I'm Moving To Wales I Hate England With All Of The Racism

Same energy

My starter depending on my name

The moustache is highly offended as you can see

Every Agatha Christie’s Poirot case wrap-up, every time.

F

can we get an F in the chat for poor Stanford

I saw something on Twitter and what I was imagine when that were happened…

So, I moved recently. And my new neighborhood is full of kids. I met about 20 of them the day I moved in because they helped me chase down my dog when he got loose and I can already tell you, me and these kids are gonna be besties. They come over to play with my dogs at least once a day. A few little convos we’ve had so far:

(On the day we met)

6yo: My name Kendrick but you can call me KJ cause my friends call me KJ and you my friend now.

~

KJ: I’ll walk your dogs for 5$!

Me: Imma think about it, okay?

KJ: Ok ok, 3$!! But that’s the lowest imma go. What a deal right?!?!

~

9yo: You know my Mama’s got a boyfriend.

Me: That’s nice!

9yo: My grandmama don’t like him cause he ain’t got a job.

Me: Oh.

9yo: Do you got a job?

Me: Yeah.

9yo: *screaming across the yard* GRANDMAMA!! THIS GIRL GOT A JOB!

(I might be her new stepmom, y’all. Idk)

~

12 yo: You ain’t got a man?

Me: Nope.

12 yo: You got a woman?

Me: Nope.

12 yo: It’s just you and these dogs?

Me: Yep.

12 yo: Girllllll! You living the life!

~

9yo: *banging on my back door* HEY!! Open the door!!

Me: *opening the door, freaking out* OMG! WHATS WRONG!

9yo: Nothing. You got a popsicle?

Me: Ummmm...no.

9yo: You want one?

Me:???

9yo: *pulls a popsicle from behind her back* I think you need this.

Me: Thank you.

9yo: Alright. Imma see you tomorrow. Bye!!

Me:...okay

Reblog if u think it’s TOO hot and u DON’T like it

Trying to prove a point to global warming

AHHHHHH DOOOT DOOOOT

If you see this on your dash, it’s too late

((Reblog or Halloween won’t be celebrated. If you reblog this in 50 seconds, you’ll have the best Halloween and be blessed by the spoopy skeleton gods.))

((This skeleton will also break all chain mail or reblog or die posts and you’ll live a happy life.))

Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

Of fucking course

What sick bastard doesn’t

So you mean this woman has....

Powers?!

i learned that the world record for the loudest thing ever shouted belongs to an Irish female teacher who shouted the word “quiet” at 121 decibels, the equivalent of a jet engine (x)