Meeting Xander

Meeting Xander

Trigger warnings: Christianity, queer harassment

Xander Character sheet: Age at death - XX XXX-XXX

Xander used to be Alexander, but he’s a disgrace. He’s a fallen angel, a fallen cupid. But he’s not bad. He just didn’t agree. Xander spends his days roaming the human world, watching it evolve. He’s been here watching them evolve for centuries now, he hasn’t kept count. He watched them evolve before though too, when he worked for God. When he was a Cupid, an angel of love.

Xander kept up with the human trends, he kept a lustful outfit with reds and black. A shaggy wolf cut ending around his shoulder of black hair and pink strands framing his face. When he was hidden in his angel form his wings were out, large and white with rainbow hearts on the tip of the feathers. They were worn and rough from his fall. His eyes are a soft pink like aphrodisiacs, and a third eye is placed on top of his forehead, scarred, that sees relationships and futures. A special power only a few have when born, and it cannot be taken away. Xander often spends nights among humans in nightclubs with his wings hidden and his third eye closed in order to keep an eye on his community and to keep them safe.

All other powers were stripped from him when he fell. When he disgraced God. When he asked too many questions. But what else was he supposed to do when he continued to see the mistreatment of people they made? The people they made, the people who are harmed because of the people they love in the name of God. In the name of sin. Is it fair to let these people continue this abuse against queers because they believe it’s wrong? Because they believe they should pass the judgment of God?

Xander brought these concerns to God, wanting to help the people he truly feels his work is devoted to. God ignored his concerns though, he gave humans free will and they shall do as they please with it. They will have their judgement come soon enough. He couldn’t let it go though. Xander took all the queer jobs and worked hard, bending rules, to keep them safe and happy.

Word got around and Xander lost his bow. God offered retraining to keep his job but he broke. Xander broke and yelled.

 “How can you allow them to do this? It’s disgusting, and to sit back and allow people to harm someone else just because of free will makes you a lousy ruler. Their judgement day may come but someone needs to protect the queers, you made them how they are. What happened to love thy neighbour? Don’t you love all your children the same? How can you let them die, how can you let them be abused and assaulted and murdered because of how you made them!” Xander yelled shaking with rage.

God did not take that well and banished Xander taking his powers and throwing him to Earth. He didn’t mind though, he spent his time wandering and watching his people. Watching the lovers. Helping them when he could such as protests and keeping gay bars safe.

Xander was in his hidden form on a bench watching people walk by smiling softly. The fight is still going but in America, the place where he mostly resides, gay marriage is legalized. There’s much more to do still but it’s better than before. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Xander sees some wings. He hasn’t talked with another angel since he was banished. Xander looked over and recognized her as one of the new guardian angels, he couldn’t remember her name and never bothered to pay attention to God’s workers now. He has no respect for God anymore but many of their workers have no idea what they do and believe.

“Hello, uhm I don’t think I’ve met you before?” she says.

“Probably not, I don’t work for God. I’m fallen.” Xander says watching her curiously.

“Fallen? You used to be an angel?”

“Yes, I used to be a cupid. Not anymore. They didn’t like how I saw things. How I did things”

“You did things differently?”, Adora crinkles her brows. Of course, she had heard of fallen angels and how they were cursed because they did things differently. It was a lesson in her schooling. It was rare though, the main one being Satan whose name was not allowed to be spoken. It’s taboo to talk about any fallen angel.

“Of course, I want to protect people. They didn’t care about the effects their followers had on others. ‘Oh they’ll get their punishment when their time comes’ they said. I think it’s bullshit,” Xander rants.

“What effects I’ve been having some trouble with the other angels. They won’t explain some things to me. I’ve noticed how tensions here have been high, because of the gays. I was wondering if you knew what that was about. No one else will tell me,” Adora explains softly, hoping to finally understand all the hostility going around,

“Some Christians,” he responds drawing out the word as though it was poison in his mouth, “believe that people in the LGBT community are against God. And they decide to take it into their own hands by killing and torturing them,”

Adora’s wings puff in surprise at that statement. Her eyes well up with tears, only her left eye visible. A bright golden colour left her distressed as she silently cried thinking about all the people lost to hatred.

“Well, we have to do something, right? Surely-”

“They won’t do anything” he cuts her off. “You shouldn’t try, you’ll fall too,”

“But that’s not right! They’re being hurt, they’re being killed!”

“I know. But God won’t do anything and if you get in their way, and break their rules you’ll pay for it,” Xander responds sternly. He looks at the new angel and his gaze softens. She truly wants to help it seems, but he can’t trust her until she proves herself. 

Adora huffs wiping the dried tears off her face and flies back to her dorm. Her head hurts with conflict. Everything he has said matches up. And everything she has read and known shows that fallen angels are bad, and they say and do bad things against God, but is that the case?

Adora scrambles to the bookcase grabbing everything she can find that might give her answers. She spends hours reading them, looking for any clue on what to believe, what’s right or wrong in this situation. How to help. Anything!

Adora falls asleep in her pile of books leaving her roommates to find her, curious and concerned. They recognised one of the books on fallen angels and hoped she had not begun talking to him. When somebody asks too many questions only bad things can happen, that is the lesson many angels have learned. They hope Adora will learn it soon too.