i think the reason inside is so damn good and feels so much more relevant (and will likely hold up better) than any other covid-era media is that it's really about how pandemic-induced quarantine only reveals how isolated we all are normally. like a few songs:
problematic: any stupid or insensitive thing we do can now be archived and dragged up even decades later rather than being relegated to embarrassing memories
sexting: technology grants us entirely new realms of communication but can easily suck the intimacy out of them
all eyes on me: kind of a continuation of make happy's can't handle this, about the warring need and resentment for attention and how social media encourages us to perform constantly
how the world works: with nothing else to do we can hyper-focus on injustice, which thanks to global internet we know more about than ever and can't escape thinking about
30: aging, especially hitting an "adult" milestone like turning 30, inherently isolates you from "the youth" and therefore from the nexus of pop culture
white woman's instagram: social media is a facade. we cling to the beautiful, the aesthetic, the detached, bc the alternative is a crippling vulnerability that can be off-putting or uncomfortable
facetime with my mom: call it a reach but this song really reminds me of watsky's "wounded healer" about how stark the contrast is between understanding your parents and realizing they will never understand you. "and that's the deepest talk we've ever had" okay
that funny feeling: kind of a combo of everything above. capitalism, climate change, political unrest, physical quarantine, emotional isolation, performance, loneliness. "the quiet comprehending of the ending of it all"
covid quarantine was revealing, is sort of his thesis. it uncovered a lot of layers about what we put ourselves through every day in an attempt to not be alone w ourselves and it feels incredibly naked and melancholy. for me personally it made me realize problems i didn't even know i had, and i think that's true for a lot of people. bo you are a genius
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Inspired by Icarus, who dared to fly too near the sun on wings of feathers and wax. If he was in love with the sun, then this might as well be a story of forbidden love.
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Emoji spell for extreme good luck for the next two months
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Likes charge. Reblogs CAST
-nyan cat, llams with hats
-owls. everybody loves owls–
-minecraft before the jungle biome. minecraft hunger game servers.
-slap bracelets
-long sleves under tank tops…jean skirts with… leggings…. dc shoes… shell shoes…
those 60 seconds multiplication tables. the big blocks with 100 squares, but the strips of ten squares, the single squares? also shape wooden blocks. yellow hexagons, green triangles, blue diamonds, youd make pictures with them.
-morning circle. playing 7 up at school. FOUR CORNERS
-u knew the cookout was lit when they had huggies those juice barrel drinks that u bite the top foil
-sillybands
-nintendogs on your grey ds plus cooking mama
-remembering vaguely having to use a cd player as a kid, then an mp3, than an ipod-
-zebra. print. everything.
-japanese erasers
-duct tape purses
-the justin bieber sounds like a girl debate
-yo danny phantom hE wAS JUST 14
-shark boy and lava girl. sky high. stewart little. minutemen. halloweentown. the thirteenth year (mermaid). smart house. spy kids. twitches. princess protection program (bonus points if you watched it live and counted how many times they said princess). lemonade mouth.
-staying up late enough to see george lopez start to play
- “mom how do you spell cartoonnetwork whats the website”
- that weird fosters home for imaginary friends mmo
- fucking TOONTOWN
- “disney!! three six five!!!!!”
- microsoft paint created MASTERPIECES
- was… was kidpix a thing
-bill nye the science guy and liberty kids
-alvin and the chipmunks covers.
- school store! get me a pencil grip for a quarter.
-crimp your hair bitch… or straighten it. or clip in feathers. or strands of dye-
-bakugan and tech decks
-wheezers ‘beverly hills’ on the playground. we will rock you on the bus.
-camp rock. highschool musical. epic disney crossovers.
-if you didnt have a blog on blogspot.com you weren’t shit (with the extension where you could feed the fish)
-lisa frank folders or those folders with close up of dogs and cat faces
-having to learn the fucking recorder. hot crossed buns… hOt croSssED BUNS,,,,
-did anyone play that weird wizard typing quest
-SMENCILS
-clUb PENGUIN. wizard 101. pirates of the carribean online. webkinz.
-everything is not what it seems when u can get all you wanted in ur wildest dreams
-popular snacks at snack time,,,: gritz, gogurt, fruit roll ups tongue tattoos, zebra cakes, cheese dip crackers, those cookie crackers where u took the red stick and spread it… gushers
-in the wee hours of the night you could hear… hear the chia pets taunting you
-orbeez. monster gummies. hotwheels beat that. fur real friends. pillow pets. littlest pet shop. yugioh. bop it. floam. tamagotchis.
-iDog
-HAVING THE KICKASS SCOOTER THENN KNOCKING UR FUCKING KNEES OFF WITH IT FUCK THAT SHIT
- “HERE I AM IN UR LIFE… HERE U ARE IN MINE… YEAH WE GOT THE SWEET LIFE… MOSTT OF THE TIME”
-underdog. undeRDOG. UNDERDOG!
-when you were playing on the ps2 and u fucking lost the fucking MEMORY CARD
-SPYRO
-playing gta the one where the guy wears the blue shirt (liberty city? ) with the sound off… memorizing cheat codes… square circle square-
-the fucking wii… making miis for literally everyone in ur class and sending the ones you didnt like to the parade
-slap slap slap… clap clap clap… SLAP SLAP SLAP…. CLAP CLAP CLAP (i.e 3… 2… 1… BLAST OFF from here to the stars,)
-when the teacher rolled out the elmo projector and those transparent plastic papers
-megan, MEGAN! (i.e i ran over oprah…..)
-the dell computers took over
-bruh message me on msn… then skype
-making a facebook page. liking all the fucking dumb facebook pages you could
-pokemon
-Z̵͖͂Ô̶̘Ö̴͔́. ̵͉͊Z̷̭̊O̷̻͒Ô̸̟ ̴̛̞Z̸̭̕Ȏ̸̗O̴͎̊ ̴̡͑. P̵̧̈Ȃ̷͖L̴̞̚S̶̰̐
-okay those weird ass beads u always got for Christmas that you had to iron to make shapes
-the fortune tellers… pick a color… blue? okay b-l-u-e. OK now pick a number… ok ur gonna marry lindsay lohan and have 80 kids
-WHAT YHR FUCK ARE THOSE GHOST THEMED CEREALS CALLED??? BOOBERRY??? AH SHIT
-team edward vs team jacob determined your survival
-thE yEar tHree THOusAnD
-black eyed peas
-fucking angry birds and flappy bird murdered everyone
-HEELYS OH DEAR GOD HEELYS I ALMOST FELL AND SLIPPED INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION
-that rabits game… let them go to the moon
-THE PS2 SOUND UP NOISE. THE DOOOOOOOSH
-every dvd had that coming soon bullshit
-stealing ur cousins gameboy
-Sugar. Spice. And everything nice.
-that fucking monkey at some of some fucking tv shows what the fuck was that fucking- hi im paul,,
-asdf videos! (desmond the moon bear.. i like trians)
-if you didnt flip ur shit everytime u saw a yellow car and yell BUMBLEBEE
-when the phone rings in school “THE PHONE… THE PHONE IS RI N G ING”
-“WAZZZZUUPPP!!” “WHAZZAAAAHHP!!”
-kidz bop. wholet the dogs out… who who? who?
-We all want to forget …. annoying orange and fred but god wont let us..
-MY SHINY Teeth and ME.
-that weird ass spongebob half time episode where theyre in the dome… or the spongebob episode with wormy… or the spongebob episode with the hooks (dont touch the hooks) or david hasslehof in the spongebob episode…
-invader zim
-FLAPJACK THAT FUCKING NIGHTMARE SHOW. And chowder. Coraline gave me NIGHTMARES fuck!
- I LIke to move it move it…
-POPTROPICA
-where the sidewalk ends from the school library… with goosebumps and diary of a whimpy kid.. BOOK FAIRS
-leapfrog
-THOSE GYM SCOOTERS. FOUR SQUARE. KICKBALL. THE PARACHUTE THING.
-no one knew how to use a fucking green screen
-🎶 we the peoplee… in order to form a more perfect union…🎶 conjunction junction whats ur function 🎶 puff the magic dragon 🎶
THERES A HUNDRED AND FOUR DAYS OF SUMMER VACATION-
the original teen titans
teach me how to dougie. soldier boy. the hoedown throwdown. the hannah montana movie 3d they were giving 3d glasses away literally in walmart
“Nursey?”
Nursey blinks once, and then a second time when things are still blurry. He swivels his desk chair to face the doorway where there’s a smear of orange on top of gray that resolves itself into Dex after several more blinks. He’s wearing sweatpants that are a slightly different color gray than his sweatshirt. The only pops of color are the smears of purple under his eyes, the flush of his cheeks–pink and sweet like embarrassment–, and, of course, the nest of hair he’s forgotten to have cut for at least two months now.
Sometimes–fuck, but sometimes Nursey forgets how in love he let himself get. The fact that he has at least four different poems he could quote right now, a separate poem writing itself the longer he stares. He wishes he knew how it would feel to brush his thumb across that blush, to tuck his nose into the flyaway hairs behind Dex’s ear. He wishes he knew how to love without it ruining his goddamned life.
Really. It’s way too late–or early, god, what time is it–and Nursey needs every last braincell he’s got left to finish this scene for the script-writing class he somehow let Farmer talk him into but all he wants to do is sit here and watch a sleep deprived Dex blush as he lists into the door frame.
Before Nursey can think something utterly ridiculous like, oh, to be that door frame, he blinks really hard and asks, “What’s up, Dex-a-doodle?”
Dex must truly be exhausted because he doesn’t say anything about the nickname. “Are you–” he gestures vaguely in the direction of Nursey’s laptop.
Nursey spares a glance for his scene, which has remained six pages long for the past thirty minutes despite his best efforts. He closes the lid and turns back to Dex. “I’m free, what do you need?”
Sheepish, Dex pulls a stack of papers from behind his back. Nursey sighs. Really, he ought to bluster, ought to act annoyed and refuse to help, make Dex offer him any number of things in return for reading some of the worst writing he’s ever been unfortunate enough to have put in front of him, but–but it’s very late and Dex is soft and sleepy and illiterate and Nursey can’t argue himself out of simply wanting Dex to stay.
He holds out a hand. Dex grins, the slow, crooked thing he didn’t turn on Nursey until the end of their softie year, and he puts the essay into Nursey’s outstretched hand and takes a seat on Nursey’s bed while he waits.
Nursey turns back to his desk, reaching out idly for his red pen while he starts scanning the intro paragraph. After the first two rounds of edits, it doesn’t make him cringe immediately. There’s a typo here or there and a missing comma in the second paragraph, but Nursey finds himself smiling by the end of the second example. The thesis changed dramatically since the last time he read it–the second round of edits ended with a long, lengthy, and loud discussion of the subject material, during which Nursey may or may not have provided a caffeine-induced rant about the misreading of Shakespearean plays and despite the rather dazed look in Dex’s eyes upon the conclusion of said speech, some of it seemed to have made an impact.
“It’s good,” Nursey says, as he finishes reading, smiling to himself. “Now, don’t get too excited, it’s good for a STEM, but–” Nursey cuts himself off as he turns to find Dex asleep on the bottom bunk. He’s tipped the wrong way, feet resting beside the pillows, his neck bent awkwardly as his cheek presses into the quilt.
Nursey huffs a laugh at himself for the fierce swell of affection in his chest. He puts down the essay and the red pen and crosses to the bed, gently moving a pillow under Dex’s head. Out of it as he is, he doesn’t even stir, simply settles back down as Nursey pulls away.
Nursey turns back to his desk. He put the essay down on top of his laptop and he picks it up as he turns his computer back on. He skims the first page again, stupid smile on his lips. Who would’ve thought that Dex was actually listening to him, all this time.
The Word document pops onto the screen, shining too-bright light into the room. Nursey places the essay to the side and rereads the last two pages of his scene, finding himself continuing it effortlessly when he reaches the point he’d left off. He makes the page count before the hour is up and saves without rereading it, shutting the laptop and sending him back into a softer light. He braces himself and turns.
Dex sleeps away peacefully. Arms wrapped around himself, one leg pulled up towards his chest. Nursey lets himself watch without feeling guilty–he’s too tired for anything more complicated than fondness. Sometimes it really does feel so simple.
The truth; tonight Nursey is going to get ready to sleep as quietly as possible and somehow manage to trip on his way to the bed, and Dex will wake up, bleary and pink, make to sit up, make to leave, and Nursey will press him back down and tell him to, “Stay. Dex, just–stay,” and Dex will, because sometimes Dex listens, and Nursey will fall asleep counting the soft breaths below him.
The truth; Dex has really horrible takes on Shakespeare, and Emily Dickinson, and most literature up to and including the Magic Treehouse books, but he never stops Nursey’s rants, and continues to ask for Nursey’s help, and his essays get nothing but better.
The truth; one day, Nursey is going to tell Dex about all the poetry, quoted and written, that Dex inspires in him, and Dex–Dex is going to listen.
PRE-ORDERY RUSZYŁY!
https://tictail.com/lgbtstorypl/preorder-lgbtstorypl-zine-1
nasze zdjęcia w jednym miejscu omg. nie widzę co pisze klawiatura mi zasłania
168 posts