If Anything Ever Happened To Him I’d Kill Everyone In The Room And Then Myself

if anything ever happened to him i’d kill everyone in the room and then myself

songs in the bg:

Keep reading

TMNT Turtles adopting you

FLUFF MRMRMRM

you’re like 4-6 years old in each of these headcanons

i love them being father/brother figures 🥺🥺

+splinter being a gramp

i put too much effort into this shit

Leo

you were being cornered by two random dudes

child vs. two bozos in an alleyway? didn’t sound like a fair fight

how did you even get in the alleyway?

ngl he was pretty hesitant to save you bc he was worried that you would tell your parents

but then he realized that you were a literal child, so then he was fine with it

mf drops down from the top of a random building and starts threatening them

meanwhile,,was that superman?

holy shit you were being saved by superman

he looked a little different compared to that tv show you saw but it was aight :]

you didn’t even notice the two guys running away after a while because you were just staring at leo

“you okay, tiny?”

“...are you superman?”

who?? was he meant to say yes??

“um...yeah!”

mmm wrong answer

by the time he got back to the lair, you were latched onto his leg yelling “weeeee”

if he would be asked about what he was to you, he would explain that he was a foster parent until your actual parents started caring about you

the truth was that he was way too attached to ever let you go

especially after how you guys first encountered, you really think he’d give you up? hell no

you’ll try to grab his katana’s at some points

to which he has to take them away from you which evolves into you holding a grudge against him

to rebel against that, you’ll sneak away with his bandana when he isn’t looking

perfect plan

but you end up getting way too into wearing his bandana

you’ll pretend to be him and run around the lair showing his brothers until you catch leo’s attention

“grrrr... look daddy, i’m just like you!!”

his heart mELTS

YOU CALLED HIM DAD

YOU IDOLIZED HIM

OH GOD HE’S GONNA SOB

he has to take a step away from you for a bit and scream into a pillow

he’ll pick you up and spin you around 😭 legit he almost starts crying

“are you gonna save the day just like daddy some day?”

“yeah!!” 🥺🥺

he loves you so much but he’s so protective

he’ll freak tf out if he can’t find you anywhere

if it turns out that you were hanging out with your uncles and they didn’t tell leo, he’ll be mad at his brothers

“dad, can i go play with uncle raph/donnie/mikey?”

“no, daddy’s mad at them right now >:(“ he gets really petty

you think it’s really funny so even when he isn’t actually mad at his brother’s, he pretends to be a petty hoe

anything to hear that little laugh 💙

at some point he’ll try to fit you in his pocket

to which he’ll be disappointed that it doesn’t work

tiny pockets :(

his nickname for you is tiny

he likes to carry you around in the palm of his hand too

you’re just really tiny

and you’ll hear that a lot when you’re growing up

Raph

he was blowing off a steam when you found him, actually

he got into a fight with leo again

he starts beating tf out of those big shipping containers

the ones you’d see on container ships? yeah, one of those

midway through his temper tantrum,, *pitter patter*

he draws his sais way, ready for an ass-beating

he hadn’t had much action in a while anyways

and out comes peaking from behind a wall, a tiny infant

not a literal baby, but you come out of hiding and,, you’re a literal infant compared to his 6’0+ stature

he’s never fought a child before

he lowkey doesn’t know how to interact with you at first

he’s never seen a child in his life and that’s true besides his brothers

was he meant to threaten you first?? was that plan a??

he has the audacity to start threatening you in your face

he clearly doesn’t know the power you hold in your tiny hands compared to his puny objects

he’s so bad at threatening you that you don’t even understand a word he’s saying >:)

*bonk*

“did you..did you just hit me?”

you give off that innocent giggle that makes him melt into putty

oh he’s keeping you

“you got any parents, kid?”

“no”

“well good, because you’re mine now”

pulls up at the lair with you on his shoulders

badass father >:)

unlike leo, raph brags about being a father figure

he acts like a dick and shows off his fatherly title but he’s actually so fucking excited he feels so fuzzy and giddy

your laugh is so contagious to him, he literally has a laughing fit whenever you giggle n shit

he tries to get donnie to make you a custom bandana of your favorite color

donnie wants the “favorite uncle” title so he absolutely goes with it

when you finally get your bandana made, raph picks you up just like leo does and hypes you up

your own hype man

“are you gonna beat up bad guys just like daddy?”

“yeahhh!”

if raph has a pull-up bar, he loves putting you on his shoulders while he’s working out

speaking of workout shenanigans,,

since raph has that workout bench and weights, he once for the hell of it pretended that he was suffocating underneath the weight just to see your reaction

you ended up crying the first time he did it bc you thought he was gonna die :(

“daddy’s okay, it’s okay champ”

that was the first and final time he did that in front of you

never again

speaking of nicknames, he calls you champ

whenever you’re tired, he’ll quit whatever he’s doing and will come to nap with you

training? woops, gotta go 🏃‍♀️

eating? damn, save my food yall 🏃‍♀️

he churrs a lot to help you sleep too

he loves his little champ sm

Donnie

the one time he wasn’t cooped up in his room

the one time

literally just chilling on the roof of a random building when he dropped his bō staff on accident

couldn’t be worse :)

oh shit, a random kid’s coming around the corner :)

*abnormally large reptile drops from the roof*

“is this a stick?”

“s- stick?”

where are your parents- yeah you get the gist, he looks and sees nobody around the corner

oh well, kidnapping :))

he takes you back to the lair and has to explicitly explain why he kidnapped a child and why it was alright

doctor donnie in the sewer!

he does a full checkup on you to make sure you’re alright since you didn’t have any adult supervision

you end up getting really overwhelmed after a while which passes over to donnie

“hey hey hey! it’s ok, it’s ok-! here, do you wanna hold the stick?” this is an insult to his staff but he’d do anything to calm you down

and?? it works??

“stick :)” and you’re entertained for the next 30 minutes

and our favorite nerd adopts you on the spot

when he’s doing something on his computers, he’ll hold you in his lap while you get to watch him do whatever he’s doing

you get amazed at all the stuff that your dad looks up :’)

donnie loves the fact that you’re so curious even though it’s by nature

yknow those baby carriers that people strap their babies to their chests with??

this bitch

HE ENDS UP MAKING ONE SPECIFICALLY FOR YOU

“dad! i’m too old for that! >:(“

“please (y/n), just this once? for dad?”

it was actually a lot more fun than you thought

his brother’s jab at him for it but they all want a turn carrying you around sooner or later

this petty fuck says “no :)”

WITH A SMILE TOO

there have been many occasions where you steal his glasses

you end up copying his famous laugh and snort at some point (source)

you did end up breaking his bō staff at some point

donnie wasn’t really mad but you started to cry bc you were really guilty

you grabbed some duct tape from his desk and grabbed the broken staff

you tried to tape it back together as best as you could,,

when you went to bed, he stayed up repairing his staff

despite it being fully put back together, he still put duct tape where you did originally

so that it seemed like you helped :)

he calls you his little genius

why? because his biggest brag is you knowing random facts because you watched him researching

aw little genius in training, taking after your father 💜

even though he doesn’t cuss much,, the one time he did, you mimicked him

“raph, stop being an asshole”

“asshole?”

“NO”

he was very paranoid after that experience

Mikey

can a mutant dumbass take care of an infant dumbass? surprisingly, yes

he uhhh,,, he left the manhole cover off the hole returning to the lair

you crawled into the sewers and chased him down

why? ionknow big turtle man is cool :)

so when everyone sees a tiny child sliding down their slide, everyone immediately interrogates mikey

“did you leave the manhole uncovered, michelangelo?”

“hahaaa...woops :’))”

you recognize him as soon as you spot him, and you waddle towards him

which gives splinter an opportunity to question you, too

“where are your parents?”

“umm...him :)” *points at mikey*

“CAN WE KEEP IT?!”

insert a series of questions to mikey that just equal= “did it have any parents?”

all in all, he got to keep you

technical custody ig?

HE’LL TAKE YOU DOWN THE WATER SLIDE THEY HAVE

HE MIGHT GET IN TROUBLE BUT HE DOESNT CARE

splinter also has a soft spot for you so he let’s it slide no matter how many warnings you guys get

you accompany him on shenanigans and pranks

your pranks aren’t really prank, it’s usually just you asking if your uncles’ shoes are untied

they don’t even wear shoes but they go with it

you got most of your music taste from him

he once got an empty box from an alleyway bc he saw a video of a cat jumping into a box

and he lowkey wondered if you would do the same

so he brought it back to the lair...and it was on sight

you sprinted away from wherever you were to sit in that box

whenever he has a bad day, he’ll remember that :)

speaking of collecting things, he’ll collect a lot of things for you

you have a collection of bracelets, necklaces, and you even have your own skateboard!

mikey doesn’t let you use it tho

the last time you tried to use it, you got hurt

you have to hear him say dad jokes a lot

EVEN THOUGH HE GETS SCOLDED...he’ll take you to the halloween parades with you on his shoulders

he’ll probably steal one of his brother’s bandana’s too, just so you match him

“stay in the shadows goddamnit” but parade 🥺🥺

you’re his little ‘sunshine’

he calls april your aunt and makes casey your extra uncle

raph can and will make jokes about you both sharing the same iq

and that’s why he’s your least favorite uncle /j

you became a cat person because of mikey

he would show you videos of cats to help calm you down with temper tantrums

he does the same thing that raph does to help you sleep

he churrs a lot because you said that it sounds like he’s a cat (purring) and he found out that it helps you fall asleep faster

he was also the main cause of you having a cat phase,,when you grow up, he’ll recall that specific phase just to embarrass you

Grandpa Splinter

he heard out your father’s troubles when he first took you in

leo was scared that he would get too attached to you and that you would end up getting hurt because of him

raph thought that his anger issues would end up with you getting hurt at some point

donnie thought he would accidentally treat you like an object/wouldn’t be able to communicate well with you

mikey thought he wouldn’t be someone you could depend on because he wasn’t as strong as his brothers

he feels like an old fart when you come into his life

he was furious at his sons when they took you in

cuz y’know, human and all

you grew on him tho and he just acts like he’s still mad at his kids

to get back at him, the 4 purposefully start calling him “grandpa splinter” whenever they saw him

which passed over to you

so whenever you saw him, you would run to him, calling him “grandpa splinter” with grabby hands

absolutely tells you about your dad when he was a child

they get embarrassed cuz they all did dumb shit as kid

he‘ll tell you about his son’s triumphs and how they saved the world twice

he’s a damn proud father

he marks your equivalent of the hashi as “the corner”

and on your 13th birthday, splinter plans to give you your own weapon of choice and wants to teach you the same training lessons he taught his sons

they don’t approve of it though,,

222 notes View Post

blue-snake-48

1 year ago

BABY BOI 🥹

Im Feeling Sick So I Tried To Finish At Least The Principal, Worth To Share Anyway

Im feeling sick so i tried to finish at least the principal, worth to share anyway

Spider sully au, where he is a hibrid of human Jake sully and Neytiri

• He has a long long tail very useful like a third leg to him and a long long queue very useless, he cant really connect with eywa :(

• his silly canine teeth are crooked to front cause it canot fit in his mouth 💞🥺

• he cant breath pandora air for more than 10minutes.

• the acid water still dyes his hair including his queue

• even though he is the oldest brother, and act as one, neteyam still the one whose jake demand more (just like in the movie). You must imagine why and how frustrating it is to spider

• even though he is the oldest again, all his siblings call his tiny brother to annoy him, less tuk, that cant wait to grow a few more inches and call him tiny brother too

• this spider cant even say he is "tall for a human" cause technically 🗣️

• he has to put his queue in his hair (like i the images) cause if he don't, it drag on the floor and its very uncomfortable :(

• yes i know queue growing from the neck is avatar shit and avatar jake is not evolved here, yes i do not care

@wonttalkaboutit also posted some cool headcanons 🥺💞 thank you friend for talking with me about this

Tags

spider socorro

435 notes View Post

blue-snake-48

2 years ago

Maybe Tonowari and Ronal adopting Spider modern/human au hc?

Okay, I wrote a little bit and then I also but some headcanons and stuff at the bottom :) lemme know if you want to hear more.

Spider wasn’t a pessimist, he was a realist. He didn’t think of the worst, he just knew that after so long, nothing good would be coming his way. Ten different foster homes in half as many years. He was fourteen and alone.

Norm, his social worker and only actual friend, was overworked and underpaid. He had a lot to deal with and Spider was just a box to check off of his To Do List. He was a good guy and he always made sure Spider was somewhere safe, but as the boy had gotten older, he’d also lost hope alongside Spider. Neither of them thought he’d get adopted. He had two years until he’d be old enough to emancipate himself and Norm knew he was just biding him time.

So, it was weird that he seemed excited about his next placement. Spider had been stuck in a group home for two weeks after his last foster family— the Sully’s —had to suddenly move, leaving the teen behind. They’d been plenty apologetic and he hadn’t even been with them for a full year, so it shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did. He shouldn’t have been so stupid as to think they’d want to take him with.

Maybe the enthusiasm was Norm trying to cheer his charge up after a shitty month. Maybe he’d finally cracked and was slowly turning into the Joker or Green Goblin or something. He wouldn’t mind a Hulked-out version of his social worker. It’d probably be funny to watch.

They suburb they pulled into was nice. They’d driven further south, towards the state’s coast. It was only three hours away, but it felt like a entirely different world. Ignoring the tourist-traps littering main street and the absurd amount of bikes, it looked peaceful and bright. Norm explained that his newest foster parents ran a fishery and a charter company. Spider didn’t think it was a good fit. He didn’t even know how to swim.

When they stopped in front of the large house in the center of the block, a pair of tall adults were already waiting, sat on the porch in a matching set of white rocking chairs. It was like something out of a TV show, too perfect. The overturned bike on the front lawn helped bring him back to reality. His skateboard was in the trunk of the car, along with his suitcase and a duffel bag of clothes. Lo’ak had insisted that he keep half of the decor from their shared room, even though a lot of it had already been there when he’d arrived.

“How many kids did you say they had?” He asked as Norm put the car in park.

“Two. Aounung and Tsireya. I think he’s sixteen and she’s . . . fifteen? Maybe your age, I can’t remember.”

Neteyam had been sixteen. He wasn’t much of a big brother when it came to Spider, but it wasn’t like he was Spider’s actual younger brother. The thought made his throat feel tight. He opened the car door, swallowing down saliva. First impressions were important and he was about to make a lot of them. New house, new school, same old Spider.

Spider wears shoes a size too big, a habit from childhood. He used to grow too fast as a kid and even though he'd stopped at 5"7, he bought clothes and shoes big just in case.

When he first gets settled, he's kind of wary of the other kids in the house. (No Baby in this AU, because babies are a handful and so are Spiders). I think Tsireya would definitely take him under her wing and try to help him get comfortable and stuff. Set up his room, make sure he's okay with the food and knows where everything is. Despite being a year younger, she's definitely a Big Sister when it come to him.

Aounung kind of ignores him at first, busy with school and learning about his parent's business, intending to take over at some point. But, I think if Spider was getting bullied or something, he'd definitely go into Big Brother mode and that'd kind of spark an interest/empathy.

With the Parents, I think Tonowari would probably be busy working a lot of the time, but he'd make an effort to be there for dinner every night and make sure to check in with each kid before bed. Definitely a gentle giant. I can see Spider being intimidated at first, with the tattoos and Tonowari's sheer size, not to mention he's probably ripped after spending most of his life fishing and swimming. I think the turning point for Spider would be Tonowari driving him to get new shoes or for a doctor's appointment or something one weekend and putting on, like, ABBA or Dolly Parton or something in the car and singing along. He doesn't even need to actually like that type of music, but it's disarming and gets a laugh from Spider. (Also, Tonowari trying to squeeze into a waiting room chair like he isn't 6"7 and shredded).

With Ronal, I can see Spider watching her do one of the other kid's hair and her offering to do his. (In Modern AU's, I think Spider would have long, curly hair like Olan Prenatt from Mid-90s (the guy who played Fuck-Shit). Except, he has no clue how to keep his hair from being a frizzy mess, so he just pulls it back most of the time. And he hesitates, remembering a foster mother once cutting his hair off while he was sleeping (which might have led to him growing it out in the first place) and then deciding to trust her to take care of it, of him.

Spider tries to run away a few months after arriving. He failed a test and got into a fight after school and he's sure he's about to be sent away. So, he decided to leave first. Maybe, it would be easier that way. Hurt less. (It doesn't.)

Aounung ends up finding him crying on the beach at like midnight and flat-out carries him home, refusing to let him down. Because, they were scared, dammit.

This is all I have so far for a modern AU, but lmk if you want to hear more! Also, guess who just started a Medical Assistant program online? ME. If anyone is in the medical field and has any tips, I'd greatly appreciate it!

356 notes View Post

blue-snake-48

2 years ago