12/8/19

A Levels 2019 - an update

I’m not dead (yet!), although after my maths exams I’d like to be 🙃

I’m mad at the paper (Edexcel pure maths paper 2) and I’m even more mad at myself - I didn’t have time to think and overcome the obstacles that presented themselves so I came out of the exam facing the possibility of getting less than 20% and just realising my mistakes and how to do some questions. I was upset. There were tears.

HOWEVER, what’s done is done and I know that whatever letter I get at the end is not representative of my abilities. (I’m talking I might get an E or a U when the lowest I’ve got in my hardest mocks was an A... yeah it was bad.) I have done 7 exams and have 6 left. 2 of them are today, 13th June, the day after my most horrific exam yet - I have to pick myself up and move on.

I can do maths. I have learned so much that will be helpful to me in the future and that’s the main thing. I am 100% not stupid and I am ready to kick arse in my last exams.

Also a word of advice: don’t try to revise a whole module of biology the night before your exam. According to my mum, I woke up with a manic look in my eye xD

26/08/18 - I decided to try out my new stationery on some chemistry notes in preparation for the next academic year. Roll on Year 13!

25/9/19 Good morning

Induction day 2 :)

I love quiet mornings that just go your way. I also love staying dry... yesterday I got soaked to the extent of having actual puddles in my still-sodden boots and I sat through three hours of talks wet through and cold haha

18-19/11/2018 - 70-71 days of productivity

I’m having an awful mental health day. I don’t know if I’m worried about something or not... that is the beauty of depression. It’s been at bay for a while but I’m afraid it’s going to come back and I hate feeling like this :(

I just want a hug.

And to hear back from Cambridge. Anything. I don’t care if I get rejected, I just want to know.

Other than that, this morning was ok, and I got a fair amount done. It was my Maths morning today so I did a bunch of integration. Fun times!

Work experience!

So a bit of background: a charity called The Talent Tap approached my school last academic year for the first time ever and said they were looking to fund 2 weeks worth of work experience in London (and around it, in my case) for disadvantaged state school kids, would anyone like to apply?

I decided to put my name forward for interview, got in, and now you’re all caught up!

What a ride these 2 weeks have been. I spent week 1 at a biotech lab in Cambridge, where I actually got to do loads of lab work as well as meet people from all around the company.

Back in London for the weekend, there was a public speaking workshop on Saturday. I hate public speaking but I decided to put my all into it despite that. (And put my all in I did - my punishment for ultimately winning “best speech of the day” was to speak at the final drinks celebration on Thursday 18th July 2019.)

Week 2 was at a property investment management firm in London. We did a marketing project there... and while I quickly learned marketing really isn’t my thing, we did have a ton of guest speakers in - including a patent attorney or two, who piqued my interest.

My speech at the final celebration went amazingly (tip: wine helps) and I was congratulated by many of the businesspeople there. I was scared, but I tried my best to be brave. I was actually the only first year on the programme to win an award for being one of the best ambassadors for the scheme.

I am now working to secure placements for next year - one being with an IP law firm. Bring it on!

18/3/19 Essays in the fading light

So my mental health is struggling but I am self-aware enough to know that and I am actively getting some help because I don’t want a second bout of severe depression HOWEVER I know that my stress is transient and I will have the summer to recover. It isn’t worth destroying my brain and wellbeing for A Levels!

I decided to just write a plain old paper essay for German but then quickly remembered I can’t double tap the pen to erase my mistakes sooooo Tippex is my friend!

I freaking love my French teacher’s accent. She’s lived in England for a couple of decades but that’s still a part of her and it’s gorgeous

you know what? accents are actually lovely. like you can learn all the languages in the world and you still have a part of your own with you. that’s cute

How to be a white or non-black ally at a rally

via  @laurielovelugo 

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24/09/18 - 13 days of productivity // Day 1 of 7 in my life

Despite the raging cold, this is what my Monday looked like!

07:10 Wake up!

07:15 Brain training using Peak while having a bath

08:20 Finally got out the bath... don’t judge it was cold outside haha

08:30 Dressed and ready to knuckle down. I had taken my meds and made a cup of tea.

08:30-09:00 Chemistry homework!

09:00-09:30 German quizlets

09:30-11:20 Maths

11:20-11:45 Lunch!

11:45-12:30 More Maths

12:30-13:00 Break with my mum

13:05 Bus to school

13:30 Arrival at school - their lunchtime

14:00-15:00 Biology lesson

15:00-16:00 French lesson

16:16-16:30 Bus home

16:30-17:30 Chill (Skyped friends today)

17:30-18:10 More maths! Arithmetic progressions and all that jazz

18:10-18:30 Tea time! (Or dinner, depending on where you’re from)

18:30-19:10 French homework

19:10 Pack my bag for tomorrow, relax in my room with a cup of tea and Le Père Goriot

21:00 My bedtime - non-negotiable haha

carpe diem didn’t turn out too well for neil perry:(

i would love to carpe diem but i also have anxiety