Adulthood Isn’t Bad, It’s Just The Labor Of Maintaining Your Existence Under Capitalism In Isolation

Not to be super negative, but it’s so exhausting to have to be strong about chronic illness. I want to break down and sob due to how drained I feel.

And I know I don’t have it as bad as many, but there is still a struggle and I’m so so tired.

I wish I could just have a healthy body and not whatever the hell is going on with mine.

I know I don’t have to be an inspiration all the time, but I’m not allowed to be honest about my struggles with those around me in real life without them being concerned. And I really really hate making people concerned.

if you’re starting a sentence with “as a white person” “as a cis person” “as someone who’s skinny” etc etc that is your sign to stop ✋ and consider if what you’re about to say is actually that important, or if you’re just expressing your penitence to the exact group of people who would really rather not hear you talk about how guilty you feel. like maybe just think for a couple seconds about why you feel like you have to finish that sentence

Well obviously I can’t have chronic fatigue, that’s a real problem for real disabled people that’s diagnosed by doctors probably. Clearly I just have some sort of perpetual exhaustion issue, that is also almost certainly my fault somehow

i could survive my own autopsy

The hardest thing for me to accept since becoming disabled is the fact that my progress in the majority of things that I do will be so much slower than it is for everyone else.

I'm trying to reframe my thinking and start being grateful when I can partake in hobbies and just enjoy the process instead of being focused on how quickly I'm progressing compared to able bodied people.

I've always been an "all or nothing" type of person and that type of thinking really doesn't work now when I have to pace myself and allocate my energy each day depending on what needs to get done

So I wait.

oooohb its gettibg bad aagajn