I’ve Heard About Several Apps Designed To Help People Who Are Depressed, Considering Self Harm, Anxious,

Speaking as a relatively binary person who has several nonbinary sweeties and friends, this post seems to have generally good advice.  Many of the examples focus on singular they rather than neopronouns, although most of them will work regardless of the pronouns a person uses.  

The only section I have issues with is “tricking yourself” into using the correct pronouns for a person, partly because the examples given won’t work well for pronouns other than they and partly because that sort of mental gymnastics would be harder for me to learn (and unlearn) than teaching myself to do it right from the beginning.  However, I understand that that issue is specific to me, personally; other people are obviously going to have different experiences.

Pronoun tips from binary men and women

Every once in a while I am asked (or see someone asking) how to use pronouns other than he/him and she/her. The person asking is usually a man or a woman unfamiliar with nonbinary stuff generally, but they’ve got a particular nonbinary person in their life whom they care about and they don’t want to mess up. Maybe they keep misgendering their nonbinary friend and they feel guilty, or they want to take the burden off the nonbinary person who keeps having to correct them, something like that.

When binary people lack that confidence with pronouns, they seek the advice of nonbinary people. Not only are we likely to give advice that’s not ideal for binary people (because we’ve got skin in the game, all our friends are nonbinary so we’re used to it, etc.), but it is another facet of that dynamic of the privileged group (in this case binary people) placing their burden onto the marginalised group. Binary people should be asking advice from other binary people who’ve mastered pronouns.

So, I asked, and a bunch of binary people answered. I got advice from trans and cis binary people (men and women), and I’m collecting all the common stuff and the stuff I thought was good, all here for your perusal. If you know a binary person who’s struggling to get pronouns right, pass this along.

[This article assumes that you know a specific nonbinary person and you want to get better at using their pronouns, though the advice can be adapted. It also assumes that you’re familiar with the concepts of singular they and neopronouns, and you accept that they’re grammatically correct.]

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As I librarian, I love the idea of the queer community being more like a library than an exclusive club.  Huge thanks to FYA for choosing libraries as examples of open, welcoming, inclusive places!

Any aspec feeling down because of the posts telling not to go to pride, I've seen plenty of posts banning enbies, trans people, pans, bis and in one particularly baffling case, lesbians from attending. With literally the only group escaping these posts being cis gay men, I think it's safe to say they're rubbish. Gatekeepers can have their own super exclusive pride in some dark cave with rest of the council of evildoers.

I told my friend today that I think people see the queer community as this exclusive club and you must dress and appear “gay enough” to be allowed in, when I think the queer community should be more akin to a library that can host events. Because the exclusion of any dampers the pride I feel down until I don’t want pride symbols and colors everywhere because I don’t want to think about the heartbreak we do to each other 24/7.

I think Danny Devito would be great as the voice of Spider-Ham though!

Husband and I have a fun game called “Against Type”  where we speculate on either Improbable Roles for an actor or Improbable Actors for a role.  The results frequently make for better movies than the original casting.  Some of the best combinations so far:

Betty White as James Bond (With Daniel Craig as her Bond Girl)

Danny Devito as Spiderman

Arnold Schwaznegger as Any Teletubbie

Julie Andrews as Batman

Gilbert Gottfried as The Phantom Of The Opera

Lucy Liu as freakin’ anybody.  Seriously, any role I’ve tried to imagine her in I can only imagine her fucking killing it.  Captain America. Mary Poppins. Hannibal Lecter. Doc Brown. Elizabeth Bennet. Darth Vader. She’d be awesome.

Samuel L. Jackson as Dolores Umbridge

Taika Watiti and Lin Manuel Miranda as Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson (the musical)

Some notes from the game:

It’s harder to do this with actresses than actors because they tend to be more versatile.

Adding “The Musical” or “Directed by Mel Brooks” to any serious movies improves it by 500%

Christopher Walken is equally awesome/terrible at anything you put him in

I guess Mr. Snowflake there needs to just move along from McDonalds.

Fortunately, most of the people I know well enough to go to their parties have very accommodating pets.

gimme that pet (by Loryn Brantz)

My co-isolation sweetie and I ordered dinner from a local restaurant that does very good Middle Eastern food.  It was delicious, and I have enough leftover gyro meat and hummus to have it again later in the week!  I may even have enough to scramble some with eggs for a third meal.  Yummmm.

Let’s take a positivity break!

Reblog and add something you saw or worked on today. It doesn’t have to be big. If you finished a 10,000 word fic, great, but if you remembered to drink some water or watched an awesome sunset, also great.

Life is scary right now, but there’s also still a lot to love, and we could use the reminder.

The way the days are blending together right now is not helping me remember to post regularly.  I really do have a poem for every day of April, honest!

We left off with the importance of the name you give yourself.  La Sirena y el Pescador, by Elisa Chavez, looks at the power taken by those who claim to speak for you, particularly when you cannot speak directly for yourself.

Not all differences in translation are that problematic though.  Matsuo Basho's Frog Haiku has many different translations into English because parts of it do not have equivalent words.  The various translators use different methods to evoke the tone and "feel" of the original poem.

That leads us to the ultimate in poetry style disputes: Haiku vs. Limericks!  (Don't worry, we'll get to sonnets later in the month.)

This is great advice if you are able to travel to the ballot drop-off location or have someone you trust deliver it for you.

Also, check the requirements on your absentee ballot carefully!  In Wisconsin, the envelope for an absentee ballot needs to be signed on the outside by both the voter and a witness.  I think it needs the witness’ address, too.  If that information is missing, the ballot is NOT counted.  Check the requirements as soon as possible after you get your ballot so you have time to make arrangements, if necessary.

OK So with the shit with the USPS going on:

1. Check your Voter registration to make sure everything is up to date.  If you can, request a Mail-In Ballot.  I live in CO, where all elections are Mail-In only now, so I get one anyway.

2. Fill out your ballot per the instructions on your Ballot.  Some Notes:

Read Instructions thoroughly, and fill out your Ballot in private.

Do NOT post pictures of your Ballot as this may invalidate it.  DO Post pictures of your “I Voted” sticker.

Make sure to vote for all the offices up for election- as important as the presidential election is, your mayor, governer, local school board and sherrif have a MUCH bigger impact on your immediate safety and quality of life.  Google your candidates, look up the Leauge of Women Voter’s Guides for a reliably Impartial rundown of your local candidates. 

Remember also that it is better to have someone in office that is only moderately incompotent, than it is to have someone that actively wants you dead.  It is the first step to having someone worthwhile next time.

If you wanted a third party option, your local elections are the best place to do this- my own city council has several Green Party members and it got me city-sponsored single-stream recycling! Its also moving the state legislature significantly farther left.

3. INSTEAD OF MAILING IT- LOOK UP WHERE YOUR BALLOT DROP-OFF LOCATIONS ARE. 

They’re boxes you drive or walk or bus or bike or whatever up to and drop your ballot in, and the elections officials will have it that evening. Pros of Ballot Drop-Off:

Can be turned in the same day you reccive your ballot, if you want to get this over with ASAP

Open 24/7, so you can drop it off whenever

Absolutely guaranteed to get your vote counted, regardless of what Donald does with the Post Office.

No waiting in line

No exposing yourself to the coronavirus

Most cities will have several ballot Drop-Off locations, at places like the grocery store, the county courthouse, city hall, at high schools etc.  Google your town or county name and “Ballot Drop Off Locations” and it’ll give you directions even.

Absolutely Save the USPS, but this is the BEST way to make sure your vote gets counted this

There aren’t many things that have more pride than a peacock.

Pride flag peacocks! 

These are all available on my new redbubble!