In A Universe Where Damian Was Raised By Bruce Since Birth And Never Was Told His Siblings Were Adopted

SCREAMING

Vicki Vale: Mr. Wayne are you Batman?

Bruce Wayne: What is a “Bat man?”

—

Vicki Vale: Mr. Drake are you Red Robin?

Tim Drake: Like the restaurant?

—

Vicki Vale: So Cassandra, are you Orphan?

Cassandra Cain: No I’m not an orphan. I have a dad.

—

Vicki Vale: Mr. Thomas are you Signal?

Duke Thomas: Am I what?

Vicki Vale: Are you the Bat Signal?

Duke Thomas: That is the stupidest question I’ve ever been asked.

—

Vicki Vale: Damian, are you Robin?

Damian Wayne: Tt, I am not a bird. Are you well, Ms. Vale? I’m concerned for your mental state.

Roy, walking in with Lian and Jason close behind: “Sorry we’re late. We had to wait out a terrible tantrum.”

Dick: “That’s okay. ‘Terrible teens’, am I right?”

Jason: “Oh no… it was me. It was my tantrum… Anyways, I’m fine now.”

Lian: “You’re thinking of terrible twos, Uncle Dick.”

Roy: “You’re both wrong. This is terrible twenties.”

Things I’ve overheard as the Batfam

Bruce: $15 is not real money. Bitcoin is real money

Jason: You just gotta die with a little piss in your pants

Dick: My life is teetering on becoming a Dead Dove: Do Not Eat fanfiction

Stephanie: They’re all straight men I bet, and therefore inferior to me

Babs: I’m in a wheelchair you have to fight me

Tim: Fret not, I have my Disney Princess Gummy Vitamins I eat by the handful. Theyre the only thing keeping me kicking

Duke: Id rather break another bone than take a straight ball shot

Steph to Cass (or vice-versa): You know everything about me, including my social security number. Why don’t you know my boob size?

Damian talking about his animals: They’re such beautiful creatures until they throw up in your lap

The kids talking about Bruce: I wonder if he knew he’d spend his career babysitting a bunch of queer autistic kids

Bruce talking about the kids: They’re abominations of nature but they’re MY abominations of nature

Thoughts on the goat, Cassandra Cain?

She is a good egg!!!

Thinking of how the Kryptonian legend that the name Nightwing comes from is the story of a man who was cast away by his family and still dreamed of protecting the weak and justice, and after Clark explained how the man in the myth used his talent and skill to fight for the weak and became a legend, Dick’s first question was “did his family ever realize their mistake?”

I need Tim, Damian, and Jason to wear matching 'Ra's Al Ghul traumatized me and all I got was this lousy t-shirt' shirts

the prettiest<3

Jorge Jimenez C2E2 2024 Commission!