Please Do! I Need More Captain Marvel Fics And I've Already Exhausted All Of Ao3 And Most Of Tumblr So

Be wary. I have strewn various traps around this post

Bitter and lonely straight men who feel unloved by women do not seem to understand that women do not love men the way they think women should love men. Women who love men romantically don't love them with admiration, as a wise authority figure or someone they can rely on like children rely on their parents and belivers trust in their god. They love men the same way that they love cats.

Their weird hairy little house gremlin whose thoughts and feelings are occasionally utterly incomprehensible and expressed in strange ways, but who still clearly tries, and still clearly loves. Women love them despite of the home renovations they unpromptedly do.

But- The Baguettes-

Reblog to destroy France

I, honestly, need Jason picking up Bruce's arguments during fights and using them back on him. In the most unexpected moments. Just imagine Bruce getting mad during another of their patrols, and in the middle of the screaming session, Jason just switches and doubles him with his own phrases.

Jason: Okay, that's enough. You are benched from being my side-kick.

Bruce, flabbergasted: Excuse me?

Jason: You heard me. This is unspeakable violence you are displaying here, by the way.

Bruce: ???

Bruce: You are not going to berate me for smashing CRANE to the wall a few times.

Jason: Oh, why not?

Bruce: That was— That is justified.

Jason: Well, who do you think you are to decide what is justified and what is not? Huh, lad?

Bruce:

Bruce: Hood, that's—

Jason: Am I right, boys?

Tim, chewing on the popcorn: Yep, yep. Also hit him with a "What example are you showing to your little brother?" line for me.

Jason: Noted.

Bruce: ???????

Bruce: This is ridiculous. I can't stress enough how—

Jason: I am not your father to deal with this, B.

Bruce: I—

Bruce: Wait, when did I say something like that to you?

Jason: Before I ran away and died? Lol

Bruce: ...

Bruce: Oh. Shit.

@jedipirateking

Nope, havent found it(sadly).

Heroes at the watchtower: Why are they staring at each other? I hope they get along..

14-year-old Danny in his adult ghost king form:

14-year-old Billy in his adult Shazam form:

kim dokja core

Radioactive Hero (but not really) au

Danny moves to Gotham, hear him out! There's really good jobs there that pay through the nose and the cost of living is cheap!

Plus, the city is riddled with heroes and vilains! It's so easy to slip under the radar!

Unfortunately, there are so many civilian casualties. Like, all the time. Even in Metropolis!

So Danny, for his first year in Gotham, opens small portals to the Far Frozen and gets schooled on being a field medic. None of his powers can really be used for healing, but they can make people feel better. He just has to be careful to be as far removed from the Phantom moniker as possible, so he can't use any obvious powers.

He gets a bit of a reputation in Gotham; a small time hero of the people, for the people. A hero not invested in fighting, but in dragging civilians away from the danger. He doesn't even have a moniker; people are too busy arguing over the best one for him.

So while aliens are attacking both Metropolis and Gotham, Danny is out in full kit; a gas mask to hide his face, all black, repurposed kevlar from the vests the GCPD did not properly dispose of, no identifying markers.

But one of the clean up crews notices something insanely worrying; the geiger counter they have to point at alien spaceship parts? Yeah. Yeah, it's going off when they point it at the new small-time hero.

That hero's power is radioactivity. Holy shit. It's not at a level that will hurt people, but when he's dodging through fighting the level goes up.

The clean up crew concludes and shares via Twitter that the medic-hero is only a danger to others if he gets too stressed.

Word spreads fast, and pretty soon the absolute second Danny shows up on a scene, all fighting stops.

After all, no one wants to piss off the living Nuclear Bomb.

Basically, Danny's ghost-everything sets off Geiger counters, and now absolutely everyone is convinced that the medic-themed hero only refuses to fight because his meta power is just...being radioactive.

But he isn't.

So now, because it's the perfect cover and completely disassociated from Phantom, he has to play along and pretend like yes; that is his power.

has this been done before? I mean, spoilers for the demon realm arc

The batkids would absolutely work together if they had news they needed to tell Bruce but didn’t know how. One of the batkids would put in the group chat that they needed help breacking news to Bruce and everyone would pull out their own story’s so Bruce can’t stress out about whatever it is that needed to be told to him. So like this:

Jason: ugh how do I tell Bruce I’m dating roy and he now has a grandchild.

Steph: Infodump?

Jason agreeing: infodump

Then all the batkids would give Bruce the most random piece of information he has no way of processing till later so he can’t focus on the fact he now has a gay son and a grandchild (gotta love Lian). Everyone would pull out the most random facts like;

Dick: remember when I was 12 and didn’t talk to you for a month and only slept in Alfred’s room? Yea well that’s because my pet hamster you didn’t know about died.

Damian: I first ever killed Someone when I was 2 years old and thew up peanuts on someone who had Anaphylaxis.

Duke: I used to have a red string board about Batman’s identity and I would have been right if it wasn’t for the fact the robins kept changing.

Cass: when I was homeless I broke into ever house in Gotham including Wayne manor.

Tim: *mentions literally anything that happened in yj98*

Babs: my fathers known you were Batman since before I was batgirl.

Steph: my first costume came from the scraps of fabric that my father used to try and make me his sidekick.

Bruce never knows how to prosess any of the information and thus never reacts negatively because there is always at least one piece of information he didn’t know that throws him off.

My moral high horse is so tall that I consider mocking anyone to be "punching down". Unfortunately for you I am a terrible person and will do so anyway. The horse silently disapproves of this but I don't respond to judgy side-eye.