Surprisingly, Non-binary People Aren’t Non-binary Because They’re Trying To “smash Gender Roles”

No Question

Every time I think about Zuko and Katara doing the fake dating trope in canon. I always laugh because no one would question it. In fact, it would be the most believable thing in the world. The only question people would have is, “What took you so long?”

But Zuko and Katara are so oblivious to each other's feelings that they don’t recognize that the only ones acting weird are themselves. They constantly try to overcompensate and make things more “believable.”

~0~

Zuko holding Katara’s hand: Does this look authentic? Oh, Agni, we must look so awkward. She’s so pretty, and she’s so out of my league. This is never going to work. Dont panic. Dont panic…

Katara: His hands are so warm. Don’t blush—wait, maybe that would be a good thing. It would make things more believable. But what if he figures out my feelings?

Meanwhile

Iroh: I knew they were soulmates when he sacrificed himself and took a lightning bolt directly to his heart for her.

June: I knew they were perfect together when I saw how he wore her necklace on his wrist. It was obvious he was holding a torch for her.

Sokka: I knew they were meant to be when they teased each other during the Elember Island players' performance. Everyone knows playful teasing is an act of love.

Toph who can feel their heartbeats: These bitches dumb.

can i reclaim this slur?

d//ke:

only women who are attracted to other women can use this slur. it has historically been used to degrade the womanhood of sapphics because of being sexually unavailable to men, and to make wlw feel like less of women.

f//g and f//ggot:

only men who are attracted to other men can reclaim this one. it is, and historically has been, used to degrade mlm’s masculinity, and make them seem less manly for being same-gender attracted.

q//eer

you can only reclaim this slur if you experience same-gender attraction (being lesbian, gay, or bi) and/or gender incongruence (being trans/non-binary). this slur has been used historically to make lgbt people seem weird and different — because that’s exactly what the word means.

it is never ok to say a slur you cannot reclaim. and even if you can use one, you should never use it to describe anyone else (unless they’ve told you they’re ok with it). yes, that includes calling the lgbt community the “q//eer community.” please don’t.

the circle of life

THIS is why SexEd is so important!

"I could fix him" well I could turn him into a flea, a harmless little flea, and then I'll put that flea in a box and then I'll put that box inside of another box and I'll mail that box to myself and when it arrives AHAHAHA I'll smash it with a hammer!!!

I just watched Avatar for the first time all the way through, and yeah, it’s great, but the one thing that surprised me was how different Katara was compared to the fandom interpretation I’d seen and internalized before watching.

Like, before you watch Avatar, you’ve seen all these memes about Katara and her mom, and based on those memes, you assume it’s one of those lines you have to get used to hearing at least once every episode. But then you watch the show and realize that she only talks about her mom maybe five or six times per season and you also realize she only brings her up when she’s trying to comfort someone or empathize with them because that’s how she processes her grief and that’s one way she connects with people.

Or you hear the infamous line, “then you didn’t love [our mother] the way I did” and you prepare yourself for one of the worst character assassinations ever only to see the scene after nearly three seasons worth of context and realize she was kinda right. She’s been the mother, the nurturer, the comforter. She’s been patient, gentle, and accommodating where everyone else has gotten to be insensible and reckless and childish, and the one moment where she allows herself to feel her grief, suddenly she’s this evil bitch and not, y’know, a 14 year old girl whose been thrusted into adulthood in a way no other character has. A 14 year old girl who should be allowed immaturity and raw emotion and anger instead of the patience and grace she’s been forced to extend to every character without even the smallest amount of gratitude or even consideration in return.

Or you see all of the clips where Katara puts Aang in the “friendzone” and you expect to have this wishy washy back and forth where Aang is putting his feelings out there only to have Katara neither commit nor express any clear reciprocation or rejection. Then you watch and realize that, as cute as the ship is initially, that there’s never a point where Aang returns any comfort or grace to Katara despite her always doing this for him to the point of coddling. That for as much as Aang says he loves her, he never seems to outgrow his perception of her so he can recognize her as someone who feels grief, anger, and pain as much as she expresses love, kindness, and maturity. And instead of having moments where he learns to see her beyond her strength or compassion, you’re instead given moments where Aang forces his feelings onto her, both romantic and non-romantic, and Katara is expected to just…shoulder those feelings the way she shoulders everyone else’s.

Katara is the most misunderstood character in the show. As much as people recognize the complexities of Zuko, Sokka, and Azula, they struggle to do the same for Katara because they see her struggles as somehow lesser, and therefore, less deserving of sympathy. They can handle her so long as she’s being endlessly patient and loving and kind, but the moment her endless love, patience, and kindness runs out, she’s suddenly this annoying bitch who can’t shut up about her mother or reciprocate Aang’s feelings. But Katara’s trauma does matter as much as anyone else’s. No, she wasn’t banished from her kingdom. No, she didn’t lose her entire community, and no, she isn’t the only one who lost her mother. But the difference between her and everyone else whose experienced loss because of the Fire Nation is that she’s never given time to process her trauma. Aang gets to lean on Katara constantly. Toph gets to express her feelings to Katara, and yeah, Sokka also lost their mother, but unlike Katara, he isn’t put in the position of being a substitute for everyone’s parent. He even admits that he sees his sister as a mother. The only characters who ever comfort Katara or allow her to vent is Zuko and her father and that’s, like, three scenes in a show where the other characters are consistently given opportunities to seek out Katara for unconditional support.

The fandom interpretation of Katara has been so bastardized that even those who haven’t watched the show know her for this fanon version and not for who she is. She’s such an interesting character beyond her fandom limitations, though. She’s brave, hot-headed, and hopeful as well as gentle and caring. She wishes to learn waterbending, not only because she wants to fight in the war, but because she wants to continue her culture’s practices because, and people often forget this, she also lost an entire subculture within her already fractured tribe. And she wants to defeat the Fire Nation both because of her deep love and empathy for other people, but also because she wants to avenge her mother. But because some of the fans have reduced Katara to a bitch who constantly whines about her mother and friendzones Aang, you wouldn’t know any of this, and it sucks because she’s the only character whose been dumbed down to such an extent.

I got back into ATLA, and I've gotta talk about how Aang may have wanted Katara, but he needed Toph.

Aang needed someone who would challenge him, not someone who would be his "safe haven". While Katara often coddled/mothered Aang, Toph was always his equal. The two of them could have fun together without the mother-son/big sister-little brother undertones Kataang had. Katara always sheltered Aang, which is why he never grew and developed as a character, not even as an adult. If Toph saw Aang emotionally neglect two of their three kids because only one was an Airbender, she would have, 100%, put him back in his place because she never sugar-coated ANYTHING and faced problems head-on.

THIS is who I wanted Aang to end up with. Toph might not have been the one he wanted, but she was the one he needed.

These two were made for each other, just like Zuko and Katara (the two characters with the strongest emotional connection in the entire show, who understood one another like no one else + let's not forget all the romantic coding, thematic significance and symbolism that their dynamic is full of)

my mom says she’s not a hugger. but when i put my arms around her on a gloomy day or after bad news she’s the last to let go. my dad says he doesn’t want gifts on his birthday, but i see the way his face light up when i get him a card with a nice message and a box full of chocolate anyway. he’s just a kid inside, still. it makes him giddy. my brother never says i love you. but when i tell him “i just need to finish the dishes before i vacuum!” he wordlessly goes to vacuum the entire house before i can, and if he sees me struggle with a wrapper or a jar or a bottle he mutters ‘c’mere’ and opens it for me without even sparing me a glance. the thing is, people love you quietly, and you love them quietly, and the air is buzzing with tiny but grand gestures & once you look for them, you find them everywhere. i think that’s really beautiful.

everytime i see antis imply that katara somehow secretly still hates zuko by the end of the show, i'm like

... "yup. that's exactly how i look at people i hate."