Im Cooked

bro im partially going insane in real time. im about to become one of those stupidass alpha males that get overly protective of their lovers and shit (except i dont have a lover but thats besides the point)

like highkey i am in desperate need to be possessive over somebody. i wanna latch onto someone like a damn leech and never let them go. i want to make sure that a person never needs anything else except for me. just me, me, me, me, me. pay attention to me

idk where these feelings really came from, but i guess after being abandoned (again) in my last relationship, a switch kinda went off in my brain and now i want to ensure im never left alone ever again

now i just want to make sure that a person doesnt love anyone else romantically except for me

i want to make sure my partner loves me and is as head over heels for me as i am for them

i want them to love me just as much as the day they fell for me

i want their love for me to be just as intense

like bro im already picturing myself physically grabbing my lover and holding them close to me so they cant get up to leave

i mean obviously he would have to get up eventually but bruh for the time being i need you With Me and i never want you going Anywhere Else except for right here . with me

me me me me me

me

these feelings are so intense im tearing up

even though im not upset or sad

fuck this is weird

not yearning as much today

im fine with this

yearning again but i already know id get hurt if someone tried to love me

that sounds so edgy but ☠️ its the truth

its like romantic relationships for me are like abuse simulators

lord have mercy

despite everything ive endured i still crave that feeling of being loved with no strings attached

can someone put me down ☠️

must be so damn nice to be loved and accepted by somebody despite your flaws bro

what does that feel like

(abandonment issues kicking in full swing)

posting under these tags is my equivalent of putting myself out there

date me immediately

pathetic loser yearning again

what else is new

im cooked

i wanna be held like youre afraid to lose me

why must i always be afraid the other person leaving me and abandoning me

i wanna be feared of being lost too.........

golly somebody put me down now 😭

it would be nice to be adoringly looking at my phone because someone said the sweetest words to me

id ask him why hes so nice to me

and it'd be someone i know for a while too. someone that really means it

not just some stranger trying to fill a void and could easily replace me with someone else

how nice itd be to be loved for who you are

to not be abandoned

to actually be cared about

to be cherished despite your flaws

i need that so bad bruh

[deep inhale]

i need to heal before i can love anybody again

[deep exhale]

(not gonna stop me from yearning though ☠️)