I Have The Most Vivid Crack-semicrack Idea About Tim Drake, But Am Having Trouble Putting It Into Words

damned if you’re employed damned if you’re not

If you're the OP of A Bowl of Saiki K. Short Fics on ao3, just know that the asshole who stole some of my shit, FlowerP0t, stole your work too.

Please reblog, let's find op!

Please also reblog the post on my stolen fics

What to do when you leave the League of Assassins?

You go to Red Robin.

So let's say that Ra's lost a significant portion of his organization not just because Tim blew up his bases, but also because quite a few of those survivors decided to defect and follow Tim instead.

Tim is initially unsure about what to do with several hundred escapees from a cult but eventually figures things out.

His first step? He sends his ninja to be recruited by Jason.

Does Jason know that a significant portion of his goons are defects from the LOA? No, not for sure. He's absolutely suspicious but he cannot confirm.

Does Jason know that Tim sent the ninja? Not at all. He suspects they're from Talia and the ninja do nothing to disabuse him of that belief. Their loyalty is towards Tim after all.

Does Jason send them away? No, he's not about to let a bunch of sketchy ninja run loose in Gotham. Plus, the more skilled help he has, the more of a pain in the side he can be towards the Black Mask and the more territory he can hold.

Is Tim going to tell Jason? No, no he is not.

Tim, in the meantime, is busy making them new IDs since all of them are undocumented, ensuring they have regular paychecks on top of what Jason pays them, PTO, and health insurance. The PTO earns Tim their undying loyalty. He also recommends that they look into more sedate hobbies when they have the time and continue or begin their schooling. A significant number of them take up knitting and crocheting.

As a result, Tim knows what's going on in Jason's organization at any given time. The ninja are getting appropriate exercise and being acclimated to a relatively normal life. And when they're ready for something slower than Jason's reinvention of the mafia/mob, Tim is ready to help them on their next stage in reclaiming their life.

I just think physical affection would fix me

I am crying laughing oh my god not what I was expecting to read but goddamn do I love it. She knows what she should've done and I can't! I love this

Old as shit skinny white woman in bed hooked up to 200 tubes and machines surrounded by her crying family, she looks up towards the eldest daughter and raises her frail hand. Everyone stops, listening raptly. She coughs twice and then clears her throat, and beckons the daughter closer. ‘i should’ve eaten her pussy. I should’ve rawed that roast beast like a rabid dog on its last legs. I would’ve made her bleed you know. She would’ve thought she came so hard that her period started. The squirt would’ve drowned me, but I’d swallow every last drop of rna so I could sequence it for the years to come. They’d have called me the krypt keeper. I would’ve chewed so hard her gynecologist would’ve woke up in the middle of the night sweating like a stuck pig. But I didn’t. That’s why I’m surrounded by you fucking bozos.’ With her final words she breaths her agonol breath and falls backwards before flatlining, leaving her family in the quiet hospice room stunned and teary eyed in the wake of her passing.

Can I hire them for when I need blood drawn? I'm not nervous or scared to get it down but I still want this service please I will give you all my money, hell take my house! Just please I want this so fucking bad😂

They’re distracting a nervous dog during a blood draw.

Writing batman fanfiction is so hard bc I always refer to him as "the furry" and I just forget all other ways I can describe him

Damian standing outside of the police precinct because Jason (notorious crime lord) got caught for busting an illegal poaching and harvesting scheme

Damian: free my man he ain’t do anything wrong

Commissioner Gordon: he cut off their hands-

Damian, slowly pulling a batarang out of his pocket: I said, free my man. He ain’t do anything wrong.

Au where Bruce doesn't adopt Jason (because it never crosses his mind) but, after getting away with stealing Batman's tires and hitting him with a tire iron, Jason comes to the conclusion that B ain't shit and he can absolutely do more petty theft and mild inconveniences.

Batmobile is left unattended? The tires are gone. Batman drops a batarang/grapple gun? That's Jason's now. Batman tries to talk Jason into giving his stuff back? He clearly doesn't have them, you're crazy Bruce (the collection is visibly right behind him, he is literally holding a batarang as he says this).

Bruce tried to complain about it to Dick but he laughed so hard, he gave up. Dick thinks Jason is hilarious and after making sure he isn't dangerous helps him get into the manor. (Alfred won't say it out loud but he also clearly finds the kid funny so he let it happen)

Bruce eventually has a thought of "oh He's just looking for a family! I should adopt him!" And asks Jason if he wants to be officially adopted. Jay laughs in his face and throws a pillow at him. Bruce realises he was wrong.

He doesn't die, just goes out of town for a month or two to visit a friend and B immediately goes "all of my stuff is here wtf where'd Jay go?" and after looking around gotham he comes to the conclusion that he's dead. He tells Dick and Alfred that Jason died in an 'I'm absolutely certain' way so they assumed he double checked and didn't just overreact to a few weeks of absence.

Everyone was shocked next time he came to the manor (including Jason because he didn't think they'd care that much and didn't realize that B would assume he was dead) and it's just

"Jason?!? I thought you died!?"

"I was literally just at Roy's house?? Did you not think to check before assuming I died???"

Everyone is incredibly happy, Jason is just confused (and kind of flattered)

The other kids still show up, Tim came over to be B's fill in for Jason like a week before he came back and became a hero a few months after Jay came back. (They don't fight in this au because Jay didn't consider himself Bruce's son and neither of them were robin)

Damian is very concerned about the random dude that drops in and out of the manor (stealing random shit every time, from mugs and snacks to an entire TV) but B and Dick just go "nah he's basically family dw" like no that's our random theif.

Do you see my vision? I've been thinking about it for like an hour and finally decided to just post it. If this is a thing or if someone writes a fanfic or smth pls show me