Been In A Funk Lately. :/ So I’m Experimenting With Different Techniques To Try And Get Myself Out

me, as a supervillain: we are not so different, you and I…

hero, struggling against their bonds: That’s not true! I’m nothing like you!

me, rolling out several whiteboards filled with diagrams and charts: No, it’s literary foiling. See? I’ve been very careful about this.

hero: Why? Why are you doing all this?

me, cackling: You fool! For thematic consistency, of course! Now prepare to metaphorically reconcile with your father figure!

After watching Sonicmega get rather salty at the Nickelodeon game Paw Patrol: On a Roll and quickly typing up a rather stern letter, I knew I had to try voicing it myself.

Give him a follow and help him on his journey to Partner!

transcript under the cut

I recently purchased a copy of Nickelodeon Paw Patrol: On a Roll! via the Nintendo eShop for exactly $20.00 USD. I cannot begin to describe to you how excited I was to play this game, given that I am an avid lover of canines and most animals in general - with the exception of slugs because a slug once got into our kitchen and left behind some of its slime, which my mother mistook for me spilling food (and subsequently spanked me for). On top of this, I know that Nickelodeon understands the importance of building positive, healthy relationships in children, including those of their beloved family pets. It goes without saying, then, that I was fully prepared to see my hard work rewarded in PAW PATROL: ON A ROLL via the ability to “pet the dogs” after a successful mission. IMAGINE MY SUBSEQUENT DISMAY, upon learning that not only do I never get the chance to pet the Good Boyes, the main character of the game doesn’t even take it upon himself to give them the attention and praise they deserve! How could a company like Nintendo let such an important, integral part of bonding with a dog be left unattended, much less permit a game that ignores the most enjoyable part of having a dog in front of you to be sold for TWENTY AMERICAN-BLOODED DOLLARS? I can’t even go out to a dog park because of this pandemic, and yet you have robbed me not only of my money, but also my chance to pet a dog in some form. I would like to formally request that you refund my purchase of PAW PATROL: On a Roll, and return my $20 back to me so that I may use it for other dog-related activities - such as hiring a dog groomer to Zoom me in to one of their next sessions, or buy myself accessories and pretend I am the dog (allowing me to thus pet myself through use of a psychological loophole). In either case, it will bring me closer to petting a dog than this game managed to. I thank you for understanding my plight in this time of great need.

‪So listen. I’ve had this song stuck in my head for two days now because of this tweet. Look what they have done.‬

I submitted a bio for an application to have my poetry looked at and I decided on this:

Tamara is a queer female poet, musician, and actress from PA. She is also a Taurus, but isn’t quite as happy about it as the other things. She once climbed out a window to avoid small talk.

More of my wonderous work! Gaze in awe as Baron Von Blight sets about his joyous work. #inktober2016 #doodles

Day 4 - Freeze

I appologize, this one got way out of hand. Hopefully you still enjoy.

Prompt: Freeze

Title: A Pilot is the Soul

At the Combat Robotics center in the big city, a crowd of photographers and important looking people in suits had arrived to witness the latest prototype in Fighter Robo being showcased that day. Investors from leading tech companies, as well as KFL fans, had gathered to see the fruits of their investments. As well as the return of a retired KFL Robo Pilot. One dapper gentleman known as Danny Fierce. He was one of the first humans who took his military combat robo rig and had it refurbished for KFL fights. 

His majestic partner stood at the entrance, proud as the day it was re-commissioned for the KFL. For his part, Danny walked up to an anxious-looking intern that was frantically looking around, clutching her clipboard and pen.

“Hey, excuse me. The email didn’t say where to go.” He said, slipping off his weathered cap and scratching his head, “Don’t suppose you could help with that?”

The intern gasped, “Oh thank goodness, we thought you got lost.” She clicked her pen and brought it to her mouth, “Mr. Fierce has arrived at the north entrance, I’ll take him to the briefing room.” The pen crackled some kind of response. She smiled and waved to him, “Follow me please.”

They slipped past the crowd and into the center. Passing by the posters and displays for the latest prototype. There were even some inside the elevator they rode to the top floor. Danny took note of one beside him. He muttered to himself.

“The Maverick mark two. Synthetic craftsmanship honed to its utmost potential? Pah,” He said shaking his head, “Just give me a rig and hold the synthetics.” He looked to his guide, she kept politely silent. 

The elevator opened up to a conference area. At the main podium, was the leader of the Combat Robo program. She waved to them.

“Yes yes, come in. Glad you could make it.” She said and gestured to a seat beside her. “For the guest of honor.”

Danny smiled and made his way past the other rows of tired-looking scientists and engineers. Some had let their chins dip to their chests and were snoring softly. When he arrived at the podium, he reached out to shake her hand.

“Danny Fierce, reporting for duty, Miss--”

“Doctor, actually,” She said, taking his hand, “Doctor Abigail Bishop.” She smiled and gave his hand a firm shake.

Danny smiled and nodded, “Got it,” He took his seat beside the podium, “Please continue.”

“Of course,” Doctor Bishop said. “Today is the big day team. We’ve put in the hours and now comes time to show it off to our eager investors. Right now, they are getting the VIP treatment and the awesome sizzle reel that our media team was nice enough to put together.” She said and motioned to a group seated in the back. They gave a weary cheer, the rest of the congregation applauded.

“And speaking of VIP treatment,” She said, “A round of applause for our very special guest, the renowned robo pilot Danny Fierce.” She clapped, others followed suit. Danny waved politely.

“We stand at a crossroads, my fellow creators,” She continued, “A new era is about to dawn. We have suffered through the setbacks and struggles of mark one, but with this, the mark two, we shall showcase the incredible might of Combat Robo development team!” She clicked a small remote and a projection shot up from the center of the room to showcase the specs and holographic design of the new robo rig. Supportive applause fluttered around the room.

Danny leaned forward.”Say, that’s pretty compact,” He said, “How is a pilot supposed to fit in there?”

Doctor Bishop smirked at him and clicked the remote again, “Oh no no, my archaic friend.” The image switched over to a spec readout, a highlighted phrase said, “Remote Operation and Autonomous Control modes”.

He leaned back, “Ah, I see.” He folded his arms and shook his head, “I dunno, you take the pilot out of the rig, the metal ain’t got no soul.” 

She wore a professional smile, the kind hewn from stone and salt that belies the teeth clenched behind tightly pressed lips. 

“Well, old man,” She said, “That’s what we are here to showcase.” She clicked the remote again. It brought up the specs of Danny’s rig, the Dandy Piston, and the not so flattering details. Including but not limited to a highlight phrase that said, “Unpredictable Human Error”.

“Oh, I get it now.” He said, a smile played across his face. He looked at her, “A friendly exhibition.”

She smiled, “Friendly, yes.”

The meeting dispersed and the crowds gathered at the research center’s KFL ring. Maverick Mk.2 was standing proudly inside the pristine ring. Carbon-fiberglass platting designed to look like an upright fighter jet with legs. Sleek, deadly, and super cool. 

Opposite the black and red rig was Dandy Piston, Danny’s faithful rig. The center was kind enough to get the cobwebs off of it before having it deposited into the ring. Danny stood on the staging balcony situated at what would be called the rig’s neck. Danny slipped into the last of his piloting gear, modeled after the aviators of old, all leather and insulating fur. The most high tech thing on his person, the headset the Doctor was nice enough to lend him, buzzed in his ear.

“Are you ready?” The voice was the anxious intern. 

“Just about.” Danny responded. He popped open the hatch and slipped his way down into the gyro cockpit. He sat back in the pilot seat, a wave of nostalgia washed over him.

“Hey there, you old fool, you remember me?” He ran his hands over the various levers and dials that made up his configuration. He took his time remembering each switch and the feel of the pedals under his feet. “Got another fight left in you?” 

He slipped his hand under the main console and triggered the startup command. The cockpit hummed to life, lights flickering on and gauges spinning to calibration. The music of the machine took Danny to a special place in his mind. A time of great battles, struggles, fear, and triumph. He smiled.

“Uh, are you ready, yet?” The anxious voice said in his ear.

Danny sighed, letting his shoulder slump. “Can’t let me have anything, can ya,” He muttered before adding, “Yeah yeah, we’re ready to rumble.”

Up in the command center, a host of the section leaders were gathered in front of various terminals, all whirring and beeping with up-to-date information of the condition of the Maverick. Doctor Bishop walked the rows, checking on last-minute adjustments.

“Matilda, Flick me the diagnostics. Marco, make sure the software is at its most recent patch, should be 11.5.1. Chell, no drinks at the terminals, please thank you. Juliette?” 

The anxious intern looked from her terminal, lifting an earphone from her headset, “Yes, Abby?” 

Abigail cleared her throat.

“Oh uh, I mean, Doctor Bishop? What is it?”

She smiled, “How is the fossil doing?”

Juliette looked back at her terminal and leaned into the microphone, “Uh, are you ready yet?” She paused and then nodded, “Okay, he said he’s ready.”

Doctor Bishop clapped her hands, “Wonderful, then let’s begin.” She dashed to the front of the command center and clicked her remote, a camera drone floated up to record her.

Out in the KFL ring, a robo announcer drone flew up to address the audience.

“Honorable guests one and all. Welcome to our demonstration exhibition match. Today, our latest creation, the remarkable Maverick mark two, will clash with one of the best robo pilots of the last generation, Danny Fierce. Please, enjoy the show.”

There came applause and cheering. A few of the gentlemen in suits who wore their graying hair in conservative styles, whooped and hollered the loudest, even starting a small chant for Danny.

The announcer drone floated up between the two competitors. 

“Are the fighters ready?” She said.

Danny rolled his shoulders and cranked his controls, Dandy Piston responded by pumping a fist in the air. 

“We’re ready to dance!” His voice cracked out of the rig’s megaphone.

Abigail looked across the command center, her eyes falling on Juliette. For her part, the nervous intern put on her game face and nodded.

“Well then,” Doctor Bishop’s voice boomed from the announcer drone. “Let’s BRAWL!”

The Maverick sprang to attention and charged at Piston. Metal clashed and sparks flew as the two massive battle robots exchanged blows. The audience roared with each heavy hit. Piston was a little sluggish at the start, taking a few hits that rattled Danny in his seat.

“Yeesh, at least dance with me a little before taking me back to the hotel room.” Danny grunted into the mic.

“S-sorry. Your simulation was a lot harder. Should I hold back a little?” Juliette said.

“Oh, so you got sass, huh?” Danny said. He grit his teeth and jammed a pedal. A kick flew up and caught Maverick in the chest, sending it staggering backwards. “Ha, how’d ya like the pepper on that?”

The sleek rig straightened up. Juliette came back on the line, “Actually, that should just about finish it.”

“Finish? But we were just getting warmed up,” Danny protested.

“What she means,” Doctor Bishop said, cutting into the channel, “Is she will no longer need to fight you.”

She looked around the command center, her team looking up to confirm.

“Matilda, good. Chell, excellent. Marco. Marco? How we looking?” She said.

The engineer was furiously typing at his terminal, “Uh, fine. Yeah, we’re fine. It’s fine.” He gave a thumbs up.

She smiled. “Finally.”

She clicked the remote again, her announcer doppelganger appeared before the crowd.

“Been enjoying the fight, KFL fans?”

Cheers came from the crowd.

“Because now it is time to show what the Maverick can really do! Time to switch to Autonomous mode!” She clicked her remote again.

The Maverick snapped to attention, its eyes changing color. Once a humming red, they became a pulsing green. It stood pensive opposite Piston.

Danny squinted at his display, watching the idle rig across from them. Moments drifted by before he chuckled into his mic, “So uh, is it supposed to be doing something?”

There was no response from the headset. Until a voice shrieked.

“Why are its eyes green?” Abigail shouted.

Her team was frantically typing at their terminals. Juliette smashed the buttons on her controller to no avail. Matilda was flipping through a dense tome of code. Chell scrolled through dense code on her terminal. Marco fought to deny eye-contact and keep a low profile. It did not go unnoticed.

“Marco?” She said, walking quickly to him, “Fine? It will be fine?” She asked, pulling him back away from the terminal. The screen said, “Latest patch, 10.9.1”. She stood up straight and took a deep breath.

“Are you telling me, our prized prototype is standing like a dead lump of metal in front of all our investors because it had a system crash?” She said, visibly shaking.

Marco opened and closed his mouth to say something a few times before Abigail heard laughing coming through her headset.

“Aw now, you can’t blame the poor rig.” He said, pushing down on a pedal to have Piston approach the stoic Maverick. “Everyone goes through it in their first fight.” He laughed, “The Freeze.”

He got within a robotic arm’s length. In the cockpit, Danny flipped open a panel that had a big red switch. He let a wide grin pass his face as he flipped the switch. The rig started to hum louder, charging, priming, getting ready. He pulled back a lever, Piston readied a balled fist.

Abigail snarled into the mic, “What are you doing?”

“Let’s see if a nice, hard reset will do the trick?” Danny said.

“Don’t you dare!” She cried out. But it was too late.

In the audience, when they saw Piston wind up, they went wild. They knew what was coming. It had been the signature move of the pilot and his rig back in his day. The crowd cheered as the massive metal fist slammed into the sleek rig’s chest plate, lifting it off the ground. Then, the deafening crash as the hydraulic piston built into its arm sent a massive shock wave rippling through the Maverick and knocking it up into the air, end over end, in a shower of sparks and shredded metal.

The advanced piece of tech landed in a heap on the ground at Dandy Piston’s feet. The crowd was on their feet, cheering for their hero.

Abigail stood in the command center, Marco had pushed his chair far away and now she was left standing alone. Her jaw was clenched as thoughts raced through her mind. The remote that connected her to the investors that had paid for their project was heavy in her hand. Her fingers slowly loosened and let it fall from her grip. 

It was caught by another pair of hands. Juliette smiled and put the remote back in her hand.

“Just another setback.” She said. “Like the mark one. Just think of how good the mark three will be with all this data.”

Abigail shook her head, “There might not be a mark three, not with that pathetic display.”

“I dunno,” Danny said, hollering through the headset, “Seems like my fans got one hellava show.” He laughed, “You tell them I am already on board for the rematch against Maverick mark three, and they’ll fall all over themselves to put money behind it.”

Abigail looked out the window to the ring, where Dandy Piston was striking heroic poses to a no doubt elated crowd. She looked back at Juliette, who patted the remote in her hand and returned to her terminal.

Doctor Bishop took a deep breath. “Minor setback folks,” She said to her team, “Now let’s go win em back.” She clicked the remote.

The folks in nice suits were stepped back into their fancy cars, smiles all around. Danny waved to them as they went off. Juliette stood beside him.

“So, the soul in the metal?” She asked, “Is that how you won your fights?”

Danny looked at her and laughed, “No, I won most of them by being a little stubborn and a lot of lucky. I just wanted to bitch at your boss a bit.” He stroked his chin and looked up at Dandy Piston as it was being loaded into a transport. “But maybe--.” He shook his head, “Bah, I’m gettin old. Come get me when you need a rusty pilot to wrestle with your latest rig.”

He headed off to his ride. Juliette finished taking her notes and hurried back inside. As the new full-time assistant for Doctor Bishop, she would be very busy.

The Wreckers - In the Junkyard

Another round of thugly antics. Again, check out Puckarooni for her Pokemon Superhero AU. Cool jams, friendos.

Alolan Joe - Alolan Ratata Leader and self proclaimed mousestache afficianado

Ben - Spearow Brawn of the group of Bachelor of Thuganomics

Zach - Zigzagoon Dunno what he’s doing, but he’s doing it well

Sherman - Sentret Newbie, but he makes up for it with heart

~~~

“Alright, Gents.” Joe said, strapping on his goggles

“Who wants to go first?”

Ben and Sherman’s hands both shot up, Zach was taking his time strapping on his hard hat.

Joe stroked his luxurious lip fluff, “Hmm, let’s see what the new recruit has to offer. Sherman, you’re up.”

Sherman pumped his fist and smiled at Ben. Ben gave him a curt snort before tossing the sledgehammer at him. Sherman fumbled the catch but managed to miss having it land on his toes. He gathered up the hammer and scurried to the center of the junkyard where they had set up their latest target. A sleek, heavy duty, Ironclad™ mini-vault safe.

“Okay,” Sherman said, squaring his feet and tugging at his leather gloves. “Watch this.”

He brought the sledgehammer way back behind him, twisting almost all the way around. He then let out a warrior cry, something of a mix between a painful yelp and yodelling, and brought the sledgehammer against the side of the safe. The metal-on-metal clang rang out through the junkyard. The others brought their hands up over their ears. The safe keeled onto two of its legs before settling back to stability. The ringing died out and Sherman turned around.

His whole body was shaking from the heavy impact. “How was that?”

Zach gave a golf clap, Joe chuckled under his breath. Ben shook his head, “Alright alright, amateur hour is over. We don’t have all night to bust this thing open.”

He sauntered over to Sherman and snagged the sledge out of his trembling hands. Sherman smiled up at him, expectantly. Ben scowled down the bridge of his nose at him. “Uh…Not bad, I guess.” He sniffed and noticed the small dent at the side of the safe, “Now, stand back. Let me show you how it’s done.” He smirked.

Sherman nodded and scuttled back a few steps. Ben took the sledgehammer in his hands and tested its weight, a few test swings swiping at the air. Like a baseball star, he rolled his shoulders, spat on his hands, shook his arms out.

“While we’re young, tough guy.” Joe called out.

“Bite Me, Nerd!” Ben hollered back.

Joe folded his arms and laughed. He turned to Zach, “Think he can actually bust that thing open?”

Zach had finished suiting up with a dust mask and looked like a post-apocalyptic refugee. Zach looked at Ben’s prep ritual and shrugged. “Maybe.”

“I heard that.” Ben said, shouldering the hammer, “Okay, here we go.” He whipped the hammer high over his head and roared his own battle cry. For a whole minute, Ben whaled against the safe. He slammed the sides, top and legs, driving the safe into the dirt. Over and over the hammer fell to the brittle tune of clanging metal. When he finished, the sledge hammer landed beside him with a heavy thud. Ben fought to catch his breath.

“Damn, what’s this thing made of?”

“WHAT!?” Shouted Sherman, standing a few feet away.

“I SAID! -Nevermind.” Ben dragged the hammer back to where Joe was standing. Zach had vanished to places unknown. Sherman hustled behind him.

“Alright, Joe.” Ben said, holding out the hammer to him. “Show us what you got.”

Joe lifted his eyebrows, “What’s this? You’ve given up?”

Sherman, ears slowly returning to their rightful tone frequency, chimed in, “Hey hey, I can go again.”

Ben ignored him, “This was your idea, fearless leader. Let’s see you put your money where your mouth is.”

Joe looked at the hammer, then back at Joe. “Alright, Ben.” He took the tool out of Ben’s hands, “But when I crack this thing open, I expect you to start treating me with a little more respect.”

Ben scoffed as Joe whisped past him. Sherman scooted up beside Ben, who stepped a little bit away. Sherman followed. Ben grumbled.

Joe came to the center of the junkyard. The atmosphere of the yard became heavy. He dragged the metal sledge along the ground and it rattled against the various pieces of scrap along the way. The florescent lights hummed above and there was a quiet breeze that picked up a few scattered bits of paper, causing them to dance in the air.

Joe squared off with the safe. He took a deep breath and pulled the heavy sledge hammer into the air. He ratcheted his torso, twisting back and leveling the hammer. The air stood still in anticipation. Ben and Sherman held their breath, along with Zach, whom had returned at some point. Then, with a mighty howl, Joe spun his body and connected with the pointed edge of the safe. The metal clang was joined with a loud crack and snap. The head of the sledgehammer sailed through the air and landed a few feet away from Joe with a dull thud. The safe had been scuffed to the side a few inches, but aside from that was unchanged.

Ben clucked and doubled over, laughing heartily. Sherman shouted from beside him, “That was Awesome!”

Joe turned and casually walked over to the busted head of the hammer. He regarded it before gathering the lump of metal and returning to the rest of the crew.

“Well gents, looks like- Ben you can stop now- looks like we’ll need another plan.”

“What’s in the safe, anyway?” Sherman asked.

“Documents, of some nature.” Said Joe. “They must be pretty dangerous if they want us to Wreck them.”

“What if,” Sherman said, looking excitedly between Joe and Ben, Zach had shuffled off to sniff around the safe. “What if we just hold the stuff ransom? Maybe we can blackmail the guy?”

Joe stroked his stache. Ben gathered himself, “No, cause then we wouldn’t be the Wreckers anymore.” He folded his arms in a tough guy flex, “We’d be the Blackmailers. Or whatever.”

Joe nodded, “He’s right, and I’m already getting T-shirts made.”

“We’re Getting T-Shirts?” Sherman exclaimed.

“You bet, as soon as we crack this safe. Now then.” Joe looked at the busted sledgehammer, “We’ll need a new plan to get those–”

“Done,” Zach said, holding up a manila folder stuffed with documents, the word “classified” was barely visible on a sheet jutting from the mass.

They all looked at the folder, then to the safe, the door was open with no further apparent damage. Joe, with an exceedingly puzzled look on his face, took the folder.

Sherman gawked, “How did you do that?”

Zach held out his hands and gestured with is fingers, wiggling them and twisting his wrist. “Just…ya know.” He did some more wangjangling and fidgeting, “That.” He nodded with a satisfied look on his face.

Sherman watched the display intently, mimicking the frivolous actions as best he could. When Zach was done, he looked at his hands. “That’s wild,” He said, a little disheartened that it made little sense to him.

Ben scoffed, “Well, whatever. I probably loosened it up for him.” He looked over to Joe, “Alright, so now..?” He trailed off expectantly.

Joe took the hint and walked over to an oil drum, “Now, we do what we do best.” He tossed the folder into the bin.

“We Wreck Stuff!” Sherman called out and ran back to the edge of the clearing, grabbing a half tank of gasoline they had stashed there. He hustled it over to Ben and handed off the payload. Sherman had not yet achieved “Burn it” status yet, but he was eager to help.

They gathered around the drum as Ben poured in a responsible amount of fuel into the drum, and then added an irresponsible amount with a sinister grin.

Joe held a hand out to Zach, who whipped a match from his pocket and placed it into Joe’s palm. “Alright Ben, that’s enough.”

Ben rejoined them and set down the tank of gasoline. The three of them watched Joe expectantly.

“This is another job,” Joe lit the match with a strike against his teeth, “Well done.”

He tossed the match into the oil drum and it immediately burst into a column of flame. The four of them stepped back at the spectacle.

“This is so damn cool.” Said Sherman. “Don’t you think this is cool?” He said, turning to Zach.

“Maybe.” Said Zach, who was already busy trying to pry open the lid of what looked like a jewel box.

Ben glanced at Joe, “‘Well done’? Are you freakin serious?”

“What can I say, I have a–,” Joe turned to Ben, so the firelight glimmered off his goggles, “Flare for dramatics.”

Ben groaned.

Reposting for the tags. #agreement

I’m gonna try this thing where I post more frequently with whatever I drew for the day, whether I’m satisfied with it or not. Bear with me. Or just be a bear. That works too.

Tips for writing flawed but lovable characters.

Flawed characters are the ones we root for, cry over, and remember long after the story ends. But creating a character who’s both imperfect and likable can feel like a tightrope walk. 

1. Flaws That Stem From Their Strengths

When a character’s greatest strength is also their Achilles' heel, it creates depth.

Strength: Fiercely loyal.

Flaw: Blind to betrayal or willing to go to dangerous extremes for loved ones.

“She’d burn the whole world down to save her sister—even if it killed her.”

2. Let Their Flaws Cause Problems

Flaws should have consequences—messy, believable ones.

Flaw: Impatience.

Result: They rush into action, ruining carefully laid plans.

“I thought I could handle it myself,” he muttered, staring at the smoking wreckage. “Guess not.”

3. Show Self-Awareness—or Lack Thereof

Characters who know they’re flawed (but struggle to change) are relatable. Characters who don’t realize their flaws can create dramatic tension.

A self-aware flaw: “I know I talk too much. It’s just… silence makes me feel like I’m disappearing.” A blind spot: “What do you mean I always have to be right? I’m just better at solving problems than most people!”

4. Give Them Redeeming Traits

A mix of good and bad keeps characters balanced.

Flaw: They’re manipulative.

Redeeming Trait: They use it to protect vulnerable people.

“Yes, I lied to get him to trust me. But he would’ve died otherwise.”

Readers are more forgiving of flaws when they see the bigger picture.

5. Let Them Grow—But Slowly

Instant redemption feels cheap. Characters should stumble, fail, and backslide before they change.

Early in the story: “I don’t need anyone. I’ve got this.”

Midpoint: “Okay, fine. Maybe I could use some help. But don’t get used to it.”

End: “Thank you. For everything.”

The gradual arc makes their growth feel earned.

6. Make Them Relatable, Not Perfect

Readers connect with characters who feel human—messy emotions, bad decisions, and all.

A bad decision: Skipping their best friend’s wedding because they’re jealous of their happiness.

A messy emotion: Feeling guilty afterward but doubling down to justify their actions.

A vulnerable moment: Finally apologizing, unsure if they’ll be forgiven.

7. Use Humor as a Balancing Act

Humor softens even the most prickly characters.

Flaw: Cynicism.

Humorous side: Making snarky, self-deprecating remarks that reveal their softer side.

“Love? No thanks. I’m allergic to heartbreak—and flowers.”

8. Avoid Overdoing the Flaws

Too many flaws can make a character feel unlikable or overburdened.

Instead of: A character who’s selfish, cruel, cowardly, and rude.

Try: A character who’s selfish but occasionally shows surprising generosity.

“Don’t tell anyone I helped you. I have a reputation to maintain.”

9. Let Them Be Vulnerable

Vulnerability adds layers and makes flaws understandable.

Flaw: They’re cold and distant.

Vulnerability: They’ve been hurt before and are terrified of getting close to anyone again.

“It’s easier this way. If I don’t care about you, then you can’t leave me.”

10. Make Their Flaws Integral to the Plot

When flaws directly impact the story, they feel purposeful rather than tacked on.

Flaw: Their arrogance alienates the people they need.

Plot Impact: When their plan fails, they’re left scrambling because no one will help them.

Flawed but lovable characters are the backbone of compelling stories. They remind us that imperfection is human—and that growth is possible.

King Carnage Awakens

A fever dream given form, this story is going to be a wild ramble. A monstrous villain gets a day job, but how long will it last? Enjoy. ~~~

Cassidy Quake typed methodically on his specially designed keyboard for those with massive reptilian fingers. He leaned back in his specially designed chair for long, thick, armored tails. He adjusted his specially designed headset for long curling horns. He was muttering the series of numbers and serial codes for shipping rates. A small alert popped up on his screen. "Break Time!"

He let a faint smile pass his face. "Finally." He pushed the keyboard aside, took off his headset, and awkwardly stood up from his chair. He grabbed the "Employee of the Month" mug that he stole from a coworker and headed to the break room. Inside, his buddy Malk was idly sitting at the table, cleaning his feathery antenna with his upper pair of arms, his lower pair clutched his coffee cup. He greeted Cassidy as he came in.

"Hey buddy, how'd the date go?" Malk asked politely.

"Didn't go the way I thought it would," Cassidy replied. He walked over to the coffee machine against the back wall.

"Oh?" Malk said, slowly stirring his coffee, "Do tell."

"Well for starters," Cassidy said, tapping out his order on the machine, "She wasn't a natural blond." The machine buzzed to life and coughed out the hot brew. "And also, she was an agent of GUILT trying to hire me for a heist."

Malk nodded and sipped his coffee, "That must have been hard to deal with. I know how much you like blonds."

Cassidy joined him at the table and blew the steam off his coffee, "Yeah, how could she lie like that?"

"So," Malk asked leaning forward, "Did you take the job?"

"Of course not, you dingus." Cassidy said. "I swore off working for GUILT, buncha sad sacks." He sipped his coffee and let out a refreshed sigh.

"So you could say," Malk said in his typical sing-songy voice that he uses for bad jokes, "They couldn't GUILT you into it, eh?"

Cassidy set down his coffee carefully before leveling a glare at Malk, "Some days," He began, letting the heat in his voice radiate and shimmer in front of him, "I think you actually want me to swat you, bugman."

Malk laughed, "Some days," He said, curling his mandible into something like a smirk, "I want you to. Would get me out of this dull-ass job for a few weeks."

"If you hate it so much, why are you still here?" Cassidy said. He wasn't angry. He was genuinely curious. He wasn't even looking at Malk when he asked. His head was down, staring at his cup of black coffee. Perhaps he was really just asking himself.

"I need those creds, man." Malk said, folding his lower pair of arms. He leaned forward onto the elbows of his upper arms, "But once I pay off my debt, I'm outta here." He nodded to himself, and spoke a little more softly, "I'm outta here."

They shared an uncomfortable silence. Then the breakroom phone rang out. They looked at each other.

"Hey, I'm still on break," Cassidy said. "You're just slacking off."

Malk buzzed a grumble before flapping his wings to bring himself to his feet and swaggering over to the phone. He picked up the phone and said in a cheesy, radio announcer voice, "You've reached the Dastard Industries break room, what can I do for you?"

A low-tone grumble and roar was bellowing on the other end of the line. Malk nodded along, adding non-committal chirps as reply.

"Right now?" Malk said at last. He turned to glance at Cassidy, who responded by tapping his coffee cup and then pointing at his watch. Malk sighed, "Yeah, I'll be right there." Cassidy smiled and sipped his coffee. Malk continued with, "Uh-huh,", "Yeah", and finally, "Right away, sir" before hanging up.

He walked back to the table and downed the rest of his coffee. "Looks like paradise still eludes me, old friend." He turned and left the break room.

Cassidy looked up at the clock above the door, still some time left to enjoy his break. He could contemplate his mistakes in life, a favored pastime. Or maybe he could create another plot theory for his favorite TV shows. It would give him something to talk to Laura about. If she ever calls back. Even if she was a GUILT agent, he still felt a kind of connection.

The phone on the wall rang again. Cassidy let his shoulders slump forward. He let out a begrudging moan as he rocked to his feet and walked over to the phone.

"Hello, this is the break room." He said in a tired voice.

"Hello, King Carnage." Said a heavy, rumbling voice. "We meet again."

Cassidy glanced around him, "Meet?"

But the break room was empty. Just the chairs, table and the too-small fridge they all had to share. It was a pain really. They should get a bigger fridge if they expect people to bring their lunches. Not everyone can go to the food carts every day. Management needs to get their act together.

"Oh wait," The voice said, "One second."

A humming sound came from the receiver and grew louder until it became a howl. Cassidy dropped the phone and stepped away from the wall until he was up against the table. A flash of electricity arced from the phone and struck the ground. The strike crackled on the floor to form the runes of a summoning gate. From which a blast of heat and sound errupted forth and opened a door to the abyss. A dark figure stepped through, clad in abyssal black armor and a cape made of nightmares. The horns on their helmet nearly touched the ceiling. Once they had fully emerged, the gate snapped shut behind them with a wisp of black smoke.

"Hello King Carnage, we meet again." They said again, the rumble in their voice made the room shake.

Cassidy pushed himself off the table and clapped, "Well hot damn, that was some trick, King Darkness."

The tall, foreboding figure tipped their head, "Why thank you. I spare no expense for you, King Carnage. But enough formalities," They swept their arm back, causing the cape to flourish behind them, "I have a job for you."

Cassidy sighed and shook his head, "Katie, I can't."

"Oh come on!" She said and pulled her helmet off, long black hair fell around the large eye that took up most of their face. "You haven't even heard what it is yet." Her gravelly voice had turned squeaky and pleading.

He gestured around him, "I am at work, Katie."

She pointed an accusing finger, "No," She smiled, "You are on break."

"For, like, 7 more minutes," He fired back, "I can't go on a job with you."

"That's more than enough time." She said. She snapped her fingers and a swirl of dark magic swirled into her open hand, is showed two figures. "We hop through the Forever Gate, grab the jewel, then hop back," The figures in her hand mimed her plan. He clapped her hands together, "Be finished before you know it."

"It's never that simple and you know it." He paused and his eyes went wide, "Jewel? You mean-"

"The Jewel of Eternity, yes. I finally figured out how to open the door in the sacred chamber." She said, excitement dripped from her voice in a giddy tone.

"We could bypass all the sacred barriers." He said, he tapped the spikes on his chin. "That means it would just be the Final Test and with us at full strength."

She clapped her hands, "Exactly, we could take it on easily."

The Jewel of Eternity, it's power could rival the Tome of Legends and the Kings of Calamity would finally have a chance to defeat the Legion of the Brave. After all these years, things could be like they used to. He could go back. He could be a villain again. He could feel alive again. He looked up at the clock, 5 minutes left. Plenty of time.

"Let's do it." He said.

He dug into his pocket and pulled out his keys. Dangling on a sturdy carabineer hook was a red stone. He clutched it in his fist and the room filled with a bright red light. When it faded, he stood clad in his own regal regalia, crimson red with accents of gold. King Carnage had awakened.

"Perfect," She fit her helmet back on her head and picked up the phone, tapping in a series of numbers and symbols. As it rang, she beckoned him closer. He stepped right up to her side, leaning in to try and hear the sound of the ringing.

The receiver clicked, "Hello? Is that you, Elder Folley"

King Darkness raised her hand and summoned a mighty storm of dark magic and then slammed it into the phone. The crackles of the summoning gate scoured the ground around them. King Carnage pulled his tail close to make sure he fit within the circle. In a flash of lightning, they vanished.

The trip was fast and disorienting, but there they stood, in the heart of the Temple of Eternity, a stone's throw away from their prize. They were staring down at a quivering figure wrapped in novice robes. His yellow crystal communicator fell from his hands and clattered on the floor.

"Greetings, foolish boy," King Darkness said, her voice a roaring bellow, "Your knavery has delivered the Kings of Discord to their ultimate goal. You should be rewarded. King Carnage, if you please."

He stepped out from the summoning circle and spun around, the tip of his armored tail caught the novice under the chin and sent him spinning to the ground.

"Haha, magnificent. I see you have kept up your training." She said, giving a small applause.

"Yeah, the company has a free gym membership." He said, rolling his tail around to stretch it out.

"Great," She said, entirely uninterested, now on to our task." She turned with a flourish of her cape.

The Sacred Chamber was a grand affair of marble and sky blue crystals, grecco style, very Olympian to follow the pantheon theming of their order. At the center stood a massive pedestal. Upon the pedestal was a glorious deep blue jewel resting on a pillow.

"After all this time," She said, walking up to the jewel. He walked up the opposite side of the pedestal, looking at the jewel. "King Carnage, if you please."

He nodded and reached out to take the jewel. Then paused.

"Wait, what about the Final Trial?" He said.

"Oh, well," She said, her gruff voice staggering, "We probably bypassed it," she stroked the chin of her helmet, "Because we didn't activate the other trials first." She nodded to herself. "That's probably it."

His hand was poised over the jewel, something about this felt too easy.

"King Carnage," She said, "I know you want to enjoy the drama of this moment, but I am certain the Elders will catch on soon and make this a much more unpleasant experience." She motioned for him to hurry up.

"Right, sorry," He reached down and picked up the jewel. There was no alarm. No siren. No sudden blast of stone guardians that burst from the walls. Just the gentle hum that came from the magical crystals. He waited a beat before realizing he was holding his breath. He let it out and said, "Got it."

"Excellent, now give it here." She held out her hand.

He laughed, "If you wanted it so bad, why didn't you…" His voice trailed off, he glanced at the jewel in his hand, "Why didn't you take it?" There was a subtle heat on his voice as glaring eyes rose up to meet her.

"I figured you wanted the final glory, seeing as how you looked so miserable in that lame office job. Now that you've had your fun, hand it to me so I can get us out of here." She said, her voice was losing its roughness and becoming frantic. "You have a job to get back to, remember?"

He drew his hand closer to him, "No, you're lying. Why did you want me to take the jewel? Is this the Final Test?"

"Now is not the time for this, Cassidy." The way she said his name sounded like it was a foul word. "Give me the Jewel of Eternity," That wasn't the sound of a request.

He looked at the jewel in his hand. Then he felt an itch in his legs. He looked down to see they were being consumed by fast growing crystals.

"Dammit!" He shouted, "What the hell is happening?" He looked up to Katie, "What is going on?"

She reached over the pedestal, "Give me the jewel and I can reverse the trap! Quickly."

He reared back his hand out of her reach, "You knew! You knew this would happen."

"What are you talking about?" She said, "This is the first time we've made it this far."

"Yeah, the first time WE'VE made it this far," He emphasized the word, "But not the first time YOU have made it."

He kept his hand away from her while the crystal growth made it up to his hips. He turned and noticed the novice stirring from the ground. The figure turned to face them and he caught a glimpse under the hood of the robe. He made eye contact with the bug eyes for a moment before they quickly turned away to hide.

"Malk?" He said, begrudgingly, "You got him on this?"

"You were never a team player, Cassidy." She said, her tone was harsh and cold, "You were always so self-centered. The rogue element. The lone wolf. We lost so many battles because of your arrogance. King Disaster and King Zealot both left because of you. Now, do something useful for once and give me the jewel!"

Her words bit deep. He felt an ice-cold javalin pierce his heart. Figuratively, though the crystals had climbed up his torso all the same. His old friends and collagues. His old life. He had wanted to go back to that, to those days of living care-free. But he had been hurting them. He grit his teeth.

"You think I don't know that? That I chase everyone away? I'm a big scary monster, what do you want from me?" He was shouting, the crystals were at his throat. He felt them coil down his arms. He felt his memories flood around him. He thought of Katie and Cody and Kaz. He thought of them coming together again in victory. He felt a warm tear in his eye. He let out a hot sigh. She was right, maybe he could do something useful for once. With all he strength, he cracked the crystals around his arm and held out the jewel for King Darkness.

"Here, Katie. I hope this makes you happy."

She didn't hesitate to reach for the jewel. "Oh, it--" And she froze.

Everything froze and the room was coated in a soft blue light, like what you think of when you see pictures of things in the ocean.

"Cassidy Quake," A gentle voice rang in his mind and made him look up. Floating above the pedestal was a humanoid being shaped from what looked like glass. It had translucent hair that flowed as if submerged in water. It drifted down and stood on top of Katie's frozen, outstretched hand. "You have been chosen."

He looked up at the being of glass, awe struck and without words. He finally managed to choke out, "Chosen? For what?"

It stepped off Katie's hand and floated down next to him. It placed what could be described as a hand on his chest, the locking crystals melted away to form armor that shifted to match her own form, clear and crystalline with a humming feeling of power. "A guardian of the Jewel of Eternity."

He opened and closed his mouth a few times. "But," He said at last, "You have to be pure of heart to do that, right? Sorry but that ain't me."

It tilted its head to the side, much like a confused puppy, as if trying to find words for its reply. It finally spoke again, "Pure of heart doesn't mean you never made a mistake, it means you are willing to change. And you, Cassidy Quake," It said, patting his head, "Have that quality."

He felt a wave of emotion surge in him, something warm. He wasn't sure if these were the warm fuzzies that heroes talk about, but it was something nice, whatever it was.

"Do you accept your position?" It said to him.

He looked into where he approximated its eyes to be and said, "Full time work?"

Its expression remained unreadable, "It's more of an internship program. But it will provide valuable experience for your guardian resume and as soon as a position opens up with the Elders, you will be chosen for full-time."

He nodded along, "Yeah," He grunted and placed the jewel into the hand of the transparent being. "I already have a job, thanks."

The being let out a hissing sound similar to a mournful sigh. "Unfortunate, you would have been a great guardian."

It raised its hand and there came another flash of light. When the dazzle dissipated, he found himself in the break room again. Malk was huddled in the corner in the novice robes. King Darkness was standing across from him.

"--will." She said at last. There was a palpable moment where everyone readjusted to being ejected from the sacred chamber. King Darkness looked at King Carnage. They shared an intense and painful moment. He gave a brief huff through this nose and then glanced up at the clock on the wall. "Welp," He said, breaking the silence, "Time to get back to work." He held up his keychain and his armor warped back in the stone.

"That's it?" Katie said, stalking up to him, point a finger in his face, "You ruin our chance at reclaiming our glory and you just head back like it was nothing?"

"You know, you're right," He said, snarling, "I did forget something." He spun around, his tail smacking King Darkness upside the head hard enough to send her helmet across the room. He turned to Malk. "Looks like you get that time off you were looking forward to."

Malk made frantic but brief protests before Cassidy's tail found his face for the second time. Two friends, laid out cold on the break room floor. A job well done.

He adjusted his shirt, and headed back to his desk.

Cassidy Quake sat down in his specially designed chair, put on his specially designed headset, and pulled out his specially designed keyboard. He realized he still had his keys in his hands. He glanced at the stone on the carabineer, a beautiful clear crystal stone. He recalled the rush of donning his armor and plunging into the sacred chamber. He smiled to himself and pulled out his personal phone, typing in a number.

"Hello? Laura? Change of plans, when can we meet?"