Bsdndprplplld - You Can't Comb A Hairy Ball

Thank you, /r/ProgrammerHumor, I love you endlessly.

Redditors competing to make the worst volume sliders possible...

Every now and then I remember that Malbolge exists and I get to spend the better part of an hour cry-laughing at the world’s worst programming language

already starting off strong, but it gets worse

Wow! Sounds easy and intuitive to use! What’s the “crazy operation” you ask? We’ll get to that later. For now let’s see what a program in this language looks like :)

Thanks! I hate it!

it’s so difficult to work with that the first program was written by another brute force search program

mmmmm delicious base-3 arithmetic, what could go wrong? (For reference, that means this program forgoes the usual “0/1″ values of binary code in favor of a much more fun “0/1/2″ set of values)

ah.

Here’s how the language actually figures out what to do. It’s got 8 “simple” commands that can be executed easily by *checks notes* running the code itself through the modulo operation and taking the result.

As a bonus, on top of all that every single character in your code will now alter what every single other character does. So I hope you’re alright with cracking a cipher every time you add a new letter to your program!

oh god oh fuck.

behold, Malbolge’s primary arithmetic operation and what you’ll be using for most of your math while programming with it :)

This looks specifically designed to be the least logical math operation you could make, and knowing what the rest of Malbolge is I’d wager that’s precisely what happened. I never want to ever use this and it’s my favorite thing I’ve ever seen.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malbolge

Anyways here’s the wiki page if you wanna read through it more deeply, I’m gonna sit here holding in my laughter staring at the hello world program again.

If a homomorphism is a structure preserving map and an isomorphism is a bijective homorphism, does that mean an isosexual is a bijective homosexual?

why is deciding on a title for my thesis so hard

The proof is left as an exercise to the IRS

Want to learn something new in 2022??

Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)

40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)

Excellent basic crochet video series

Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)

Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)

How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)

Another drawing character faces video

Literally my favorite art pose hack

Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??

Introduction to flying small aircrafts

French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding

Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)

Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)

Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)

Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:

Calculus 1 (full semester class)

Learn basic statistics (free textbook)

Introduction to college physics (free textbook)

Introduction to accounting (free textbook)

Learn a language:

Ancient Greek

Latin

Spanish

German

Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)

French

Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)

also i'm having a quarrel with my parents, i'm afraid they will disown me or kick me out

they are anti-vax and full-blown conspiracy theorist and my mother found out i took a covid vax

the fact that my father believes the earth is flat makes me so motivated to become a full-time scientist, being the very thing they hate. then they could not undermine what i say with "what the fuck do you know, you're just a student"

my father likes you only if you agree with him and he literally tells me every time we talk that i am stupid and should go fuck myself. not that i don't say the same things to him, i do, i hate the fact that this is how this relationship works

i am aware that doing things to prove something to someone is not the way to go but up to this point it was just my goal, one of many, to be a scientist, now it feels like a necessity

“Mathematics is a giant room, full of toys—some of which have very long instruction manuals.”

— Jacob Lurie

21 VII 2023

oh god I haven't posted anything personal in a very long time

I've been super busy with exams, essays and then my thesis, all I did was sleeping and studying

I defended my thesis 40 minutes ago! it's done! in two months I am starting the master's degree program

this was probably the most brutal exam session I ever had lol it started a month ago and I had no day off since. after finishing my normal exams I've been working 12 hours per day to complete my thesis and thanks to my advisor who was working just as hard as me, we did it

I was so close to failing differential geometry. the exam was really bad, probably my worst ever. the questions were mostly about this one topic covered during the last class – we discussed maybe 3 problems and the professor decided that this is good enough lol basically we were supposed to read his mind and guess what else there is to learn. I scored 35% and apparently that's more than enough to pass – the grades go from 3 to 5 and I got 3.5, so that's literally "more than enough to pass". there were only 3 people who scored 50% or more, so yeah, that seems fair

that week of studying differential geometry was the most stressful week in the last 3 years, I fucking hate it when it's unclear what I'm supposed to learn and I have no idea how to do it. thank god I passed, I don't know how I would do it again before taking the september exam

anyway, I passed algebraic topology, number theory and algebra 2 with flying colors and the reviewers really loved my thesis! they strongly suggest publishing it, but I think I will try to finish the second part of the proof before I do that

I already found the advisor for my master's thesis, of course I don't know what it's gonna be about, but since I had some algebraic topology this year, I am thinking it's time to learn algebraic geometry now

sweet jesus it's finally over, I can't believe it. and something new is starting

28 V 2022

topology and analysis tests are over, both went I think alright

if I don't get 100% from topo I'm going to be very frustrated, because I studied hard and acquired deep understanding of the material – so far as to be able to hold a lecture for my classmate about any topic

analysis ughhh if I get ≥40% I will be overjoyed. but that's just the specifics of this subject, you study super hard and seem to be entirely ready, you solve all of the problems in prep and then best you can do is 40%. my best score so far was 42%, so anything more than that will be my lifetime record lmao, I want this so bad. I solved two problems entirely I think, which should give 40% already, and some pieces from two more, chances are I get 50%, which would be absolutely amazing

here are some pictures from me transforming math into an art project

stokes theorem

topology

I was thinking about how annoying I find what people say to me when I tell them that I'm not happy with how I'm doing at math. their first idea is to tell me how great I am and how all I do is good enough and shit like that. it doesn't help, it just feels like I am not being taken seriously. when I barely pass anything, am I really supposed to believe that everything is actually good? it feels like they skip getting to know my situation and just tell me what they would tell anyone, automatic

when I try to calm myself down and think something that will keep me going I don't try to force myself to be happy, fuck that, not being content with one's achievements is very fine, I believe not being happy all the time is fully natural and all that positivity feels so fake

instead what seems to work is asking myself where the rational threshold of being ok with how I'm doing is. the thing is I will never be satisfied, whatever I have, I always want more. but I can set the limits in advance and that stops me from falling into self-loathing loops

although what has really changed the game for me was getting a few good grades, finally I am achieving something, anything. people tell me that I should learn to be alright without this external reliance on achievements but how am I supposed to do that when the source of my low moods is precisely getting less than I want? I don't understand why I should brainwash myself into thinking that this is actually not what I want. the trick here is to separate the goal-orientedness from the sense of self-worth. the groundbreaking realization of mine was figuring out that I believe I deserve more than I get, that's why I am unhappy. so now that I am getting what I think what I deserve I obviously feel much better