If A White Boy Is Talking To You Just Say “oh Shit Dude No Way” And They’ll Think You’re Listening

Does a free roll of unusually heavy carpet come with it?

Truth.

Vamdemon/Myotismon Is Savage

“Dreams don’t come true for the stupid”

“Perhaps your brain is too small for this job”

“You dolt!”

“They must be desperate if they sent you.”

“Did you expect to beat me with geraniums?”

“Are you done? I’m bored.”

“I don’t have to explain myself to the likes of you.”

“I shall enjoy devouring you. Angelfood is my favorite!”

You don’t know true fear until you open up the shower curtain and find a spider in the bathtub.

Sometimes I’m afraid that someone really cool will pass me by when I’m in one of my moments of weakness and listening to Nicki Minaj or Biggie Smalls or someone else embarrassing.

Like, that guy could be my soulmate or she could be my new best friend. And, according to some bullshit survey that we probably will believe because we’re all 20 somethings, the first 30 seconds are your only chance to make a good first impression.

And when our first thirty seconds together have been punctuated by ‘nigga nigga nigga’ 13 times, well…I think I just blew it.

When your shaving cream does the thing.

Scumbag shaving cream.

Untitled Acrylic and sprinkles on canvas 14” x 18” 2014

when that short boy with the spikey hair beats your Relinquished with some deus ex machina card drawing skill bullshit

When you find a fic you really like

When it updates with new tags

Thinking of you.

Unusual Date Ideas

Can we please do these?