This Man Wouldn’t Know What Self-care And Positive Habits Were If They Tap-danced In Front Of Him Wearing

i talked about bruce's biggest fear being the IRS, but i was blind: it's obviously CPS

forever sick and tired of people bringing up the muppet christmas carol when talking about interspecies muppet reproduction

the kids kermit and piggy "have" in that movie are not hypothetical children they could have. they're actors. in all the muppet adaptations of classic literature the point is that the muppets are acting. kermit is acting as bob crachit, piggy is acting as emily crachit, and so on and so forth. it's literally in the opening credits. tiny tim isn't kermit and piggy's child in an alternate universe. it's robin, kermit's nephew, playing the part of tiny tim.

please use actual canon muppet material and muppet interviews in your reseach

Headcanon: Because Hal spends a lot of time in space where he's either alone or with aliens that aren't as social as humans, when he's on earth he's very physically affectionate with his friends

He also sometimes forgets that gravity and sound are a thing, for a while after he returns from space he'll accidentally drop several things because he expects them to float and he mostly communicates in gestures until he goes "oh wait I can talk" and immediately starts running his mouth.

nobody told me that alvin draper has a nose ring!! and earrings!! does this mean tim has a nose piercing?? 

(related doodles under the cut, feat. dick:)

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DC characters as actual things my family has said: Part 2

~at a very fancy restaurant~

Bart: Woah there’s a lot of French on this menu, oh! Speaking of French guess what I learned on Duolingo today

Cassie: What’d you learn?

Bart: When they say ‘cat’ in French they pronounce it ‘shat’! You know like sat but with an ‘sh’

Tim: Bart please stop talking

Bart: No it’s true! They say ‘shat’! S-H-A-T. Like if Kon was a French cat I’d say “Look there’s the shat right there!”- why are you laughing

Kon: Bart, um do you know what shat means in English? Come here (whispers for a moment in his ear)

Bart: IT MEANS SHIT?? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME!

Bart: oh sorry

Cassie: just kill me now

GET LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY, IDIOT

the feeling when your favorite ship is FINALLY the main ship of the show, but then you go online and it turns out NOBODY ELSE CARES ABOUT THEM???

"THERE IS NO STATE WHERE IT IS LEGAL TO KILL A BABY WHEN IT IS BORN" THAT WAS A FUCKING AMAZING MODERATOR INTERJECTION THANK YOU SO MUCH

DC Characters as actual things my friends have said: Part 1

Jon: I’m a co parent of a beaver named Kyle Jr and it’s all because of poor golf cart driving skills. I’m pretty sure he has rabies but it’s NOT my fault

Dami: For once

I love love love that parodies of Marvel are the comic books of the dc universe. It's so fun !!!