyone anymore except maybe to those blond locks buttered across the floor like light.
I stand under the gutter and hit it with a stick. old rain,
which sat still long enough to lose its name, hits me cold.
I say hello, think about the hurt of throats in the old video from the picnic on the 4th,
how happy everything must be from behind the camera lens. my uncle doesn’t know he’s dead
like the cold in the gutter doesn’t know its name isn’t thunder any longer.
- c. essington
- c. essington
color palettes
- c. essington
Hi! Back! Moving over from Twitter. Here’s a recent short story; more to come.
This is about wishing you could eat paint and other things you shouldn’t want.
maybe this has been one of those nights that I’ll come back to later, to outline in crayon and label softly, drawing looks out from the eyes like water from a well. well,
all days have sore ribs, burnt nerves, places which go tender under threat but this one feels like something particularly loose and abused enough already, something which will just go to heaven if it’s ever touched again.
there is something memorable about hours way too made of blood to ever bleed.
it’s not going to hurt to put fingers on this: the dim around the pizza box around the carpet around the working anatomies around the exactly seven kidneys.
it’s not going to hurt it’s just going to all come back in through the palm, one pressure at a time, working just like the un-music a heart makes to keep a head.
- c. essington
the sky unclenches a mouth or two — water trips out of the night with the same sort of muscle your mother unbuckled to drop the bread knife on the tile. it all goes streaking past the long grey howl of window.
tonight, the house is a sound, the edges where the rain dies into water. the roof is a flat noise painted awake by a thousand needle-wide of shots in the dark.
the shrapnel catches in the ears, stays to make a soreness, and replicates a cloud’s shaking by jostling an eardrum.
no wounds wake up from dreams to populate your skin. the dog is scared like the world’s already been done and undone at least seven times
and it has but tonight this house is a sound and the tips of bodies shaking here only mean that it is being heard and there is an architecture to the thunder.
- c. essington
Those were people. They were targeted for belonging to the LGBTQ community. This was an attack on LGBTQ people, not an attack on “anyone trying to have a night out” or “anyone who’s offended by the shooting”.
Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34.
Stanley Almodovar III, 23.
Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo, 20.
Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22.
Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36.
Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22.
Luis S. Vielma, 22.
Kimberly Morris, 37.
Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, 30.
Darryl Roman Burt II, 29.
Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32.
Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21.
Anthony Luis Laureanodisla, 25.
Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, 35.
Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez, 50.
Amanda Alvear, 25.
Martin Benitez Torres, 33.
Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37.
Mercedez Marisol Flores, 26.
Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35.
Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25.
Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez, 31.
Oscar A. Aracena-Montero, 26.
Enrique L. Rios, Jr., 25 years old.
Miguel Angel Honorato, 30 years old.
Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40 years old.
Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32 years old
Jason Benjamin Josaphat, 19 years old
Cory James Connell, 21 years old
Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37 years old
Luis Daniel Conde, 39 years old
Shane Evan Tomlinson, 33 years old
Juan Chevez-Martinez, 25 years old
Jerald Arthur Wright, 31
Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25
Tevin Eugene Crosby, 25
Jonathan Antonio Camuy Vega, 24
Jean C. Nives Rodriguez, 27
Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33
Brenda Lee Marquez McCool, 49
Yilmary Rodriguez Sulivan, 24
Christopher Andrew Leinonen, 32
Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28
Frank Hernandez, 27
Paul Terrell Henry, 41
You will not be forgotten.
Advice for someone wanting to get published?
Okay, here are my top 3 tips based purely on my experience on both the submitting and accepting/ rejecting side of publications.
1. Proofread - nothing sets your piece back more if it’s on the fence of being accepted than grammatical errors that are easy to remedy.
2. Research publications before submitting - Databases for publishers like the one offered by Poets and writer’s (http://www.pw.org/literary_magazines) are really helpful for finding publications that may be looking for your style/ genre of writing.
3. Look for small, maybe even local publishers at first - They are more likely to have the time to really look at your work if you’re submitting for the first time and are much more likely, if they give you a rejection letter, to reject with reasons saying why and explaining what they also may have liked in the piece.
*Also know that rejection happens to everyone!! Keep writing and trying and researching. Sometimes thorough and kind rejection letters are even more helpful in the long-run than acceptance letters that tell you nothing of why you were accepted.
I hope this helps!
Please feel free to send in any more college/ kenyon/ writing/ publishing questions! I have a lot of time today.
one gallon of wind skims over us, drying sharply in our nerves like some font set too large for us to read— I think I can make out the four-way stop of a “t” unfolding its cold phoneme across my chest.
- c. essington
I really like the thought that they're still out there fishing in 1928.
For any newcomers, these are a few more photos of my great grandfather Axel's fishing trip out west.
The Kiss - c. essington (After Gustav Klimt)
someone spent too much time on something.
Queer Writer, Repd by Janklow & Nesbit, 2020 Center for Fiction Fellow, Brooklyn
202 posts