I Want One Of Those Scenes In A Dude Bro Film Where “tomboy” Chick Has To Wear A Dress To Go Undercover

“Look, I had no idea vampires were real. Why would I have believed that?”

MA? MAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAM?!?!…MAAAA oh there you are!” (via)

Into the unknown.........

…and she’s gone 

Batman, over the phone: You uhh… You guys still there? Red Hood/Jason: Yeah no, we’re still here ummm can…Can you run that back again? There’s, there’s no way that we heard that right. Batman/Bruce: I want you to stay on the lookout for Skeletor. Red Hood: All right, ok, so we did, we did hear that right it was just fucking dumb. Nightwing/Dick: Bruce I think you might need to clarify more cause that seems like you’re just saying that as a turn of phrase. Are we hunting for Doctor Destiny or what? Batman: Listen this is all I know, you’re looking for a large man with a skull for a head, in a suit that is covered in bones, who is wearing a cape, with a voice that sounds like two chalkboards trying to kill each other. Red Hood: Ok, that does sound a lot like Skeletor. Nightwing: Does he have like a name of any kind or does he literally go by Skeletor? Batman: Alright so there’s the thing, I’m gonna be honest with you Dick, I got so annoyed at his voice that I started blocking things out. I don’t remember exactly what his name was, it was Lord Something-or-Other I don’t… Robin/Damian: Lord Death Man. Batman: Wait hold on a second, what? Robin: The guy, his name is Lord Death Man. Batman: Oh, sweet. Good Job. How did you remember that? Robin: He’s my girlfriend’s boss. Batman: Oh ok cool… WHAT?! Nightwing: Bruce? Bruce you there? Bruuucccee? Red Hood: Dick? Nightwing: BRUCE! And I think he hung up on us. We need to teach him how to hangup the phone like a proper human being. Red Hood: Dick. Nightwing: Like he’s been hanging up the phone like he’s in a movie since I was a god damn Robin. I mean you’d think living in a house with the most polite person on the planet he’d learn to hang up the phone like a normal human being… Red Hood: DICK!   Nightwing: What! Red Hood, nodding his head towards something off screen. Nightwing: What are you looking at? *camera pans to Lord Death Man crouched behind an object, ineffectuality attempting to hide* Nightwing, whispering: What the fuck is he doing? Red Hood, whispering back: I think he thinks we can’t see him. Nightwing, still semi-whispering: He’s just crouching there. He’s not even hiding that well. Why would we not be able to see him? Red Hood: Hey! LDM, looks around. Red Hood: Yeah you. Buddy! LDM, stands slowly: Yes? Red Hood: You Skeletor? LDM: N..no. Red Hood: Okay. Who, uhh… Who are you then? LDM: L..Larry. Red Hood, quietly to Nightwing: This motherfucker just say Larry? Nightwing: What’s your uhh… What’s your deal man? LDM: I am to be Batman’s nNemisis for I can not DIE! *Red Hood immediately shoots LDM in the head* Nightwing: HOLY SHIT JASON WHAT THE FUCK MAN? Red Hood, casually: What, you heard him. He said he couldn’t die. Nightwing: And you just took him on his word for that!? Red Hood: Dude’s dressed as skeletons usually only have one type of power, come on. Nightwing: He better start fucking breathing. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Come on, come on. LDM: *gasps back to life* Nightwing: Oh thank fuck! LDM: You SHOT ME! Red Hood: Oh my god your voice somehow got worse. Nightwing: Hey Jack Skellington, you still all there? LDM:  I still have all my memories, yes. Like all the Pokemon and their evolutions. *Red Hood shoots LDM in the head again* Nightwing: JASON WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT! Why did you even do that?! Red Hood, deadpan at the camera: I absolutely hate forced reference jokes because they are extremely lazy and they piss me the fuck off. Nightwing, quietly as an aside: I wouldn’t do that. People got real mad when Batman did that last time. Red Hood: I’m wearing a beanie and he’s in shorts. What the fuck do you want me to do? Nightwing: Alright that’s a fair point. LDM, wheezing back to life: I thought it was funny. *Red Hood instantly shoots him again* Nightwing: DUDE! Red Hood: Alright, I’m done.    

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Kedi. Dir. Ceyda Torun. 2016.