Zodiac Signs And Humor

The Signs as Rain

Gemini: Sudden storm that wasn't on the forecast.

Cancer: A soft drizzle that you don't need an umbrella for.

Leo: Really loud rain that you can hear even when the windows are shut.

Virgo: Not even "rain" more like mist.

Libra: The first few drops before a HUGE storm

Scorpio: A FUCKING HURRICANE

Sagittarius: Really cold rain on a hot day.

Capricorn: The extra rain drops the day after a storm that balance on leaves and fall when the wind blows.

Aquarius: A loud thunderstorm with lots of lightning and harsh wind.

Pisces: The smell before it actually starts raining.

Aries: Rain when the wind blows it sideways and you still get wet even though you have an umbrella.

Taurus: A storm that lasts for days on end.

Lilith as Complexes

Lilith in Aries: Icarus Complex

Lilith in Taurus: Cleopatra Complex

Lilith in Gemini: God Complex

Lilith in Cancer: Inferiority Complex

Lilith in Leo: Ego Complex

Lilith in Virgo: Martyr Complex

Lilith in Libra: Adonis Complex

Lilith in Scorpio: Don Juan Complex

Lilith in Sagittarius: Messiah Complex

Lilith in Capricorn: Superiority Complex

Lilith in Aquarius: Napoleon Complex

Lilith in Pisces: Cassandra Complex

Ariadne: Heph, Dio's missing. Can you find him?

Hephaestus: Do you think I have him microchipped, or something?

Ariadne: Well, do you?

Hephaestus:

Hephaestus: Yeah, hang on...

Samelia Pondchester Week, Day One: Jealousy

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Quotes for the signs

Aries : "You can love a monster, it can even love you back, but that doesn’t change its nature."

Taurus : "I can never fight for myself, but, for others, I can kill."

Gemini : "You are damaged and broken and unhinged. But so are shooting stars and comets."

Cancer : "And sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in."

Leo : "I am destroying myself so other people can’t and it’s the worst kind of control but it’s the only form I know."

Virgo : "I exist too much, I feel too much, think too much. Reality is crushing the life out of me."

Libra : “You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it.”

Scorpio : “The monsters were never under my bed. Because the monsters were inside my head.”

Sagittarius : "She had a passionate longing for the garden, the darkness, the pure sky, the stars."

Capricorn : "I’m a sad collection of maybes and almost."

Aquarius : "I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not."

Pisces : "She liked to disappear, even when she was in the same room as other people. It was a talent, as it was a curse."

Sadness expressions of the Zodiac Signs

Aries : Rage, impulsivity and failure to get worked up about the things they normally do, oppositional but with less verve and energy

Taurus : Isolation, binge eating and lethargy, a sense of ‘me against the world’, less patience, easier to enrage

Gemini : Silence, nerves, over thinking, easily distractible and seems ‘elsewhere’; they are fairly intolerable to sadness they tend to detach/dissociate from feelings after a short while

Cancer : Teariness, neediness, isolation, binge eating, crying after insignificant events, stomach aches, a feeling of separation from everyone around them

Leo : Obvious displays of stress, they become like a wound up string and as if they are on the brink of a nervous break down. Short tempered and needy (only around close friends/family) and become martyred

Virgo: Isolation, heightened compulsions (cleaning, washing hands more etc;), unresponsive in conversations, at time blunt and more oppositional Libra : General feeling of instability/moodiness, reduced urge to socialize/be with friends, hopelessness, a feeling of being disliked/rejected by everyone, you can sense them ‘trying’ to be happy and keep composed

Scorpio : Isolation, opposition, hostility and violent mood swings. Intense melancholy with at times delusions and paranoia. Thoughts even scary to them, a sense of ‘me against the world’.

Sagittarius : Lethargy, escapism (substance use etc;), uncharacteristically more serious and tense, less tolerance, feelings of worry when thinking into the future

Capricorn : Demotivation, lethargy, hopelessness, over thinking, they seem tense and ‘overly alert’, hyper vigilant, force themselves to ‘go through the motions’, nothing impresses them

Aquarius : Uneasy, harder to ‘reach’; as if they are far away. Silence, isolation, detachment, even though they try to appear happy. Distracted

Pisces : Teariness, anxiety, isolation, when they feel sadness they tend to feel ‘all at once’, nerves, obsessive/ruminating thinking, remembering everything bad that ever happened to them, crying over insignificant events

More Fun Zodiac Facts Here

THE SIGNS AS EGYPTIAN GODS

Aries: Apophis; God of war and chaos, and snakes.

Taurus: Geb; God of the earth and fertility.

Gemini: Seshat; Goddess of writing, measurement, and mathematics.

Cancer: Nut; Goddess of the moon, skies, and stars.

Leo: Bastet; God of cats, protector of children and pregnant women.

Virgo: Tefnut; Goddess depicted as lion, ruled over water and fertility.

Libra: Isis; Goddess of magic, protection, healing, and love.

Scorpio: Anubis; God of the dead, funerals, and mourning.

Sagittarius: Thoth; God of scribes, wisdom, and knowledge.

Capricorn: Osiris; God of the underworld and afterlife.

Aquarius: Horus; God of the sky, battle, and falcons.

Pisces: Kebechet; Goddess of purification. Depicted as wandering goddess or lost child.

The Signs as Relaxing Things

Taurus: Leaning against the windowsill at the top of a skyscraper and looking at all of the tiny people and cars.

Gemini: A late night bonfire on the beach with the waves crashing underneath the laughter of your friends.

Cancer: Sleeping in on a sunday morning and waking up to the smell of fresh bacon and eggs.

Leo: Watching the sun rise because you've up all night.

Virgo: Cuddling with your cat and watching netflix because you have a cold and got to stay home from school.

Libra: Having your favorite song come on the radio as you cruise down the highway.

Scorpio: Hearing the love of your life say "I love you" right before you fall asleep.

Sagittarius: Taking a shower with lavender soap and washing your hair with creamy shampoo and feeling like a flower for the rest of the day.

Capricorn: Wearing a sweater that's too big so that you can make sweater paws.

Aquarius: Dance parties to those old songs on your phone that you forgot you had even bought but still know every word to.

Pisces: The smell of fresh pizza when it is delivered to your house.

Aries: When you're at a concert and the slow song plays and everyone waves their lights in the air to the beat.

Please don't copy to other sites without permission. I done this piece as while ago at Christmas, only just feel comfortable sharing it. Please let me know what you think

The Signs: Dark Rulerships

Dark and unusual things over which each sign rules.

Aries: accidents, barren places and burned ground, cuts, doorways, insomnia, nosebleeds, skulls, surgery, thistles, trances, wolves

Taurus: coins, dogma, strangulation, gluttony, psychometry, suspect and unsafe places

Gemini: breath, pupils, rumors, chests, crystals, hounds, ribs, forgetting, pillars

Cancer: blood serum, graves, onyx, cellars, cradles, marshes, night flowers, glass, wells

Leo: fortresses and lairs, arrogance, chamomilla, ballrooms, circuses and playgrounds, vomiting

Virgo: black cats, fractured bones, libraries, intestines, conceit and inferiority, sick rooms, parasites

Libra: vines and lilies, marble, trials, alcoves and closets, vertebrae, forests, manipulation, attics

Scorpio: cesspools, bile, funerals and embalmers, magic, foul odors and stagnant water, blood red, vermin and mobs

Sagittarius: the spine, altars, visions and prophecy, incense, holy books, arteries

Capricorn: decay, abandoned places, thorns and nightshade, bones, coffins and mortuaries, gates, acid and ashes

Aquarius: ether and blood, radio static, teeth, rebellions, black pearls, nuclear weapons

Pisces: abbeys, enemies, hospitals and anesthetics, veils, outcasts and charlatans, clairvoyance, gasoline, mazes, falsity, self-undoing