the blue house catches on fire and passes it on like a secret, making lips out of wind, whispering its neighbor to charcoal.
in the basement of the house that heard and caught, a boy is already lighting something of his own and signing it off in kerosene as if that clear, chemical wash of to-be light is exactly what letters are made of.
he goes up to his bedroom on the third floor to wait for the rise. the ceiling caves in as the carpet starts to fester with heat. the room is biting down, rafters and floorboards chew in towards heartbeats. the boy forgets his name, tries to say it to himself, but without air to inhale, the sounds he keeps his brain in feels too see-through to say.
he stands up, waiting, his biology screams. he manages to squeeze out a sentence, one sentence to himself once he figures that two fires are at work. it’s a little question, and it happens over and over running over tongue it until it smokes, like a match that goes too black to light. he asks: “which one, which one, which one?”
- C. Essington
she’s small and made of sodium
(just lil new art o mine)
the first anatomically realistic drawing of a human heart meant that someone had to stop living and then, before they were set in the ground or burnt to ash for a sort of kept loss, someone else had to raise a hand, softly, and say
“wait.”
- c. essington
big white hair as wide as the night, open with stars, novas of tangled ends, suns streaked over bangs until fire looks like a plaything next to her eyes, half- parted, so she can only see a pink strip of you and nothing else. the world opens on her like she’s the hinge of a pocket knife, blade-bright heart, saw-toothing the morning. eat your soft- boiled egg and turn in your wolf for a calmer way of breathing. Molars on a yolk that makes the plate so yellow that you don’t believe in yellow any longer. that’s how big that hair is.
- C. Essington
tiny painting for a small day/
it’s not sunday but it felt like one because
work is sloww
but what if it were
nice/ honeyed/ came with its own heart/ already done up in light blue muslin and set to music, wait, the right music.
and what if it
didn’t hurt (too much)/ came soft in places like the sky comes whole/ and looked like cream and felt like it too and worked like it too.
and what if
a pulse doesn’t have to feel like a punchline that keeps getting told without a joke to explain it/ (get it, get it, get it)/ and a life doesn’t have to feel like a pressure/ and your head doesn’t always have to be the thing that starts you and ends you and is you.
- c. essington
I want to do a thing where people can send me asks of five objects someone is carrying with them, a little personal inventory, and I’ll write a little flash fiction piece developing a person around the things.
Please maybe?
I wake up in my wetsuit as the dark wakes up in its cold— some things are like this, as unavoidable as a body swept across a brain.
I start early and hungry, all my cells feeling new and round but crushed: the shapes a church bell makes when it halves the air.
the pond sits in the morning like an ache pooling across an old joint, a leg unbends, the water throws one sore and jagged gleam up the hill side.
I follow the path of glow down to where it throbs, the leaf-patched shoreline gone blue like snow in a long evening or veins trailing home.
it’s steep, the oxygen tank is heavy with metal and wind pressed on itself like a dried flower compacted to paper. I tap the tank it rings its dull voice, full of pages where my breath will write me down.
I step in and secure the mask to my mouth, the light kiss of other air bleeds in and I walk until the ground is gone and the water asks for my body to melt into strokes; a church bell.
the middle is not far and I get there, cold and like the light: tracing the air for home. the below is dark. the above only has its one moon.
the dive involves going headfirst, breathing. the black is around me like an eyelid closing, I turn on a flashlight, scrape the dreamed landscape for an iris and pupil.
I rove and slip and feel my skin starting to become the same cold as the cold. I hug my name into my ribs and try to keep my body inside sensation.
and then I catch it, the white gathered haze of my flashlight wakes up across the desk chair which, last week, you sunk to the bottom with rocks tied to its legs. you’ve always been like that— lovely, impossible, inexplicable— I sit and read the morning’s paper as it flowers out to snow inside the numb water; my body does the same.
- c.essington
when Ahmed stopped being able to press on the morning, to work the light into a way of seeing so he could do something drastic, like make it down the hallway, he took a moment to donate his whole body back to himself.
he wrenched marrow and incisors and the corners of his dog-eared heartbeats (which he had been saving to give to someone else) out of the intention of saving, and he put them back in his own chest and let them howl there.
when he realized that all this felt like stealing, he understood how far from his own lungs he must have been breathing.
- C. Essington
I’m teaching this workshop with another published and accomplished author! We aim to teach what high school and most college students do not learn about writing and publishing their own work.
We’re excited to announce that Siblíní is hosting a Summer Writing Workshop in Grand Rapids, Michigan over the month of July!
We’re currently accepting applications from high school and college-age students who are interested in learning more about creative writing and publication opportunities. For more information and to apply, please visit our website.
http://www.siblinijournal.com/#!writing-workshop/o95nw
If able, any reblogging of this opportunity would be immensely appreciated!
a cream-with-mushrooms color; ducked, formless, curtaining an animal that isn’t too much more than a way of moving cold blood in and out of brain. the whole little inch hints at mud and comfort and the paper-thick line between guts and ground.
- c. essington
Queer Writer, Repd by Janklow & Nesbit, 2020 Center for Fiction Fellow, Brooklyn
202 posts