The Ultimate Blackinnon Masterlist

click here for my writing's masterlist.

After digging endlessly through thousands of Blackinnon fics, I'm giving you a big fat list of Blackinnon recommendations that are posted throughout FF.net and AO3.

ʷⁱˡˡ ᵖʳᵒᵇᵃᵇˡʸ ᵏᵉᵉᵖ ᵃᵈᵈⁱⁿᵍ ˢᵗᵘᶠᶠ⁻ I still have many more saved up. Perhaps I'll make another one in the future.

🔸 for multi-chapter 😢 for "i cried"

Thank you for the recommendations, I haven't read all but I'll include your picks at the bottom

Sirius Black and the eleven times he fell in love with Marlene McKinnon by VellaNikola 🔸🥈😢 | AO3

Summary: By the time he realized what he was feeling, he already knew of eleven distinctive events that led him to feel the way he did.

“Why do you hate me, McKinnon?” he whined.

She laughed at him with that familiar tone he hadn’t heard in far too long and she smiled in that way that so few had ever seen. “Someone’s got to keep you in check.”

6 Years by HopeRomance | FF

Summary: In 1975 it starts with sideways glances and tiny smiles... A chronicle of the six years (and then some) of Sirius Black and Marlene Mckinnon's relationship.

She's new to the Quidditch team and he thinks it's going to be a disaster. She's all blonde curls and sparkling eyes and wide smiles-not at all fit for such a physical sport. But he's never seen her fly.

Stray Thought 😢 by lyin | FF

When he looked out of the corner of his eye, sometimes he still saw her waiting for him... Marlene McKinnon & Sirius Black, who never had a girlfriend- he had a motorcycle instead.

But once in a blue-grey moon, when he was not so alone, before Azkaban, and then on nights when his heart wasn't drumming out that James and Lily were dead, dead, dead to the tune of his latest mistake, when he felt like going out for a drink and kissing a girl he didn't love until they were both dizzy and breathless, he would have an old stray thought of Marlene McKinnon.

Free by Waterlily23 | AO3

This one is short but I fell in love with it the first time I read it.

Marlene McKinnon and Sirius Black were many things but most of all they were free.

An Outsiders Perspective by Waterlily23 | AO3

You see them, Marlene McKinnon and Sirius Black. A view of the two trouble makers from an outsider's perspective.

You see her bring out a pack of cigarettes put one between her lips, light it before passing the packet to him who does the same thing.

The Last of Us by PadnProng 🔸 🥇 | AO3

This is one of my favourites of all time, and that's saying a lot. Slow. Sirius's character is spot on. Not completed but 100 percent worth the read. Not centered around blackinnon relationship, more on the war but it's still there and it's very very strong.

“Alright,” said Marlene, after only a moment of consideration. “How about you kiss me?” she suggested.

Sirius’ eyes grew wide, suddenly choking on his own saliva. He didn’t quite expect her to handle it like that.“Wh-what?...” he stammered, at a loss for words possibly for the first time in his life.

“Huh,” Marlene remarked, tossing her head to the side. “I thought you would have been a lot smoother than that.”

Sirius's 10 Rules (or Pillow Talk) by haeliestorm | AO3

Summary: Lily has always liked to reprimand Sirius when he broke school rules. When she finds out he has his own rules (and has broken many of those too) she just finds it funny.

He really couldn't work out why he kept letting this happen. He was sleeping with one of his good friends, and this wasn't even the only time. It was the third. Why? Perhaps because you really enjoy it, and really like that it's with her, said a small voice in his head.

Falling Apart by Gwaeros | FF

Because Sirius Black understands.

Because they aren’t just Sirius and Marlene, the unbreakable, they are people too, but nobody realises the truth, nobody realises that they’ve been broken all along.

What Are You Doing? by aejaycee | AO3

There are times where Sirius could just lean in...

"Do I make you nervous?" Marlene teased, noticing the way he stiffened uncomfortably now that they were so close. They'd been careful not to let this happen. They knew, even then, that something was changing.

Ephemeral Tallies, Sempiternal Scars by (orphanacc) | AO3

Soulmate AU: AU in which every time a person falls in love, a red line like a tally mark shows up on their wrist. When their love becomes requited, the tally will become black, and when their loved one dies, the tally becomes a scar.

Sirius had no tallies. It wasn’t particularly shocking—he didn’t let himself love easily. But, he must admit, compared to the rest of his friends, his bare wrist looked lonely next to Remus’ one, James’ two, and Peter’s three.

thunderstorms by honeyspeaches | AO3

Summary: and he thinks, this girl is a thunderstorm, wild and deadly and far too easy to love

Sirius Black is not to be trusted, she tells herself in the month that follows. Marlene McKinnon is positively mental, he tells himself in turn.

Grass is weirdly itchy by livy_bear | AO3

This is a simple and short one-shot. All fluff :).

There are few things that are absolutely certain in the world: the sun is warm; grass is weirdly itchy; winter is the best season for cuddling; and Sirius loved waking up and seeing Marlene asleep next to him.

Guilty Pleasure by rachhudson | FF

I like how subtle Sirius is in this fic.

Every night, without fail, she was there, with her friends, by the fire. And every night, without fail, Sirius watched her from the Marauders' favorite table across the room in the corner.

Those are the days he lives for 😢 by kingslayers | FF

No dialogue. One-shot. Amazing.

Some days, she lets herself love him. (she doesn't know it, but those are the days he lives for)

Acrophobia by Budapest_All_Over_Again | AO3

Marlene loves his motorcycle. Or maybe she just loves him

She gave his middle a squeeze, determined to not fall off. He laughed, a rough bark.

Happy Memory by mckinnon-m | FF

They took her, the only thing that was worth fighting for.

And Sirius Black knew that, when Marlene McKinnon left, she took his heart with her.

Haunted by polverine 😢 (@sisforsammi) | AO3

This is heartbreaking I teared up. Also, she has a lot of Marauders content that includes blackinnon. So, check her out!

Summary: In the days before his death, Sirius can see Marlene.

It was the kitchen this time. He’d been just about to pour himself a drink, when there she was, standing at the other end of the long table.

Not Really, and that’s important by Paige_Marie | AO3

Blackinnon is minor in this one but I like how complex Sirius feels and how vulnerable he sounds.

Sirius never had a home, not really. Sirius had a house but not a home and that's important.

Favourite things by Siriusly_McKinnon | AO3

Sirius and Marlene enjoy the sunshine

‘Are you going to keep staring at me or are you going to lie down and enjoy the sun’ she stage whispered, startling him out of his own thoughts.

‘Can’t help it when I’ve got something so lovely to look at McKinnon’ he replied grinning.

of war and unintended sacrifices by kingslayers | FF

Sirius and Marlene talking about the war. Less romance, more serious.

"James thinks it'll be worth it," he mutters.

"James is in love," she says sadly. "He has to think that because he's bringing a child into this. You couldn't live with yourself if you didn't believe that."

Chill my bones by percychased | FF

Another short one

Usually he'd say "Good luck with that," with a flirtatious wink and walk away, but he found himself distracted with his newfound knowledge - James was right. Maybe he did fancy Marlene, just a little bit.

The Storm and Water by marauders.padfootsb | FF

Summary: Marlene was always scared of storms, while Sirius was always scared of water.

Whenever someone asked Sirius where his favorite place to swim was, he always said, "The ocean." But really, he'd love to say, "Marlene McKinnon's eyes.

Firewhisky Façade by Megsy42 | FF

Short. No dialogue. Beautiful.

Marlene McKinnon liked to think she was brave, but when it came to Sirius Black, perhaps she feared everything.

Not Forever by accioremote7 | FF

This is the stereotype of Blackinnon but I kinda like it

He pretended not to care, not to give a shit, because that was who he was. And though he would deny it to everyone, he found himself wanting, longing, wishing to feel her touch again.

Caution by silversailorganymede | FF

Beautiful One-shot.

No, Sirius Black was not the type to think before he acted – except where it came to Marlene McKinnon, though some people wouldn't have called that thinking at all.

Marlene's Last Day 🥉 😢 by My Little Big Blue Box | FF

Attention! This is the first fic I read about Blackinnon and look at me now. This is how I get here. This is good. just read it. Please.

Summary: Sirius gets drunk and finally admits that Marlene was never just a fling but so much more. Unfortunately, he can't see into the future and doesn't know of the tragedy just hours away.

Just before locking it shut, she heard Sirius 'whoop!' loudly and a crack sounded after, signaling he was gone, leaving Marlene to smile like a teenager all by herself.

the stars that fill polluted skies by iliads | FF

Marlene and Sirius having a conversation.

You're fucked up, Marlene."

"I know," she says, "but you are too, so it's okay. Right?"

Dysfunctional Beauty by Waterlily23 | AO3

So here we are we made something so beautiful and so dysfunctional

Marlene McKinnon and Sirius Black were heartbreakingly gorgeous, with his aristocratic face and deep grey eyes, and her long blonde hair that fell oh so perfectly. They were devastatingly gorgeous, too beautiful. It just couldn’t last.

Starry-Eyed by smallpaperstars | FF

Told from a unique point of view, this tale explores the ill-starred romance of Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon.

After a while, he laughed. "If only Marlene could see me now," he said. "She always swore I'd end up in prison." Then he went to sleep. I could have used his swearwords myself. I needed to hear this story about whoever Marlene was. It felt important.

The dead girl's smile by she'sasiriusriot | FF

and while they describe this unknown stranger he is simply jealous of the dead.

He swallows and starts, "Marlene Mckinnon was definitely not perfect," he can almost see her, shaking her head beside Emmeline, berating him for insulting her at 'her party'. He shakes his head ruefully, "but i think i might have loved her."

Knight in Distress, Damsel in Shining Armour by Ralinde |FF

In which Marlene saved Sirius.

"Fine," she gave in. "Next time, you get to be the knight in shining armour and you can come rescue me and sweep me off on your horse."

He knew she was making fun of him and he didn't want to disturb the light atmosphere between them, so he joined in on her joke. "Nah, I think I'm more of a knight on a shiny motorcycle."

Like the Storybooks by @matrixaffiliate & EnthusiasticSloth 🔸 | AO3

Royalty AU. I loved this one so much. Authors have other blackinnon stories you should deffo check out.

“But,” he stood and her arms returned around his neck, “honor… virtue…other concepts such as those?” This was like the pull that Sir Lancelot felt to Guinevere. In some stories, he maintained her honor, but in all of them, it was his ruination.

@matrixaffiliate has A LOT of blackinnon AU and fics. Although Like the Storybooks is my fav, I encourage you to check out all of her works in her masterlist here. The popular ones are Saudade, A twist of Fate, and my other personal fav, Glimpsing Happiness.

That Night by Potterheademx | FF

Sirius is being questioned about that night, but he can't seem to speak the truth.

That night, he had been with her. By her grave. Clearing out the growing debris and laying fresh, new poppies, her favourite, at her resting place.

We all fall down by livesonacloudinthesky | FF

Sirius and Marlene fought after a mission.

"Oi, McKinnon, nice of you to return after all. A really fucking, amazing idea of yours, to just bloody leave me alone in the warehouse, leaving me to explain the mess you created."

Memories by bookworm42x | FF

In his cold, dank prison cell, Sirius remembers the only girl he ever loved. Oneshot.

She yells out: "Long live Gideon and Fabian!", and whispers softly in Sirius's ear, "And long live Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon."

Blasphemy by Anon | AO3

A little out of character in Sirius's part but cute!

Summary: During Saturday’s Quidditch match against Ravenclaw, three things happen in rapid succession: Sirius almost gets killed by a Bludger, Marlene McKinnon pulls off a spectacular Hairpin Turn and saves his life, and Sirius realizes that okay, holy shit, he’s actually in love with her.

Except that ‘a couple more days’ turns into a week, which turns into two weeks, which slips into three weeks, and he still hasn’t talked to Marlene. And he’s still pretty sure he’s legitimately in love with her.

Parents’ worst nightmare by Sophieofwinterfell | AO3

Summary: James and Marlene liked to go on and on about how they went way back, being childhood friends and all, and they did; but Sirius had a history with Marlene McKinnon too.

“Great. Wanna dance and show these old dinosaurs what it’s like to have a good time, Black?”

“Always, McKinnon. Always.”

5 Signs You’re In Love by sophieofwinterfell | AO3

Sirius should have never listened to Mary read them that stupid article from Witch Weekly Magazine... Or, 5 signs Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon are in love with each other.

Number one. You can’t stop staring at them.

So what if Sirius looked at McKinnon a lot? It wasn’t as if he couldn’t stop whenever he wanted to, or as though he was being creepy about it. Besides, it wasn’t his fault McKinnon was always around… who was he going to stare at? Peter?

The Flowers Do Fade by not my daughter | FF

At Marlene McKinnon's funeral, Sirius reflects on glory, war, and the woman he might have loved.

When I think of you, I think of your Gryffindor scarf in those vibrant colors and that loud cheer you would have at Quidditch games, the way you snaked your arms around my neck to kiss me. I can't reconcile that, not really, with the whole serenity of this place. You were always active, always moving. I don't understand how you can be resting, even now.

The Beginning by He called Me Baby | FF

Just a little blackinnon and quidditch, normal settings, usual blackinnon stereotype. cute.

Summary: How the infamous Sirius Black met his match in Marlene McKinnon.

They stayed like this until finally, Marlene spoke, "You know what I don't get Black; why you think that only one can play that game?"

Broken by xTimorousBeastie | FF

It was only a matter of time before one of them broke, but they made sure to pack a lifetime in before then. Too bad happiness was never for them. Misery was.

They have escaped the world together more often than either of them could count but the one time she needed him as much as he needed her he was off falling back into his old routine and he cried over the casket where she lay all in white as pain akin to that he's never felt racked through his body.

Magic of Rain by loveislouder94 | FF

Very sappy/corny but we needed that sometimes, right?

Summary: Marlene caught Sirius's eye when he saw her dance in the rain, so carefree.

"You are some sort of angel," he tells her, and then he turns around and walks away before he adds something stupid like "and I think I might be falling in love with you." (It'd be a lie, though. He'd fallen in love with her long ago, now he's waiting for her to catch him.)

Move by Rainbow Dust | FF

Sirius's thoughts during Marlene's funeral

Lily says it's fitting. I don't think it fits at all. It doesn't fit you. Nothing about this day is fitting.

In Love and Death, We Don’t Decide by stonecoldhedwig 🔸| AO3

A very cute multi-chapter. Completed, which is very rare for a blackinnon fic.

“Black and I were very drunk,” she said cooly, avoiding Sirius’ gaze entirely. “It’s never going to happen again.”

“Must you wound me so when I’m so fragile, McKinnon?” Sirius feigned, clutching a hand to his chest. The group laughed, and Marlene finally met his dark eyes with her blue ones. She gave him a smile, more relaxed now, and tutted.

“You’ll live, I’m sure,” she said drolly.

What’s owed to them? By @bisexualsirius | AO3

With the war picking up around them, Marlene writes a letter to Sirius to read after her death. Sirius find it.

Marlene hoped that when he found the letter, he could walk down the hall and ask her about it. That she would be there to explain why she wrote it, and that would be the end of the matter. They would go to meet the others for lunch, and the war would be a thing of memory.

The universe owed them that much.

Rain by Rainbow Dust | FF

Tonks shows Sirius how her "morphing" works, but when she transforms into someone from Sirius' past that he just wants to forget, questions are awoken.

"Do you like it?" The girl in front of him smiled.

"Marlene?" Sirius managed up.

The girl raised her eyebrows. "It's me? Tonks?" she laughed.

Sight of the Sun by SiriusUntiltheVeryEnd | FF

Simple blackinnon fluff.

He handed her a cup of coffee, she looked down at it and beamed. "You know what I put in my coffee?"

"I sat next to you at breakfast for two years." He shrugged.

The light in the storm by jesatria7 🔸 | FF

Marlene and Sirius living their life. very simple multichapter. discontinued but worth a read.

He turned his attention back to Marlene's tattoo. The deep red and vibrant green stood out against her pale, cream-colored skin. She really did have beautiful skin. It contrasted nicely with her deep burgundy sheets.

"Are you watching me sleep?" she asked, startling him out of his thoughts.

Night Clubs and Neon Lights by cyriathestrange 🔸 | AO3

Disaster attracts disaster. Both notorious flirts and school letharios, Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon have always steered clear of each other... because of subconscious warning bells that become all too clear when magnetism strikes -- the summer before their Seventh Year.

He remembered now, why he'd never seriously pursued her before. She— or perhaps they— had a particular magnetism that he realized now, he must have instinctively perceived and had thus steered clear. She was free and fun and independent in a way that was very ... frightening.

Why? He tried to inspect this fear and concluded that ... she felt out of his control.

Steam Engine by MischievousMessrs 🔸 | FF

This one is smutty so if you like that, give this one a go. The story is about how Marlene wants to make Sirius nicer towards Lily by bribing him with a snog.

That was how it continued for the rest of September. Sirius would be polite and get on with Evans, then at the end of the week, in a different location every time; he and Marlene would snog each other senseless. However, it was always her that initiated and it was always her that finished it. Every time Sirius left unsatisfied, getting more and more wound up and sexually frustrated and he couldn't tell whether he liked it or not. It was a new kind of thrill.

* Will be updated every time I find new good ones*

People also recommend: (A lot of gems down there, folks)

Out to find the better part of me by Red Car Wire

Acrobat by managingmischief

Black Lace by chinochan-inulover

Life Changing by WalkingTheTightrope

Pucker up, love by jadedlights07

Wild Card by Queen Nightingale

A Lovestory by Nimelloth

Easy by fanta-faerie

Blow The Wind Westerly

Just Tonight by Clarasteacup

Difference by Rainbow Dust

Burning through my darkest night by halcyon_epochs

Dandelion by TheMockTurtle

Firewhiskey & Denial by always-a-hp-girl

Vanilla and citrus by xnomii

Marlene and Sirius one shot by Norillix3

Hear You Me, My Friends by rideswithprongs

And Maybe by the lola

One More Night by JustAnotherHufflepuff

Mystery Flower by Chloe is a Unicorn

Steamy Showers by elfing14

I cant by itsahaiilstorm

Boredom by Ninja in Chucks

Just tonight by livesonacloudinthesky

This list is long overdue and even though I have many more fav fanfics up my sleeve, I guess this would be enough for now. Please inform me if a link or info is incorrect.

Tags

blackinnon

Alternatives for 25 overused words in writing

1. Interesting- note worthy; thought-provoking; fascinating; attracting; appealing; attention-grabbing; captivating; gripping; invigorating; engrossing; engaging; electrifying.

2. Beautiful- striking; stunning; magnificent; lovely; charming; gorgeous; radiant; dazzling.

3. Good- acceptable, wonderful, exceptional; positive; brilliant; first-rate; notable; stellar; favorable; superb; marvellous; prime.

4. Bad- awful; lousy; poor; unacceptable; crummy; dreadful; rough; inferior; substandard; atrocious; appalling; dreadful; defective.

5. Look- glance; fixate; observe; stare; gaze; peer; scan; watch; study; browse; eye; glimpse; review; inspect.

6. Nice- lovely; superior; pleasant; satisfying; delightful; likeable; agreeable; correct; adequate; swell; fair; okay; approved.

7. Very- extremely; exceedingly; exceptionally; immensely; tremendously; abundantly; particularly; remarkably.

8. Fine- satisfactory; worthy; respectable; exquisite; suitable; well; imposing; decent; admirable; praise-worthy; decent.

9. Happy- cheerful; delighted; pleased; content; amused; thrilled; elated; thrilled; ecstatic; on cloud 9.

10. Really- genuinely; truly; honestly; actually; undoubtedly; certainly; remarkably; incredibly; downright; unquestionably; extremely.

11. Sad- miserable; gloomy; devastated; down at heard; distraught; distressed; dispirited; sorrowful; downcast; feeling blue; desolate.

12. Big- massive; huge; giant; gigantic; enormous; large; colossal; immense; bulky; tremendous; hefty; sizable; extensive; great; substantial.

13. Shocked- taken aback; lost for words; flabbergasted; staggered; outraged; astonished; astounded; stunned; speechless; appalled.

14. Small- tiny; petite; mini; miniature; microscopic; minuscule; compact; pocket-sized; cramped; puny; undersized; limited; meager; modest; minute; pint-sized.

15. Angry- irate; enraged; touchy; cross; resentful; indignant; infuriated; wound-up; worked-up; seething; raging; heated; bitter; bad-tempered; offended; frustrated.

16. Know- understand; comprehend; realize; learn; perceive; recognize; grasp; sense.

17. Change- alter; transform; replace; diversify; adjust; adapt; modify; remodel; vary; evolve; transfigure; redesign; refashion; advance; transition; shift; adjustment.

18. Old- aged; ancient; matured; elderly; senior; veteran; decrepit; seasoned; venerable; past one’s prime; doddering; senile.

19. Think- ponder; reflect; conceive; imagine; contemplate; consider; determine; realize; visualize; guess/assume; conclude; envision.

20. Funny- comical; ludicrous; amusing; droll; entertaining; absurd; hilarious; silly; whimsical; hysterical; joking; witty; facetious; slapstick; side-splitting; knee-slapping.

21. Go- move; proceed; advance; progress; travel; walk; journey; depart; exit; flee; make one’s way; clear out; get underway.

22. Give- grant; donate; hand-out; present; provide; deliver; hand over; offer; award; bestow; supply with; contribute to; send; entrust.

23. Get- acquire; obtain; receive; gain; earn; gather; collect; buy; purchase; attain; score; secure; take possession of; grab.

24. Easy- effortless; simple; clear; smooth; straightforward; uncomplicated; painless; accessible; apparent; basic; plain; child’s play; facile; elementary; cinch.

25. Fast- agile; brisk; rapid; nimble; swift; accelerated; fleeting; high-speed; active; dashing; winged; hurried; turbo.

Tags

writing writing things very helpful

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bleuetteecatholic

4 months ago

Not to be dramatic but Harry Potter would lose his fucking shit if he knew how y'all treat Ron Weasley

Tags

ron weasley harry james potter and he would be right weasley is our king

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bleuetteecatholic

1 month ago

“People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is “You’re safe with me”—that’s intimacy.”

— Taylor Jenkins Reid, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (via wishfulromancing)

Tags

yes favorite quotes of all time

370 notes View Post

bleuetteecatholic

2 months ago

“Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.”

— Charlie Chaplin in a letter to his daughter, Geraldine

Tags

quotes words life quotes favorite quotes of all time on important things one of most truthful truths ever written

16K notes View Post

bleuetteecatholic

4 months ago

What the fuck, Richard.

Tags

richard iii

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bleuetteecatholic

2 months ago

We Fight Every Night For Something, But When The Sunsets We’re Both The Same. Half In The Shadows.

We fight every night for something, but when the sunsets we’re both the same. Half in the shadows. Half burned in flames.

Tags

jeronica when the sun sets we’re both the same i don't even have words but i live for paralells

139 notes View Post

bleuetteecatholic

4 months ago

Harry is a clever and competent wizard

A recurring theme in fandom I find endlessly tiresome and disappointing is the portrayal of Harry as an academically struggling student who’s lamentably hopeless at Potions and middling in all other subjects aside from DADA, and who, alongside Ron, is in constant need of Hermione’s guidance. It’s present almost everywhere. It’s reinvented canon. And it’s shoved down new readers and non-fans’ throats alike. Please, there’s an HP wiki available for your perusal. Don’t go about consulting popular fics and the Hermione-biased movie director’s visions to draw your ideas of Harry and Ron’s psyche!

It’s doubly aggravating when this depiction is used to highlight Hermione, Draco, or so-and-so classmate’s magical Einstein-levels of genius and reinforce the false narrative that Harry’s singular claim to brilliance lies in Quidditch, and that he’s got nothing more than fluff and snitches between his ears on top of being oblivious to the point of idiocy. That apart from excelling in Defence, he doesn’t have much upstairs... (And even then a minority of the fandom portray DADA as akin to gym class where it’s all honing muscles, muscle memory, and reflexes, with Harry framed as an archetypical gymbro on top being a himbo. What?!)

So we’re just going to overlook his devastatingly biting wit and clever asides? Or brush aside how he repeatedly demonstrates his ability to perform well under pressure? His keen intuition and how he carefully retains seemingly insignificant, misfit puzzle pieces until the eureka moment strikes and he seamlessly integrates them into the bigger picture?

Take these two examples from Philosopher’s Stone with an intrepid tiny Harry:

Harry was quite sure the unsettled feeling didn’t have anything to do with work, though. He watched an owl flutter toward the school across the bright blue sky, a note clamped in its mouth. Hagrid was the only one who ever sent him letters. Hagrid would never betray Dumbledore. Hagrid would never tell anyone how to get past Fluffy . . . never . . . but — Harry suddenly jumped to his feet. “Where’re you going?” said Ron sleepily. “I’ve just thought of something,” said Harry. He had turned white. “We’ve got to go and see Hagrid, now.” “Why?” panted Hermione, hurrying to keep up. “Don’t you think it’s a bit odd,” said Harry, scrambling up the grassy slope, “that what Hagrid wants more than anything else is a dragon, and a stranger turns up who just happens to have an egg in his pocket? How many people wander around with dragon eggs if it’s against wizard law? Lucky they found Hagrid, don’t you think? Why didn’t I see it before?”

Quirrell cursed under his breath. “I don’t understand . . . is the Stone inside the mirror? Should I break it?” Harry’s mind was racing. What I want more than anything else in the world at the moment, he thought, is to find the Stone before Quirrell does. So if I look in the mirror, I should see myself finding it — which means I’ll see where it’s hidden! But how can I look without Quirrell realizing what I’m up to? He tried to edge to the left, to get in front of the glass without Quirrell noticing, but the ropes around his ankles were too tight: he tripped and fell over. Quirrell ignored him. He was still talking to himself. “What does this mirror do? How does it work? Help me, Master!” And to Harry’s horror, a voice answered, and the voice seemed to come from Quirrell himself. “Use the boy . . . Use the boy . . .” Quirrell rounded on Harry. “Yes — Potter — come here.” He clapped his hands once, and the ropes binding Harry fell off. Harry got slowly to his feet. “Come here,” Quirrell repeated. “Look in the mirror and tell me what you see.” Harry walked toward him. I must lie, he thought desperately. I must look and lie about what I see, that’s all.

Bravery alone wasn’t enough to overcome his troubled upbringing with the Dursleys, or Quirrelmort, or Diary Tommy, or the final leg of the Horcrux hunt — it required a combination of mental agility, resourcefulness, and cunning to evaluate the situation, outsmart his opponents, and tip the odds in his favour. Harry needed to survive. To survive, he needed something other than mere guts. Harry’s ability to think on his feet and leverage his intelligence to gain the upper hand in challenging scenarios remains a testament to his brilliance and his remarkable presence of mind. He isn’t the foolhardy, impulsive Gryffindor who leaps into danger headlong without prior planning everytime.

(For that matter, Gryffindor are more than their “bravery” which has somehow been twisted into being synonymous with “reckless” — Sirius being a prime example of this, when in GOF he was urging Harry caution in their communications, despite the fandom conveniently only zeroing in on the depressed, cooped up version of him in OOTP, sigh. Bravery is fortitude, pluck, tenacity, strength of moral fibre, resilience, and heart as well.)

Some other less-mentioned examples of his quick mind: Harry wondering about Snape and Karkaroff being on a first-name basis; remembering Nicholas Flamel just from a long-ago glance, and again, Stan Shunpike despite their single encounter; Harry coaxing out Slughorn’s secret (no, it wasn’t all the Felix Felicis); Harry putting himself in Voldemort’s shoes, and Ron and Hermione deferring to his superior, albeit scary, knowledge; and Harry frightening Ollivander with his deductions about the wands. (It wasn’t solely Hermione’s brains that enabled their chances of survival in DH, let’s ditch that false narrative.)

The most laughably contrived bit in fanon is the unfounded notion that Hermione lets the boys cheat off her work to coast by in class. Fanon is wrong on both counts. Hermione would sooner report the boys for cheating than allow them to copy off her, and Harry isn’t anywhere close to scraping the bottom of the barrel in class, and neither is Ron. The handful of instances in canon where she looks over their assignments and helps correct mistakes isn’t cheating. Her input is akin to getting a second pair of eyes or a beta reader to ensure their work is up to snuff — heaven forbid a student help out a friend by suggesting some tips and tweaks. (Or attend tuition or retain a personal tutor or three.)

The ‘that’s why Harry isn’t a Ravenclaw’ jokes get pretty stale once you realise a large portion of the fandom genuinely think he isn’t a smart kid or has never read a book of his own volition/interest in his life. But Harry enjoyed reading his new books late into the night before starting Hogwarts (he found Hedwig’s name in A History of Magic, after all). Admittedly, studying is a feat in and of itself when you have zero access to books, but some cunning can turn around your luck!

Nevertheless, Sirius had been of some help to Harry, even if he couldn’t be with him. It was due to Sirius that Harry now had all his school things in his bedroom with him. The Dursleys had never allowed this before; their general wish of keeping Harry as miserable as possible, coupled with their fear of his powers, had led them to lock his school trunk in the cupboard under the stairs every summer prior to this. But their attitude had changed since they had found out that Harry had a dangerous murderer for a godfather — for Harry had conveniently forgotten to tell them that Sirius was innocent.

‘Oh, Potter can’t differentiate between a salamander and newt’s eyes.’

‘Asking him to skin shrivelfigs is a tall order since he can’t wield a dagger properly.’

‘He used shredded jobberknoll feathers when the recipe called for a fine powder. Poor Hermione will have to take over yet again to save his stupid arse.’

It’s these many variations and renditions of Harry’s alleged, often exaggerated, ineptitude in fandom content and making a monkey out of him, which I come across more often than not, that are an instant turn-off.

The widespread idea that Harry’s success in the subject can be attributed solely to the Prince’s book is misguided and further undermines his intelligence — and this jaundiced belief that’s crystallised itself as canon, of Harry and Ron putting on a double act as stupid slouches in class and therefore deserving of Snape’s derision and the Slytherin’s put-downs, is a far cry from the truth. Snape’s opinion of Harry’s intelligence or ability should be taken with a grain of salt, given that Harry has been described as a bright and talented child since his first year, by the Professors, Dumbledore, and the Sorting Hat. Even the resident megalomaniac described him as “not unintelligent”. You know what’s actually canon?

1) Snape’s biased approach towards Harry and Neville caused them to have an unwarranted fear of failure and reprimands. The Potions classroom was a hostile and unwelcoming learning environment for these two boys.

2) Harry is pretty confident when left to his own devices in class in OoTP before Snape flushed his effort down the gutter.

Exhibit 1:

Snape, meanwhile, seemed to have decided to act as though Harry were invisible. Harry was, of course, well used to this tactic, as it was one of Uncle Vernon’s favourites, and on the whole was grateful he had to suffer nothing worse. In fact, compared to what he usually had to endure from Snape in the way of taunts and snide remarks, he found the new approach something of an improvement and was pleased to find that when left well alone, he was able to concoct an Invigoration Draught quite easily. At the end of the lesson he scooped some of the potion into a flask, corked it, and took it up to Snape’s desk for marking, feeling that he might at last have scraped an E. He had just turned away when he heard a smashing noise; Malfoy gave a gleeful yell of laughter. Harry whipped around again. His potion sample lay in pieces on the floor, and Snape was watching him with a look of gloating pleasure. “Whoops,” he said softly. “Another zero, then, Potter . . .” Harry was too incensed to speak. He strode back to his cauldron, intending to fill another flask and force Snape to mark it, but saw to his horror that the rest of the contents had vanished. “I’m sorry!” said Hermione with her hands over her mouth. “I’m really sorry, Harry, I thought you’d finished, so I cleared up!”

Exhibit 2:

“After this year, of course, many of you will cease studying with me,” Snape went on. “I take only the very best into my N.E.W.T. Potions class, which means that some of us will certainly be saying good-bye.” His eyes rested on Harry and his lip curled. Harry glared back, feeling a grim pleasure at the idea that he would be able to give up Potions after fifth year.

Exhibit 3:

Ron found it quite easy to ignore as they spent most of Saturday and Sunday studying for Potions on Monday, the exam to which Harry was looking forward least and which he was sure would be the one that would be the downfall of his ambitions to become an Auror. Sure enough, he found the written exam difficult, though he thought he might have got full marks on the question about Polyjuice Potion: He could describe its effects extremely accurately, having taken it illegally in his second year. The afternoon practical was not as dreadful as he had expected it to be. With Snape absent from the proceedings he found that he was much more relaxed than he usually was while making potions. Neville, who was sitting very near Harry, also looked happier than Harry had ever seen him during a Potions class. When Professor Marchbanks said, “Step away from your cauldrons, please, the examination is over,” Harry corked his sample flask feeling that he might not have achieved a good grade but that he had, with luck, avoided a fail.

Whereas in Ch 15 of OoTP, Snape had marked Harry’s essay on moonstones as Dreadful and claimed it to be a realistic expectation of OWL grading:

“I have awarded you the grades you would have received if you presented this work in your O.W.L.,” said Snape with a smirk, as he swept among them, passing back their homework. “This should give you a realistic idea of what to expect in your examination.” Snape reached the front of the class and turned to face them. “The general standard of this homework was abysmal. Most of you would have failed had this been your examination. I expect to see a great deal more effort for this week’s essay on the various varieties of venom antidotes, or I shall have to start handing out detentions to those dunces who get D’s.” He smirked as Malfoy sniggered and said in a carrying whisper, “Some people got D’s? Ha!”

And yet, Harry did very well on his OWLs before he even got a whiff of the Prince’s book.

Astronomy A

Care of Magical Creatures EE

Charms EE

Defense Against the Dark Arts O

Divination P

Herbology EE

History of Magic D

Potions EE

Transfiguration EE

Harry and Ron studied (!) both days of the weekend before Potions OWLs (!) without Hermione (!), and still Harry wasn’t sure he’d secure a good grade yet ended up scoring an EE. Exceeds Expectations, which y’know translates to: Surpasses Expectations, So Much Better than Expected, Rather Brilliant.

Unless you believe that anything less than the top percentiles is rubbish, Harry is not a ‘certifiable dunce’. There’s no denying he’s a competent and clever wizard and easily punches above his weight when he’s properly motivated and applies himself. Intelligence is a genetic trait, and Harry comes from nerdstock.

If he could achieve those grades whilst serving 7-hour torture sessions with Umbridge, suffering from Voldemort and Snape tearing into his mind, and putting up with the government slandering him in his second most important school year, running on fumes and sheer will (constantly disruspted sleep routine? Ugh!), then yeah, remove all those crutches, and he’d be raking in straight Os for most of those subjects. (It sort of sounds like ‘excuse our mental health and and anxiety’ for us if we perform poorly in exams, but not for Harry ‘he’s an idiot throwing teen tantrums’. Someone give me a hammer.)

“You’d need top grades for that,” said Professor McGonagall, extracting a small, dark leaflet from under the mass on her desk and opening it. “They ask for a minimum of five N.E.W.T.s, and nothing under ‘Exceeds Expectations’ grade, I see. Then you would be required to undergo a stringent series of character and aptitude tests at the Auror office. It’s a difficult career path, Potter; they only take the best. In fact, I don’t think anybody has been taken on in the last three years.”

Did he earn the grades? Yes. The Auror program ran aptitude tests, too, and only took the best, yes? Not because he’s a hothead with a daredevil streak and impulse issues, yes? Not because his dream was to be an Auror since his third year, or that he was only exceptional at fighting, or some such nonsense. After all, Barty Crouch Jr, he of the impeccable OWLs record, saw something worthy of Auror material in Harry and planted the seed in his mind. (Reminder: Barty also said Hermione should consider joining the Aurors too because her “mind works the right way”.)

And Moody thought he, Harry, ought to be an Auror! Interesting idea . . . but somehow, Harry thought, as he got quietly into his four-poster ten minutes later, the egg and the Cloak now safely back in his trunk, he thought he’d like to check how scarred the rest of them were before he chose it as a career.

If Harry was incapable of telling up from down in Potions, the Prince’s annotations would have been like casting pearls before swine. Worse still, Harry’s supposed lack of know-how would have caused more harm than good. The book only helped to refine the skills and knowledge he had cultivated over five years of study. Having a comfortable learning environment, an encouraging teacher, and superior instructions allowed Harry to maximise his potential and excel in class. (This phenomenon of underachiever-to-star pupil can happen in real life and is not unique to Harry. It happens with neurodivergent students with slightly different needs, students who require a more personal teaching style, and students stunted by an unhealthy learning environment. When their needs are met and supported, they tend to thrive and reach their potential.)

To put it into perspective, imagine taking an average kid whose expertise in cooking extends to making beans on toast and putting them in a professional kitchen. Imagine asking this kid to fillet a salmon and very finely slice lemons for garnish, tasks that require careful hands, finesse, and patience. If the kid can’t distinguish between a paring knife and a boning knife, they don’t stand half a chance. They’re liable to mess up the fish from the get-go. They might use a petty knife for everything and present a terribly executed dish; or they might cleverly choose a smaller knife but misuse it, not knowing that the flexibility and sharpness of a blade vary depending on their purpose, and end up seriously hurting themselves. Either way, filleting a fish is best left to seasoned home cooks and the pros.

In contrast, Harry is identical to a proficient home cook who knows the ropes but lacks some finesse and the fancy carving and plating skills of a trained culinary student. He has a firm grasp of the necessary theory and techniques and knows how to prep ingredients correctly, but may fumble the ideal application of said techniques, lacks an inborn zeal for the craft that lends to creativity, and overlook the finer details, particularly when he’s weighed down by fear of censure and humiliation. His level of success hinges on variables such as his confidence, familiarity with a recipe or method, and the type of environment he’s in. Talent is like a little seed; when nurtured, it will flourish.

Slughorn’s NEWT class was small, admitting twelve students out of a fortyish-student batch. No Gryffindor apart from the Golden Trio made the cut, and they were joined by the lone Hufflepuff, four Ravenclaws, and four Slytherins. Essentially, only a dozen students achieved an EE or O to qualify for NEWT Potions. Fanon will tell you most of the Slytherins have been tinkering with cauldrons in their diapers, but canon shows that only two other Slytherins, besides Draco and Blaise, made the grade. So, how are we still perpetuating this incorrect interpretation that Ron and Harry were barely keeping up academically when they’re more adept than half their year?

Harry and Ron aren’t academically inclined or driven by an obsessive urge to pore over books most hours of the day for fun, so what? Let them joke around and play chess and cards and broom race in the rain without bringing their brains and academics into the equation. Let Harry be a proper child/teen when he’s not busy hunting clues and crushing evil plots. Stop making the sum of HJP be “Powerful Himbo” or “Saviour Complex and Running on Luck”, which is pretty disrespectful towards a character who has shown himself to be so, so competent and well-rounded.

It’s such a huge thorn in my side that both Harry and Sirius (of all people, when he’s twinning with James as the insultingly effortless mavens during their time at Hogwarts!) habitually have their intelligence questioned and maliciously devaluated, or blown off entirely. So I had to sit and get this chaotically demonstrative commentary off my chest. Thank you, if you’ve read till the end!

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bleuetteecatholic

4 months ago

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