Tiny Dudes!!!

ao3 is crazy because you'll read the most gut-wrenching 200k word slowburn that leaves you sobbing into your sweater at four in the morning and the author will be applejacksmonstercock

🛼 its 💥 funky 💥 one piece 🌶

Flirting For The Mission (Luffy, Sanji, Zoro)

_____ Pairings: Luffy x Reader; Sanji x Reader; Zoro x Reader Summary: You go undercover and flirt for information, your boyfriend doesn't particularly like it. Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Comfort, Harassment, Unwanted Touching/Kissing [One Piece Masterlist] _____

- Luffy -

The man in front of you is charming, or at least that's what he claims as he talks to you. "Women just can't seem to resist me it seems-" You force yourself not to sigh and not to leave your place next to him as you try to remind yourself what is at stake. Your crew was undercover again, on an island full of powerful enemies, and half of you had gotten captured. In desperate need of information, you had volunteered to flirt with this man, but you hoped the grimace on your face had contorted into a believable smile.

Fortunately for you, this man is so in love with himself he barely seems to notice, but unfortunately for you, it means you have to try a bit harder to get him to spill the information for you. You lean closer tilting your head in mock interest and you force a laugh from your throat at a tasteless joke he spills. He looks up and meets your gaze, eyes sparking in what seems to be surprise and desire; maybe he had finally looked at you properly instead of getting lost in his rants about himself.

A short distance away, Luffy, Zoro and Nami watch from a distance. Unfortunately for you, Nami had already been recognised by the enemy earlier on and so she hadn't been able to take your place, more required to keep a low profile. She was eying you carefully whilst Zoro indulged in drinks and Luffy indulged in the meal placed in front of him. In all honestly, Luffy had been so distracted by the prospect of food he had barely registered the plan that was actively taking place.

"Numi whe-re's [y/n], 'might be hungfy foo!!"

An irk mark rises on Nami's forehead as she hears Luffy's words muffled with the plates of food he devours. "She's trying to get us information, idiot! Were you even paying attention to the plan?!" She whisper-shouts to her Captain who tilts his head in utter confusion, hands not stopping as he continues to reach for food. "Reaflly? Where?" He swallows another plate-full harshly as he grabs a piece of meat. Nami nods her head in the direction of you.

You had leant even closer to the man in front of you, to the point where you were reaching for his hand and causing him to flush red at the proximity. You smiled prettily and gazed up and through your eyelashes, your dress revealing soft flesh that the man couldn't help but admire. He whispers something in your ear that has light laughter fill the air, though Luffy only thinks of the fact that it sounds more strained than usual. Your Captain doesn't know why a sudden twisting feeling erupts within him at the sight of you and him.

"Wow, so you're a commander of this lot, are you?" You say in what you hope is a teasing tone, playing with the man's hands in what you hope is a believable flirt. You nod to the others who are at the bar where you and some of your crew reside; at the men who enjoy their drinks and their meals. "Impressive, isn't it sweetheart? You know, we even captured some of the Strawhat crew this morning. They're nothing compared to our strength-" Finally, a glint of a true smile makes its way onto your face at his words. "Is that so..."

Back at the table, Luffy pouts and suddenly and surprisingly to Nami, slows the pace at which he eats as he watches you. "Why's she there with him?" Nami sighs deeply, though she looks proudly at the way you seem to be getting them the information they so require. "I told you, she's getting information. We need to find out where they're keeping Sanji and the others." Luffy's frown remains on his face. "Why can't we just beat them up?" Nami keeps her eyes trained on you. "Because we don't want unnecessary fighting-"

Her words seem to die on her tongue however as she witnesses a sight she wishes she didn't have to.

You had been about to leave the man in front of you, having got the information you required. But, in your distraction and excuses, you hadn't seen as he leant forward, and suddenly his lips were on yours. Freezing in utter shock, you pushed him back and away as bile rose within you. You see a flash of his confusion before all of a sudden he is flung from the seat in front of you, your boyfriend standing from his seat with an outstretched fist in the air.

Steam seems to unravel from Luffy's skin, his eyes sharp with an anger you have only seen in battles. He pulls his arm back to him from where he has punched the man who had harassed you. "Hey, what do you think you're doing to [y/n]!!" The man you had just taken information from was now unconscious, but his subordinates took notice of your boyfriend's actions. "Hey, it's Strawhat Luffy!!" Zoro takes it as a cue to retrieve his swords but it is for naught as Luffy goes on a rampage, fists flying along with the bodies of men.

You look on in shock until Luffy finally finishes and makes his way to you. "Luffy I-" But before you have the chance to continue, he has connected his own lips to yours, making your words falter in your mouth. When he lets go, Nami and Zoro are looking at you dumbfounded as Luffy grins at you. "There, all better." You blink in utter surprise until a soft, true smile reaches your face, causing Luffy's insides to churn in warmth. "Thank you, Luffy." Your boyfriend grins wider, satisfied with your contentedness.

"No more kissing for information next time! We can just beat them up!"

You continue to smile and try not to roll your eyes.

"... okay Luffy."

- Sanji -

"You expect me to stay here while that no-good, brainless, revolting, bastard touches my [y/n]-chan so carelessly?!"

Zoro's teeth clenched together in blunt irritation at the crew's cook who looks like he is about to explode from the utter rage that fills him. "Yes, now would you control yourself, damn cook?!" Sanji's anger remains on his face, fire building in his eyes at the nonchalant expression on Zoro's face, vastly contrasting his own. "Get out of my way!!" Sanji tries to side-step the swordsman who pulls out two of his swords. "She said she can handle it!"

There is then a flurry of movements as Sanji and Zoro attack each other, legs kicking and swords slicing. They continue only for a short moment, however, as Sanji hears your light laughter from within the building they wait for you outside. The two men pause, looking into a window and at the elaborate party that takes place from within it. As Zoro looks for potential threats, Sanji's eyes instantly go to you.

You are adorned in an utterly beautiful dress that elegantly glides across the space in which you walk side-by-side with a man you try to pry information from. Your group - the Sanji, Zoro, [y/n], group - had come to this Island later than other members of the crew after being separated. However, you had all learnt that Luffy and the others had been captured, resulting in the need to know exactly when and where. The place you were at now was large and full of enemies, so discretion was necessary, thus you volunteered to flirt with one of the executives in charge, much to Sanji's dismay.

Sanji's heart jolts in his chest as he looks at you from outside. How can you be so beautiful? You were like a goddess, an angel. But inside, Sanji felt as though he was also thrown into the pits of hell. The man you talked to was old and rich and completely enamoured by you it seemed. Your flirts and charm were working, as the man seemed entranced by the younger woman on his arm, showing such keen interest in him; Sanji's woman.

"So, powerful man, large mansion, elaborate party, what's the occasion?" You look up with sharp eyes glinting hypnotically; the older man is no match for you. "Well, we captured the Strawhat Crew this morning, if you could call that a source for celebration. Especially their Captain, though his bounty would only be enough to pay for this one party." You smile and let out light laughter, the sound like ringing bells to the man next to you, but it sounds strained to your boyfriend who listens in.

"Care for a drink?" The man holds out a glass of champagne, and you reach for it, but his hands linger and pull you closer to him so you are flush against his side. You force away the sick feeling in your chest and fight to keep the smile on your face at the sudden proximity of him against you. "Thank you," you murmur, as an uncomfortable feeling erupts within you. But you remind yourself you are so close, finally having heard the utterance of your Captain's presence here on this island. Your thoughts, however, are unlike Sanji's.

"That slimy bastard!"

Sanji's anger erupts with such vigour, that he is practically clawing at the glass he looks through, causing Zoro to have to push him back and away from the visibility of those inside. "Have you lost your mind?!" Zoro basically shouts at the cook, but Sanji retorts just as quickly. "Have you?! That's my girlfriend in there-" Zoro tries not to slice off the head of his crewmate, not understanding why he finds it so hard to let you just do what you need to do.

Lucky for him though, amid Sanji's incoherent rambling you have finished your task and were running up to them. "Hey, guys!! I got the information!" Sanji instantly freezes his words and turns, whilst Zoro finally lets his headache ease. "Finally-" "My Love!!" Sanji turns to you instantly, heart in his eyes at the sight of you still adorned in your dress. His hands however then reach for yours, suddenly as serious as his sudden happiness had come.

"Are you okay, love?" You smile gently at the concern that brims in his gaze but you nod easily, finding comfort in the presence of your boyfriend. "I'm fine, but I think we need to go quick before he notices I haven't just gone to the bathroom." Sanji seems to tense once more at the remembrance of the man and how he had touched you, but you seeing that, gently kiss his cheek before guiding him away. "Come on!" Sanji can't seem to say no to you as he nods hesitantly, all the while Zoro grumbles under his breath about how the show of your love has him nauseated and confused.

"Don't pull that lovey-dovey shit while I'm around-"

"Shut up Marimo!"

- Zoro -

"... I don't like this."

Zoro's voice was low as he eyed your figure by the bar, teeth gritted against the other. You were adorned in a beautiful black dress, one you know that he loves, one the man in front of you is enjoying a bit too much. "She'll be fine, she can handle this." Nami rolls her eyes at your protective boyfriend and the permanent frown on his face. He could trust you in battles to take down a thousand men, but not one at this bar who looks to you in clear desire.

"Why couldn't you do this?" Zoro sharply retorts, grip tightening against his bottle of sake to the point where it creaks beneath his fingers. "[y/n] knows these people, and you know we need to keep a low profile if we want to find where they're keeping Luffy and the others." Nami sighed as she thought of the crew who had somehow become captured again by powerful enemies. They needed information, and you were their best bet; it was the best plan they'd got.

Zoro stays silent to Nami's words, eyes not wavering from yours. He can see how you force a smile, hands lingering on the arms of the man in front of you flirty. You batted your eyelashes and laughed, making Zoro's insides churn. He tries to control his emotions and his haki that threatens to spill out from within him, cursing the way you have him so wrapped around your finger. He takes a rough swing of his beverage and continues to brood in the low lighting of the room next to Nami.

You, on the other hand, are getting bored beyond your mind listening to this man talk to you about his role on this vast Island controlled by pirates. The only reason you knew anything of these pirates was because their Captain had taken a liking to you many years ago, before you joined Luffy. But now you see how lucky you were that you rejected his advances to join such a revolting crew. The man in front of you reeks at the proximity you both share and his hand is coming dangerously close to your upper thigh.

"We actually captured a bunch of rookie pirates tonight, the crew of some idiot with a straw hat." The man continuously seems to lose himself to the alcohol in his grasp, but your heart jumps at the mention of your Captain's name. Finally. But just as you are about to get him to expand, that is when his lingering hand finally grasps for the flesh of your upper thigh, his yellowed teeth flashing beneath a sickening smirk. "So, sweetheart-" His words are cut short with the sound of shattering glass.

"Zoro!" Nami whisper-scolds the swordsman and tries to tug him back to his seat to very little avail. "That bastard..." The shattering of glass had been from Zoro's bottle of sake, its contents now spilt upon the table and his unrest causing many eyes to turn to them. But Zoro doesn't care anymore. All he sees is the uncomfortable expression on your face, the grimace that you try to contort to a smile, the hands of a man that isn't his on your figure; the woman he's meant to protect. He witnesses you try to pry back the attention of the man as you lean close to him, making him sick.

"Zoro, come on, please!" Nami continues to whisper as eyes still linger on her and the swordsman. Zoro finally turns to meet eyes with the navigator and her touch falters on his shirt as she looks at the deadly glint in his eyes. Zoro knows what is at stake, but isn't used to being forced to stay put when you are so uncomfortable. He knows what is at stake, but at what cost? At least on battlefields, he can step in if he deems it necessary. He grits his teeth defeatedly and sits back down, eyes now trained on the table to try to control himself.

It feels like eons when you finally make your way back to them.

"Okay, I know where they are we can go now!" Zoro's eyes snap upwards to meet your warm gaze, before travelling behind you to the man asleep on the bar table, most likely your doing. His hand itches for his sword to go and make sure that when the man wakes, he will have no wretched hands any longer, but he recedes. "Let's go," Zoro's voice is short and sharp and he avoids your gaze. Nami rolls her eyes once more at his attitude as you give her a questioning glance, but she shrugs in response as you go to lead them to the crew.

Only a few moments pass when Nami goes to find the keys to where the crew are confined and you go to Zoro who leans against the wall of the room you are yet to enter. "Zoro," you murmur as his gaze reluctantly meets yours. "Are you mad? Look, it was all just to get information, you know I wasn't flirting with that guy on purpose I-" Zoro cuts you off sharply, as he eyes the way your eyebrows furrow together and he realises his anger of the revolting man had seemed like anger towards you.

"I know. I trust you."

Your eyes widen in surprise, and even more so when a slight flush reaches the tips of his ears. Your surprise then morphs into a sigh and a smile lingers on your face as you realise he had just been worried for you, and most likely trying not to commit murder of the man you had to manipulate for information. "If you want some consolation, I did give him a good punch to the ribs before he was knocked out." You whisper as you reach for his hand that had been clenched into a fist. It instantly unravels at your touch as he allows you to hold it and you guide it to the side of your thigh where the man had touched you.

Zoro's eyebrows seem to furrow, but he seems to concede to your words as he traces your figure, trying to eliminate the man's touch from your skin. "That's my girl." You grin as you look up to him when Nami sprints back to you, a hoard of men on her heels. "[y/n]!! Zoro!! Deal with them!!" In her grasp is the key to your crew's confinement and Zoro smirks as he readies his swords, seemingly more at ease now that you are next to him again.

"Mind if I take care of them?"

"By all means."

Pre-timeskip Ji, you will always be famous to me.

No one is doing it like Monkey D. Luffy. He’s a god. He’s a wanted criminal. He’s an idiot. He is an impeccable judge of character. He will punch an eight year old in the face. He forgets to mention people who are incredibly important to him. He’s an asexual icon. He has absolutely no marketable skills. He’s a selfish asshole. He has a very strong moral code that he decides entirely in the moment and will never explain to anyone ever.

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Imagine hating on me but i spend my free time maladaptive daydreaming about getting raw dogged by fictional men

Kindest of them all. Outfit for @sanjiartcollab 🫶

Hiiiii so I was mayhaps wondering if I could get a Sanji x reader, (fem mayhaps) and when Sanji flirts reader flirts back just as much and they fluster poor Sanji :3

FLIRTING COMPETITION - Sanji x Fem!Reader

Hiiiii!! Omg I loved this request, I tried my best to write a cute little blurb. I hope it’s satisfactory! This is actually the first request I’ve ever gotten and I’m not gonna lie I giggled like an idiot hehe.

CW: SFW, Blood mention (nose bleed), anime Sanji antics, flirty remarks but nothing past pg

~1.3k

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A new woman on board the Sunny is cause for celebration for no less than five of the Straw Hats. Nami and Robin were elated that there's finally someone else to connect with, to break up the monotony of the otherwise male-dominated crew. Not that they minded, but eventually you can only take so much locker room smell and fart jokes. Chopper was also excited, having another person to dote on him (not that some of the men aboard didn’t also do it in their own ways.) Luffy was excited, but of course it had nothing to do with you being a woman and everything to do with having another member of the crew who he invariably adored. Another crewmate, another nakama.

Nobody is more excited than Sanji, though.

At first, it's a little weird. You notice how Sanji dotes on and tends to the women in the crew. Extra treats, googly eyes, nose bleeds. He'd roll out the red carpet if he had one, release confetti if there were any aboard. The little comments didn't really get to you, and it seemed that Nami and Robin are already used to them. So, the flirtatious remarks from Sanji weren't really given any weight, and certainly not any attention. At least, not at first.

It started small. Well, from you at least - for Sanji’s part, the flirting was as obnoxious as ever. You’d offer him a warm smile here, a chaste laugh there. Anything to show your gratitude for the extra attention, though the flirting was certainly becoming an issue. You couldn’t quite decide what was bothering you about it so much. Maybe it was the fact that it was relentless and constant. There wasn't a single meal that went by without it, and it'd be an off day if Sanji didn't openly ogle and flirt. Or that it didn’t actually bother you at all - rather, it bothered you that it was indiscriminate, not just meant for you. It was shared among all three of you women aboard. Yes, maybe that was the issue. The comments have been wearing you down, and something deep inside was feeling something that maybe wasn’t very smart to be feeling, especially when dealing with an insatiable casanova like Sanji. Though, could he really be called that? You’re certain the boy reeked of virginity.

So, Sanji is a flirt. That much is obvious. And there were plenty of times where it left you flustered or flushed or even unsure of what to say. Well, two can play at that game.

As the sun shines over the table where you’re sat on the deck, with the smell of lunch wafting heavily in the air, you’re suddenly consumed with the idea of getting him back today.

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“Here you go, gorgeous! A special pâté served on seaweed with garlic, all plated with care for a beautiful lady such as yourself.”

You pick up your fork, finding the attention to detail he gives just a little funny. It's cute, anyway. You scoop a piece of the pâté from the seaweed, just to taste - the savory flavor is obvious, with some kind of roasted quality that forces a hum from your throat. You grin up at Sanji, your eyes flickering over his face with great interest.

“My compliments to the chef.” You respond, your tone a touch playful.

Sanji beams, and you swear you hear him giggle? For a man so confident in his craft, he can be a real dork when receiving compliments from women. This is going to be fun.

“Aw, I'm so glad you like it! There's plenty more where that came from for someone as beautiful and sweet as you! Oh - did you do something with your hair? The sunlight is catching it just right today, and-”

He's babbling, and definitely going overboard on the doting.

“Oh, brother…” Nami mumbles from her seat next to you, and you can hear Zoro scoffing from the railing nearby where he’s supposed to be taking a nap.

Everyone is just a little too aware of Sanji's actions, and even Robin suppresses a small chuckle. You shrug it off, though, giving Sanji a warm smile.

“We're very lucky to have you aboard as chef, huh? It's always dinner and a show.” You laugh, leaning your chin on your palm as you observe him. “With a great view, too. You ever think about getting into performing?”

Sanji stiffens, a hand moving to the back of his neck as the tips of his ears turn red. You can tell by his expression that he’s clearly caught off-guard, and probably just thinking you’re being extra friendly. It’s still clear the effects your comments are having on him.

“Well, of course not. I'm just a cook.” He laughs awkwardly, his tone still overly excited as he avoids your eyes. “Why d'ya ask, princess?”

You stifle a giggle at the way he seems to get a little less confident.

“Oh, nothing. I'd just pay to see someone as handsome as you every night.” You reply simply, your smile widening into a grin.

“Seriously?” Nami mumbles from across the table, but you ignore it. Her annoyance at the scene isn't your problem.

Sanji doesn't grin, though. He freezes worse than before. You can see his curly brow twitching, and his mouth opens to speak. Nothing comes out, though, so it promptly shuts. The blush on his ears has slowly spread across his cheeks, and it brings out the color of his eyes in a way you haven’t noticed before.

You can't stifle the giggle this time. It rolls out, and Sanji clears his throat in an attempt to recover his demeanor. Even the giggle seems to have made his heart leap.

“W-Well, thank you, I'll-”

“And your hair looks better than mine today. Honestly, I'd love to run my fingers through it. You don't mind, do you?”

You reach a hand out to Sanji's sleeve, tugging on it gently to pull him closer. He doesn't move. Instead, he pulls his arm away, bringing it towards his face, which he turns the other direction. He’s covering the lower part of his face with his sleeve. What the hell? There were a lot of reactions you were expecting from Sanji, but that was not one of them.

”What’s wrong, Prince Chef? Can’t take what you dish out?” You tease.

”E-Excuse me!”

You watch Sanji stalk off, and you notice when he brings down his sleeve from his face that the once pristine-white fold over his coat is now red with what appears to be blood stains. Ah, so that’s what it was. You giggle to yourself, picking up your fork again and scooping some of the pâté. Damn, it really is good.

”Wow. I’ve never seen Sanji freeze up like that.” Nami says, and you can’t help but laugh a little louder.

“Just giving him a taste of his own medicine. Or, a taste of his own pâté.” You reply with a proud grin, leaning back in your seat. You take a bite, and the sound of Robin’s soft chuckle from across the table grabs your attention.

”You’d better be careful,” Robin chimes in, a soft smile on her lips. “You’re going to break his heart if you keep flirting with him like that.”

”Yeah, let her. Serves the idiot cook right for chasing everything in a skirt.” Zoro adds, not bothering to open his eye.

“Oh, come on. He can handle a little flirting. He’ll be alright.” You giggle, taking a bite from your fork.

Though the taste reminds you of Sanji, and how cute his blush was when you complimented his cooking. It was even cuter when you complimented his appearance. Just the thought of getting to see that look again stirs something in your chest that’s hard to pinpoint, but it grows as you fork another bite. Maybe, just maybe, the condition of Sanji’s heart in relation to you is something you’ll need to keep in mind.

i miss the rage (one piece season 1)