Cinder-stella - Vibin’

Glowing beast

love this!

You’re uncomfortable being by yourself, and it’s ruining your life.

We’re all human beings, and it’s in our nature to crave interaction. To yearn for hour-long talks and constant messages. And this is normal, it’s perfectly fine. We all experience it. 

Problem comes when it reaches a point where you can’t survive without it. When your social media becomes the centre of your life, and you can't stop checking/refreshing/posting in hopes of getting some more of that sweet, fresh interaction. When you can’t sit for 5 minutes without needing to talk to someone.

You’re uncomfortable with being by yourself. Don’t get it? Let me rephrase. You are not able to sit in your own mind and be content. You can’t be alone with your thoughts, and this trouble comes when all your thoughts are inherently negative. When all your thoughts are about how you look, all alone and pathetic. About your appearance or something embarrassing that made you feel bad.

“Aeryne— how do I combat that?”

Well…

Be okay with being boring. Be okay with your thoughts going to “what am I going to have for lunch” or “that movie I watched was really interesting, let’s think about a scene I liked” Be okay with your thoughts being absolutely mundane.

Start observing. I’m sure you’ve seen babies or little children. They give you that thousand yard stare sometimes, because they’re always observing. We live in a life of stimulation, that doesn’t need to be your phone or your social media. Look at the colour of that wall, guess how fast that car is going. Fill up your time with some good old observations.

Get used to the fact that being alone is okay. And that no one else’s thoughts should affect yours. If someone thinks sitting alone = pathetic, loner, disgusting, I think they’re in for a rude awakening that life isn’t a 2005 coming of age movie. 

Now that we’ve changed your mentality a little, let me talk about the beauty of being solitary. The way of being alone.

Being alone, and having “me” time is so wonderful. God- being able to think about myself, and only myself? Not worrying about how my replies sound to others? My tones in speech? Glorious. When you’re alone, you have no one else to appease or listen to. Only yourself, so listen.

Woah- did you realise that? You can actually hear your thoughts. In this world of action, my mind is detached from all that hustle and bustle. There’s no one else’s thoughts or words filling up my logical reasoning. Just my own. 

Treasure your time with yourself. Realise what I’ve told you, apply it and you’re going to be comfortable with being by yourself. Here’s a personal challenge, if you can:

—Turn off all your notifications for an hour.

—Observe your surroundings.

—Listen to the thoughts, appreciate them.

thank you for listening, sweet ones.

xoxo,

Saint Aeryne 

PAINSLUT TOJI, MAYBE???!!! 18+ NSFW

(edited, enjoy!)

You were lying in bed, reading a book, when Toji finally came home. The door creaked open and he stepped inside, sluggish and quiet.

“I’m back,” he grunted, not even glancing your way before heading straight into the bathroom.

You raised an eyebrow, eyes drifting to the closed door. He didn’t look hurt—just... drained. You waited, listening to the sound of the shower starting up, then the low sigh that followed.

When he finally came out, he was toweling off his hair, another towel hanging low on his hips. His muscles flexed with each swipe, water still dripping down his chest. You let your eyes linger for a second too long before smirking.

“How was your day, baby?” you asked, setting your book aside.

“Absolute shit,” he muttered, walking over and flopping down face-first onto the bed “That guy’s gonna kill me.”

You shifted to face him. “Who?”

“My new training partner.” His voice was muffled by the pillow.

You nudged his shoulder playfully. “Aren’t you supposed to be super strong? Don’t tell me you’re getting soft.”

“Gimme a break,” he grumbled, not even bothering to lift his head.

You smiled and shifted over to straddle his hips, hands starting to knead the tension in his back.

He let out a long, low groan. “Yeah, that’s good,” he mumbled.

You kept working on him, thumbs digging into the spots that felt the most tense, feeling the stress slowly melt out of him. He made little grunts and sighs, equal parts pain and relief.

“You enjoying this?” you asked, leaning forward a little, lips brushing his ear.

“Fuck yes,” he breathed. “Don’t stop.”

You shifted again, your weight pressing into his lower back.

“Where you goin’, baby?” he murmured, lifting his head a fraction.

“God forbid a girl gets tired,” you said, brushing your hair out of your face. “Flip over.”

He let out a low groan and rolled onto his back, eyes half-lidded, body spent. You straddled his hips, dragging your fingers down his chest slowly. He shivered under your touch, his hands moving lazily to your thighs.

You started rolling your hips against him, just a little. Just enough.

“Don’t start this,” he muttered, voice tight. “I’m serious—I’m beat.”

You tilted your head, feigning innocence. “What d’you mean?”

Toji met your gaze, jaw clenched, clearly fighting the urge to move. “You know what.”

“Too tired to fuck me?” you teased, leaning in to kiss his jaw.

“I wanna,” he admitted, “but my body’s not keeping up right now.”

“That’s fine,” you whispered, grabbing his wrists and pinning them above his head.

“You don’t have to do anything.”

Toji groaned, head pressing back into the pillow.

He was used to being in control, used to flipping you over and fucking you until you couldn’t breathe. So being under you like this—unable to do anything but feel—was killing him in the best way.

“You just can’t wait, huh?” he muttered, his breath catching as your hips rocked again, slow and deliberate.

“Do you not want this?” you asked, peppering soft kisses along his neck.

“You know I do,” he breathed, eyelids fluttering shut. “But you’re playing dirty.”

You grinned, sliding your hand down his stomach, undoing the towel. His cock sprang free, already thick and hard, twitching under your touch. You wrapped your fingers around it, stroking slowly from base to tip, teasing the sensitive underside with your thumb. Toji bit his lip hard, holding back the shiver that racked his body.

You kissed your way down his chest, trailing lower until your breath fanned over his tip. He sucked in a sharp breath, and you smiled against his skin before pressing a kiss to the base of his cock.

“God, this is embarrassing,” he muttered through clenched teeth.

You tried not to laugh. “You look pretty good from down here,” you said, licking a slow stripe up his shaft.

He twitched and flinched as the muscles in his thighs tensed beneath your palms.

Then you took him into your mouth—slow, steady, letting him stretch your lips, the tip brushing the back of your throat. His fingers tightly clenched the sheets, his breath stuttering as he groaned low in his chest.

“Mmf… shit,” he hissed.

You came up for air, swirling your tongue around the tip, stroking the rest with your hand. You moaned around him, your own arousal pulsing between your thighs. You let his cock fall from your mouth with a soft pop and climbed back on top, straddling him once again. He looked up at you, completely dazed.

You didn’t give him time to speak. You peeled off your nightgown, pulled your panties to the side, and slowly slid his cock through your folds, spreading your wetness along his length.

His eyes locked on your pussy as you teased him. He let out a tiny, almost pitiful whimper.

“You’re so wet for me, baby,” he muttered, voice wrecked.

“Yeah? You want me to ride you?” you asked, placing his tip at your entrance and rocking your hips.

“Fucking get it over with—oh my god—” he groaned as you sank down onto him.

His eyes rolled back, head dropping to the mattress. You never thought you’d hear Toji whine, but here he was—completely undone under you.

You started slow at first, savoring the stretch, but you couldn’t help it—you needed more. You leaned forward, planting your hands on his chest for leverage and began slamming your hips down. The headboard banged softly against the wall in time with your movements.

“Holy shit, baby, fuck,” Toji moaned, his hands flying to your ankles, gripping hard like he was grounding himself.

“You see what you do to me, huh?” you whispered, grabbing a fistful of his hair and tugging just enough to make him look.

He barely opened his eyes, but when he did—his gaze locked onto the sight of your pussy swallowing his cock—and he let out a broken sound.

“Uhuh… just like that—fuck.”

His moans turned desperate, and you could feel yourself getting close. You clenched around him, his cock twitching inside you.

Your legs were shaking, and you could feel how soaked you were, the wet sounds between you two getting louder with every bounce. Toji's head was thrown back, mouth open, eyes fluttering as he gripped your ankles like they were the only thing keeping him from completely losing it.

“Fuck, baby—you’re gonna make me come,” he rasped, voice hoarse.

You leaned forward, your hands flat on his chest, hair sticking to your neck. “Yeah? You gonna come already, big guy?” you teased, breath hitching as you ground down on him slow and deep.

He let out a choked laugh, cut short by a groan. “Keep talking shit—see what happens when I can move again.”

You smirked. “You’re threatening me? Cute.”

You rolled your hips with purpose now, chasing that high you could feel tightening in your gut. All it took was feeling his cock throb inside you. Your body trembled, your moans falling out unfiltered as you clenched around him, eyes squeezing shut.

Toji’s jaw clenched as he tried to hold on, but the heat of your orgasm, the feel of your slick walls gripping him—it was too much. Toji swore under his breath, his cock pulsed as he spilled deep inside you, hips jerking up helplessly with each twitch.

“Fuuuck—baby, fuck,” he groaned, his head thrown back.

You slumped forward, both of you panting like you just ran a marathon.

A few seconds passed before Toji muttered, “I can’t believe you fucking did that to me.”

You snorted, brushing your fingers through his sweaty hair. “You loved it.”

He grumbled something into your chest, arms lazily wrapping around your back.

“You’re not gonna move, are you?” you asked after a beat, still on top of him.

“Nope,” he said flatly. “This is my life now.”

You laughed softly, “You’re such a mess.”

“Yeah, whatever,” he murmured, already half asleep.

Today’s Mood board

Our second Eqqus album, Equus Caballus, is coming out Tuesday next week on May 6th 🐎 Cover: Donna Ferrato

Sanctuary w/ Suguru Geto 18+ NSFW

(angst, toxic, cult AU)

You didn’t go looking for salvation.

You went because you were tired of being good.

They told you stories about Suguru being a traitor. A murderer. A cult leader. But they never told you how hard it was to live in a world that continuously broke people like you down and called it order.

You tracked him down, not for answers but for the ache beneath your ribs. The one you felt when you saw the exhaustion in his eyes before anyone called treason. When you heard the grief in his silence long before he walked away.

The temple was quiet. Not eerie but reverent. The open-air walls, the incense smoke hanging low, the wooden floors faded by bare feet—There were no curses there. No guards. Just a strange sense of peace that unnerved you more than violence ever could.

He was there, sitting cross-legged on a mat. Shirtless and calm as though he’d been waiting. His hair spilled down like he forgot what time meant. He looked exactly how you feared he would: beautiful in the way that wreckage sometimes was.

A single incense stick burned between his fingers, smoke curling lazily around his wrist.

“You made it,” he spoke, as if it was a reunion. Like it was fate.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” You crossed your arms.

He smiled—tired, not triumphant. “Still sharp, I see.”

~~~

You meant to stay for an hour but you end up staying longer than you expected.

The others didn’t ask questions. They prayed, they smiled, they listened. It was strange, like a family built out of shared delusion and broken hearts.

You slept near the exit, but you watched him through the dark.

He never reached for you. He waited. He watched you like a mirror he was trying not to break. He never touched you. Never told you what to believe. But when he spoke, your throat tightened.

“The system you loved was never meant to love you back.”

You hated that you believed him.

II

It wasn’t love. Not yet atleast.

It was something else. Hunger. Not for his body but for something deeper—something ancient, electric. Something only he seemed to speak aloud. The truth.

You sat in on his sermons and listened to the way he told the others that they were enough. That they deserved rest and that they didn’t have to be used as weapons. You hated that. How deeply it resonated.

~~~

You found him lighting incense in the main hall at night. His sleeves were rolled up. His hands were steady.

You knew that you shouldn’t have been there but you stepped closer.

“Why this? Why them?” you asked, voice brittle. “You could’ve burned the whole thing down.”

He doesn’t look up.

“Because fire just kills. I wanted to make something… beautiful. Even if it’s wrong.”

You say nothing in response. You felt his words settle in your ribs like smoke.

And when he finally turned to you, the moment stretched—fragile and sharp. Your hands brushed briefly. Maybe it was accidental. Maybe It wasn’t. But neither of you pulled away.

~~~

It became a ritual.

You sought him out like your body had forgotten how to resist.

And he gave you nothing but presence. He watched. He waited. He didn’t demand a thing—he just was. And somehow, that was worse than if he’d begged.

You were afraid of what you were starting to crave.

The next day, he knelt in the prayer hall, offering silence to the gods he no longer believed in. You stood beside him, eyes half-closed, the scent of sandalwood threading through the air like static.

You thought about leaving every morning. You never do.

You kept telling yourself it’s because you’re studying him. Measuring the depth of the fall.

But the truth was, you were already in it.

III

You opened his door without knocking.

He was standing shirtless at the window, incense trailing from the corner of the room, the curtain open to the moonlight and the pool below. The air was heavy, sweet, aching.

“I need you to stop looking at me like that,” you whispered.

“Like what?” he murmured, voice rough.

“Like I’m something you can keep.”

He moved closer. Didn’t try to touch you. Just looked. And you hated how much you wanted it—his hands, his voice, the heat in his gaze that made your knees weak.

“Then tell me to stop,” he said.

And maybe you could’ve. If he didn’t look so wrecked beneath the calm. If your body didn’t betray you the second his fingers ghosted up your spine.

“You think I don’t know what I am?” he whispered. “You think I don’t hate it?”

You pressed your palm to his chest. His heart was beating like a war drum beneath your hand.

“Then touch me like it means something.”

He was on you like a man starved, mouth crashing into yours, fingers digging into your hips. The kiss was messy and desperate. But it still held some softness, as if he was trying not to lose control.

He undressed you slowly. Like he was memorizing the shape of you in case this really was the last time.

His mouth found your neck, your collarbone, the soft skin under your ribs. Everywhere but where you ached. He made sure you asked. Not to be cruel, but because he needed to hear it.

“Say it,” he whispered, breath ragged.

“I want you,” you choked out. “I want you even if I shouldn’t.”

He continued downwards, mouth finding between your legs, and licked like he was making a vow. His tongue moved slow, groaning into you like tasting you was a blessing. You fisted his hair, thighs trembling, the pleasure crawling up your spine like a confession.

“Suguru—don’t stop—please—”

“Say my name again,” he demanded, voice raw. “Say it like you need me.”

“Suguru,” you whimpered, coming apart in his mouth, legs tightening around his head.

He climbed over you, sweat-slicked and hard, eyes black with need. You reached down, wrapped your fingers around his cock and guided him in.

He slid into you like he was claiming something sacred. One hand braced beside your head, the other tangled in your hair.

It wasn’t rough—but it wasn’t gentle either. There was a fever to it. A silent plea in every thrust.

“You hate me,” he gasped, forehead pressed to yours.

“I do,” you breathed, tears prickling your eyes. “But I love you more.”

He groaned, hips stuttering, forehead still pressed to yours. The bed creaked under you both as he thrusted, deep and relentless, grinding in so your bodies met again and again.

Your nails dug into his back as your thighs locked around him. You came undone first with a breathy moan and your body arched into him. He followed shortly after, with your name in his mouth like it was the last prayer he’d ever say.

After, he kissed your knuckles like an apology. Like a farewell.

“I don’t deserve you,” he stated softly, voice cracking.

“No,” you whispered. “But I still want you to try.”

~~~

Author’s note: this song was stuck in my head for so long and I immediately had to write a fanfic with the same vibe (i know its about cheating but wtv lol) hope yall enjoyed! <3

i desperately need you to take a minute to look at this fucking dog.,, lufy is looking for his forever home

the backrooms with cute cats roaming around? hell yeah

Are you coming with?