The Real Reason Howl Kept His Castle Moving Was Tax Evasion

Can I hire them for when I need blood drawn? I'm not nervous or scared to get it down but I still want this service please I will give you all my money, hell take my house! Just please I want this so fucking bad😂

They’re distracting a nervous dog during a blood draw.

"maybe the problem is you" oh the problem is definitely me, next question

This is how I feel when I tell someone I wake up at 4:30 to run for an hour. Thank god I work third shift (I hate it).

jason: i think we should get a divorce

steph: what are you doing?

jason: just practicing

steph: why are you already planning your hypothetical divorce?

jason: i don't know. i'm getting old, i think i'm having a mid-life crisis

steph: you don't even have a girlfriend

jason: hypothetically divorce me

steph: okay, then i'm hypothetically taking half your assets

jason: well, you didn't sign the hypothetical prenup

jason, to duke: it's called a prenup, right?

duke: yeah, it's a prenup, and you DID hypothetically sign one

steph: who the fuck is this guy?

duke: i'm his hypothetical lawyer in this divorce case

steph: well, then, i'm taking the hypothetical kids

steph, to tim: right? we can get those, right?

tim: yes, we can definitely get the hypothetical kids, don't worry about it

jason: who the fuck is this hypothetical fucking idiot? a hella fucking nerd idiot

tim: wow, that is a lot of hypothetical insults. i need to keep these on for continuity because i look like the other lawyer

steph: this is MY hypothetical lawyer, and we have been hypothetically sleeping with each other

jason: how could you hypothetically do this to me?!

steph: because you hypothetically are an alcoholic!

tim: i’m a seventeen year old CEO of course i do drugs sometimes

bruce: tim i cannot describe how disappointed—

alfred: very hypocritical of you, master bruce. considering at 17 you and that harvey dent were running lines at that boarding school when you thought i wouldn’t find out

bruce: … carry on then…

Been on motorcycle tiktok… thinking about these two f-ing around on their motorcycles…

—

Duke: There’s a cop

Jason: Just drive away it’s fine

Duke: No s*** I’m already on the other side of the city

—

Bruce: We’re on the same side of the police, even if they’re corrupt we’re all for justice

Duke, a Robin during the Robin War, a motorcyclist, and a black teenager: Uh huh. Of course

—

Dick: There’s a motorcyclist going 200 in Crime Alley

Jason: Damn, that’s me

Dick: Sick, do a wheelie

HE DID.

Most annoying thing about tourists especially us Americans like keep fucking moving please

tourists need to be fucking mindful of where they are because god fucking damn it you cannot abruptly stop in the middle of the fucking sidewalk just to take a pic of a statue or whatever. you can't make people wait in line for ten minutes just because you want a drink the way they do it in your country even if they keep telling you that it's not possible because they don't have the ingredients etc. jesus fucking christ.