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How Other Cosmere Characters Would Convince The Stick to Become Fire

Shallan once famously failed to convince the Stick to become fire. But how might other characters approach this stick-y problem?

Moash: There is nothing for you as a stick. Fade away. Become ash.

Hoid: Do you like stories, Stick? How about the one about Firestick, the Stick Who Became Fire…

Rlain: To understand fire, you must become fire. It’s about bridging minds.

Renarin: I see no future in which you become fire…But the future can be changed!

Steris: I have prepared 957 reasons why being fire would be advantageous for you. Reason 1, Part A…

Lopen: Women LOVE a stick who can become fire, gon!

Dalinar: You WILL become fire.

Dalinar: …Huh. That usually works.

Lift: You know what’s delicious? Toasted marshmallows!

Navani: (Gets out a big magnifying glass)

Jasnah: (Turns a rock into fire instead)

Jasnah: I like to challenge myself.

Mraize: You have to ask yourself, Little Stick: are you hunter, or are you the prey?

Kelsier: I like your style, Stick! You want to join my crew? Your job is being fire!

Odium: First, I must take away everyone this Stick loves!

Nale: I have convinced the ruler to draft a new law. You must become fire.

Sebarial: (Getting a massage) Eh. I hired someone else to do it.

Kaladin: No. This is…wrong.

Kaladin: This Stick wants to be a Stick. And I will protect it!

Kaladin: It will not cease to be a stick on my watch!

Stick: (immediately becomes fire)

Kaladin: NOOOOOOOOOO

Don’t worry about your relationship woes all you lonely Windrunners! Remember, first base is killing them!

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