Everyday I Wake Up, And My First Thought Is "Ah Fuck, I'm Still Alive." And Then I Have To Go Do My Silly

I was going to say something but i don't think anything can top that

list of sentences that convinced people to jump into an aqueduct

Listen bitch, I ain't masc until the roach starts flying. That shit starts my whole day off.

everybody masc till the roach starts flying 😒

I cannot explain to you how much more immensely fun work would be if I could play Skyrim while I was there. "But that wouldn't be work" you say, nay, I would still be working, I would just not be bored when I'm not having to talk to people. It's a small difference. But it makes all the difference.

In conclusion I want my work to provide me with a gaming setup.

Some of y'all's water tastes like skin tight jeans feel. You take a sip and just mm no get out of my body please thank you.

YES!!!! NEIL!!!!!

You all know what tomorrow is

Spicy chibb

I love informing people that the song "Macarena" is about a girl named Macarena who's implied to be sexually promiscuous and the reason they remember the chorus as being made up of nonsense words is because it's in fucking Spanish and they haven't heard it since they were ten. I love the look on their faces.

There are no villains on this island, and there is no war in Ba-Sing-Se.

Wh...

What?

Fucker.