Brock08 - Untitled

have you ever craved someone? not in a sexual way, but you just wanted to hear the sound of their voice or feel the warmth of their body

I’ve now been single for 10 months, sober from alcohol (besides one night) for over a month, and back in the kitchen for over 2 months. There have been lots of ups and downs, a few really bad downs, and a few pretty good things happen. There’s still a few hurdles to get over but I’ve survived everything thus far, so I’m sure I’ll be just fine. I’m glad I’ve made it through and used it to rebuild myself and come out a stronger, more focused person who is more true to myself than ever. There’s always more work to be done, but like I said, I’ve survived everything else.

Well, the Xterra is finally running again, just some little things to fix. I found a place to move into so I’m no longer homeless, even got offered another place to stay on the same day. Picked up a second job doing farm work and construction. Things are going really well today, and some of my stress is finally starting to go away. Now just to figure out everything with the court and get that taken care of and life will be somewhat back to normal.

"Come with me.. take my hand and follow me into the sea, this sea of stars that spans eternity. Come with me, hold my hand as we walk from constellation to constellation as if we were walking through a park.. let's see what magic we can find in a meadow of stars, a wild garden of sorts. Let us ride the waves of a supernova to the edges of light.."

What magic we would find in the stars together - eUë

Life has been interesting to say the least. I’m finally looking forward to wrapping up my legal issues even though it’s on the same day I turn 34. Guess it’ll be my present to myself, and proof that I’m growing. This past year or so has taught me a lot about myself and a lot of the things I thought I knew. It’s an understatement to say that it’s been rough, but, sometimes pain is the best teacher. I have survived, I will preserve, I won’t give up, and I will continue to improve. This chapter might have been a bit dark, but the next one might be the best yet.

via weheartit

I swear I’m done after this, inbox is always open though.

I will always happily be there for anyone who is struggling, or just feels like they’re at their breaking point. Don’t ever feel like you have to suffer silently or have to go through that pain on your own. I can’t promise to have all or any of the answers, but I will always try to understand. That goes for absolutely anyone.

God I hate myself for not having an outlet or friends that care because I fucked shit up. So I go to the bar because I don’t want to be surrounded by fighting between my housemate and her bf, and I don’t want to go back to drugs. It’s sucks to be off drugs, and trying your hardest to actually grow the fuck up and take care of shit for once only to be seen as what you’ve been in the past. Recovery is one of the hardest fucking things I’ve done, but it’s the best decision I have ever made, and I’m proud of myself for how far I’ve come.

I believed you when you said this was temporary 😔