I Swear Colin Is Just Speed Running Jon's Arc From Magnus Archives. In Less Then A Season He's Gone From

"we need less sanitized queer stories" yall keep saying fucking she-ra romanticizes abuse. you couldnt possibly handle less sanitized queer stories

Sorry for getting physically ill over insane and pathetic queer men it will be happening so many more times

Hear me out. Somewhere Else but it's medieval england with a certain guy

This is honest to god the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life

my favorite somewhat underrated jarchivist moments

“a COMPLAINT? i could just as easily COMPLAIN about her WASTING MY TIME”

“before i address the central point of this statement, namely the question of…. whether the sky can eat people .”

melanie: “i should have known this was a COMPLETE waste of my time” jon: “probably 🙄”

“you don’t seem like you’re in your fifties?? or- or burnt to a crisp”

“you’re serious? you’re going on a date with… the dullard of skull mountain just so you have an excuse to eat a shopska salad?”

“another startling insight from the piercing investigative mind of georgie barker”

“WHAT is my metaphorical pit???”

melanie: “i mean it’s not like you have any reason to kill me” jon: noncommittal sound

martin: “melanie seems okay but i get the feeling she’s planning something?” jon: “i- i got that feeling. Too.”

“so. kidnapped. Again.”

“like colors, but if colors hated me. got it. christ i need a cigarette.”

“MARTIN. STOP trying to TOUCH the PLASTIC EXPLOSIVE. just PUT YOUR HANDS in YOUR POCKETS or SOMETHING-”

basira: “so would you say this was supposed to be churchill or alfred hitchcock?” jon: “jowls like that, could be either”

“coma! great! let’s rearrange his office! sleeping people don’t need. pens!”

“police brutality lawsuit? :)”

[picture of edwardian offense] “I what?”

daisy: “it’s a joke, jon.” jon: “oh! hAha! yes.”

“i mean you’re not suggesting that santa works for the people’s church..”

long-suffering sigh “fuck.”

“i’m starting to feel a little. Self Conscious being a post apocalyptic google !”

martin: “did it stir any feeling in you?” jon: “Yes! Nausea! Because of the Horrible Things In It!”

“Yes the Colossal Web stretching down into an Endless Pit is a Significant improvement😑”

“‘free will’ she says, as we stand in the middle of her FUCKING WEB”

this blog hates donald trump

Look how many people hate him. I’m pretty damn happy about that 😁😁😁😁😁😁

funniest person ever im telling you

🐈‍⬛📦