My Hurricane

Poetry

I've learned to love darkness as if it is light

Learned not to chase what eluded my sight

So before you try and make me feel okay

Be reminded that I prefer the stillness of night than the buzzing of day

I've learned to enjoy the battles, the wounds, the scars

The monster, the demons, the way they are

We clash, we fight for this body, this mind

But their company, I can never leave behind.

My cousin made me bookmarks with quotes from my favorite characters and people. 📖🔖📚💙

Hoping

I wonder if I flit through your mind

If there are times you still try to find

Me, in those songs, those places

If in your life, I left some spaces

For you part me with a void, an aching in my soul

The face I look for in the crowd, the name I try to howl

Or maybe you don't even remember

The girl you've given a hasty farewell that chilly December.

Guest

I've swallowed my pride and spat my feelings out

Told you things no one cares to know about

You knocked down my walls and I stripped my armor

Opened the windows, welcomed you to my doors

We were happy, explored the rooms together

Built new ones, through the gardens we wander

Yet as I offer you a permanent place, you refuse

You're my story but I'm not your muse

Told me you were only having fun and passing through

A temporary shelter, until you find someplace better suited for you.

sorry

My words might be beautiful, but they are empty

Devoid of soul, devoid of feelings, a low hanging fantasy

I use it as traps, trying to catch strangers' hearts

Trying to cram those pieces into my chest, hoping mine would start

My hands are so red, I have crossed too many lines

Does my guilt absolves me? Do I still have the right to call this pain mine?

As my self-made ghosts roam around this false cemetery,

As my body sinks with the weight of the burden I chose to carry,

Can I still forgive myself before this imaginary coffin turns real?

For all the wounds I've inflicted, for all the wounds I never learned to heal.

Sisters

I smile as I lift my phone up high

It was one of those nights that don't make me wish to die

There was singing and teary eyes

As the laughter echoes, and we're free of lies

And for the first time since I can remember

I slept with thoughts of getting better

For them with my side

I can do anything, I can try.