Boymoder-echo - Not A Person

Oh? You’re worried about me? Didn’t you read the label on the tin?

Abnormal

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This goes so much deeper than detrans kink. This goes so so so much deeper.

Identity is like a mask to be worn. I’m someone without a face. I need those masks or I am no one and nothing. I am not a person, I am just the mist, the entity between lives.

You don’t know who I am, because I don’t exist, and I never have.

This mask hurts me. That is the whole point. This mask hurts me because the pain feels good. You’re judging me for that??? Masks have a purpose. I just want to feel better okay???

Someday I’ll leave behind a lifelong schizo ARG and only in the 22nd century will people understand the art in my madness.

Please just stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop st

changed my username from cis-man-echo to boymoder-echo to better reflect my status as a cute boy that shouldn’t even bother trying to be a girl.

True to the promise of my notes game I just bought TEN pairs of boxers and I will be throwing out my useless panties. It's ridiculous I was wearing panties in the first place, obviously they didn't fit. One of the things on the list is that every 50 notes I will pick up a new masculine interest. I am autistic so I'm someone who has a lot of intense, specific hobbies and interests. Some of them are already somewhat masculine, but I engage in them in somewhat feminine ways. For example I follow sports pretty closely and I like watching videos about history. Each time I hit 50 notes I will elevate one of those more male interests and I will try to engage with it in a more man-brained way. Maybe eventually I will pick up entirely new interests too, but they have to be something that I would even find interesting in the first place.

Also at this point I will not be able to shave for most of April (and counting) I intend to start the count of days I can't shave on April 1, just because it'll be easier to keep track of if it starts on the first of a month. I actually at this point have not shaved in 4 or 5 days so I'm undecided if I will shave on March 31 to reset it or not. I am somewhat leaning towards doing that but we'll see.

One last thing, I have edited the list a bit since I initially posted it. I will never change goals that have already been reached and I'll try not to move around goals I already listed unless I feel like they're in an order that is unnatural or doesn't make sense. For the most part I will only be adding new things to the list.

I intend to adhere to the list entirely and I will be posting proof that I followed through. Be sure to hold me accountable. Another thing, if I reach the point where I'm allowed to shave again, the notes game ends.

MTF here.

I can't stop jerking off to thoughts of throwing out my HRT, letting my body hair and beard grow, shaving my head, and growing a belly. When I think about what I want to look like I only imagine a big fat hairy bear. I don't know why I'm so horny over this and it's so confusing.

What should I do?

Give in 🖤 Your body already knows what it wants. Real girls don't think about this sort of thing, let alone stroke their manly cocks to it. Get off estrogen. Let yourself grow and swell out, let your shoulders irreparably broaden and your voice get gruffer, let yourself go bald and get even taller. Be a good boy and be what you were meant to be~

I don’t really know how realistic it is for me to not shave for months, or maybe even forever… I need someone to hold me accountable I guess. I’ve been getting a lot of doubts about detrans lately and that’s unacceptable. That’s why it needs to be forced on me to some extent. I might never stick to it on my own.

ANYONE WHO CALLS ME MALE TODAY, OR EVEN AMAB, I WILL REMOVE YOUR SKIN ONE SQUARE CENTIMETER AT A TIME.

I AM NOT LIKE YOU.

I AM BETTER.

I AM A REAL GIRL.

I AM A GOD.

What makes you feel like a girl? Asking so you know what to get rid of.

Oh that’s an interesting question with a complicated answer and I’m not quite sure I’m in the headspace to answer it thoroughly.

To be perfectly honest I’m intersex, my genitals are mostly the same for a male so it wasn’t super explicitly obvious at first, but a lot of other things were not normal for me, so my experience with biological sex when I started puberty was not typical for a male, and I grew breasts and didn’t have much testosterone. I identified more strongly with being a girl in middle school because I felt like I related to the girls in my class more than the boys and even my experiences with my body developing made me feel like I wasn’t anything like “normal” boys. I don’t know if I mentioned this here but I actually initially transitioned in middle school and don’t even really have much experience with being male besides a window of a few years as a teenager when i gave it a shot.

My voice sounds like a cis woman’s voice, and to even sound male at all it hurts a bit after a while and doesn’t even necessarily sound convincing, my mannerisms and behaviors are typically feminine, I just generally don’t come across as male in any way.

Lately I’ve had short hair, I’ve been wearing hoodies and jeans, sometimes I don’t shave for a week.

It’s still “here’s your food honey!” “we’ll be right with you miss” “have a nice day ma’am” and men asking if I have a boyfriend, guys talking down to me and over-explaining things… It has always been this way for me. I have much more experience living the typical life of a girl and then as a woman. Even when I tried to be a guy from around age 16 to 19 it was extremely fake and I wasn’t very good at it and people still assumed I was a girl sometimes. I’d get the occasional “oh I thought you were just a tomboy” from kids I didn’t know that well in high school.

So, everything about me is female. I’m basically a cis girl with male genitals. I never had any shot of being a man. I think that’s why detrans kink is so hot to me? but it’s also why it’s so impractical.

I’m like actively trying to be a guy lately and failing, so idk what to do. I’m probably just an intersex girl.

Howdy. I'm a 26-year-old degenerate fakegirl who ought to be corrected. That is to say, deluding myself that I'll ever be a woman is a tragic farce. Real women don't crank their dicks to fakegirls throwing out their estrogen. Real women don't constantly sit around in a horny daze, dreaming of being victimized, dreaming of being pumped back full of T and having their fake girlpills thrown out. I'm shameless. Seriously. Bully me, ask me for dick pics, whatever. I'll hand 'em out readily. Remind me of how I'll never, ever be any type of woman at all.

hi baby, i'd love to go into your dms and send you some pretty pics to look at... but only if you admit that you're a perverted man (fixed fake boy)

Do you mean I’m a fixed fake girl? I promise I am just a gross perverted man now.

for me a detrans kink isn’t about taking away his identity, it’s about letting him play with every messy piece of it. When he’s begging me to degrade him, he’s really begging me to accept every part of him, even the parts he’s terrified of.

He’s always been so guarded about gender, but in these moments, he’s wide open. When he’s desperate, humiliated, pleading to be my girl again, it’s not weakness, it’s bravery. Watching him break his own rules for pleasure makes me want to ruin him and protect him all at once.