and more from the same series
top Vor things, no particular order:
Piotr, who wouldn’t accept Miles as his grandson until he was like five, asking if maybe Miles failed the Imperial Academy physical test because the instructor was a jealous prole
the end of Warrior’s Apprentice when Miles finally tells Baz his house colors and Baz nearly faints, and Miles tosses, “Break him in gently, Elena!” over his shoulder as he walks away
Gregor being like 95% sure that neither Miles nor Elena would ever point a loaded cannon at him
I’m almost entirely certain Simon isn’t actually, legally technically, sworn to Aral in any way, but every single person treats them as such
“Vor really does mean thief.” -drunk, furious Duv Galeni
Aral Vorkosigan, Admiral, Regent, Prime Minister and Viceroy, wears bright, floral shirts in his downtime.
“Let’s see what happens” (every. time.)
“But of course. Every Vor lady go to the capital to shop.”
when Vordrozda draws the needler in the Council of Counts, in the presence of the emperor, and fully half of them, these old men with the status, stuffiness, and average age of the UK’s House of Lords, get up and run forward to tackle him
Miles, what have you done with your baby brother?
when Miles reluctantly admits to Ekaterin that they would have had to sacrifice her and Professora Vorthys for the good of the station and Komarr, if it came to it, and Ekaterin replies, “Of course. We’re Vor.” And you can hear Miles’ jaw hit the floor, because coincidentally it’s the same sound my jaw is making, because holy mothergrubbing shit, if you were not convinced by this point that they were perfect for each other…
when Richars says “Lady Alys doesn’t have a seat on the Council of Counts” and five days later, Alys has whipped up like seven votes against him, mostly by talking to various Countesses and their daughters
when Miles shows up at Ivan’s office in Memory to requesition him, and Ivan is like, “NOPE” until Miles explains that it’s for Illyan, and Ivan is like, “…about time. Mother’s been complaining” and falls in behind him.
Mark haphazardly enlisting Elena as an armswoman-simple
Ivan explaining the secret code of Gregor’s suit choice to the Arquas
this list could go on for so long; I’m going to stop it with a reminded that Aral Vorkosigan wears bright Hawaiian shirts, and also honorary mention to the time Bel Thorne pretended to buy Mark’s charade of being Miles so they could go rescue a bunch of clones from Jackson’s Whole. That was the most Milesian thing anyone non-Miles has ever done, with the possible exception of sinking ImpSec.
Has anyone else checked out that Locked Tomb animated show? EDIT: I added an explanation to the comments as well, but before I get too many people disappointed - the original post is tagged as unreality, but I'm already seeing confusion in the notes. Sorry folks, this is fanart! I had the silly idea to make a few high quality gifs about half a year ago and compile them into a gifset like this - unfortunately there is no official animated show (as of now)
"If you meant what you said Alistair, then swear on the divine. 'Tis not often you get to be in her presence" "I- It's- You never stopped being mean, do you?"
A crow suddenly finds out he's appreciated not only for seduction and murder
In the run up to Dragon age: The Veilguard, I was almost certain that Fenris would be our main legacy character from previous games. Not only has he been central in the comics released between DAI and DATV, he is an escaped Tevinter slave who's plot revolved around magisters, magic and the structural prejudices surrounding elves in Thedas. Not only that, but he's canonically in Tevinter killing slavers currently so he's geographically in the right place for us to meet him.
About halfway through the game though, it was clear to me: Fenris could never cameo in The Veilguard. Because he'd break it.
How the Veilguard treats Thedas is...odd to me, to say the least. I will be writing another post about how much I adored the expanded big lore in this game (the titans, ancient elves were spirits, where the blight came from etc.) and yet while these large lore expansions worked for me, the actual culture of modern Thedas is entirely softened, its sharp edges filed down until it's a sanitised fantasy world devoid of what made the franchise so vibrant and compelling in the first place.
So let's start with Fenris and slavery. In all three games, the reality of slavery is pushing at the corners of the world. In DAO Loghain allows Tevinter Magisters to enslave elves in order to raise money for his war effort. In DA2 Fenris is fighting to be free from slavers who will not leave him be, let alone the reminders that the city was built by slaves which are everywhere. In DAI one of the two possible mini-bosses is Calpurnia who was a slave, and characters such as Gatt and Dorian both show us how much slavery is tied into Tevinters culture and success.
But DATV the first game actually set in Tevinter where we get to see the famed Minrathous...it's like the game purposefully wants to avoid the issue. I can feel it tilting the camera away to not allow me to see. Slavery is mentioned, but never talked about in depth or as a specifically ELVEN problem in Tevinter. This might have been done to be less problematic, it feels ignored.
We are in DOCK TOWN. We are at the DOCKS. You would think that slaves from all over Thedas who are being smuggled and bought by various groups would be everywhere. You would think that the injustice in dock town would be partly built on the back of ships we've seen in the comics crammed with elves in chains. This is the world Dragon age set up for us. And yet...nothing. zilch. A tiny easily skippable side quest where we free a couple of venatori slaves, but only one of whom is an elf.
None of our Tevinter characters seem to have been influenced by their culture even a little bit when it comes to how they view elves; there is no moment when Neve fucks up and says something prejudiced, no moment when Bellara or Davrin are distrustful of her for being a Tevinter mage.
The same goes for Zevran; a character who epitomised the issues with the crows. The crows have consistently been characterised as very morally dubious assassins who kill for the highest bidder and who buy children on the slave market and torture them as they grow in order to assure that they reach maturity able to withstand torture without giving away a client's name. Zevran is very explicit about the fact that if you fail a contract your life is forefit.
Nobody responds particularly to you if you're an elf. Nobody trusts rook less for it in Tevinter. Nobody treats Rook any differently. Even DAI had better mechanics for this; with nobles in Orlais less likely to trust you as an elf.
Considering one of the main plot points of this game and what makes Solas sympathetic is the fact that he was fighting against the slavery of ancient elves...you'd think the game might want to mirror that in modern Thedas. It might want to show us how characters fighting to end slavery in Tevinter are similar to Solas and how the society Solas fought against was similar to the one that characters we love such as Fenris have fought against in modern Thedas. Maybe we'd want to explore how in a world of slavery like this, how could the answer NOT be to tear it all down? Maybe we should have that option at the end of the game so it really can chose whether we agree with Solas and his plans or not.
Adding Fenris to this game would entirely break the game because Fenris refuses to allow you to look away from this horror. He is a sympathetic character who had to learn to trust mages again because of course he didn't trust them. Of course he didn't. Fenris wouldn't allow the camera to shift focus because he's literally covered in the lyrium scars that show how slaves are used as experiments in Tevinter. Fenris WOULD question Neve on how she feels about elves and slaves. Fenris WOULD have things to say about Lucanis and the crows (let alone the fact Lucanis is an abomonation). So he could never be in this game; he'd drop a bomb on it's carefully constructed blinders to the very society its supposed to be set in.
And yet, in DATV, the crows are presented as...a found family of misfits and orphans? The politician who opposes the crows having absolute power in Antiva is framed as a comically evil idiot who doesn't understand that the crows are ontologically good. Yet...they're NOT. Crows in this game act more like a secret rebel group than an assassin organisation. We see no crow taking contracts with the VERY RICH venatori magisters despite being hired killers. We see crows just refuse to kill people despite having a contract because 'its crueler to leave them alive'. The crows don't feel like the crows here, they feel like a softened version of a cool assassin group who are cool because they wear black and purple.
Our pirate group are also sanitised; the Lords of Fortune are good pirates who only steal treasure that's not culturally significant. Theyve clearly read the modern critiques of the British Museum and have decided to explicitly stop anyone levelling similar critiques at them. There is no faction of the Lords of Fortune who aren't like this, no internal arguments about it. Everyone just. Agrees. And is able to accurately tell what a cultural artifact is vs. what treasure that you can have yourself is. Rather than showing us why a pirate stealing cultural artifacts might be bad (like in da2 where such a situation literally causes a coup and a war) it just tells us it's bad. But also pirates are cool so we still want them in our world.
This issue seaps into Thedas and drains it of any of the interesting complexity and ability to SAY anything that this franchise had before this game. It becomes a game about telling and not showing rather than the other way around. The games have ALWAYS asked questions about oppressive structural systems and their interplay with society, religion and culture and how these things can affect even the most well meaning character. Dragon age at its best IS a game about society and how society functions both for and against it's characters and what happens to societies built on cruelty and indifference. The best bad guys dragon age has given us are those who are bad because they embody these systems or have been shaped by them. Our main characters have had to wrestle with questions surrounding how to exist in these systems, fight against them, learn and grow.
Yet every group you come across in DATV is sanitised and cleaned up to the point of being as non problematic as humanly possible. None of our cast of characters have to wrestle with where they came from or the world that shaped them. None of them have to confront their own biases. They start the game perfectly non-problematic and end it that way too.
And this just...isn't what Dragon Age has been in the past. It isn't why I love the franchise. The whole game just felt, in a way, hollow. And this was a CHOICE and it is why the legacy characters are few and far between. Too many dragon age characters are just too...angry and complex for this game. You can feel them pulling their punches on this one. I have to imagine they did this because they didn't want to be criticised or have too much controversy? But I think it honestly goes far too much in the other direction and just makes it bland.
I can't imagine what I say here will be unique, but it is the basis for a LOT of my other thoughts on this game so I wanted to get it out of the way first. The softened Thedas and characters make this game by far the weakest in the franchise.
posting all of these kids together again because that’s how decisive i am
me, wandering shoeless through the snowy wastes of ao3: please… all i want is for luke and leia to have grown up together…… blease…………..
Victim: please mr. Leverage. They bought my orphanage and they’re going to sell all the orphans I need you to stop them
Nate “Leverage” Leverage: I think we can get you some… leverage
Sophie: I’m going to start a bullshit argument now
Nate: please dont
Sophie: it’s going to last the whole episode
Nate: 🙄women (laughtrack)
Hardison: alright this is our mark Mr. Monopoly. He owns 16 weapons companies and took in 100000 billion million dollars last year. He just got into the orphan business and on the weekends he plays puppy golf.
Parker: whats puppy golf
Hardison: it’s like golf but you use puppies
Elliot: I’ve seen it. (snifffs deeply) not fun
Hardison: this guys ruthless. we’re going to be exploiting his one weakness. He really likes having a lot of money
Sophie: how?
Nate: we go steal an abstract concept
*they steal an abstract concept*
The mark: hello. I was impressed by your ownership of an abstract concept
Sophie: we’ll give you 50 trillion dollars for the orphanage
Mark: Zamn!!!
Sophie: 😏 we got him
*1 day later*
Sophie: here’s the 50 trillion dollars (holds up briefcase full of crimes)
The mark: I don’t want your money any more. I have a new plan. I’m goijng to dress all the orphans in hot dog costumes and start a theme park
Sophie: 😦
Elliot: we’re blown
Nate: Sophie throw the briefcase 💼 in the lake
Mark: whoa!! Thats wet money
Sophie: I can give you 5000 more orphans. Meet me at this unmarked warehouse in 6 hours
Mark: awooga
Hardison: Nate do you have a plan?
Nate: not yet
*Fade to black*
Nate: alright the marks on his way. Hardison what’s your 20
Hardison: I need at least 30 minutes to finish this Lego Taj Mahal
Nate: ok I’ll stall
Nate (playing bit character): I cooka da pizza!! Ohhhh (drops full pan of sauce on the marks head instantly killing him) mamma Mia (walks into the sea)
Parker: guys we have a problem
*6 Bad Men materialize out of thin air*
Elliot: 😒I got this 👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊🤛🤜🤛🤜✊🩼✊🦶🦵✊🤛🚪🦶✊🦵🤌✊🦶👊🦵✊✊👊🎷👊👊👊
*the Bad Men disintegrate*
Elliot: shit hes here (dives into a trash can)
*the mark reaches the building. There are orphans waving at him from the windows*
Mark: ok I’m here to take the orphans
The police: SIR YOURE COMING WITH US
Mark: what?? This is a completely legal orphan deal
Police: theres no orphans here
*police man grabs an orphan. Hes flat. Flashback to Hardison setting up 5000 cardboard orphan cutouts*
Mark: but what are you arresting me for??
Police man: sir you filled all of city hall with gravy
*flashback to Nate filling city hall with gravy while wearing a T-shirt that says “Im bad businessman”*
Mark: you can’t do this to me!!
Police: (arrests him)
Nate: heh. You could say he got... Leveraged
Parker: i have autism
Everyone: oh my god Parker shut up
Temples are built for gods. Knowing this a farmer builds a small temple to see what kind of god turns up.
not doomed by the narrative but saved by the narrative. yeah i know you'd rather die than keep suffering but the story doesn't actually care what you want. you have to keep going, even when it hurts. even being erased from existence won't stop you from being salvaged from the wreckage of un-being. get up. keep pushing. keep bleeding. keep living.