Bitchthingie - Barely Functional™️

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the thing i have discovered about being an adult is that every week you will have to spend 100 dollars.

i hate being in pain all the tiiiimee, i hate this shit🎶

i hate not feeling my arms, i hate not being able to sleep, in a horrible shit cycle of insomnia caused by pain and feeling pain cus I cant catch a fucking break🎶

I hate this shit🎶

I've tasted employment. I've tasted unemployment. I suggest money should start growing on trees so I can buy whatever I want.

More favourite numerical memes:

Implicit or implicit enumeration of uncountable things (example: taking inventory of the fucks which one gives)

Suggesting the divisibility of things which are not customarily thought of as able to be subdivided (example: "six whole people")

Using words that aren't numbers as numbers (example: "one William dollars")

Technically correct but contextually misleading estimates (example: looking at a group of several thousand things and observing that there are "at least three")

Incongruous qualifiers for apparently simple sums or tallies (example: she was twenty-seven years old, not counting 2014)

I have a chronic pain condition:

Weak.

Depressingly easy for doctors to dismiss you.

Likely to have some random white woman appear out of nowhere and ask if you've tried yoga.

This mortal vessel is slowly being consumed by the unholy power contained within it:

Metal as fuck.

Am I a demon, some extra dimensional entity from beyond the stars, something worse?

Likely to attract the attention of exorcists, but at least they take you seriously.

choosing to allocate spoons to hanging out and having a good time at the cost of perfectly completing all your work is not a failing it is in fact an act of survival. “too sick to work = too sick to play” is in fact ableist bullshit that you don’t have to buy into. and the fact that leisure time is treated like a privilege is a fucking travesty

dont kill urself until u try adderall and/or transitioning 👍