1 Mug Of Vanilla Chai Tea With Splenda 0 Cal

Hi lovelies

Today's Breakfast-

9 egg whites (18 cal each) 162 cal

1 spoonful of splenda 0 cal

1 chopped up potatoes ( 127 grams) 100 calories

1 healthy pinch of salt 0 cal

A dash of smoked paprika 0 cal

A few sprays of Pam's cooking spray 0 cal

1 glass of water 16 oz with ice

3 xtremewellness Tommato and basil wraps 50 cal each- 150

1 small gala apple (108 grams) 62 calories

Total for meal - 474 calories ...

Grocery shopping today-

Zero sugar torani flavor syrup carmel and vanilla

Zero sugar coffee creamer pumpkin spice

More tea flavors

Canned pumpkin

Cinnamon

Went for a morning walk and while drinking some pumpkin spice low cal coffee and then I had some pumpkin chai tea with a freind. I guess today I was craving something sweet (which I always crave) . The world was so still and quiet waking up this chill morning and it's nice and grey outside too. I wish it were more gloomy but it's not.

When will I start to feel light and weightless? I'm desperate for that attention skinny brings and I will not stop till I get there. If I have to pay my mental health for it then that is the price I am willing to pay. I want boys to look at me, I want girls to envy me. And I want my family to take back every little negative thing they have ever said about me back. I will no longer be the fat freind, the fat sister or the fat coworker. Ha! They will all watch me get thin.

And I WILL get there. They will all see. Every guy that has ever ignored me will finally be forced to pay attention. That will make things right.

For now on- Listen up fattie

860 calories will be the MAX that I can have. ABSOLUTELY NO CHEAT DAYS. Fatties don't deserve cheat days.

I will have to drink 8 cups of water each day to prevent me from eating.

I WILL chew my food 25 times before swallowing.

I will take my protein powder and supplements daily

I WILL get plenty of sleep at least 8 to 10 hrs per day. Beauty queens need their rest.

700 calories is my new safe number now. I dont feel safe eating above 700. I know it's not sustainable but I will give everything I got to meet that number. I don't want to be fat anymore it's making me a target for abuse and my weight has kept me trapped in a bad relationship.

Every lb I lose will dig me out of this cage my ex has put me in.

My big jar of zero calorie sweetness

Hey guys im back and im going to start restricting again. I don't care about being beautiful I just want to feel light and thin!

Im gonna-

-Count my calories and weigh out my food 1,200 for me MAX

- Drink lots of water and decaf tea with splenda

-Take a multivitamin daily and extra vitamin c

-Add a protein shake supplement to my diet

- Fall out of love with food. It's gross and it weighs me down

I feel

I feel so gross and stuffed for eating that begal

At work tonight..and I'm trying to convince myself not to purge it up right now. I haven't purged since the age 18... I'm 23 now. But I feel so sick inside pit I don't want to throw up my vitamins I just took. I guess I'll just have start over the next day back at 800. Ugh I hate myself right now