đ
Headcanon that Tony plays Minecraft when heâs extremely physically tired but mentally he canât sleep, cause it allows him to mindlessly do things and create things with much less physical effort then actually creating things or working on something in the lab.
(When Peter finds out he creates a world for the both of them. They donât always play on it together but itâs a world they keep expanding on. When they are on together they are both usually having an insomnia night so they typically work on their separate builds or one is gathering materials for the other. They donât usually talk while they are on but some how they still work effortlessly together.)
when i was a freshman in high school (10ish years ago), i met this girl named abi (she was my gay awakening and now we are very very dear friends đ«¶đŒ). i introduced her to sherlock after i saw her wearing a dr who shirt one day, and she and i let the show absolutely rot our brains. she would beta my johnlock fic for me, but i wrote my fic on paper LOL! and we passed notes in class as sherlock and dr watson (i was sherlock, she was my jawn).
and now weâre both older and iâm driving down to visit her for the first time in months tomorrow and itâs been almost 10 years but my first thought was âiâm so excited to see my jawn!â and itâs just crazy how fandom can do that to people.
Love this!!! But also LOVE reading an active series. Itâs like waiting for the next episode of your fav show to come out.
it came to my realization that 99% of my fandom related headaches would be cured if everyone understood this
Born to o_o, forced to đ
đł <- this emoji but without the blush or romantic connotation. im not blushing im staring you directly in your fucking eyes
The bisexual to aroace pipeline is pretty much having the right idea and coming to the wrong conclusion. Yeah buddy you're not straight and you're also not gay. No not like that though, the other way around
I think this rewired something in me
Witness in the Dark
â» Sierra Six x Claire's Older Sister!Reader â»
{ masterlist } â» { ao3 } â» { requested fic }
â» Summary: Don't we all just want to feel the companionable reassurance of another human being?
It only takes a single tragedy to tear your life to shreds and make it to where you're unable to sleep through the night. You tell yourself that you will never trust a bodyguard again, but things don't go according to plan when a man with a number for a name is assigned to the Fitzroy household while your uncle is away
â» Rating: T for suggestive themes and canon typical violence.
â» Content/Tags: Slow burn, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Night terrors, Pining, Unspecified age gap, Movie based - Alternate Universe, No use of Y/N, Obsessive behaviors from both parties, Descriptions of injuries, Mentions of parental death, Mentions of past kidnapping, Mentions of past torture, Implied death of minor character(s)
â» Word count: 12,637
â» Status: Oneshot/Complete
â» Author's Notes: I don't know what came over me. This really got uncontrollably out of hand and ended up being wildly self indulgent. Huge thanks for @danime25 for proofreading this. I owe you my life.
"Ladies!" Your sister's nurse calls as she walks into the room. "I want to introduce you to Six. He'll be looking after the house while Mister Donald is away."
You look up from your position next to Claire on her bed only to meet the eyes of the man following the nurse. They're startlingly blue. His face is impassive as he turns away and surveys the room. He carries himself with an easy grace that hints at the violence that his body could produce. He reeks of danger. You instantly don't appreciate his presence. You had fought with Uncle Fitz tooth and nail over hiring a bodyguard for the duration of his trip away from the home. This manâs presence here means you have clearly lost that argument.
"Only the two exits?" He questions, moving past the bed to stand at the ceiling to floor windows.Â
"Yeah." Your tone is hard, biting. The nurse gives a small gasp at your rudeness and says your name disapprovingly.
The man, Six, turns away from the window to look at you with a raised eyebrow. You stare at each other silently, sizing the other up. Thereâs a flicker of some emotion that you might label as respect in his eyes before Claire, picking up on your hostility, throws her hat in the ring.
"We don't chew gum in this house." You've never loved your little sister's faux-snob act more than in this moment. She snaps a photo of him with her Polaroid, staged records forgotten. He doesn't look particularly pleased about it. Itâs more exasperated acceptance than anger though.
He's silent for a moment before speaking. "I'm sorry. I wasn't briefed."Â
Thereâs a trace of a smile on his face. Itâs irritating and you have to look away from him. You stare at a record sleeve like your life depends on it. He asks for the photo and picks it up. You see a flash of a tattoo on his hand as he plucks the Polaroid off of the bedspread. Poorly done and worn with age. Heâs definitely one of Uncle Fitzâs prison recruits then. One of the most morally dubious options he could have saddled you with in his absence. Perfect.
He says his goodbyes to you and Claire before leaving the room. Your heart is beating irrationally rapidly and your mouth is dry. The man with a number for a name is stirring up nothing but bad memories. You know you wonât sleep well tonight.Â
âââ⻠·â· â»âââ
âWhat kind of name is Six anyway?â Claire asks first thing in the morning after she tosses herself into a chair at the kitchen table. The man in question gives her a long look.Â
"007 was already taken soâŠ" He says with a relaxed shrug, coffee mug in hand. He's leaning against the kitchen counter in the same suit as yesterday.
You choke back a laugh at the sight of your sister's expression. You accidentally meet Six's eyes over her head. There's warmth in them that douses your amusement immediately. You sober up and turn back to your breakfast. Softness in someone doing his line of work felt⊠wrong. He isn't trustworthy, you decide, no matter how kind he acts.Â
âââ⻠·â· â»âââ
You wake up with a start. The coppery tang of blood mixed with the dry powder of concrete lingers in your subconscious. It takes several heaving breaths to clear your airway and bring you back to the present. You shakily sit up. You press your palms into your eyes. You try to forget the sensation of a knife in your skin. You're here. You're safe . You're one of the last people your sister has. You're the stable one.
You get to your feet in the dark bedroom and open your door to step out into the hall. You trail unsteady fingertips down the plaster and paint as you make your way to the kitchen and living area.Â
There's a barely audible scuffle and you peer through the gloom to see Six stalking you. You catch the barest glimpse of his face in a strip of moonlight. It's intent. Predatory. There's no hint of recognition, not while you move through the darkest parts of the room.
You feel cold. Your pulse starts to hammer in your veins. Your throat works uselessly. Words won't come out of your mouth. You forge along to the kitchen and fumble for the light. The kitchen is awash in a blinding glow right as you feel heat against your back. It immediately withdraws as the bodyguard removes himself from your personal space. You don't turn to face him while you get a glass from the cupboard and fill it with ice and water at the fridge's dispenser. You stare blankly at the burnished steel while you take sip after sip.
You refill your glass. You blink. You take a drink. You pretend like your mind isn't shattered. You pretend like the man your uncle hired hadn't been about toâŠ
"Are you alright?" Six's voice cuts through the fog in your mind. It's like a lantern has been lit to guide you back into the waking world.
You find yourself then and turn to look at him. You study him. He looks slightly rumpled and tired. There's tension around his eyes and his mouth is set in an almost apologetic frown.Â
"Just another nightmare. Sorry for disturbing you."
The frown deepens. "You didn't. I was caught by surprise, that's all."
"Fair warning, me out here like this is probably going to be a regular occurrence." You smile wanly. "I know you want us in bed, but I don't do the whole staying put thing so well most nights."
He just nods. He's accepted your words without protest. The frown fades away.
You gesture with your glass in the vague direction of your bedroom. "I'm going to go ahead and excuse myself. Goodnight, Six."
"Goodnight."Â
âââ⻠·â· â»âââ
Weeks go by. The household falls into a comfortable enough routine. Claire ribs him good-naturedly every chance she gets. He's always got a faint aura of amusement every time she takes a shot at him. You hadn't yet seen him get angry. Pretending to be annoyed? Yes, but never actually expressing any negative emotion beyond mild exasperation. Not yet, anyway.Â
He sends the both of you to bed every night after Claire's nurse takes her leave. You inevitably get up in the middle of the night after another vivid nightmare. Six is always either watching the camera footage or doing his rounds. He's stopped being surprised by your presence after the night he hunted you. You linger in the kitchen doorway night after night, watching him keep vigil. He's got a soft face, you've decided. There's tension there, likely from worry and lack of sleep, but not cruelty. You've begun to wonder if he has the capability for it. You know he must. Uncle Fitz has kept you in the dark about a lot of the work he does, but you know a kind man wouldnât have been a candidate for whatever program your uncle runs.Â
âââ⻠·â· â»âââ
You're woken up a few nights later by the sound of hands scrabbling on your door. Your eyes snap open and you remain frozen for a second before you hear Claire's muffled voice. You're immediately out of bed so fast you stumble and twist your ankle painfully. You fling the door open and next thing you know, your little sister falls wheezing into your arms. "Something's⊠Something's wrong." She gasps out.
She can't breathe and is clutching at her chest with weak hands. Horror races down your back and you're pulling her into your arms in a clumsy embrace, desperately trying to keep her upright.
"Six!" The name is torn from you in a shout. You never thought you would be screaming for a man you'd told yourself you couldn't trust.
He's there in an instant. He puts a steadying hand on your back before he gently pulls Claire away and lifts her up into his arms. She wheezes again and both you and Six freeze.
"I'm okay." she whispers. She looks so small and breakable in the bodyguard's thick arms. Like a bird plucked from the sky, held the mercy of a giant's hands.
"Can you get the keys for the car and unlock it?" His voice washes over you. Its steadiness anchors you to reality. You manage a "Yeah." and take off through the house to the garage, making a pit-stop to snag the keys from their bowl. Your ankle is throbbing. Six is close behind, his brisk stride and long legs keeping time with your hurried scrambling. You mash the unlock button on the fob and throw yourself into the backseat. Claire is gently deposited in after you. Her head is resting on your lap. You comb through her brown hair with shaky hands.Â
"Mount St. Mary's." You tell Six the moment he's halfway into the driver's seat. "They're the ones who put her pacemaker in."
He grunts in response, backing out of the garage. You don't remember when you handed him the keys or when the garage door was opened. You don't think about anything other than your little sister. You can't lose her too. You've already lost so much of your family and of yourself. The ride passes in a blur. You're only fleetingly aware of the passing lights. Your heart is hammering in your chest like it's beating for Claire and you both. You whisper pleas and promises to her, stroking her forehead with shaking hands.
You're pulled out of your trance by Six yanking the passenger door open, and you help guide your sister into his capable arms. The medical team whisks Claire into the back immediately the moment he has her on the stretcher. You're left in a stiff, vinyl chair in the waiting room. Bodies haven't been in it long enough to soften the material. You're filling out intake paperwork on your sister's behalf. Six stands next to you, hands clasped in front of himself. You glance over, checking his watch every few seconds, your leg bouncing in place. Nervousness and fear wash over you in all-consuming waves.Â
He catches your glance as your eyes dart over yet again.
"You holding up alright?'' His questions surprise you. He rarely is the one to initiate conversations. His gaze is steady, grounding, blue eyes watching you intently.
"Not really." You admit, inhaling and exhaling jaggedly. He nods. There's tension around his eyes. Is he worried too? You have to look away from his face and instead talk to his watch. "She's my sister. I need to keep her safe. I can't lose her too."
You hear him make a noise in response. You watch the seconds tick by one by one on his watch. The two of you are silent for approximately thirty-seven of them before Six breaks the moment by undoing the metal clasp. He pulls the watch away from his skin, revealing a bar of ink across the underside of his surprisingly delicate wrist before he's handing it to you.
"Here."
You stare at the dangling watch blankly before looking up at his face. "What?"
"Keep it safe for me for a while." His tone leaves no room for argument. You reach out with hesitant fingers and take it from his grasp. The steel is warm in your hand. You swallow thickly and drape the watch over your wrist, waiting for the sickening feeling of having your hands bound to hit you. It doesn't. You clumsily latch the buckle. It's sized perfectly for the man diligently standing at your side, no possibility of tightening it without it being resized altogether. It hangs off your wrist like a loose bracelet and you realize then just how big Six is.Â
He hides his mass well. His muscles are concealed discretely enough underneath blazers and tailored trousers. He simply doesn't take up space in whatever room he's in, always the expert at being unremarkable, unobtrusive, and not worth remembering. But this⊠this is a dead giveaway. You cast a sideways glance at his hands and, for a dizzying moment, you wonder how your hand would look pressed palm to palm with one of his.
"Miss Fitzroy. Your sister is cleared for visitors now if you would like to see her." A nurse's voice cuts into your illogical musings.
You stand up so abruptly that the chair you were just sitting on screeches agonizingly loud on the polished vinyl flooring before it thuds into the wall. The nurse flinches slightly, but Six is steady at your side. He falls into step behind you as you follow the man through the winding hallways to Claire.
The doctor stops you at the door, arm barring you for a moment before letting it drop. "She's stabilized. Tell your uncle there was a programming glitch. We were able to repair it. Non-invasive." She pauses for a moment, giving the man hovering behind you a hard look before continuing. "The remote system flagged it ten minutes before he pulled up."
"You're able to monitor from that distance?" You interrupt.Â
"We can keep track of her pacemaker from just about anywhere. You may see her. She can be released later tonight after we have her under observation for a while longer.â The doctor catches your pinched expression and adds. âJust to be safe.â
You nod, gaze bypassing her to focus on Claire. Sheâs been watching the exchange and, at your attention, she pulls a weak smile under her oxygen mask while raising a pale hand to flash the rocker sign. The doctor finally steps aside but not before blocking Six as he makes to follow you into the room. âOnly family allowed.â
You look at her incredulously and open your mouth to protest before Six cuts you off. âI understand. Thank you, Doctor.â His tone is bland, unemotional. He arranges himself to stand with his back to the inside of the open door. Heâs obnoxiously in the way of anyone that would need to come or go. He spends the passing minutes as they bleed into hours standing there like a steadfast sentinel. Back straight, hand clasped over his right wrist, left wrist startlingly bare, head lowered in waiting supplication; heâs the very image of patient servitude.
You sit at your sister's side in your own vigil. The three of you wait in tired silence until a nurse finally announces Claire is free to be discharged.Â
She fusses as she's helped into a wheelchair. You and Six stand aside, letting the staff fight the battle. They win, but as soon as everyone spills out of the automatic doors, she's pulling herself out of the mobility aid. She gently slaps away yours and Six's reaching hands when the two of you try to steady her. "Don't you dare."
"But-" you start to protest before you're immediately shut down. "I can walk to the car. I'm not that much of an invalid."
Six doesn't even try to say anything, just forges ahead through the parking lot like nothing happened. He's learned by now that there's no arguing with your little sister. The traitor. You and Claire make it to the vehicle after him and you move to slide into the back seat with her but she pulls a face.
"You're smothering meeeee." she exaggeratedly whines. You give her a flat look. "Smothered." she insists. She dramatically points at the front of the car and raises insistent eyebrows.
You end up buckling yourself into the front passenger seat with an exasperated sigh. You look over at Six. The tension has bled away from his face. He looks more relaxed, relieved even. He notices your stare and the two of you make eye contact. You roll your eyes pointedly at your sisterâs antics. Six maintains a serious expression until it cracks and youâre rewarded with the bodyguard's smile.
Six's arm brushes ever so slightly against yours when he puts the vehicle into reverse and then into drive. The feeling of his warmth lingers like a brand on your skin. His watch hangs heavily around your wrist. You fight the urge to gently touch the gleaming metal and instead interlink your own fingers together hard enough to hurt. Â
You spend the car ride sagged against the leather of the passenger seat, desperately trying to focus on the passing scenery and not the man seated next to you. Not his kindness, not the way he had kept you grounded. You tell yourself he was just doing his job. Any bodyguard would have been tender and careful with your sisterâŠÂ and with you. You try to not read into what Six offering his watch to you for "safe keeping" might possibly mean.
Soon you're back at the house, waiting in the garage with your little sister while the hired man does a sweep of the building to make sure no one has breached the perimeter while it lay vacant. Claire is tucked against your side. She's bleary eyed with exhaustion.Â
"Clear." Six's voice cuts into the silence of the garage.
You tow Claire along with you and sit her down at the table. She slumps with her cheek resting in her hand. You busy yourself with getting a bowl of ice cream set in front of her.
She gulps it down in huge mouthfuls. Six sits to your right at the head of the table while she eats. His eyes are focused on the screen of his laptop. You're sitting across from your sister, half curled up in the dining chair. The adrenaline has long since left your body, leaving you feeling heavy with exhaustion.
"You feeling better?" Six directs at Claire.
"Just another Thursday." She says with a shrug. "Uncle Donald and my sister say this is the best medicine. Ice cream. I tend to agree."
"They're smart people."
"Only family I got."Â
Sixâs response is instant, like heâll choke on the words if he doesnât get them out of his mouth fast enough. âFitzâs the closest thing to family Iâve had in a long while.â
"Maybe that kind of makes us family."Â
You catch the way that he smiles. He ducks his head to hide it, but you see the hopeless spread of it across his face. Thereâs something so tender and vulnerable in his eyes that you get stung by a pang in your chest. Your heart aches for the people sitting at the table with you. Claire for carrying the loss of your parents and Six for whose closest hint of a familial tie is his boss. You get pulled out of your spiraling thoughts by Claire yawning.Â
"You should go to bed." His voice is soft.
You haul yourself to your feet, exhausting hanging on you like a blanket. You whisk Claireâs empty bowl away and gently touch her shoulder. âCâmon, you heard the man.âÂ
She grumbles a little and stands up with you. Youâre about to guide her to her bedroom but she pauses and turns. ââNight, Robot.â
âGoodnight, Claire.â He sounds exasperated with an undercurrent of amusement.
He doesnât look away from the screen as you and your younger sister retire for the night. You fall into bed, wrung out from the hospital trip. Itâs not until youâre firmly under the covers and settled into bed that you realize youâre still wearing Sixâs watch. You stare at it, warring with yourself on if you should scrape yourself off of the mattress to go give it to the bodyguard keeping vigil at the table or to just set it aside to give to him in the morning. You do neither of those things. You fall asleep watching the silver metal reflect the moonlight peering through the shivering curtains. You do not dream of your past captors and their leering smiles that night. Instead, you dream of a comforting hand on your wrist, the gentle hum of a deep voice.Â
âââ⻠·â· â»âââ
The three of you settle back into routine following Claireâs hospital visit, but things have shifted slightly following that night. You gave Six his watch back the following morning before your sister got out of bed and before her nurse arrived for the day. He took it from your hesitantly offered hand. His thick fingers gently brushed your palm as he lifted the piece from it. Your wrist has felt desolate, too light ever since you took it off. You try to ignore it all, try to regain the distance you had before. You donât succeed. Something about Uncle Fitzâs hired man keeps eroding the walls built from mistrust and agony.Â
âââ⻠·â· â»âââ
You snap awake, soaked through with rapidly cooling sweat. Youâre certain you didnât scream out. Your throat isnât sore, but your face is wet, moisture clinging to your lashes. You must have been silently sobbing through your nightmare. You uncurl yourself from your tensed position and drag yourself out of bed. You walk through the darkened hallway to the kitchen. You make sure to roughly trail your hand along the wall and clear your throat. It wonât do anyone any favors to startle Six.Â
You get your glass of water and make your way into the main sprawl of rooms. The bodyguard is sitting at the kitchen table, laptop open, as he is most nights. You pull out a chair and sit down with your glass. You look at it hollowly, trying to ignore the lingering terror from your nightmares. You can't but notice Sixâs eyes flickering over to you now and again. Thereâs a concerned crease between his eyebrows.
âRough night?â
âThe usual. As Claire says, itâs just another Thursday.â Your voice comes out more bitter than you intend. You tighten your grip on your cup until it feels like it might shatter in your hand. You force yourself to loosen your clenched fingers.Â
The man seated at the table with you gives an acknowledging hum, sedately chewing his gum. He doesnât press, doesnât try to force any explanations out of you. You relax a little in your seat. Having another human being awake and nearby is a comfort. You rest your cheek on your hand and observe him. He looks tired. The light coming from the screen serves only to highlight the weariness weighing down his face and stooping his usually rigid shoulders. Looking at him like this reminds you of the night you watched this man and your sister interact after he drove you both home from Mount St. Maryâs.Â
âSheâs happier with you around, you know.â
There's such a long silence following your unprompted comment that you don't think he'll respond but he finally does. "She's a good kid."
"Yeah. Yeah she is." You donât think you could have clung to life in the wake of the incident without her there to be strong for. Most weeks, she was the only reason you bothered to try to function.
You drain the rest of your glass and stand up. The ice clinks. You dump it in the sink and put the cup in the top rack of the dishwasher. You felt wrung out enough to attempt sleep again. You pause in the doorway and look back at the man at the table. "Six."
He looks up, eyebrow raised. His lips are slightly parted.Â
"'Night."
"Goodnight." You canât decipher his tone.
Your nightmares donât return that night.Â
âââ⻠·â· â»âââ
About a month later, youâre screaming and thrashing in your bed. Youâre choking under your captorâs hands, the sensation of soaked cloth over your face. You feel the pressure of those cruel fingers on your throat, over your mouth. Water moistening every ragged inhale. You canât breathe.
Sixâs response is all but instantaneous from the moment he hears your first scream. He pushes your door open, one hand on the knob and the other wrapped around his drawn gun. Heâs sweeping his eyes across the dark room, Thereâs no attacker to find, thereâs only you writhing on your bed, plagued by your own mind. He holsters his weapon and goes to your side. He tries calling your name, but thereâs no acknowledgement, only your panicked wheezing. He puts one knee on the mattress for stability and grabs your upper arms. He tries to shake you awake. That gets a reaction. You start fighting him. Your hands claw and hit at him. He ignores it and repeats your name, asking you to wake up with an edge of desperation to his voice. Heâs wildly unprepared for this. A physical enemy he can handle, but thisâŠ
You come out of it, going limp in his hold. Your chest is heaving. You blink away the lingering horrors of your dream and look up at him, horrified. For a split second your panic flares anew until you focus on his face. You remind yourself that you know this man, that you trust him with your sisterâs life. He releases his grip on you and leans to turn on your bedside lamp. You wince against the explosion of light before bolting upright to reach towards his face. Heâs scratched and you wonder if heâs going to be sporting a black eye. He lets your fingertips rest on his cheek for a heartbeat, something unreadable in his eyes before heâs withdrawing his knee from the mattress and standing at the side of your bed. Heâs the picture of composure.
âIâm so sorry.â Guilt is suffocating you almost as much as the man in your nightmare.Â
"You don't need to apologize. I should. I wasn't briefed about how to handle it." He sounds genuinely sorry, a touch of distress bleeding into his tone. It twists the knife of guilt deeper. You feel your eyes start to well.Â
"No, no it's not your fault.. I don't want to be like this, I'm sorry." The tears spill over. You turn your face away and scrub your hands over your cheeks.
He hesitates and sits down on the bed next to you. There's a yawning span of distance between the two of you. There's not a hint of anger or frustration coming from him, not even pity. just.... sorrow. Understanding.
"Fitz briefed me on your history." It's blunt. matter of fact.
"Then you know about the...." You hesitate.Â
"Yeah.â He answers before continuing. âDoes he know how bad it gets?"
"No⊠I never told him all the details. I didn't want to burden him. He's got enough to worry about." You shrink into yourself. Your eyes focused on the items cluttering your nightstand.
"Your wellbeing isn't a burden." There it is. Thereâs a taste of the anger youâd been waiting for in his tone. You squeeze your eyes shut.
"I'm the stable one, Six. I can't let everyone down again ." You laugh a little, self-deprecating. You press your palms against your eyes. Baring down until stars explode behind your closed eyelids.Â
He hums, and you feel the shift of the mattress as he stands up. You think heâs leaving, disgusted with you and your emotions, but the heat of his presence doesnât go away. The warmth of him bleeds through your sleep clothes. You can feel him looking down at you. You nearly jump out of your skin when he nudges your arm. You look up at him, startled. He quirks an eyebrow.
âCome on.â He says, offering his hand to you. You take it. He easily guides you up onto shaky legs.
He has you follow him down the hallway and to the dining table. A path as familiar as an old friend by now. He motions for you to sit at the table, and you mutely follow his direction. You hear him move around in the kitchen. He returns with a bowl of ice cream and a full glass of water. He sits both in front of you.
"I have it on expert authority that this should help. All the smartest people I know support it." He's so serious sounding. You look at him flatly. He holds his grave expression for a beat before he winks. You crack a teary smile and lay into the ice cream like it personally insulted you.
He settles into a chair across from you while you eat. He occasionally glances over at the open laptopâs screen to check the security footage, but his main focus is on you. You feel a little self conscious under his gaze. You scour your mind for something to say, anything to lessen the intensity heâs directing towards you.
"Do you ever sleep? Like⊠go to bed sleep?" The question comes out of nowhere. a flash of surprise crosses his face. You'd seen him cross his arms in his chair and tip his head back. Caught him leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets, hip cocked for stability. But the thought of him actually dressing down into pajamas and tucking himself under the blankets seems.... implausible. too soft for this man who is alert and buttoned up into his crisp slacks and fitted shirts no matter the hour of the day. You half supposed he showered in the damn things.
"Not as often as I should. I don't sleep easy either." The honesty surprises you.Â
"Why?" It's probing but you're too exhausted and raw to care.
"Too many memories. My line of work isn't exactly conducive to pleasant dreams." You wonder if he would have been willing to be so open this entire time or if something changed between the two of you. When would it have changed? Were the moments you found significant also important to him? Was he starting to crave your company in the inexplicable way as youâve begun to crave his?
You almost apologize to him for prying, but you stop yourself. You nod instead. You understand how it is to have a beast pacing the maze of your sleeping mind, pulling out the threads of your worst memories like entrails for you to witness over and over again.Â
"I still think about it⊠About them." You admit. Your eyes skitter across the table like a frightened mouse, focusing on Six's watch face before darting away. You canât tell the time from this distance. There is a pressure welling up in your throat. Something is clawing its way out into the open.
âTalk to me.â His request is firm, paving the way for your words. He takes his watch off, a mirror of the other night. It slips free of his arm in the same way, inky black revealed on the underside of his wrist, tendons shifting, the movements delicate. He sets the watch on the table in front of you. The metal links clatter on the polished wood surface. You glance up at his face, shadowed in the dim light. âFor safekeeping.â He remarks.
You reach out and lift it from the worn surface, running your fingers over the band. The weight is soothing in your grasp. The seconds tick by and it feels as though your heart is trying to race them. You finally open your mouth and release your burden.
âClaire had her birthday party that day. It was the last good day we had with our parents. It was hard to keep the security straight since there were so many people in the house. I didnât think anything was wrong when two men came up to me and introduced them as part of the security detail. I still didnât think it was weird when they asked me to come with them. How could I have been so stupid ?â Your breath catches, anger palpable in your voice. Six twitches like he might reach out, but he stills and you continue.
âThey got me out of the house. I wasnât strong enough to fight them off when they put me in the back of the SUV. They⊠they kept me for days asking questions I didnât know the answers to. They didnât like that I didnât know anything. They tried to be more persuasive⊠so I started making up things. I just wanted them to stop but they wouldnât. The wrong answer or the right answer, it didnât matter. They offered me in exchange for a ransom and eventually they pulled me out of the basement. My parents were there to do the handoff. The guys wouldnât let anyone else do it. We made it about three miles down the highway before they caught up with us and shot out the front tires. I donât think they expected anyone to live after we went through the guardrail, so they just.. drove off. Left. I donât know how long I was in the car staring at my parents. Claire was too young to understand that I ruined her life. Iâve been waiting for her to realize what I did. She hasnât yet but she will.â
âHow did you ruin it?â Quiet, disbelieving.
âI got our parents killed. I shouldnât have gone with those men. I shouldâve known better.â You hear a noise like a wounded animal. A creature left for roadkill, great heaving breaths rattling in that damaged chest. Itâs you, you realize dully, youâre the animal. Thereâs a large hand enveloping your wrist. Itâs Six and heâs holding onto you.Â
âHow could you know?â He asks. You shake your head, a sob escapes you. You feel shame. Grief. Sixâs hand squeezes almost tight enough to hurt. It grounds you, you canât escape into your own mind. Not with that insistent pressure to stay . You feel the metal of his watch biting into the skin of your palm. Itâs a good kind of ache.
âIt wasnât your fault. You trusted people you were meant to trust. Who could blame you for that?â he insists. His eyes are too soft, too kind.
âUncle Fitz.â It slips out, involuntary. You would bite your own tongue off if it could take back the betrayal. You donât dare to look at the man seated across from you. You had all but swung a bat at the person who he said was the closest thing he had to family.Â
His hand withdraws from your arm, and for a moment youâre certain that heâs going to walk off and leave you sitting here by yourself. He doesnât, he surprises you once again. He simply leans further over the table, capturing your hands with his before plucking his watch from your ironclad grasp. He lays it over your much smaller wrist. He handles you with so much gentleness it almost hurts. He secures the clasp and simply⊠holds your hands. He says your name and you look upÂ
âYour family loves you.â He states simply. He says it like itâs an indisputable fact. Like itâs something as true and honest as the rotation of the Earth. You nod mutely. You canât argue, not when he says it with so much assurance. He gives your hands a final, comforting squeeze and stands up. He gathers up your dishes, bowl, spoon, and glass. The bodyguard makes a soothing gesture to stay seated when you make a motion to rise and help him. You listen to the domestic sounds of him running the sink and loading your used dishes into the dishwasher. Your eyes start to drift shut. Thereâs a weight off your lungs, your burden has been dispersed, even just for a little while.
Thereâs a soft touch to your shoulder. Itâs Six and he wants you back in bed. You get to your feet and let him escort you to your bedroom door. You feel oddly nervous, fidgeting with your fingers and avoiding meeting the hired manâs eyes. It feels like the awkward end of a weird date where everyone was too uncomfortably honest.. No matter how delusional that sounds even to yourself.
âGoodnight.â heâs the one who breaks the silence first. You feel relieved.Â
ââNight, Six.â is your response as you put your hand on the doorknob and slip into the room, away from his unreadable gaze. When you fall asleep for the second time that night, you dream of steady hands marked with prison tattoos.
âââ⻠·â· â»âââ
The morning dawns without preamble. It feels like you have barely laid your head on the pillow. You check the time on the watch hanging loosely around your wrist. Less than four hours have passed since your night terror and subsequent comforting via the household bodyguard. Your morning routine feels more laborious than usual. Every movement feels like crawling through tilled soil.Â
Youâre dressed for the day and walking into the kitchen when you hear your little sister badgering Six.Â
âWhat happened to you, Robot?â she asks.
You pop your head around the corner to take a look at the man sheâs addressing. You stop cold. Itâs a mess. Heâs a mess. The skin around his left eye is puffy and bruised. There's clear nail marks on his cheeks and down to his neck. Any exposed skin had taken the brunt of your panic. You can even see some redness through his facial hair. You feel sick, betrayed again by your body. Your own hands had tried to tear him apart.Â
"Well..." he starts and shrugs his jacket off. He folds it and drapes it over the back of one of the chairs.
He's about to go on his outdoor rounds, which you and Claire have secretly dubbed âenrichment timeâ, and continue wearing a trail into the yard. If heâs feeling particularly comfortable, he might sneak a nap in one of the lawn chairs now that the sun is up. Provided that heâs sure the two of you are secure and can survive without him awake for an hour or so.Â
"Your sister beat me in a fight. I'll have to hand in my championship belt." It's relaxed and easy. He gives you a conspiratorial wink when Claire rolls her eyes with a scoff.
You match his earnest tone with your own. "You should have seen it, I was about to get the folding chair and everything."
âOoh-kay, Iâll just assume it was a weird sex thing,â she comments, turning back to her breakfast. âLooks like you already won his watch though. Congrats.âÂ
Silence follows. Claire smugly scrapes her spoon around in her bowl, capturing every last shred of cereal. Thereâs a self-satisfied smile on her face. Neither of you protest. Either you let it go and hope she loses interest in the bit, or you launch into a defense that will only get her to double down. No matter what, youâll be the losers.Â
Six pushes a heavy exhale through his nose and walks out of the room. You follow him right out the back door and onto the deck. The two of you stand there for a moment in companionable silence. Itâs beautiful out here. The sun is a sedate creature in the sky. She's lazily casting her rays over the yard. The water in the pool is sparkling in it, lapping playfully at the concrete walls. Sixâs shoulders are still tense in your field of view. He looks as though heâs holding himself up through sheer force of will.
âIâm sorry again about last night.â You say to his back.
âPlease donât be. Things happen.â He says with a sigh. You falter. He sounds as exhausted as you feel. You don't want to push the issue.Â
He gestures for you to sit in one of the deck chairs by the pool. You donât, instead choosing to trail him as he does his rounds. Heâs lit by the sun. Youâre in his shadow. His hair looks like a field of golden wheat. You almost want to run your hands though it in order to feel the softness for yourself. You instead soothe the urge by toying with the band of his watch still loosely encircling your wrist. He looks back at you every once in a while, eyes dazzlingly blue in the bright sunlight. You had never noticed the angles of his face before, the curves of his nose with its distinctive bump, the set of his cheekbones, how his facial hair is darker than the hair on his head. You hate that you're noticing these details now. After the events of last night, any tentative bond feels tainted.
The morning grows warmer as you drift behind him like a ghost. Eventually he rolls his sleeves up to reveal his forearms. You start to understand why people in bygone eras got so flustered at the sight of a lady's ankle. His wrists are bodice ripping enough, you suppose, but the space from his fingertips to the crook of his elbow? That is home to so much previously unseen skin. Had he been rolling up his sleeves every morning? If you had simply looked out one of the windows, would you have seen the sight that youâre witnessing now? Would you have seen the distinct veins trailing up the insides of his muscular arms? What about the tattoos whose mere existence beg to have a finger trace along his skin? You avert your eyes, not wanting him to notice you staring. You tell yourself that itâs just the novelty of it all, that the surprise at seeing him less buttoned up will wear off.
With the rounds done, the two of you are back at your starting point. The bodyguard settles onto one of the deck chairs. He lets out a borderline obscene groan as he lets his body relax against the wood. His eyes flutter closed. He shifts slightly, another noise escapes his throat as he does. You make your way to the chair next to him on shaky legs, and drop into it. He doesnât stir. You debate on standing up, you donât, the thought of leaving his side makes you anxious. You make yourself comfortable in your seat.Â
Through the open window, you can hear Claireâs record player. You hear the notes of Feel the Warm. Sheâs playing Mark Lindsay again. You let it wash over you. The sunlight is dappled across this part of the patio. You cast a glance over at your companion. His arms are crossed and he looks dead to the world. Your own eyelids are drooping, Heâs the last thing you see before you drift off.
You wake up gradually, itâs an easy kind of waking. No wild jerk of consciousness, just the soft trickle of awareness. Youâve managed to curl on your side in the deck chair. You squirm upright and feel cloth slide down into your lap. Itâs the hired manâs jacket. He must have gone back inside to get it. You touch it with hesitant fingers and look up, scanning for him. Heâs currently out of sight, but you do see Claire in the hammock chair across the way. Sheâs engrossed in her phone and frantically tapping at the screen. You check the time on the watch in your possession before you catch a glimpse of Six coming up the patio steps from the lower yard. Heâs got a sandwich in one hand and his own phone in the other. Heâs intent on the device. He glances up and accidentally meets your eyes. He jumps slightly as if startled youâre awake. He recovers and gives you a nod.
ââMorning.â His mouth is full. You know Claire will give him the tongue lashing of a lifetime if she notices.
"It's after twelve." You playfully retort, watching unimpressed as he fights to swallow the bread in his mouth. Heâs really struggling for a second before he gets it down, his throat working roughly. You get to your feet, carefully folding his jacket over your arm. You approach him with it.Â
"Good afternoon then." He says quietly. You swear you catch the ghost of a smile on his face as he looks at you.Â
âThanks for the blanket.â You say, offering it to him. He takes it with his unoccupied hand before shrugging it on, doing a quick change of hands with his lunch.Â
You move to take off the watch and return that as well, but he stops you with a disapproving noise. âYouâre keeping that safe for me, remember?â
You pause for a moment, mind racing wildly with the effort to make sense of his words. To find meaning in them. Your hand falls away from the metal and you surrender with a mute nod. If he wanted you to keep it for him for a while longer, who were you to protest? Itâs a strange kind of comfort to have it.Â
âââ⻠·â· â»âââ
Things come to another disastrous head some weeks later. It happens after the nurse sees Claire tucked into bed before heading home for the evening. It happens after you give your sister your own goodnight wishes. You had gently brushed her hair from her face and gave her a kiss on the forehead even if she scrunches her face in mock disgust each time you do. Thereâs no telling which moment between the two of you will be the last. You hadnât had the luxury of knowing that your momâs wet pleas for help would be the last gift from her in that twisted hunk of metal. You wanted your little sister to have a happy memory of you if a goodnight ever turned into a goodbye. Less nightmares that way.
You had stood up from your seat on the edge of the bed, made sure to smooth her blanket out. âSweet dreams, Claire.â you said before you extinguished the slow glow cast by the lamp on her nightstand.Â
ââNight,â she had said to you before yelling. ââNight, Robot!â in the direction of the door.Â
You heard a weary sounding response from the ârobotâ in question. Six was hovering in the hallway, patiently waiting to escort you to your bedroom door. Heâs been diligent in performing the action every single night without fail since your impromptu wrestling session with him. He also hasnât let you return his watch to him yet. You closed the bedroom door behind you, stepped into the hall and nearly brushed against the tall man. He moved back only enough to give you the barest clearance to get past him so he could trail after you for the scant few steps to your own door. It seems lately that heâs been standing closer to you. It also seems like his eyes have been lingering more on your face than the surveillance feeds at night when you emerge from your room, wide eyed and shaken from whatever terror that had gripped you. Your exchanged goodnights havenât been anything out of the ordinary though, even if his voice was lower⊠more intimate than it used to be.
The bubble officially bursts for you when you abruptly jerk awake. You assume it was a nightmare you canât remember, though you donât feel any of the usual symptoms. Thereâs no tremors or wild breathing. Youâre just⊠awake. You think about laying in bed and trying to drift off, but thereâs a sense of unease you canât shake. You make up your mind and shuffle over to the door. Like any other night, you turn the knob and walk out into the hall.
Like a snare snatching a rabbit, rough hands seize you. Your mouth is covered, fingers digging in harshly. And with a sudden drop of your stomach, you register the sensation of a gun pressing into your side. The metalâs coldness burrows though the thin layer of your sleep shirt. Youâre frozen in shock, mind racing. Where's Six? Where's the bodyguard uncle Fitz had hired? He was supposed to protect you and your sister. Keep you safe. Why wasn't he doing his job? Why was this man in the house?Â
Tears start running down your face without your permission. Your sobs are broken off against the inside of your mouth. They canât escape the crushing pressure. A scream you canât release is building in your throat. What if this man did something to Claire?
The gun digs in deeper, grinding against your ribs. He drags you down the hall and into the living room. Itâs dark and you flinch as you feel something sharp dig into one of your feet. You whimper. The floor is littered with broken glass. The sound of it shattering must have been what woke you up.Â
âShut up.â the man holding you hisses, giving you a tooth rattling shake while he leans over your shoulder to see where heâs steering you. His breath is sour. âWhere is he?â He must mean Six.Â
The bodyguard must still be able to present a problem if this man is asking about him. Youâre not completely alone in this. Itâs enough to sharpen your mind. To direct your focus. Your eyes are straining to make out anything in the darkness. Itâs a mess of shapes that are so familiar in the daylight, but they look like strangers in the darkness. You manage to recognize the coffee table before the attacker does and you pull your leg out of the way. He slams into it and stumbles. He curses loudly through the pain of hitting his shin on the corner. You see your opportunity and savagely bite the hand covering your mouth. The saltiness of blood washes over your tongue but you bury your teeth in deeper. The tendons and nerves give way beneath your teeth. You go until you hit bone and hang on. Even if you donât make out of this alive, youâre going to make damn sure this fucker doesnât get to keep full use of his fingers.
Heâs groaning, blinded by the shock of pain. You dare to release your hold on him in order to slam the back of your head into his face as hard as you can, throwing yourself into a backwards jump to do so. He lets out a wounded noise and clutches his face. Heâs completely let go of you to do so. The gun is on the floor now, dropped in the surprise of your retaliation. You skate awkwardly on the glass as you make a run for it. The floor feels wet under your feet as you sprint for the hall. Youâre leaving a trail of bloody footprints in your wake. The scream youâve felt building weakly escapes. Itâs a too quiet utterance of Sixâs name. You canât find the ability to yell as loud as you need to. Youâre nearly sightless from a lack of light and terrified tears. Youâre battering against the walls and furniture like a moth around a lightbulb. You make it halfway down the hall to Claireâs bedroom when you feel it. A brush of the assailantâs hand against your back. He shouts when he misses you, and you jitter to the side, making contact with the wall right as he slams into the floor. You put your back to it and look down, eyes wide enough in terror to make out the shapes of two struggling men.Â
Six is on top of the man who had grabbed you. His silhouette is identifiable even in the murky dark. Relief turns your legs into jelly. Heâs come for you after all. You allow yourself to go limp and slide down the wall, curling up on the floor. You squeeze your eyes closed so you donât have to put a visual to the violence youâre hearing. Itâs wet, crunchy. Eventually you only hear the heaving breathing of one man. You donât know how long you sit there shaking.Â
Youâre coaxed into opening your eyes by Sixâs voice saying your name. Your bedroom door is ajar and the light is on, illuminating the hallway enough to comfortably see, but not enough to where you canât pretend the dark smears and streaks are shadows. The attacker isnât in the hall any more. Six is kneeling in front of you. Heâs got a cut on his cheek but otherwise looks unharmed.
âAre you with me?â Itâs said with aching concern.
"Yeah⊠Yeah I'm here." Youâre all too aware of your stinging feet, the ache of your muscles, the pain in the back of your head.Â
Relief floods his face at your words. He reaches out but stops himself before making contact with you. You notice that his knuckles are split open and already bruising. His hand hovers in the space between your bodies, trembling slightly like he canât bear to touch you but withdrawing is equally torturous. You rock onto your knees and shove yourself into his arms instead. Theyâre instantly around you. He holds you to himself. Itâs all you can do to cling to him in kind. If you could nestle alongside the lungs in his chest, you would make a home in his rib cage.Â
"You did well. I'm sorry I wasn't able to keep him from you. His pals kept me busy." His voice is full of bitter frustration.Â
You shake your head and speak against his collarbone. âIs Claire okay?â
"She slept right through it. She's still asleep. I just checked on her." He soothes, running a hand up and down your back.
âGoodâŠâ you respond, unspeakably thankful. You could cry.
âDo I have your permission to pick you and take you to your bed? I donât want you walking with your feet like this.âÂ
âYeah, but Iâm too heavy?â Youâre surprised and uncertain. Sure, he had slammed around a grown man like a rag doll, but what ifâŠ.
âBelieve me, youâre not.â He sounds almost amused.
He eases you up onto your knees and over his lap. He encourages you to put your arms over his shoulders. Itâs startlingly intimate. You can easily see the fine lines around his eyes at this distance. His breath is warm and against your face, smelling faintly of the watermelon gum he chews. You have just a second to try and process it before heâs gaining a foothold. He stabilizes you with one thick arm under your thighs and his hand on your back. You reflexively gasp and clench the back of his jacket in your hands. Each of his steps is steady. Thereâs no sign of strain even as he navigates your bedroom doorway. He carefully lowers you to the edge of your mattress and withdraws his arm. Your thighs release their death grip against his hips and you settle into place, feet off the ground. You avoid looking at his face, you know yours feels like itâs on fire.Â
You notice that he had already moved your trashcan to your bedside and collected the first aid kit and a roll of paper towels. He must have known youâd cooperate with him. He drags your desk chair over and takes a seat. He pats his thigh encouragingly, and you place your heel right above his knee. He steadies you with a firm hand around your ankle. He removes the shards of glass. He doesn't let you jerk away, not with the grip he has on you, even when the tweezers catch on a particularly deep piece. He works in silence and you eventually allow yourself to lay flat on the bed while he does his task. You don't ask what happened to the man in the hallway. You don't ask how Six got detained in the first place. He doesnât volunteer the information. The time passes and youâre halfway asleep by the time heâs tying off the wrap securing the bandages on your other foot and carefully easing your leg back down from its elevated position on his thigh.Â
"Please stay." You ask the ceiling. You feel more than see Six freeze in response to your question.
âI shouldnât.â He sounds conflicted. You prop yourself onto your elbows to get a better look at him.
âDo you not want to?â
âItâs not that. Itâs anything but that.â
You bite your lip and decide to throw all your cards on the table. âI sleep better when I'm around you. You keep the nightmares away.â
He looks surprised, devastated even. His demeanor couldnât have been any different than if you had asked him to bare his neck and slit his own throat. Resigned, but he would still pick up the knife for you.
"Give me a minute," is his response.Â
He gathers up the supplies and turns off the light on his way out of the room, plunging you into the familiar dark of your room. You're not sure what exactly he does while heâs away, but he comes back sans jacket and with his sleeves rolled up. He carries the acidic tang of cleaning chemicals. He settles back into your chair after tossing the laptop on the desk. The two of you watch each other for a momentÂ
"Are you okay?"
"Emotionally? I've been better. Physically? I'm fine. Just a few scratches and a bruised ego. " He's soft. You nod, reassured. Â
You keep your eyes on his face. Itâs lit by the soft glow of the screen. Itâs become an unhealthy habit, observing this man. You drift off to sleep facing in his direction. He's there when you wake up. He's clearly gotten up at some point to shower, but he did come back to resume his sentence at your side. You greet each other and he excuses himself back to the common areas of the home.
âââ⻠·â· â»âââ
It becomes a thing, you spending time in his presence outside of what follows your nightmares. Something changed in you after the attack. It has culminated in a strong desire to be near him, to be within the frame of his reassuring gaze. Most of the time but not always, you go with him on his surveillance rounds. You walk with him through the yard. It always feels a little like youâre two society members having a chaperoned walk, but itâs soothing. Routine. Youâve also begun sitting with him in the hours before bed. At the table or on the couch while he watches the TV. The two of you simply exist together.Â
You rarely return to your room most nights, choosing instead to make your bed in the living room. If you lay just right on the couch, you can spot the bodyguard keeping watch throughout the night. His presence in the room eases your mind enough to allow you to peacefully sleep. You wish that he hasnât become so essential. You donât want to think about what your uncleâs return will mean.
He accepts your new routine without question. You notice that he always has the throw pillow moved from the armchair to the couch on the nights you donât tell him youâre going to bed. Thereâs no blanket in the living room, but you usually wake up with his jacket of the day draped over you in lieu of one.Â
âââ⻠·â· â»âââ
One night, you and Claire manage to bully him into a game of monopoly after the nurse leaves. Youâve been made the banker because Six doesnât trust your sister and she doesnât trust him enough either.Â
âYou just landed on my boardwalk. Thatâs fourteen hundred bucks.â Claire announces.
Six takes his hand off the game piece and gives her a look . âI thought you owned the brown properties, not the blue ones.âÂ
She picks up the deeds for Boardwalk and Park Place and waves them pointedly in his direction. âNope, fourteen hundred. Fork it over.â
Six lets out a genuinely flustered growl. You have to smother your laugh. He counts out the remainder of his money and tosses it in front of your sister. Heâs woefully short and out of assets. You and Claire had run him ragged the course of the game until she managed to bankrupt you with some suspiciously underhand tactics. Looks like she got to Six as well.Â
âIâm out.â He says, resigned.Â
Claire stretches her arms over her head and lets out a satisfied sigh. She then slumps back into her chair in smug victory as the bodyguard extracts himself from his seat at the table to do his nightly check of the doors and windows. She leans over and taps the watch on your wrist.Â
âHe hasnât won this back yet?â
âOh⊠uh. No.â Your answer sounds flustered, even to you.Â
Your little sister raises her eyebrows. Thereâs a mischievous gleam in her eyes and she opens her mouth to say something before pausing. She instead gets up and gives you a squeeze around the shoulders. You return it with a one armed hug. ââNight, sis.âÂ
ââNight. Iâll see you in the morning.â You return affectionately, letting her go.Â
ââNight, Robot!â She cheerily shouts. Thereâs a responding grumble from the direction of the garage. Claire flashes you a grin and a thumbs up.Â
Sheâs in her room by the time Six finishes his checks. Youâre in the middle of putting up the game when you feel the weight of his eyes on you. Itâs just the two of you alone. He sits back down at the table to help you with it. Heâs like a fire against your left side. Youâre surprised he didnât sit in his usual spot at the head of the table.
He lets out a yawn that he canât suppress. Heâs more undone tonight than youâve seen him yet. Heâs wearing a t-shirt tucked into slacks today. No blazer. His hair is tousled, not smoothed into place with product like usual. You think he looks more approachable like this. Your hands touch when you both go to scrape the same pile of deeds off the table. You both freeze. You hear your heart pounding in your ears and with it muffling every other sound, you trail your fingers over the top of his. He shudders when you brush over his knuckles and skim over the dots tattooed into the meat of his thumb. He doesnât move, staying perfectly still for your exploration. You reach the horse on his forearm and you think his breath hitches in response. You linger on the horse, using your pointer finger to trace its outline. You follow the swoop of its tail, down the outstretched hind leg.Â
A soft groan from the man youâre touching makes you remember yourself. You withdraw your hand like youâve been burnt. He twitches and jerks his own hand towards you like heâs about to reach out and stop you, but he doesnât. You can still feel the sensation of his skin under your fingertips even as you glue your eyes to the remaining monopoly money and sort it into the tray with unsteady hands. You finish putting up the game in silence. You sleep in your own bed that night. He escorted you to your room.Â
âââ⻠·â· â»âââ
You wake up weeping the next night. You lay on the couch staring at the living room ceiling while tears involuntarily run down the sides of your face. The imprint of spider webbing glass still swirling around in your mind. You must have made some kind of noise, because Six is making his way across the room.Â
You sit up and take a swipe at your face. âIâm sorry.â
"You have to let it out somehow. May I?â He asks, gesturing to the space next at your side. You nod and scoot over to give him slightly more space.
He puts the ever present laptop with its surveillance feed on the coffee table before sitting down. You feel your cushion dip. Against your better judgment, you lean against him. Heâs solid. He relaxes underneath the pressure of your body. You instantly feel better. You watch the cameras with him for a while, sighing along with him as the local monkeys throw the lid off the trashcan at the curb in search of a meal. Youâll have to clean up after them after the sun rises. Itâs one of the downsides to living in Hong Kong.Â
You stay leaning against him for a while, but a stiffness in your neck gets you to change position. Moving slowly so heâs fully aware of your movements, you carefully lay down. Heâs taken the place of your improvised throw pillow cushion. Your head is resting on his thigh. He puts his hand on your upper arm and gives it a reassuring squeeze. He leaves it resting there, heavy and warm.Â
You wake up a few hours later. The sun is cascading through the living room, throwing rainbow hues on the floor thanks to the decorative glassware. Youâre comfortable, too comfortable you realize. Your eyes widen in horrified surprise. Youâre still using the bodyguard as a pillow. He's shifted slightly through the night, more slumped and relaxed. He's slid down further, and your face is firmly pressed against his hip now instead of his thigh. You know that youâre going to have the imprint of one of his belt loops on your cheek. His arm is loosely draped over you with his hand tucked underneath your side, a bastardized attempt at spooning. You crane your neck to catch a glimpse of his face. Heâs sound asleep.Â
You try to sit up without disturbing him, but his arm tightens around you and applies pressure. Youâre locked into place. Your mind races. If the nurse or, worse, Claire comes into the room and sees you and Six like this⊠You have to get up. You put a hand on his thigh and use it as a support to push yourself up. Heâs instantly awake from the overt movement. He lifts his arm off your body and lets you sit up. You turn to say something, but find him already staring. His blue eyes are focused on you, theyâre sleepy and confused but quickly sharpen to alertness. He looks vaguely distressed. All you can do is offer him a smile and squeeze his leg. You stand up and he follows. Your day goes as usual.
âââ⻠·â· â»âââ
Your nights are largely the same, except that Six seems more distant. He doesn't linger as closely or as comfortably as he did before. Your interactions with the man are more professional. Itâs as though weeks, months , of getting to know each other have been erased and youâre back at the beginning. Strangers again. It hurts. You miss him like hell even though heâs right there. Your sleep is worse. Itâs almost as bad as in the weeks following the incident that started them in the first place, but theyâre different. Amongst the disjointed scenes, thereâs a broad shouldered man with dirty blond hair walking away from you in your nightmares now. You scream for him but no sound ever escapes you, just noiseless air. You never see his face.Â
You finally have enough when he escorts you to your room one night. You havenât slept on the couch for over a week, and heâs taken that as his cue to resume seeing you to your bedroom door. You turn to face him as always in the doorway. Instead of saying goodnight like you do every night, you confront him. It even catches you by surprise.
"You're avoiding me.â He doesnât deny it and you think that hurts more than the newfound distance itself.Â
âWhy?â You ask only to get more silence. He wonât look at you.Â
âWhat did I do wrong?â Your voice trembles and you hate it. You fumble to take off his watch, to return that final tie between the two of you. He reflexively clamps down on your wrist before you can undo the clasp, pinning your hand to your own wrist. He releases his near crushing grip almost immediately, but the ghost of it lingers. Point taken. You let your arms fall to your side in a clear display of frustration, willing him to talk.
âIt wasnât you. IÂ overstepped. Your uncle hired me to do a job and I've stepped beyond my purview. " The confession is rough. Torn out of him. The corner of his mouth pulls down in a grimace.
You stare at him blankly. "What?"
"I allowed myself to be too close with you. I apologize. I was unprofessional." He explains, but he won't quite meet your eyes. He hasn't for a while. Not since the morning following the night you fell asleep on him.
"You were... unprofessional?â You question, absolutely lost.
"Yes. I let my feelings about you affect me and my work.. Iâve become⊠compromised." It's matter of fact. Itâs said like he hadnât just dropped a bomb on you.
You reach out and grab his jacket lapels. He looks at you like a beaten dog might, as though you might strike him. He makes no motion to pull himself from your grasp. You swallow hard and let out a breath.
"What about my feelings for you?" You ask. His breath catches and he shakes his head, disbelieving.Â
âIt would be better if you didnât feel anything for me.â Thereâs heartbreak in his blue eyes even as he looks at you like thereâs nothing else in the world he would rather be seeing.Â
âBetter for who?â Your mouth is unbearably dry as you ask the question.
âYou. Iâll only jeopardize you.â
âSixâŠâÂ
You pull him down and you press your mouth against his. He's rigid and unmoving for a moment before he's kissing you like a dying man who has just been offered immortality. His hands come to rest on your back. He grips your clothing like itâs a lifeline keeping him from going under. You gently nip at his bottom lip and he gasps against your mouth, a broken little noise. He tastes like watermelon gum.
 You pull away. âJeopardize me then.
That forces a quietly helpless laugh from him. "Now that was unprofessional." His voice is hoarse.
"I had to give you a proper example."Â
"Good job. I feel exampled.â
" Good ." You say and kiss him again. He's ready for it this time. He keeps it slow. His hands gently trace your body. He's slowly rubbing his thumb back and forth against your side. You step back, walking him into your room. His breathing is ragged and he's gripping you with a desperation you canât put your mind around. You stand there, intertwined in each other. His facial hair is rough against your skin but the burn feels good. Your hands make their way around his neck and you gently card your fingers through the short hairs at the nape of his neck. He makes a wounded sounding noise in response before he pulls away. His hand is cradling the side of your face to keep you in place while his eyes roam across your face. It's as though heâsmemorizing you, imprinting the fine details of this moment into his mind. As though heâs preparing to say goodbye. He trails his fingers gently down your jaw before he lets his hand drop.
"Will you stay? Can we sleep?" You ask before he can make up a way to excuse himself.
Thereâs a dizzying moment of silence before his face softens. âOkay. Yeah.â
The two of you are left to navigate the awkwardness of getting ready for bed. You spin your finger around in a circle and Six immediately gets the idea. He puts his back to you while you change into your sleepwear as quickly as you can. You turn around after giving him the verbal âall goodâ in time to see him pull off his jacket and toss it onto the desk chair he had occupied when you first realized how addicted you were becoming to him. He pulls his belt off, coils it around his hand before setting it aside. You watch him unbutton his dress shirt. His fingers work deftly to slip the buttons through the holes. He shrugs the shirt off and lays it over the jacket. Heâs in his undershirt and slacks. He bends down to untie his shoes and sets them aside. He straightens up and thereâs nervousness on his face. Youâve never seen him nervous before. Worried? Yes, but not nervous.Â
You slide into the bed and fold down the other side of the blanket for him. You gesture for him to come lay down beside you. He approaches warily and settles in stiffly at your side. His head is on the pillow, hands overlapping on his stomach. He looks like a body in a coffin. You gently touch his hands. He jolts.
âAre you okay?â You ask softly, letting your hand rest on top of his.
âI havenât slept in the same bed as someone since I was a child,â he admits.
âOh⊠and that wasâŠ?â
âOver twenty-five years ago.â
You allow yourself a moment to grieve for this man before you pull away to shut off the bedside lamp.. You roll onto your back and flop your arms to the side. âCome here then. Iâve used you as a pillow. Itâs time for me to return the favor.â
You feel the mattress shift under his weight and he hesitates, hovering over you with arms braced on either side of your body. Itâs intimate, having him over you in this way. Itâs enough to make you want to kiss him again.You hear him draw breath to raise some kind of concern so you just wrap your arms around him and pull him down on top of you. The weight of him pins you into the mattress. Itâs comforting. Heâs heavy and warm, akin to a weighted blanket. Granted, a weighted blanket wouldnât have a muscular thigh wedged between your legs or be breathing against your neck in a way that makes you want to shiver. You fight to ignore your bodyâs response to him and work on easing the tension thatâs holding him rigid against you.Â
He gradually relaxes as you trace your hands over his back. You feel more than hear him groan when you pass over a particularly sensitive spot. The rumble feels almost like a purr against your chest. You narrow in on that location, working your fingers into the tight muscle. He allows himself to go limp on top of you, no longer stiffly trying to spare you the brunt of his mass. You run your fingers through his hair, gently scratching his scalp as a reward for letting himself relax. It earns you a low moan and an involuntary shift of his hips. Youâll have to keep that reaction in mind for later.Â
Sixâs breathing soon evens out. Years of exhaustion and sleep deprivation have him rapidly sinking into the oblivion of sleep when offered such a precious comfort. You fall asleep with your hand still in his hair. You have the most peaceful rest of your adult life. Thereâs no night terrors, no pain, no fear, no longing, you just sleep .
The bodyguard is still asleep on top of you when you wake. His breath is whistling slightly through his nose. Not quite a snore, but itâs a sound that gets a fond smile out of you. You wish you could wake up like this every morning. Just this once has given you an insatiable longing for more. You bite the inside of your cheek at the thought of the future. Uncle Fitz is due to return from his trip soon, which means the dismissal of Six from the Fitzroy home to complete whatever assignment is next on his task board. You donât figure him for the abandoning type though. That way of thinking about him doesnât fit in with the loyalty and thoughtfulness youâve seen him exercise in his time spent with you and your sister. Youâre sure that heâll find a way to stay in contact after this job ends.Â
You gently smooth down his hair. He shifts and buries his face against the hollow of your throat more firmly. You pause, hoping you didnât wake him, but then you hear a sleep roughened voice say, âDonât stop on my account.â
âI wouldnât dream of it.â
One time during chemo they took my BP and the nurse kinda froze for a second and my mom(a doctor) went âwhatâs the numberâ and the nurse said â60/40â and I was like âhmm I wonder what that meansâ so I i tried to sit up to look and realized it was a Bad Number cause I could not sit up and was suddenly Very Very Popular
Theyâre both silly guys with so much flair!
alastor is very megamind coded in a way i canât explain
Got some fics rattling around in the olâ noggin. May write about it. AO3 is @cozy_josieJosie | 23 | She/TheyPlease ask me questions(or just tell me your favorite color) :)
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