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17. (they/them) chicanx, intersectional feminist, and aspiring activist. avid bee lover and ant enthusiast. wannabe thottie

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Reality

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary - Natasha had always had nightmares, but your imagination seemed to cover your grief as Nat wakes up with tears in her eyes again. Goodbyes never were pleasant.

Warnings; Sad.

Not my GIF!!

The gentle sounds of snores lingered in the air. Natasha's warmth radiated off her body and onto your own, relaxing you into a state of serenity you wished you could keep forever. Still, the quite relaxing atmosphere wasn't enough to put you back to sleep. Your eyes traced Natasha's features as her gentle breathing fanned your face.

She was stunning. Everything about her was so perfect it felt surreal such beauty existed. Her eyes, when they were open of course, were tender while her jawline sharp. The perfect contrast.

You got lucky. Really fucking lucky. Maybe the younger you. The one before the world corrupted your head, the happy you, wouldn't question if you deserved such love. Maybe someday you'll realise that you really loved her, more than life itself.

You were still waiting for that day. The small whine escaped Natasha's mouth pulled you from your thoughts. Her brows were now furrowed, a slight frown visible in her features. You lifted yourself up with the help of your elbow, lightly pressing your palm to her cheek. She flinched, still deep in sleep.

Your brows creased in confusion, your thumb wiping away the single tear that ran across the bridge of her nose.

"Hey, Nat?" You whispered, careful as not to scare her more than she already seemed to be. She only got worse, her body curled up into a ball, her hands flinching up towards her face as if to protect herself. Your heart broke as you sat up fully, carefully grabbing her shoulder and shaking it to wake her up from her nightmare. She flinched yet again at your touch, but relaxed into it when she realised you weren't going to hurt her.

Her breathing became rapid, breaths short. She brought her knees to her chest, burying her head further her into the pillow as one of her hands scratched at your leg when she felt contact on her body. It didn't hurt, you were more concerned about the state she was in.

Sweat appeared on her face, a thin layer covering her forehead as she whimpered pleads into the air.

She woke up with a gasp, her hands instantly grabbing your wrists in self defence. She squeezed your skin harshly, sitting up as her breathing hitched.

"Love, you're okay. It's me." You whispered and she immediately let go of your hands. She was shaking, her whole body now covered in a thin layer of sweat. She wouldn't look you in your eye, only staring at your wrists where she held you seconds before, then her gaze turned to look at your leg where she'd scratched. Then her head dropped completely.

You covered the scratch marks with one of your hands while the other caressed strands of hair behind her ear.

"Nat?"

Her whole body shook, hair sticking to her wet forehead. Gently, you moved your hand so it gripped the back of her neck, bringing her closer to your chest. It wasn't long before she was sobbing into your shoulder, soaking the material of your shirt with her tears.

You kissed the top of her forehead, whispering sweet nothings into her hair while drawing shaped into her shoulder. She hand gripped your shirt, trying to pull you impossibly close to her. You didn't mind, you continued to try and relax her as she calmed down, slowly but surely her breathing returning to normal.

Her hand caressed where she scratched your skin, where she left red marks in your leg. You intertwined your fingers with hers, stopping her from touching the scratches.

"Don't worry about it," you told her, giving her a final kiss before lifting your arm, her hand still interwoven with yours, to lift her head from under her chin. Her eyes glistened with the tears she sobbed out seconds before, eyes red and puffy.

"Love, it wasn't your fault,"

She stared into your eyes a little longer before dropping her head back down and placing it on your chest.

"Why aren't you mad?" She whispered, running her thumb up and down your hand.

"I'd never be mad at you, love."

A scoff left her throat. "No. Why aren't you mad I left?"

"What?"

"I saved you, I brought you back."

"What are you talking about?" You questioned. Her body disconnected from yours, lifting her head she smiled up at you, bringing a hand up to your cheek.

"You need to move on. I brought you back. Go live it with someone real. Someone who'll take care of you." A tear escaped your eye. Nat was quick to wipe it away.

"Don't leave me again," you cried in a whisper. "I need you Nat."

She smiled again, the tears that once represented sadness now gone, eyes filled up with hope, a feeling that told you that you were ready.

"I need to go now. Don't push everyone away. For me please. Remember I loved you so much,"

"Come visit me again?" You sobbed, still holding her in your arms. "I can't do this without you. Just one more time, please. I love you so much,"

"You said last time 3 times ago." She giggled, dropping her arm from your cheek. "Promise me, you'll let me go,"

You shook your head immediately, breaking eye contact from her gaze. You wiped your nose with the sleeve of the hoodie you wore.

"It's okay." She cooed.

"Let me go,"

You blinked down at her. Her body no longer there. Tears rolled down your cheeks, arms holding the pillow she used to sleep on. You sniffed, trying to regulate your breathing, trying to fight to urge to call her back. But you knew. You knew she wouldn't come back. Maybe the younger you, the one when Natasha was alive, didn't realise that you were unconditionally in love with her.

Now that day has come. And you spend it alone, cradling the pillow she slept on while you lay in bed with her favourite hoodie hugging your shoulders.

You were ready. Both of you were.

At least she knew you loved her in the end.

And you knew she loved you back.

Hey y'all I just wanted to to notify all my followers that I will no longer use this blog I have a newer one in which I will be using. If you would want to follow the newer blog here it is @cat34p

Please let there be a second part. It hit me right in da 💔😭

Alexia, mi reinita, mi amor, mi todo | Alexia Putellas x Reader

A/N: Not me wanting to get this out still on Alexia's birthday like I'm turning an essay in at midnight. Ok honestly I would write a part two of this but that's only if people are interested. Again requests are closed for now.

So it's a little angsty, has a little hurt/comfort (I know this woman gives the best hugs let's be real), and some Alexia fluff.

Based on this prompt list: #4, #20

Warnings: Anxiety/panic attack symptoms

WC: 1860

Alexia had resolved it in herself that she would use whatever leverage she had to have you stay at Barcelona. She was not the type to use that card…she was not that kind of player…the type to threaten to leave to get what she wanted, but the thing she wanted was you. She had tried to speak with some of the staff about it but they were “conveniently busy”. With no success, she texts you “Voy a casa, te veo pronto, amor” (I’m going home, I’ll see you soon, love)  before driving over to your shared home.

Barcelona was dragging their feet with regards to your contract of whether you would be renewed or be traded to some other club, some other league, some other country. You had spent 4 years dedicated to Barcelona and had earned your spot in the midfield. The statistics you pulled throughout your career there were phenomenal, the kind that made your girlfriend proud to see because she was there from the beginning. So why was Barcelona playing a cat and mouse game with your livelihood?

______________________________________________________________

“Alexia, mi Reinita, mi amor, mi todo (my little queen, my love, my everything),

You know that I am better with my words written on paper than spoken to you. You still make me nervous when I look at you; I still blush as quickly as I did when we first met. I write this to you because I’m going to America to Bay FC…the deal has been done and the announcements will be out in a couple of weeks, but I wanted you to be the first to know. 

______________________________________________________________

The amount of times that Alexia had found you at that kitchen table with your head covered by your arms crying out your frustrations at another deal that went nowhere. She would never say a word and just quietly wrapped her arms around you and kissed the back of your head before laying hers on it. Once the crying stopped her hand would gently rub your back until eventually you began to move and pulled her into a hug with your head at her abdomen with a quick whisper of “let’s go to sleep”. Her only words would be “of course, cariño (dear)”.

______________________________________________________________

I know how you are mi amor (my love) but fighting the club is not worth it. It is hard to swallow the reality that the club that I grew up watching, grew up to play in, does not carry the same love and dedication I had for them…for me. You were one of the first people I met 4 years ago when I transferred from my club team in Mexico. It was a big move and you were there to just welcome me in, you knew immediately that I did not take change very well and was uncomfortable with everything. 

______________________________________________________________

Alexia, at some point, blocked some sports news outlets on your social media because of how overwhelming the “(y/n) Transfer Rumor” posts were getting for you. You did not want to leave Barcelona, you had made a home there with Alexia and the thought of leaving all of what you had terrified you. 

You could already hear the comments from the “fans” questioning your loyalty, why you couldn’t just confirm that you would be staying at Barça or leaving the team all together, why you were silent on the rumors? Alexia would be there with her head on your shoulder quietly holding you in the kitchen quieting the noises in your head with a simple kiss to the temple.

“Mi princesa, go sit down.. I’ll make dinner” she’d whisper into your hair as she led you to the table and made dinner while you watched with warmth at the woman before you. 

______________________________________________________________

I remember you would tease me about my accent when I spoke Spanish and said you would give me lessons if I made you a bag after you saw me crocheting mine on the bus to my first away game. I know that the Spanish lessons were just a way to spend time with me. You could have asked me to be with you at any point and I would have said yes. I remember you teaching me how to dance in our kitchen one night after saying that I was worried about making a fool out of myself at my brother’s wedding. I’m going to miss our 3 am dances we would do when I was pacing the kitchen stressed out of my mind on this transfer.

As you said, “Here I don’t want you to walk back and forth alone, just dance with me instead…I'm here”. I still remember the feeling of you under my palms; every curve, every line as I would take the lead of the dance and you would look at me calmly guiding my hands like how you did when you first taught me…yeah I’ll miss those quiet moments the most. 

______________________________________________________________

You had not gone to practice that morning due to stomach issues and you had to basically push Alexia out of the door so that she went to practice. 

“I’ll get some rest do not worry, mi Reinita” You say as she answers with a quick kiss.

She grabs her bags and gives another kiss pulling you in,“I’ll be home as soon as I'm done ok?”.

As Alexia entered through the doorway of the shared home and saw several moving boxes littered on the floor. Confused, she looks for you as there is not the usual soft music that you play when you are doing chores and finds you wrapped in a blanket sound asleep on the coach.

Her bag is gently put to the ground as she rounds the corner of the coach. She sees the coffee table littered with papers and your phone with an unread message from her.

She quietly looms over the papers, seeing a copy of your original Barcelona contract, the proposal, the rejection to the proposal, another club offer and, finally, the letter to confirm intention to transfer. Your phone lights up with another notification; getting the attention of Alexia who notices the handwritten letter that remained unfinished under your phone. 

You were a semi - heavy sleeper so she picked up the letter and began to read as her soft smile appeared, fell and then reappeared.  The boxes made sense now, you were organizing your things ahead of time to leave. Seems that you received the news that morning, explaining why the staff were busy when Alexia tried her best to speak with them.

She looked down at your handwriting again…she’s so familiar with it as you have always littered her spaces with sticky notes of encouragement, love and everything in between. You always thought she had thrown them away but on your 2nd year anniversary she showed you the box where she had kept every single note that you had written to her. 

It didn’t matter to her; she kept all the ones that said “Hi Ale, can you get some milk?”, “Reinita, there is dinner in the fridge”, “I’m too lazy, I ordered pizza oh and I guess Patri is coming over?’ 

This letter no matter how long she will keep especially close to her.

Alexia sat at the other end of the coach and began to read the last bit of the letter.

______________________________________________________________

I know that I will be so far from you and that you will miss the things that I do. You were always a romantic like that mi amor (my love). That’s why I am going to leave you my favorite book, the one that I always read way too many times and have cried over just as much. The only thing that I ask is that you don’t open it until I am gone and you are missing me. Just saying not to is going to make you want to open the book even more but please listen to me on this one. :)

I don’t know what the fixtures of the NWSL are yet but I know that you will want to -

______________________________________________________________

You stir and stretch out your legs pushing Alexia in the process. The resistance pulled you from your sleep.

Alexia laughs softly as she pats your leg, “Sleep well, cariño (dear)?” 

You only nod as you rub the sleep from your eyes. Without a word, you sit up and look at Alexia who fiddles with the note that you had written. 

“I wish I was at least awake when you found out, amor (love)” you start as you shift over to be closer to her.

“Are you mad at me?” your head now lying on her shoulder.

Alexia looks, almost, offended at the comment as she turns to you.

“This is your decision, cariño, you know that I will support in whatever you do and wherever you go…I’m sad, yes, but seeing you living out your dreams has been a honor for me…so no I’m not mad solamente bien orgullosa de ti (only very proud of you)”.

She pulls you closer, her hand softly rubbing your arm as she hears the small sniffles coming from you.

“Promise me you’ll watch at least one game” you say softly.

Alexia laughs and kisses the top of your head, “Amor, I’ll watch every one”.

______________________________________________________________

The announcement came and went and so did you. You found yourself preparing for the inaugural season for Bay FC. The fans had taken a liking to you immediately and the management welcomed you with open arms. 

Alexia, remained in your shared home that now was quieter without your presence. The spaces that normally were filled with little posts were bare, the days for chores weren’t filled with your questionable music, and Alexia no longer needed to dance in the kitchen at 3 am.

After a particularly hard practice, Alexia returned home missing you more than usual. As she plopped down on the coach her eyes fell on your book that you left behind for her.

She remembered that you had asked her to not open it until you were gone to your new club.

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg, it was the book that you read every year during the summer without fail. No matter how many times you read it, Alexia would see you tear up and close the book to compose yourself before continuing. 

She got the book and opened to the first page and seeing a small, sticky note,

“I miss you, mi reinita”.

Alexia flipped the page and found another one,

“You can text my mom for her soup recipe, she’d only give it to you”

A laugh escapes her as she continues through the book finding more and more of your notes that you had written out. She skips to the end and finds an older looking note.

“I love you, Alexia Putellas…” with the date of your 1st anniversary with Alexia.

And below with newer ink and dated the day that you had left.

“And I… I still love you, even after all of this time”.

🤌😏

Wild Ride Part 2

Y/N and Alexia texted for weeks after the event. Their schedules were all over the place, especially after Alexia received her second Ballon d'Or. On a random evening, Alexia took advantage of her afternoon off and FaceTimed Y/N out of the blue.

The midfielder, happy that she could see Y/N's face for the first time in a week in something else than an Instagram post or from a news outlet, waived to her favourite racing driver "Hiiii" she exclaimed. Shocked as she realised Y/N was still in bed and appeared to be topless. "I caught you in a bad time huh" she laughed nervously. "Um... no I just woke up don't worry" the driver laughed rubbing her eyes in an attempt to wake up "Oh I gotta get ready to catch my flight actually" the driver added.

Alexia, who started to pout, tried to keep the driver on FaceTime for a little longer "Aw really? And you are going to leave me here all lonely with nothing to do?". The driver, who had gotten to know Alexia's mischievous side quickly realised what the midfielder was implying "If you want my media team to get a show go right ahead hottie" she teased sending the midfielder a wink. "There is someone there with you?" Alexia asked worried at the possible answer Y/N could give her "What!? Nooo" the driver laughed before she changed the topic "I'm sure I'm getting a room for my home race in a couple of days ya know" she started "You could make that room feel a little less lonely" the driver added inviting the midfielder.

Alexia started to blush "Oh- Actually I already have tickets for the race" she bragged as she recomposed herself "There is some hot driver racing for a team I'm ambassador for" she added teasing the driver back "Hot you say.. now would you introduce me to said driver?" the driver played into Alexia's teasing.

The driver got ready for her flight as she chatted to the Barcelona midfielder on FaceTime making sure she got her to sit in the VIP stands of the Cupra team.

Being their home race, the Cupra team got the race track all to themselves the night before race day, so as per Cupra tradition, the team rode their bicycles for a whole lap, talking about possible strategies. Y/N, who had invited Alexia out on track opted to walk "Why are we the only ones walking" asked the midfielder clearly confused "Well you just started your recovery for your knee" the driver replied "I didn't want you to force it for a silly ride out on track" she added. The midfielder was stunned at how considerate Y/N was "So you decided to break your team's tradition" she teased "Hey-" the driver replied giving Alexia a slight nudge "I could just leave you out here alone in the middle of the night and ride with them" she added.

The two of them kept joking around as they made their way around the track, when they got back to the pits, Y/N was called to their team's dinner "You hungry?" Y/N asked the midfielder leaning her phone away from her mouth. The midfielder nodded "Add one more to the table please" Y/N said before she hung up. "We shouldn't make them wait long" the driver said "They are like gremlins when not fed" she joked leading Alexia to the elevator.

The elevator stopped abruptly making Alexia scared "WHA- what is happening" the midfielder grabbed onto the drivers arm "Don't worry" Y/N tried to calm the midfielder down, bringing the Barcelona player closer to her body, "There is an emergency line for a reason" she added. "Hi- um we are stuck in the elevator" the driver talked to the emergency line "Yes, remain calm, help is on their way" the caller replied making small talk with the two stars.

Alexia, who was still scared, held on to the driver harder. "So... does the elevator have cameras?" Y/N asked the emergency line, the voice on the other side of the call laughed "No, no we aren't allowed to film inside the elevator" they replied. "Great! Well we will leave you to you other emergencies" the driver joked, politely insinuating that they wanted to be left alone.

"She was flirty huh" Alexia mumbled, her neck buried in Y/N's neck "I sense some jealousy coming from somewhere" the driver joked "I- I just can't point at the source" she added as she grabbed Alexia's face. Pointing to her cheek "From here? I don't think so" she said, looking at Alexia's eyes "Nope not from here either" she added before she placed a finger on the midfielder's lips "Oh maybe-" the driver kissed Alexia as she pulled away the midfielder replied cheekily "Looks like we'll be trapped for a while..." she pulled the driver in for another kiss "Might as-well make the best of it" she added.

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History (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: Am I happy with this, i’m not sure but I started and finished it so why not post it.

There was a lot of history behind El Classico and over the last couple of years the women’s game became just as highly anticipated as then mens. With you leading Madrid and Alexia leading Barcelona. You were two of the best players in Spain, during the league you despised each other and with the national team you managed to play well together but that’s the limit to your partnership. It was a rivalry that went deeper than the surface, you and Alexia both having different reasons for the hostility you showed each other.

For the first time in the clubs history both El Classico’s would take place on the same day. The women had a 12 o’clock kick off at Estadio Alfredo Di Stefano and the men would be play at the Bernabéu at 4 o’clock. 

All of the Real Madrid girls would attend the game. Some planned on watching it their families, whilst others including you, had been invited to watch the game from one of the owners box’s. A few of your team mates asked if they could invite some of the Barcelona players to watch the game with them and who were you to say no. 

Your match was challenging to say the least. Both teams wanted to put on a show given that the game was sold out. You and Alexia butted heads, figuratively speaking, several times. That is until the last ten minutes of the game, the game is tied 0-0 and you have a corner. You jump for the head when your Barcelona counter part elbows you the face. 

Alexia tries to check on you but you know it is fake concern which only pisses you off more. 

“Really, we’re playing kind of game are we?” You shove her away. 

“I didn’t even touch you” within seconds she is back in your face. 

“Captains, everything alright?” The referee comes on to you. 

“Ask her again in a few minutes” you body check Alexia before going back to you position. 

Alexia watches you walk away and for a brief moment she allows her eyes to linger. The White kit really did suit you, this season you opted for white boots meaning then when you play at home you are in white head to toe. Your naturally tanned skin making your muscle look like they were sculpted. The sight alone reignited feelings she once buried deep.

During the final play of the game Olga plays you a ball down the wing and as you run for it Alexia is right in your tail. Seeing Nahikari making her way to the box, you know you need to slow the play down to give her time, this means you have to go one of one with Alexia. Knowing getting around her will be difficult you choose option B, go through her. 

You do so cleanly and she cannot argue the tackle. You send the ball in and it lands perfectly at Nahkiri feet who then slots it in the back of the net. 

You run past Alexia to celebrate with your team but not before turning around sending her a smug wink. 

The game ends 1-0. The women have done their job now it’s a quick shower and change so that you can see if the men can do theirs. 

You look around the pitch at full time and see that a few Barcelona players have family in the crowd and are staying out to talk to them, Alexia included. 

“You and Y/N re getting worse.” Alba states and Alexia ignores her sisters question knowing that she is right.

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