Columbo Would Have Seen Thru Kira’s Bullshit Right Away. And After All We Don’t Even Know His First

Knife Wife - A Sasha Rackett playlist

Ain't No Rest for the Wicked - Cage the Elephant//You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi//Streets of London - Ralph McTell//Girl Anachronism - The Dresden Dolls//Teenagers - My Chemical Romance//Can't Trust Anybody Now - Jeff Williams//Assassin - Dan Bull//Imortals - Fall Out Boy//Nevermore- Jeff Williams//This Life Is Mine - Casey Lee Williams//Young Volcanos - Fall Out Boy//The Good, The Bad and The Dirty - Panic! At The Disco//Cheshire Kitten - S J Tucker//Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story - Hamilton//Found/Tonight - Ben Platt and Lin Manuel Miranda//I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor//Run Through Walls - The Script//Zombie - The Cranberries

Zolf’s Sea Shanty (extended)

I’m a lonesome drunken dwarven sailor, I am on the sea I can take to the sea whenever I do please I like to be on the sea I like it when I float I want this boat to not sink  Please don’t sink, please don’t sink boat

When e’er the sea’s a-ragin and the boat is really small And I’ve got friends inside who shouldn’t be at sea at all I yell up at the sky Beg god to let me stay afloat I want this boat to not sink Please don’t sink, please son’t sink boat

There’s a robot that controls the world it fills me with apall I’m starting to find I do not trust my god at all There’s no chance for escape Camaraderie I can’t promote I need this boat to not sink Please don’t sink, please don’t sink boat

I see no more point in trying to keep my group together here We’ll only have more fights if I continue to stay near There is no choice but to leave And no more words here left to quote I’ll leave so the boat won’t sink Please don’t sink, please don’t sink boat

I’m a lonesome legless dwarven sailor, on the sea again Solving awful weather with some old and some new friends Time is of the essence And the knife’s up to our throat I want this boat to not sink Please don’t sink, please don’t sink boat

The worst thing I ever did at a D&D table was when our DM ran out of place name ideas and told us the name of the port town we needed to go to was "Bar Harbor".

So I tricked him into roleplaying the slightly-too-helpful town guard into giving us directions to- Well you see, the party has been out in the wilderness for like a MONTH, we're all a mess, the dwarf's beard is out of control, so can you tell us- Where can we find the Bar Harbor Barber?

But we were not done. We each took turns, like a pack of velociraptors.

We also had Dryad in the party and a few of her branches got broken in a fight and now her whole canopy is unbalanced and it looks awful, but she really needs to see a specialist, is there a Bar Harbor Arbor Barber?

The Paladin also wanted to look in on a small church he'd heard of, that the city had a patron saint, who was boiled alive in a cauldron of ale, so where is the temple of the Bar Harbor Larger Martyr?

It was around this point that Chris started to tire of this nonsense.

The bard, naturally, wanted to go carousing, and he'd heard this town had some of the most attentive and welcoming Ladies of the Night on the continent, known by thier brightly colored stocking bands, so had he seen any of the Bar harbor Ardor Parlor Farber Garters?

Chris immediately escalated to threats of a Total Party Kill.

Unfortunately, I'd had time to prepare and-

"What do you want?"

"I just wanted to know if you'd seen my cousin."

"...Your cousin?"

"Yeah, I know it's a long shot, but he's got a pretty distinctive appearence and you might have seen him around town."

"Oh No-"

"Okay so he's Welsh and the whole family used to be in the wagon-making business but he got into clothes manufacture until there was an accident with a lamp black dye and now he's permanently stained a sooty color and that really turns heads, so now he's got a job drawing in crowds for the city funded swap meet- no, not the Drow that also works there, I mean like the inside of a fireplace- anyway, he got tired of people mixing the two of them up so he started wearing this fancy armor with a magical +1 charisma bonus-"

"Gallus I swear to God I *WILL* Summon the Tarraqsue-"

"-So have you seen my cousin, Arthur Carter, former Sartor but now he's the Darker Harker for the Charter Barter of Bar Harbor, the one with the Charmer Armor?"

Amazingly, we survived the Tarrasque.

This truly was a poem made to be read by a gentle half-ogre.

So, we’ll go no more a roving   So late into the night, Though the heart be still as loving,   And the moon be still as bright. For the sword outwears its sheath,   And the soul wears out the breast, And the heart must pause to breathe,   And love itself have rest. Though the night was made for loving,   And the day returns too soon, Yet we’ll go no more a roving   By the light of the moon.

By Lord Bryon

dwarf fort pixel stuff. working on a mod to add a bunch of creatures including velvet worms, tiktaalik, hallucigenia, and more.. also added some new guys to my pikmin mod

salamander and animal people body bases were lifted from vanilla, the rest is mine

Full resolution character portraits from Locust City.

*in the 2020s* he would do numbers on twitter *in the 2010s* he would get shares on his blog *in the 1990s* he would be a wiz on the multi-user dungeon *in the 1950s* he would get ratings on the television *in the 1930s* he would command the masses on the radio *in the 1880s* he would do dots and dashes on the telegram *in the 1790s* he would do arm signals on the semaphore *in the 1600s* his prints would be distributed widely *in the 1400s* he would sound the trumpet in battle *in the 700s* his words would be passed down by oral tradition *in the 300s* he would do smoke signals in the sky *in the neolithic* his artifacts would enter the archeological record *in the pliocene* his bones would be preserved in the sediment *in the mezozoic* he would do permineralization in mineral rich groundwater *in the paleoarchean* he would facilitate recombination of his genome *in the hadean* his molecules would self replicate in the early ocean *in the matter dominated era* his stellar nursery would collapse into a star and an orbiting cloud of dust *in the cosmological dark ages* quantum fluctuations in his density would form the first cosmological structures *10^-32 seconds after the big bang* his elementary particles would dominate in baryogenesis *in the plank epoch* he would do cosmic inflation in the energy dense early universe *10^-43 seconds after the big bang* he would be

hehe hgeehee ok ok rendered a few imgs with a smol test scene and the future is looking bright *tears up*

eh so a few things i still need to do,

arthur's beard texture is real fcken wack so i still need to figure that out

might have to rip more models from the game cuz the models i currently have are Not Enough (charles tits i need charles tites)

idk i want to do some modern au stuff with them so i'll have to brush up on my damn modeling skills

finally completed my dnd quiz! featuring a mix and match of 30 races and 14 classes, discover who you would be in the forgotten realms! i'd be a satyr artificer :)