Zelda And F Scott Fitzgerald

Others' fears are suspiciously often irrational, while ours are, suspiciously again, always justified.

Should've uploaded it some time earlier, sorry folks

Dare you to move

"Everybody waits for you now. What happens next? Yeah, what happens next? I dare you to move ... Like today never happened before." sings Jon Foreman. Dare you to move was and probably still is a great hit but there's more to it, than just radically high sales.

There are neccesarily times, when we're on the floor, or just struggling to find our way. This is how we live. Searching for the right thing to do. But what do we do in these times? I believe there's nothing we could possibly achieve on our own, we need someone to dare us to move. That first step, with which every journey begins, is the one, that we are incapable of making.

I've been all about surviving lately. I worked hard, so that I wouldn't fail on tests, I never went out with friends, so that I could save time, I relaxed only on one day of the week, I've even neglected my meals. My one and only goal was to last until the big romantic turn, which I've been waiting for for ages now, would come.

Turns out, this was a very futile attitude because now, after months of merely enduring, I'm left with no success. I was hoping to get a literary agent, or an editor, or something to get published. Actually, I was quite confident about it. I know my novel is good, and I believe it's the best I could do, or even beyond that. But it just didn't happen. Those, who replied, were sadly giving negative answers. I've kept my hope, saying I have like four more answers to come, one of those will surely be a contract offer. But it's been a long time now and yet, the mails have stopped to come.

What do I do now? This is what I kept asking myself in the past couple of days. My studies are at the lowest level, which suffices for staying in. My book most seemingly is not very good at selling itself. There is no miraculous benefactor, who would support my career as anything.

I've been thinking, maybe I should really concentrate on my current studies and get a diploma as an engineer - it pays well. But then, I want to be more than that. Free. Of course I'm not getting a degree in philosophy, or arts but still... Something else. I'd love to keep working on my book and write new ones. I want to travel, make acquintances, act memorably, and always remain myself. I just have absolutely no idea how to do all these without making sacrifices I wouldn't wanna. Naturally, I'm ready to give up things but I was referring to relationships I'm not willing to damage.

And suddenly, just now, I see clearly, that there's so much potential. So many things I used to believe in just a couple months ago. Why is my faith in them fading? I'm at the contradiction line. If I make one more step in the direction of this surviving-lifestyle, I'm done, I'm going against everything I am and want to be. Here's the trick: I have the motivation. There's someone, who says: I dare you to move. He picks me up, He's doing it even right now. Despite how I see my present state, I know there'll be deliverance, so I aim for that. If I'm true to my beliefs, to my past decisions, there's always redemption and restoration. I can't wait for tomorrow to begin :)

I am the midnight of a soul I'm the other side of the wall The fissure between the tops Ever-hunted blood-red fox I am the glimpse of a thought I'm the wave broken by rocks A mystery of nothing Trapped, caught by snares whilst hunting I am the smoke of a burnt-out candle The smell of night The sight of blinds I am the broken glass' torn-down handle The weight of light The might of fright But dawn follows the night I'll enjoy an eagle's flight And I already know Why I wait tomorrow

I was within and without. Simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life.

The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

#southbound to Her, to the dentist and to sweet innocent dreams from the past

can you check out my blog?<3 its photography/vintage^.^

I just did and it's lovely :)

How have we got here?

A guy sat next to me in Maths class and we discussed how he ended up at studying to be a mechanical engineer. His conclusion was: "This career is chosen by many errant people." He originally planned to be a psychologist just couldn't get into the uni. I didn't even try any other institution apart from this one. We're both a little lost here but only for the moment.

I hope I'll have something closer to my heart to do in the next semester :)

Work today

And it's been another day! (I took this phrase from POPS, which is an incredible YouTube series... just sayin') So yeah, I've been revising, grammatically, my book-to-be, which is funny cuz' this normally happens after getting a publisher. Yeah, I suck. But I'm past the half-line and the hardest part is behind me. I know I'm not a big name and not the best guy to pick to be an author of children's stories but I still live in my kid-self's magical dreamworld, so I couldn't get myself do anything else. 'Kay, maybe I lied because I enjoy practically everything and maybe next year I'm gonna start my studies as a mechanical engineer (farthest thing from any literature). BUT enough talk, cuz' it's getting out of control and it's nothing but self-obsessed, self-endearing blogging :P LOL I'm a little harsh but I consider it as a healthy sense of criticism over myself ;)

THEND (The + End = ThEnd)