"-i Am A Monster

Thinking a lot about Kaido today and his whole perspective about lying/telling the truth when it comes to your loved ones.

It's interesting to me that Kaido always seems to be the first to freak out in the scenarios in which they all find out that Saiki is a psychic, or whenever they're close to finding out (actually pretty similar to his reaction to finding out Kuboyasu used to be a delinquent too). There's an obvious element to it of him feeling like he's been deceived right away even if he can rationalize it eventually and realize that maybe it doesn't really matter.

The thing is he... isn't the most honest person out there either. There's his whole deal with his chuunibyou complex, for one, though like others have pointed out, in a way that's more true to who he is than –and this is what I was specifically thinking about– how he seems to present himself to his mother.

It's not that everything Kaido's mother thinks about him is completely wrong. People have different aspects to them and the vision she has of a Shun that can introduce himself easyly to people, who's sweet and obedient isn't necessarily all that wrong.

He seems to behave with his siblings in the same way he does with his friends but not with his mom. It stands out to me that she thanked Nendo and Saiki for being his friends because he's "shy", when we've seen him being everything but that. But isn't it true anyway? His whole act seems to give him the confidence to actually call attention and interact with people, but Saiki and Nendo seems to be his first friends in... well, who knows, maybe ever? (Not counting Raiden since he was more of like an older student he admired rather than a friend, I take it).

In the end both sides of who he is are partially true to who he is, but I think his more extravagant behavior is definitely him finding in it a way in which he can fit in and be himself, so it rings more true. He wants to be someone special, who belongs, someone who's well liked and brave and powerful. And in a way it works! Fake it til you make it. While he's not becoming an overpowered guy from another universe fighting against evil anytime soon, he does find courage in his act, and he ends up surrounded by people who might think he's being silly but they aren't bullying him because of his dramatics. He has a place there in which he can just be without any expectations.

He clearly does love his mom and his mom loves him, but the dynamic there is different. With the way he plays up the "polite boy who can't do no wrong" act around her and how she uses terms of such endearment with him, it feels more... contained. Kaido knows his mom expects a certain behavior from him and he wants to please her. Everything he does to indulge himself is in secrecy (again, his whole act) and it doesn't interfere with what his mom expects from him so most of the time that's not a problem, he can study at home and go to cram school and do what she expects him to do without it clashing with who he is outside of that.

But he can't be honest with what he wants or who he wants to be because he knows she won't approve. He braces himself when she starts talking to Nendo and Saiki because he already knew she wouldn't like them not being studious (makes me wonder if he ever did have a friend before and she didn't approve. If so, I imagine they weren't close enough for him to protest the loss like with these two).

Kaido does seem to be smart, not top of the class smart but it's stated he usually does get good grades since he has good options to get into university and his overall ranking is good. But he doesn't really seem to have any particular passion for his studies, that's something his mom wants for him. He doesn't seem to hate it either, but if anything he seems to gravitate a little more toward creative endeavors; he got excited right away with the idea of making a manga with Kuboyasu, he was trying too hard at the art gallery but trying nonetheless, and then of course his daydreamings.

That's not something he's sharing with his mom. It feels natural for him to be embarrassed of his act in front of his mom, but I mean... it's hardly like he's embarrassed about doing that in front of the whole class, so I do get the feeling it might be in part because that has nothing to do with what he's supposed to be doing with his time, especially since Saiki mentions Kaido's mom is right and his grades have been suffering.

Overall, it's quite ironic in that sense that despite seemingly loving his mom, Kaido can't bring himself to stand up to her for his own wishes most of the time, and he's not completely truthful about the person he is in front of her. And yet the apple doesn't fall far from the tree because both of them think the exact same when it comes to their loved ones being honest to them.

I think perhaps that's what makes a little difference when it comes to their views; Kaido does come to accept things like Saiki being an esper and not telling him for the longest time and Kuboyasu with his delinquent past. Because while he clearly has the same ideas about a person being completely honest with you in order to have a proper positive bond with them, he hides too. There might be some truth to who he is in his chuunnibyou act in the sense of what he wants to be, but even then he's still hiding from his mom.

He's the first to freak out at the thought of being deceived by someone he cares about, but I think, at the end of the day, he does realize that honesty does matter to him, yes, but in the same way he does want to protect people even if he's terrified out of his mind and his act helps him pretend in that way, Kuboyasu earnestly trying to live in a more respectable way isn't a lie, Saiki being there for them all and being their friend isn't a lie.

On that note, this particular moment with him and Nendo is very interesting:

Because here Kaido obviously was lying on purpose for April's fools and going overboard with it, but knowing Nendo trusted him about the camera incident when nobody else did? It meant a lot, and his way of sort of solidifying that trust is promising to himself that he won't lie to Nendo again.

He obviously does keep the whole Black Jet Wings persona even so, as he does around everybody, but I do think that's in part because that's not a lie to him, it's an act and a game, but in a way it is part of the kind of person he is.

gangster house husband material

Things To Never Say To Someone Who Just Came Out - "houseki no kuni" version...

BACK TO HNK POSTING LETSSS GOOOOO

i changed few things so it could be more "accurate"

anyways, these are canon bcs i say so

Nothing can convince me Yumehara isn't a kpop fan. I was a boy-crazy middle schooler and I fell pray to kpop like a helpless critter. The different sets of pretty boys with almost character-like personalities and fucking color themes like power rangers grabbed me by the neck and didn't let go until I was 20. Yumehara MUST be going through it at this very moment.

(Teruhashi doesn't really get it, but she's supportive regardless)

Black Butler fans how are y’all feeling??!

overrated gurl

Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that! Though, I'm a bit confused on what you mean by "rated"? Are you... rating me and other women against one another? That feels a bit mean to do to a girl...

Having feelings in this Chili's my car today about how Saiki definitely develops a huge soft spot for the sound of Akechi's voice.

Imagine being forced to listen to the thoughts of every angry, depressed, anxious, horny, and weird thoughts of hundreds of people constantly. And then finding out that you can tune into radio Akechi, whose thoughts and chatter are more than enough to drown everyone else out.

Instead of hearing a constant barrage of pettiness, prejudice, and stupidity, Saiki can listen to an almost infinite collection of random facts, interesting observations about the people and world around Akechi in the moment, the occasional affectionate thought about him in particular, and yeah, regular updates on Akechi's bladder status.

At its worst, Akechi's chatter is only benign and boring, and often when he knows Saiki is listening, he'll turn his thoughts to topics he knows Saiki has interest in.

It's like putting on noise-cancelling headphones and playing NPR in the background but the NPR hosts love you and spend half their time trying to entertain you specifically.

Not to mention how Akechi is smart enough to take care of himself, and fond enough of Saiki to keep an eye on his silly herd of friends for him.

Anyways the sound of Akechi's voice/thoughts makes Saiki relax and immediately drops his blood pressure. <3

still practicing this new coloring method! screenshot redraw of these two for practice because I love them 🩷😔 [kofi | twt | insta on bio]

Hatsune Miku I want to meet.