#OVULATING

ugh its so loud in here, im gonna go outside for a smoke if you want to join? (with the intention of shot-gunning smoke into your mouth then making out against a tree)

400g of sliced pineapple and my beautiful girl you will be as good as new

straight-laced big brother who i can peer pressure into smoking with me...

me and this one professor i keep fantasizing about bending me over his desk to rail me during office hours

i would be getting a lot more done if i wasn’t so horny all the time

“i’m older than your father” is so good in theory but unfortunately my father is old as fuck

eat me out then spit in my mouth pls n thank u

requirements for dating me:

- must not be like my dad

- must be willing to pretend to be my dad