Little Johnny Comes Home From School One Day And Asks His Mother What "shit" Meant. Thinking Fast She
Little Johnny comes home from school one day and asks his mother what "shit" meant. Thinking fast she replied "food on the table". Next day he comes home and asks his mother what does "son of a bitch" mean. Again, thinking fast again she says "It's a priest". Next day he comes home and asks what does "fuckin'" mean. She says it means "getting dressed". That same night a priest was coming over for dinner. Johnny is just finished setting the table when he hears the doorbell ring. He yells "got it". He opens the door and says "Hey son of a bitch, shits on the table and mom and dad are upstairs fuckin'".
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i cant tell if im really nice but secretly an asshole or an asshole but secretly really nice
Bedtime Stories
Years ago on a distant ocean roamed a vicious pirate named Captain Warhol but people called him walle for short. Captain walle traveled the sea robbing villages and stealling treasures for years. He sometimes even took people to be workers on his ship. As time passed Captain Walle began to feel terribly lonely. He didn't know why he was always surrounded by his crew mates so why be lonely. He noticed that some of the workers on the ship seemed to be happy eveb though they constantly had to work hard. One day he forced a crew member to explain this unknown reason for happiness. The the crew mate exolained they are happy because they have friendship. The friendship allows them to be happy even though they are burdened with so much work. The Captain now realized the reason for his loneliness. To truly feel happy he needed to make friends with crew members. And so he became friends with the whole crew making him into one of the most friendly pirates ever to live. Captain Walle was finally able to experience the greatest treasure of all the treasure of friendship
"If you are going through hell, Keep going.." -Winston Churchill
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