246 posts
Latest Posts by briashard - Page 7
Hi Mr. Gaiman! I'm a big fan of your work, and recently I've been thinking about making my own comics. I made a tester page last night and frankly it looks terrible. Do you have any advice for beginner comic artists?
The same I have for someone the first time they sit down at the piano, or write their first book, or attempt surgery, or try to cook for the first time, or walk a tightrope...
Keep doing it. That's how you'll get better. One day you'll be good, but you have to make a lot of mistakes first.
DO YOU NEED HELP?! THIS IS YOUR PUSH TO GO GET THAT HELP!!!
IT'S NOT A FAILURE TO NEED HELP!!! ACTUALLY - ASKING FOR HELP IS ONE OF THE BRAVEST, MOST BADASS THINGS YOU CAN DO!!! SO, IF YOU NEED HELP, IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING WITH SOMETHING - THIS IS YOUR SIGN!!! ASK SOMEONE!!! GOOGLE!!! LET'S GET YOU THAT HELP!!!
this actually is rewiring my brain as we speak
practice forgiving yourself as often as possible. it does wonders once you really learn to move past things you dislike about your past actions that cannot be redone.
Reblog to put one of these in your mutuals’ pocket when they’re not looking
No, you're not wrong.
You're not wrong for wanting a better life for yourself.
You're not wrong for believing that you are deserving of better.
You're not wrong for making those necessary changes in your life.
You're not wrong for changing the way you show up to life.
You're not wrong for distancing yourself from those things that harm you.
You're not wrong.
you can have a fresh start anytime. you can start again every day. every hour if you need! you’re allowed to put the past behind you.
Reddit wins this one
[Image ID: post from Reddit thread r/thelastofus titled "When is a gay relationship on screen not "political propoganda?""
Post reads: "It's the same criticism I see levied at the last episode over and over again. "I'm fine with gay people, but keep politics out of my entertainment."
I'm genuinely curious. How in the holy hell is a gay relationship pictured on screen inherently "political?"
It's maddening man. I'd prefer they just come out and say what they're actually thinking."
User catnap_kismet replies: "there are two sexualities, straight and political. there are two genders, male and political. there are two races, white and political. etc".
This reply has many awards and 1.2k upvotes
End ID]
what are some small things that make you less stressed?
there are days where things dont go like you wanted them to go. the weather is gray and the wind is cold. you miss your bus. you miss a deadline. someone rejects you. you’re late for an appointment. but it’s okay. opportunities will present themselves again. there’s always the next bus. there will always be someone who wants to hug you. the weather will get warmer. i will feel the sun on my face again soon. i know it will be okay. we’re going to be okay.
Sings I’m struggling:
My body feels heavy & tired
I find it hard to respond to messages
I feel like nothing I do is good enough
I can't motivate myself
I can't stop myself scrolling through social media
I have panic attacks
I spend more time by myself
Little things get to me
I find it hard to get up & ready in the mornings
My usual coping mechanisms don't help very much
I can't focus or still my thoughts
Things become disorganised & untidy
I doubt myself
Source
Mental Health
Y'all have got to get better at handling uncertainty. Sometimes two people will have a falling out and you legitimately won't be able to tell which one was the abuser and which one was the victim. Sometimes you'll encounter a stranger online who might be a channer troll trying to stir shit up or might be a deeply traumatized person trying their hardest to speak their truth. That person with the gendery vibes might be a trans egg or they might be a cis person who just does whatever the hell they want. You have got to learn to act appropriately when you can't know everything.
I’ve been thinking about 1x03 of The Last of Us and I think why it kicked so many of us right in the heart so hard is because, fundamentally, it said “hey, you’re not going to change this incredibly traumatic forever-altered world you’re in. You - as one person- cannot do that. It is the single most important thing to live and love and build things anyway, you cannot put those things off until the world goes back to normal because it won’t, ever, but there’s room for strawberries here, in this version of this world.”
I think that’s why this particular story doesn’t feel exhausting or entrapping in the way most apocalypse media does in a world that still very much dealing with March of 2020.
it's been said before and i'm sure said better than i can phrase it. but really, really - if you like making "i'm going to kill myself" jokes, please try switching to being ironically conceited instead.
anytime something goes wrong, say things like "ah well at least i'm beautiful and charming and everyone loves me." when you forget something, try "my big huge brain is so smart and thinking about too many other very big wizardly thoughts you wouldn't even understand." when you're frustrated by one of your symptoms, start talking like you're in My Immortal. "Life has come for me but my eyes are beautiful pools of gorgeous fire and my hair is amazing. I stuck my middle finger up at life and told it to fuck off and it did."
just... try it for a month or two. try saying the most absurdly self-congratulatory shit you can think of.
i know it's tempting to make suicide or self-harm jokes. and for me at least, a decade ago (!) when someone suggested i stop making those kinds of jokes, i was kind of at a loss for what to replace them with. i wanted to make light of these moments, but genuinely (at the time) my first thought really was suicidal ideation. there was a part of me that even felt like ... i was kind of "making light" of that voice. that if i could say i want to die lol, it would help take the sting out of that genuine (albeit passive) desire. like i could turn my illness into a joke.
when i started complimenting myself instead, it felt awkward and stupid. it felt really, really ironic. what i was actually saying was nobody would ever think this stuff about me, that's what makes it so fucking funny.
but. the effect was immediate. first thing i noticed was the people around me. when i dropped a glass and said ah my skin is too beautiful and sleek the glass has swooned and broken for me, other people were suddenly overjoyed to jump in with the joke. rather than making an awkward moment, we'd both start cracking up. ah princess sleek hands, i've heard of you.
i was 19. i hadn't noticed i'd been making others tense when i said i want it all to end. i know now that it's incredibly hard to know how to walk that moment - do you talk to them about your concern? do you potentially make them uncomfortable by asking if they're okay? do you ignore the situation? do you help them pick up the glass, or do they need to do it by themselves? are they genuinely made suicidal over this small moment? and most importantly, how do you - without professional training or supplies - actually help?
most people want to help you pick up the glass in your life, they just have no fucking idea how to do it. they don't want to make anything worse. they don't want to make assumptions about you. they love you, they're scared for you - and being scared makes people kind of freeze up. it's not because they don't love you. it's because they do.
now when something bad happens, my first thought is how can i make a stupid joke about this. it isn't my brain saying you're a dumb fucking bitch. i spend more time laughing. i spend more time being gentle with myself. i spend more time feeling good.
and the thing is - what's kind of funny - is that you'd be surprised by how many people agree with you. the first time i said i'm too pretty to understand that, someone else said to be fair you're the prettiest person in this room. i promise - you really don't know how kindly your friends see you. but they love you for a reason. they sort of reverse-velveteen-rabbit you. your weird and ugly spots fade away and you just become... the love they want to give you.
go love yourself ironically. the worst thing that happens is that you end up tricking your reflection into actually loving you.
Do you feel, like, constantly overwhelmed? Unable to focus on tasks and self-care like showering? Have I got the tip for you
I recently got put on this method through a YouTube video recommended to me called the Sharp Ax method. Name doesn't matter, I'm gonna skip right to telling you what to do.
You have a notebook? Maybe one that you've horded and used once or twice before abandoning? Grab that shit. Get your favorite pen. At the top of the page you're going to write "Brain Dump". For like, 10-15 minutes, just sit there and write down every thought that comes to mind. Does your back hurt? Write it. Do you have to make breakfast? Write it.
But here's the thing: if there's something you need to do (paperwork, showering, shopping, etc) you're gonna write it like this.
"I want to shower." "I want to check the mailbox." "I want to do my laundry today."
For whatever reason, reframing things you need to do as things you want to do has helped me so immensely, and even when I can't finish all the things I want to finish, I still feel good for finishing the ones I was able to.
This stupidly simple journaling technique (which doesn't even feel like journalling to me) has caused me to go from being chronically overwhelmed to feeling like, even just for a little bit, everything is going to be okay.
*through gritted teeth* you are not a child taking a test with the purpose of getting the highest score, you are an adult trying new things and finding ways to enjoy your life, make mistakes, be a beginner, be mediocre, be where you need to be, be unlikeable, just. be.
i hope you buy things that bring you joy. i hope you wear clothes that make you feel good. i hope you decorate your home however you like. i hope you don’t wake up dreading going to work. i hope you meet people that make your heart sing. i hope you discover hobbies that fulfill you. i hope you go on fantastic adventures that give you unforgettable memories. i hope you do things just because you want to, and i hope you don’t feel like you have to justify your decisions to anybody. i hope you find happiness. i hope you cultivate a life you love.
I think it needs to become common knowledge that "inability to read social cues" can show up as overcompensating.
You don't know how much misbehaviour is allowed, so you become the perfect child who never tests rules.
You don't know if someone is irritated with you, so you'll be extra generous and self-effacing.
You don't know how much is expected of you at work so you'll kill yourself in a minimum-wage job and not notice that nobody else is working like this.
"Hardworking and quiet" should be as much of an autism red flag as "ignores rules and doesn't know when to stop talking". Or why don't we just start using words to communicate so i can stop tracking everybody's eyebrow twitches, that would be great.
that task you’ve been putting off? that chore you’ve been procrastinating? whatever responsibility it is that you’ve been ignoring, try this: set a timer and dedicate 15 minutes to doing it, and when the timer stops, so do you. you may not complete it in that time frame, and that’s totally okay, because now you’ve made some progress. and guess what? a small victory is still a win
The "Might as Well" principle for people with ADHD means leaning into your urge to take care of needs immediately when you notice them, and take that task-hopping tendency as an opportunity to "clean as you go".
You were probably raised to think there's only 1 "right" way to be productive. This is false. You don't need to (and honestly you CAN'T) become neurotypical, but you've probably spent a lot of your life striving to achieve success in a neurotypical way. This can be detrimental to your mental health. You have to learn what works best for YOU.
You don't need to feel guilty for not keeping a strict routine and an aesthetically pleasing home. Your goal should be keeping your environment (minimally) livable and safe.
This principle is intended to help with chore struggles, but it can also apply to personal care, and other areas of the ADHD struggle.
Going to the kitchen? Might as well bring as many dishes/cups as you can carry.
Going to the bathroom? Might as well wipe down the counter while you're in there (or for me personally, scoop the litter box while I'm there).
Taking a shower? Might as well scrub the shower walls while you're there (Be safe! I keep a utility sponge nearby for spot cleaning, but I don't use chemicals during my showers).
Forgot to brush your teeth in the morning? Might as well brush after lunch. No need to wait until the next "designated" teeth brushing time at bedtime (minimally, keep some floss picks, tooth wipes, or mouth wash at work/school).
Stuck in decision paralysis in front of the fridge? Might as well hydrate. Drink water!
Mount doom (laundry pile) giving you anxiety? Might as well pick one category, such as shirts, and sort them out. You don't even have to put them all the way away, just separate them so your doom pile looks smaller and less daunting.
Please feel free to add more!!
a very good lesson my therapist helped me with was changing “should” to “want to”
example:
“I should shower.” -> moral, weighty, often an addition to the chorus of shit you are already struggling with. a dead end! guilt and shame are not sustainable motivators.
“I want to shower.” -> acknowledgement of a need and desire, now we can move forward!
often, when we’re stuck, it’s unlikely that we are choosing it. even if you have the “i could do this if i just got off my ass” running through your head, that doesn’t mean it’s correct. something is stopping you. something is preventing you. moving forward looks like figuring out what that blockage is.
there are infinite reasons we get stuck or don’t do something. often, these reasons have little places we can push back on.
with our example, here are some reasons that have interfered with my hygiene, and what i tell/ask myself when they come up. my therapist recommended getting curious with the feeling, not judgmental. genuinely, gently: why is this thing stopping you?
i don’t like my skin being damp, it’s really uncomfortable -> the discomfort will suck, and i’ll feel better once i’m dry. is the post-shower dampness more uncomfortable than feeling icky right now?
i can’t stand up that long and making it to the shower is too fucking hard -> i can sit on the side of the tub / i don’t have to shower right now, i can rest for a bit and see where i’m at after
i haven’t done that much, so i’m not that dirty -> i still don’t feel very good, maybe a shower would help reset. even if i don’t feel better, at least i don’t have to add sensory ick to the bad feeling.
i forgot and now it’s time for bed and i can’t sleep with wet hair -> i can shower in the morning! / i can do a body wash and take care of my hair in the morning
and listen, sometimes the reason for not doing something you want to do is very fucking compelling. sometimes you just can’t fucking shower. and you learn to stock hygiene wipes on the grocery list and keep a stack of clean washcloths by the sink, and you buy a shower chair for the days you need to sit down.
and if you get to a place where you want something and won’t give it to yourself (not can’t!), you need to ask why you’re depriving yourself of something you want.
i find that is often more helpful than railing against yourself for something you should be doing.
hope is a skill
Encouragment for writers that I know seems discouraging at first but I promise it’s motivational-
• Those emotional scenes you’ve planned will never be as good on page as they are in your head. To YOU. Your audience, however, is eating it up. Just because you can’t articulate the emotion of a scene to your satisfaction doesn’t mean it’s not impacting the reader.
• Sometimes a sentence, a paragraph, or even a whole scene will not be salvagable. Either it wasn’t necessary to the story to begin with, or you can put it to the side and re-write it later, but for now it’s gotta go. It doesn’t make you a bad writer to have to trim, it makes you a good writer to know to trim.
• There are several stories just like yours. And that’s okay, there’s no story in existence of completely original concepts. What makes your story “original” is that it’s yours. No one else can write your story the way you can.
• You have writing weaknesses. Everyone does. But don’t accept your writing weaknesses as unchanging facts about yourself. Don’t be content with being crap at description, dialogue, world building, etc. Writers that are comfortable being crap at things won’t improve, and that’s not you. It’s going to burn, but work that muscle. I promise you’ll like the outcome.
Neurotypical writers giving advice: Be realistic with your goals. Try to outline or write a little every day. Refill the well. Get yourself a cup of tea and write for 30 minutes until the tea is empty. Check in daily with your accountability buddies for the next three to six months.
ADHD writers giving advice: Put on a movie that matches the tone of your novel to kickstart your dopamine and get into hyperfocus, then put a song on loop on noise-cancelling headphones, livestream your writing session so you feel watched and owe someone accountability, and write as much as you can for as long as you can. Don't forget to eat, sleep or drink. Now go write that novel in 5 days.
First of all, how dare you
There’s a protest going on against AI art over on artstation, so I feel like now is the time for me to make a statement on this issue!
I wholeheartedly support the ongoing protest against AI art. Why? Because my artwork is included in the datasets used to train these image generators without my consent. I get zero compensation for the use of my art, even though these image generators cost money to use, and are a commercial product.
Musicians are not being treated the same way. Stability has a music generator that only uses royalty free music in their dataset. Their words: “Because diffusion models are prone to memorization and overfitting, releasing a model trained on copyrighted data could potentially result in legal issues.” Why is the work of visual artists being treated differently?
Many have compared image generators to human artists seeking out inspiration. Those two are not the same. My art is literally being fed into these generators through the datasets, and spat back out of a program that has no inherent sense of what is respectful to artists. As long as my art is literally integrated into the system used to create the images, it is commercial use of my art without my consent.
Until there is an ethically sourced database that compensates artists for the use of their images, I am against AI art. I also think platforms should do everything they can to prevent scraping of their content for these databases.
Artists, speak out against this predatory practice! Our art should not be exploited without our consent, and we deserve to be compensated when our art is exploited for commercial use.
it's okay if you're tired when you thought you'd be productive. none of us know how we're going to feel. even if you think positively, you may still be tired. sometimes, the only thing that can make you feel better is taking a break. please don't be so hard on yourself.
Writing Tip #21
Every character is the main character of their own story. Write a scene from their perspective to flesh them out if needed.
{I’m posting a writing tip every day of NaNoWriMo}