😀⛑❤️‍🩹

his choice

summary: at the end of the day, haechan chooses you despite the distance in time and proximity. but why do you feel so... guilty?

notes: idol!haechan, long distance relationship, no amount of fluff detected in this fic lol 221130 haechan i have real feelings for you

genre: angst | word count: 1.4k

- “baby?”, haechan says on the other line.

“haech… hi.”

you were laying on your bed. it has been a long, tiring week. on the other hand, haechan was sitting in front of his laptop. he was trying to fix his phone, trying to find the right angle for you to see his face clearly via facetime. once he felt everything is settled, he just stared at you. he can’t help but smile at your loving features. you are still beautiful as ever, he thought.

but you can see he was also exhausted. his eyes were kind of droopy, longing for some good night sleep. but he decided to stay up to accompany you while you twist and turn, and find the right sleeping position until you fall asleep.

“not going to bed, haech?”

“i’ll let you sleep first, baby.”

then a faint smile slowly crept on your face.

you thought it was cute. he is still the haechan you knew when he mustered up the courage to say he likes you on that one night in that one september night. you thought it was funny, even. he cannot look you in the eyes when he confessed, shy and all. it was unusual for someone who is loved by plenty to still giggle and blush like a little kid. haechan remains humble, head on the clouds but feet on the ground. and that is why despite the doubts and risks of accepting his love, you took the leap of faith, and haechan never failed to make you feel special every single day.

but with the tremendous amount of work lined up in his unpredictable schedule, you cannot help but feel… sorry.

you would be lying if you say you purposely did not answer some of his calls because he was persistent to see you when he gets the chance to do so.

january 16, 1:07am | haech wrote:

january 16, 1:07am | haech wrote:

where were you?

you weren’t picking up :(

you can almost hear haechan sulking as you read his text.

january 16, 2:15am | you wrote:

just out, haechan.

january 16, 2:16am | haech wrote:

tell me about your day? :)

there were at least six missed calls that you refused to answer before this. as you watched your phone vibrating, you just wished he would… stop. it was also two in the morning from where he is, currently touring and all, while you just came back from work and slept. timezones, the distance; you can’t help but to wonder why he still stays.

january 16, 2:20am | you wrote:

tired, baby.

january 16, 2:20am | haech wrote:

just five minutes, please?

but you just left him on read. the way he waited for you to response as he replied instantly for your texts is already bothering you. you also clearly did not know back then why you would do such a thing to haechan until weeks passed by…

it never occurred to you what exactly it was until you have seen him yawning and falling asleep as the both of you catch up on what has been going on with your lives. you clearly knew it was guilty to have him around while he was struggling to maintain his life and work. the guilt rushed in when he started texting almost apologetic messages saying “i’m sorry, i fell asleep.”, “have a great day, baby! i know you could do it!”, and the recent and out-of-the-blue text message he sent that sent you the urge to hit the block button for his own good:

january 28, 5:55am | haech wrote:

baby. i hope you never get tired of me… of this. i know it has been a rough couple of weeks of us being in different parts of the world. you don’t know how much i want to hold you, kiss you, and hug you at every chance i get. please wait for me to come home. please never be tired. i’m willing to work this out. i’ll make time for you, baby.

don't leave me, please?

and by that time, you knew haechan has been also feeling you were about to back down. it is just that the assumed reasons were different. haechan feels he was losing you because of the lack of time and distance he spends with you, and you, on the other hand, are willing to sacrifice this love that you wanted to keep for a long so he could continue living freely.

so you decided to talk to haechan tonight.

he deserved to at least receive a proper goodbye.

“what time is it there, haech?”

“it’s…” haechan looked at his watch, eyebrows scrunched and all, “two-thirty a.m.”

“aren’t you tired?”

“not when i see you, baby.”

you felt like your heart is about to burst from being squeezed so tightly. you removed your phone from your face and let the camera face in front of the ceiling. you were suppressing your whimpers. it hurts to hear those words; those words that were carefully curated for you to be heard so you would be convinced he is enduring it all when he is not. and giving up the fight is only the answer you have.

“baby…?” haechan asks for you. “still there?”

“yeah, yeah.” you wiped your tears away and faked a forced smile for him to see. you picked up your phone and made sure he could not see any hints of you hurting. “just… picked up something.”

“oh, okay.”

you can hear haechan singing baekhyun’s love again, and you just smiled through the entire mini-show, exclusively for you. he loved singing and sharing his favorite songs with you. you were never a fan of ballads until he came into your life, and suddenly everything felt at ease. but you had to ask before you.

“does it get tiring sometimes, haech?”

“what do you mean?”

“this.”

he looked straight at the camera and stopped the music playing in the background. haechan kind of stood still for seconds, bracing himself on where this conversation is going. but he responded upfront and with no hesitations.

“never.”

“why?” you asked.

“because it’s you.”

“why do you still stay?”

“because it’s you.”

“why do you keep saying it’s me?”

“because i love you.”

haechan can feel the series of questions from you being said so nonchalantly and so monotonously. he already knows your walls are building themselves up as he continuously answers. it was frustrating to see that you were no longer convinced, that the i love yous no longer work.

“stop saying that, haechan.”

“it’s haech.”

“what do i even do for you?”

“you—you make me happy, baby.”

“just go to sleep, haechan.”

“i won’t.”

“why?”

“because i know i won’t be seeing you in the morning after this.”

and you know he was right. you were already consumed by the thought of leaving and convinced he makes himself strong in front of you despite the circumstances.

but haechan is not ready to give it all up, not just yet.

“listen to me, baby. please?”

you turned off your camera, and you can see haechan slightly panicking. but he had to keep his composure still.

“every day, i choose you. my heart chooses you. i come back to you because my heart says so—that you keep me sane. you keep me feeling things; that you keep me afloat; that you keep me human.” haechan insists.

“you are that tiny light that i see whenever i come back to my apartment; and when i see it, it feels like someone’s waiting for me to come home, baby.

you are that someone, baby. you love me because i can fall crumbling and all because you are my home. and you accept my flaws.

it doesn’t matter if i’m tired and all, because you’re… you’re my rest.”

you let out sobs and your cries were no longer able to be contained. haechan waits for you on the other line to open your camera, or at least say something back. he anxiously taps his foot on the floor.

you picked up your phone and there he was, staring intently at a blank screen, biting his lower lip and teary-eyed.

“loving someone is a choice.

and every day, i choose you.”

and before you end the call, you heard him saying:

"i love you so much.

come back to me, baby, please?”

would you?

LIGHT OF MY DARK WORLD.

boyfriend!mark | fluff | boyfriend au | cw: fears of the dark & thunder

note ; there's a reference to 'nothing' by bruno major in this, but it's actually based on the lyrics of 'lights' by got7's yugyeom , aka soty!!!! the lyrics make me cry LOL so i had to write this <3

taglist ; @soobin-chois (lmk in comments, asks, or dms if you’d like to be added to my taglist! ^^)

Thanks to a sudden blackout that was unexpected but not unwelcomed, your apartment was completely pitch black.

Which probably explains why it's taking Mark such a long time to get to your shared bedroom.

"Markie? Hurry up, I'm waiting!" you called out impatiently, fingers tapping against the top of your battery-run radio.

You head your boyfriend huff loudly, stumbling over something and almost tripping.

"I hope you know that it's very difficult to walk through the dark without glasses and bad eyesight." he complains.

"Can't relate," you tease as you finally hear him enter the room and walk up to you. "I didn't stay up secretly reading Harry Potter under the blankets as a child."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say." he deadpans, chuckling.

Reciprocating his laugh, you peck his cheek before running your fingers over the front of your radio, each button and its function long burned into your memory out of familiarity.

"I'll play a Bruno Major CD, is that okay?" you asked, fiddling with the radio as you tried to load the disk.

Mark offers a hum in response, arms wrapping around your waist from the back as he rests his head on your shoulder. He's squinting as he tries to figure out what you were doing through his blurry vision.

"You know, you sound really excited to dance in the dark for someone who's usually scared of it." Mark notes, recalling how you would get really quiet and clingy in the dark.

"Oh, I'm not scared of the dark anymore," you laughed airily, dismissing his note with a wave of your hand. The other one hits the 'Play' button on the radio.

Almost immediately, 'Nothing' starts to play, scratchy intro of the heart-swelling song filling up your dark apartment.

"Really? That's not what you were saying last week during the thunderstorm though." he teases.

"That was different." you retort, scoffing. "Thunder was involved, and I'm still scared of that."

Mark can only laugh at how adorably stubborn you are when it comes to admitting your fears, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

The feeling of his soft lips against your skin makes you smile, melting into Mark's embrace.

And you wonder if he knows that he's the reason you weren't scared of the dark anymore, and you were sure that you'd get over your fear of thunder soon with him around.

The tight hugs in bed while he rubbed your back and reminded you that there was nothing to be scared of, the warmth of his hands in yours as he pressed small kisses to your knuckles and whispered funny stories to distract you, everything.

Little by little, Mark had totally transformed your fear of the dark into nothing but trust, calmness, and an endless love to be with him all night.

He colored you warm - even your surroundings - and you no longer were the frail, gray canvas you were, brave yellows and peaceful blues replacing them instead.

"And besides," you whisper, wrapping your arms around Mark's waist.

"You're the light of my dark world, so even when the night comes, I'm not afraid."

© neolovesneo, 2022.

uuuuuu mungkin tumblr be dropping hints now

“Maybe you’ve met the right person, but you’re just not ready to fall in love.”

— Unknown

HOW YOU LOVE | myg

⇢ pairing: min yoongi x reader

⇢ genre: fluff, established relationship

⇢ summary: watching the rain outside from a cosy armchair within the warm arms of the love of your life. also there’s hot chocolate.

⇢ word count: approx. 450

⇢ warnings: uhhh mentions of cloud piss, gender neutral reader and just lots of fluff <3

⇢ a/n: it’s so nice to be writing again :D

"it's raining." you inform yoongi, without turning around, when you hear him enter the living room. you are curled up in an armchair, blankets cuddled close to you, cupping a mug of hot chocolate in your sweater paws, contemplating the world outside through the crystalline glass of the wide window.

"so it is," yoongi agrees, but when you turn to him, he's not following your gaze out the window. he's looking at you. gentle smile, wordless love. 

you return it, brightening slightly when he seats himself next to you on the armchair, and you lift the blanket to welcome him into your little world.

he likes to watch you watch things. he loves the way your brows furrow in the middle of a thought, the way your eyes twinkle when you think of something that amuses you, the way you sigh and shake off thoughts that run too deep into the past. all he ever wants is to know you, entirely and completely. to read you like one of those books you adore so much, open your wonderful mind and see it all. maybe leave room for himself there too, just as you scribble notes in the margins of your paperbacks.

and just like always, he asks —

"what's going on in that pretty head of yours today, sweetheart?" soft words as he slips an arm around you, guides your head to its rightful place on his chest while setting down your empty mug.

"look." you giggle already, knowing he'll find your thoughts amusing. "the world," you gesture grandly towards the wide expanse of window, "is getting hydrated."

he scoffs, shakes his head in fond exasperation. 

"or, or," you put in alternatively. "the clouds are crying."

his nose scrunches. "now that one's just sad."

"so are the clouds," you retort cheekily. 

"maybe they're just taking a piss," he suggests, and it's your turn to scrunch your nose up.

"that is rank!"

he shrugs, plants a kiss to the top of your head, idly draws patterns on your exposed skin. you sign contentedly, body melting into him. 

oh, how you love the rain. love the unspoken agreement that dictates the two of you must come to the armchair and cuddle, must hold each other close like this. how you love yoongi's fingers combing gently through your hair, teasing knots out. how you love curling up against his chest, his arm warm and safe around you. how you love, how you love, how you love.

"i love the rain." you keep your proclamation simple, despite the tumult of words running through your brain. he knows. you know he knows.

("you say that now," he warns in return. "wait 'til you find out i'm right and it's been cloud piss all along.")

💌 let me know what you thought here! feedback is incredibly motivating to content creators so please drop a comment/tag or ask :D

© taegisms 2022 | all rights reserved // do not plagiarise my work.

have u seen haechan's bubble msgs talking about food, he's so cute 🥺 with that being said, can i make a request for foodie boyfriend haechan? thank u so much 🫶

immediately ran to twt and searched this,,, he's literally the cutest being god i love him so much☹️ THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING THIS AND SHARING ANON <33 i tried my best and i hope u like it ><

pairings. idol!haechan x (f) reader

genre. fluff

warnings. not proofread,, haechan and yn are at his parent's house and it's just a wholesome cute setting at haechan's home ;-;

-

"you're pretty!" haechan's little brother complimented you with the cutest grin, almost matching his older brother's. his height reaching just above your waist line, his head arm's reach for you to softly rub over his grown out bowl cut. he was the youngest in the family, and a complete sweetheart. when you first met haechan's family, you remember him being way smaller. but now he's grown a bit and he's at the end of elementary.

"thank you cutie." you cooed, tapping the tip of his nose lightly. both of you giggling when his face scrunches up when your index finger makes contact with his nose.

"yah, that's my girlfriend." haechan comes from behind you as he playfully pushes away his youngest brother, engulfing you in a tight hug. your hands reaching to place over his forearms.

"no," he giggles. "i like noona more!"

haechan tugs you closer and away from the little boy. "she's mine." he responds, sticking his tongue out. "only i can call her pretty." he tilts his head at him before he smashes his lips against your cheek.

when haechan pulls away from your cheek, he laughs evilly as he playfully glares down at his brother. the little boy makes a 'hmph' sound before turning around and running to the other side of the house.

"your little brother is a cutie." you tell him, haechan's arms around you relaxing as they find a new place on your hips.

he pinches your side, making you jump in his hold before smacking him.

“yeah? well where do you think he gets his skills from.”

"donghyuck-ie, come set the table please."

everyone is set at the table in the living room, haechan and you sitting across from his grandparents, his parents sitting to the left of them, and his siblings sitting to the left of their older brother.

haechan's schedule has calmed down, a few free days and he's decided to take you with him to his hometown since his family has been asking about your next visit to see them, and he of course just misses his family. when you first met his family, you weren't really nervous, due to your boyfriend's job and lifestyle you couldn't just up and leave to go meet them. but you've met them on phone and video calls. haechan's mother was the sweetest and funniest woman you've met, you see where your boyfriend get's his funny personality from. you can still recall when haechan's mom face timed him one day while you both were eating dinner at your place.

"donghyuck? donghyuck-ah where are you?" you hear a woman speaking through his phone. you continue to eat silently as you just stare at your boyfriend answering the call.

"mom, i'm at yn's." before you could spit out your food or swallow it, haechan pans the phone's camera to you.

your eyes practically bulging out your sockets as you stare at haechan who's smirking behind the phone. both your cheeks are puffed out from the mouthful of rice. your cheeks burn red as you face the mother of your boyfriend on the screen.

you shyly wave, covering your mouth with your other hand.

"oh yn, you're so pretty through the screen, even with your mouth full." his mom smiles, softly laughing. haechan putting down his elbow on the table so his arm doesn't get tired, he softly smiles at what his mom said, he breaks his eye contact with you to take a bite of his dinner. not wanting it to get cold.

you swallow your food, shaking your head. "i'm sorry, your son just put the camera on me without letting me chew my food." you apologize, still blushing but not forgetting to shoot a glare at your boyfriend who innocently continues to eat.

"no worries honey. eat well!" you politely thank her before haechan turns his phone to face him.

"mom, i did good didn't i?" he asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

the call soon ended, her asking her son to come visit with you before bidding both of you goodbye's.

on the table was a bunch of plated food, food that haechan's mother and grandmother had cooked. you remember haechan telling you awhile ago that he grew up eating his grandmother and mother's food and that their home cooked food will forever be his favorite meal to eat. reminiscing the one time you visited for haechan's little brother's birthday party, the second youngest one, his mom and grandmother cooked and prepared everything for his brother's thirteenth birthday. the kimchi stew leaving an impact inside your stomach, it was the most delicious thing you've ever tasted. all the other kimchi stews you've ever tasted being laughed at.

"chili pepper jeon!" haechan gasps next to you, as he shuts his eyes tight, leaning back slowly with his hand over his chest as he wiggles in his seat. you smile at his reaction to seeing his favorite food made by his grandma.

his grandma across the table chuckles at the sight of her grandson, smiling endearingly, thankful that she's able to see her grandson eat.

"noona, do you like pork belly?" the youngest one asks you, he peaks his head from behind haechan.

"i love pork belly." you reply, smiling.

his smile widens as he holds out his chopsticks that has a piece of pork between his small, blue, kid chopsticks.

you gasp lightly, pointing a finger at yourself. "for me?"

he nods, raising his hand in front of haechan who's watching this interaction happen, literally, in front of him.

he thought that having you sit next to him on his right away from his flirty little brothers, they wouldn't try anything with you. but here we are. the littlest one, holding a piece of pork belly in front of his face, to feed you.

you take your chopsticks to grab the piece of meat from his, but he shakes his head and pouts.

"no, no, from here! eat from here!"

"yah," haechan pouts, staring at the younger one.

his grandparents and parents smiling fondly at the scene unfolding in front of them.

before you can reach over to take the bite, haechan beats you to it.

"hyung!" his little brother frowns, turning his head away from him as he continues to eat his food.

"haha," haechan snickers.

rolling your eyes at your childish boyfriend, you reach over behind him and softly pat the little one's back. his posture immediately straightens and his frown is gone.

dinner continues swiftly, casual conversation being shared between you and haechan's mom and grandma. and haechan talking with his dad and grandpa.

"oh! you know how to crochet too?" his grandma asks in excitement.

you eagerly nod, "yes, i can make a few things now but i still mess up here and there, and i get so frustrated having to unthread a patch." you frown just at the thought.

"i know right. back then when donghyuck-ie was little i used to make him blankets and sweaters. i'm sure i have pictures of them somewhere in this house." she tries to recall with her own daughter where those photos could be.

haechan next to you taps your thigh. when you face him he's holding up a spoonful of some pork belly with rice and kimchi, holding it up to your mouth.

you open your mouth as you take the spoonful of food in your mouth, humming in contentment from the flavorful taste. as if you're in your own world, you do a little happy dance, something haechan took notice of when you both began dating. you do a little happy dance when the food you're eating is good. your actions make him lean over as he places his soft lips on yours for a quick kiss.

your eyes widen, because he just did that like it was nothing in front of his family. as if it was just you guys at your place or the dorms.

you glance over at his family across from you, who had already caught the scene with their own eyes. but they found it cute seeing their oldest son being care free and happy with his partner. it's a side of donghyuck they've never seen before, but they're glad it's with you.

his little brothers too busy playing around with a perilla leaf to even notice what had happened.

you playfully swat his arm, as you try and hide your reddened cheeks. pretending to take interest in the green onion inside of your bowl of kimchi stew. you don't see how haechan is just cheekily staring at you.

his family around him, his favorite meals sitting on the table and his favorite girl with him. his heart and stomach full.

“I know, but don’t say it.”

jeonghan x reader genre: angst; fluff word count: 3K

a/n: Hi lovelies! Here’s a Jeonghan fic that was inspired by two songs in particular: “Don’t Go Changing” by Ylona Garcia, and “Beg For You” by Charli XCX feat. Rina Sawayama and Vernon (particularly Vernon’s verse). Jeonghan and reader have sincere feelings for each other but things are complicated. That’s all. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading! :)) 

Watching Jeonghan sleep, you thought back to when you had last seen him before that night. It had been two weeks earlier, and it was a week before that time. Too long, you thought. But that was ok, or at least it had to be, because Jeonghan wasn’t your boyfriend. Admiring his peaceful state as his deep breaths filled the silence of the dimly lit room, you had to remind yourself of that. It didn’t matter that he let himself into your apartment just hours earlier with his own key, or that he had left a hoodie at your place weeks earlier that only left your closet when you wanted to wear it against your skin, and it didn’t even matter that he was naked and asleep in your bed, shrouded in floral sheets that smelled like you. He wasn’t your boyfriend, and things were complicated.

Dragging your gaze over his features, disbelief racked your brain as you processed his existence. It was unfair how pretty he was as he slept, mostly because you were certain you looked less than appealing in slumber, but also because he wasn’t really yours to admire. How dare he be so attractive sleeping in your bed and not be yours. He slept on his side, your comforter draped over his hips leaving just his torso bare for your appreciation. The smooth skin of his chest was tempting you to reach out and place your hand over his heart to feel it’s pulse. You loved the fact that he was alive. And he was there with you. Even if he wasn’t yours. Even if he wasn’t staying.

Keep reading

what you allow continues. -> what you tolerate continues. -> what you show interest in is what brings more of that interest into your life. -> to often express an emotion like anger or joy will make people test it, tread its waters, treat you with that emotion in mind, thus making you choose between rejecting or accepting their understanding of you, instead of being neutral on it. -> if you get involved in fights and debate, more fights come to your doorstep. to think solemnly about your existence is to see answers and questions in everything. to participate in anything is to be enmeshed in it, touched back by it. -> to be bothered deeply by something personally repulsive is to touch it back when it tries to hold you, instead of washing your hands. -> you can work against something without allowing it to touch you inside. -> what you allow inside you continues.

touch (mark lee)

lowercase intended

“stop touching me,” mark tells haechan, removing the said man’s arm from his shoulders. “y/n, how do you deal with your boyfriend being like this?” haechan asks. you giggle at the scene in front you. mark isn’t really fond of physical touches even with you, his girlfriend. you have been dating for 5 months now, and you were used to it. he wouldn’t even let you hold his hands for more than a minute. it made you sad at first, but he explained that he just doesn’t like being touched often, and you understood him. it doesn’t mean he loves you less.

a month after

you and mark were both sitting on his couch, watching a movie you weren’t paying attention to anymore. you were busy looking at mark, and how cuddly he looks. you know how it will end if you try to cuddle— him subtly pushing you off him after a few minutes— but you would take those few minutes in his arms any day, so you slowly position yourself, and cuddle him. he wraps his hands around you, and gives you kisses on your forehead. you smile at him, and seize the moment. after a minute, you slowly get off him knowing he would do it himself. “where are you going?” he asks. “hmm? just here beside you,” you smile at him. “come here, let’s cuddle,” he pouts. “getting used to my touches now?” you joke, “the only touch i want on me forever.”

“Are you really not going to complain even once?”

yoongi x reader (oc) genre: fluff word count: 1.8K

a/n: Hi lovelies! Here’s a little handyman Min helping reader/Kid with some simple home improvement projects. He’s super sweet and adorable about it and she’s annoying but he’s endeared. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading! :)) 

p.s. Happy birthday to our favorite honey boy! It’s Yoongi day!!! 

Observing your boyfriend from the bathroom doorway, you smirked at the little grunts that echoed through the room. Every twist of his wrench was accompanied by a low grumble from Yoongi’s throat. If he wasn’t fixing your sink out of the goodness of his heart, his undying love for you, and your complete inability to do it yourself, you’d tease him for being a grandpa.

When he arrived at your apartment fifteen minutes earlier, you had ambushed him with the home improvement project. He left a sweet kiss on your cheek as he entered your living room, immediately pulling his eyebrows together when you flashed him a pout. “What?”

“My bathroom sink is leaking,” you sighed.

The man glanced toward the bathroom in thought, a small pout taking over his own mouth. It just naturally did that. “Are the tools I left for you still in the hall closet?”

“If that’s where you left them,” you smirked, drawing your boyfriend’s attention back to you. He gave you a gummy smile and a slight shoulder shake as he laughed silently.

Keep reading

I'm torn on whether I should write about you again.

Will my heart race once more when I write your name or will I just feel the regret of never really letting you understand how deeply I fell for you?

You won't ever be reading this piece, for all I know is that you're so in to your own world, and I love that about you, but sometimes you end up forgetting about me.

You see, I've grown. I've been better, but my adoration towards you will remain until the time I take my last breath.

For every time I will fall for someone, there will always be a detail crafted from the feeling of falling for you.

I know how I'll fail in trying to forbid my heart to speak about you. That's just something I'll never learn.

This might be the way for me to give myself my own closure.

So even without you knowing, I'll write about you, pab. Til the day I get to realize that I've let you go fully.

—sheinvanilla