Ive Memorized Every Part Of You. I Can Remember How Your Hair Feels In My Hand. I Remember How Perfect

Aint it funny how life changes...

Why the fuck do you only notice my cuts now?

Where were you 2 years ago? You only notice now because ive given up on trying to hide it. All 4 of my limbs are covered in cuts, so i guess it was only just a matter of time... if only my fucking teacher hadnt made me take off my hoodie, you still wouldnt know or care.

In Biology we were talking about euthanasia and our thoughts on it. Literally everyone in my class was saying they couldnt imagine wanting to die. That they didnt even have the guts to even hurt themselves in any way. I kept getting flashbacks to last night, and all the fresh scars on my arms and legs and it made me die a little bit more inside, knowing how truly alone i was.

I really tried to make this work, and I hope you know that...

Fuck right and wrong. I'm doing whatever makes me happy. Im going to stop thinking about what anyone else thinks of me and my actions.

- I am who I am. Deal with it.

MY SISTER SNITCHED ON MY DAD CUZ SHE SAW MY WRISTS

I lied and told her it was only there and only once a week for a couple months...

She fucking believed me...

"You tell dad or I will"

"Okay, I will. I just need some time"

LITERALLY THE NEXT FUCKING DAY SHE SNITCHES

Fucking bitch stay out of my life. The reason I started cutting was because of you! You havent been around for YEARS. You have a new family and you fucking left me and I'm fine with that. Dont fucking come around now and pretend were actually good. DONT PRETEND ITS OKAY FOR YOU TO GIVE ME AN ULTIMATUM AND NOT EVEN GIVE ME A FUCKING CHANCE

IM DOING JUST FINE BITCH LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. AND WHEN I TELL YOU WHY I DO IT AND WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED DONT GO ON A 15 MINUTE SPEECH ABOUT HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS AND HOW GAY PEOPLE ARE GOING TO HELL

I'm sorry, did I fucking say I was gay? DID I SAY I WATCH PORN?

No. No I didnt. I said that I feel alone and that i want to kill myself and this was helping me

AND I SAID I KNOW ITS A BAD COPING MECHANISM BUT DID I ASK YOUR OPINION?!

THIS IS EXACTLY MY FUCKING POINT. Bitch. Stop putting fucking words in my mouth.

Imma kill someone, myself or her🤷‍♀️

Fuck off, Karen.

I still think we were meant to be, just not forever.

-My midnight thoughts.

I had a family, once. Then i fucked up and things were never the same.

- the funny thing is, i don't take it back. Im happier alone, and i think that scares me more...

When i met him, it was like taking a breath of fresh air. I can get used to this...

- (I think hes the one, so i hope i dont mess this up)

I knew it was too good to be true. I just knew i couldnt be happy for long.